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**Note: Shuarya isn't kidnapped here ; shagun did manage to tell anokhi why they broke off. The story is of 3 months later; shaurya has rejoined as a professor at siac and shagun left. Phew, lol; i know a lot of changes are there; hopefully it isn't all too confusing.
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"Miss Bhalla, wait outside the cabin for a second." Anokhi nodded and stood patiently while Shaurya spoke to one of his student.
"Roshni, dropping out of college in 2nd year is not a good decision. Atleast complete your degree."
"Sir I want to, but as I informed you, I have no choice. My father has already fixed my marriage back in the town and my to be in-laws could care less about my degree."
"But, your father cares, right? So, why did he fix it? And, what about your choice?"
"He doesn't. I don't know if you remember but I am here because of my scholarship, albeit 80%, but he didn't have to spend a lot, and I am yet to see any girl's choice being take into consideration."
"But, you have a lot of potential. You have consistently been in the top 5 in your first year and also in the ongoing semester."
"Many girls do, sir, but it doesn't matter. I somewhere hoped that my to be husband would support me, but he won't. He thinks women are only good as homemakers, and he added to it, that why do I need to earn, he earns more than enough." She sighed and added, "I don't have it in me to rebel anymore, since I have done the same my whole life, and till when? After marriage, even if I do rebel, everyday would be a warzone. One can only fight for so long."
Silence befell in the atmosphere as Shaurya didn't know what to say. Her to be husband was crushing her dreams, due to the same mentality that .....he also, possessed. But were they the same? Not at all. If I was there in place of him and hear her say that she doesn't want to become a homemaker, I would have not forced her to give up her career, respecting her choice. Though, in his engagement, he didn't pressurise Shagun for the wedding, still he insulted her for her choice, beliitling her ambition. But, I have atleast changed this much to respect a woman's choice even if it doesn't align with my thoughts. Although, he can't take a moral highground because of this, since the basic mentality is still the same.
"There is honestly no solution, sir. I have thought about this a lot and just came to this conclusion that my mother did the same, and perhaps your mother must have done the same, countless women do, how does it matter if one more girl is added, but I don't have it in me to fight anymore."
Shaurya didn't quite understand the intricacies of it all, but somewhat understood that she is stuck in this situation. Having said that, She mentioned his mother, which led to him thinking, 'well that woman obviously didn't have to sacrifice anything."
Roshni trying to fight away the tears threatening to fall away from her eyes took shaurya's permission and left.
But, there was someone else whose tears where threatening to spill but she couldn't fight it. Anokhi's eyes met Roshni's in front of his cabin, and though they didn't interact much before today, at present their eyes conversed of the same pain to eachother and both understood what eachothers' silence meant.
Roshni ran through the corridors wiping her tears away.
Anokhi saw her retreating figure, she wiped her tears away, took a deep breath, in a hope to stop her mind from playing scenarios of the time when she was in the same place, and after seeking his permission, enters the cabin.
"Good afternoon Sir."
"Good afternoon, Take a seat Anokhi, I hope you are ready with whatever doubts you wanted to ask"
"Yes sir", she utters while situating herself.
Shaurya takes a seat beside her, and watches her intently as she takes out the notes from her bag.
Anokhi noticed his gaze and became conscious of herself, she didn't want him to see her vulnerable; specially not after what happened in goa. She has decided to seperate after what she heard from him and hence will keep their present relationship as formal as possible.
Shaurya looked at her as she tried to look confident but he had learned to read her since this anokhi sitting in front of him had started hiding her emotions just like he used to once. She had listened to his conversation with roshni and he was sure that had impacted her, afterall it connected to her past and, although, a tiny bit, to her present too.
Eventhough, she had vowed to forget every single memory of those times when they were together, the tension of unspoken love and spoken disappointment filled the air in the room. And, Shaurya could just pretend to act unbothered by her, afterall there wasn't any other option left. 3 months seemed like 3 years, they met everyday, but still didn't. All both wanted was to relish in each other's presence, to care and to be cared for, to love and to be loved.
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"Yes, I didn't want my wife to be career-oriented, so that she never leaves me or our future child like how my mother did in the past. And truth be told, I love your fierceness and determination, I know how much potential you have and I would never want you to compromise on that; still the truth is I haven't thought about the fact that can i let go of this expectation from my future wife, the fears I have are quite deep and when I fell for you, i didn't think about how you are ambitious and how the qualities you posed, same ones which impressed me are also the ones that I actively donβt want in my partner. It is honestly confusing anokhi. Though, at first I somewhere used to think low of ambitious women but slowly that has changed and I have come to respect them but....β
He glanced at her face which prompted him to stop. She looked even more heartbroken than before, and shaurya knew why. Today is when he realised how he is yet to get past his fears and his thinking, and how it is such a major point of conflict between both.
Anokhi solely came to him to hear his true thinking from his own mouth, before departing from Goa. She was relieved that he is safe and sound and recovered quite quickly from the accident.
If her heart were in pieces, hearing his words turned those pieces into shreads. She couldn't believe it he was the same person who has spoken so highly of her dreams but could somewhere fathom it since the things he said to her in library, afterall were said by him without any hesitation. How stupid of her to fall in love with the person who character assassinated her to no end; yes he was also the one who brought her back, with so much genuineness. But, can a genuine sorry take away the fact that all the things he said were borne out of his mind, the reason being his mentality. So, How could she trust him so easily? It seems like someone had possessed her mind and made her do such stupid things.
"You are confused? So easy for you to say Shaurya Sir. Thank You for making me realise what stupidity I was doing. Neither can I nor will I ever meet your expectations because you are not the only one whose past has shaped one's present. I hate people with such thinking, it is because of men like you that parents of daughters say to them that no man would accept them if they are ambitious. Expectations of men like you become the shackles for every single woman. As they say, little drops of water make the mighty ocean, and here the mighty ocean being the opression of patriarchal society that every woman has endured, some have fought it while some succumbed to it, and little drops being this regressive thinking of every single person that contributes towards making such a society. I loved you for the person you are, but now I hate you for the thinking that you have. I am leaving Sir."
By the time she uttered the last sentence, she was uncontrollably sobbing. shaurya tried to hold her but she moved back.
Shaurya didn't know what to say. He came here to clear the misunderstandings but here she had asked a question that shagun had put in her mind, as she informed. Why Shagun, just why? I would have told her but when the time was right, but now everything is just getting more and more messed up. Did she say she is leaving? This can't be happening, how do i stop her? I can't lie to her since i really don't know if i can accept her with her ambitions wholeheartedly but she can't leave, this can't be happening. Shaurya was too distressed to fathom the depth of Anokhi's words.
Anokhi deciphering his feelings from his expression states,
"I will not leave SIAC, not at all. That time I gave too much value to a man's opinion, reason being my stupid heart, but not again. But, I hope that you would respect my choice and not pressurise me, atleast without changing your thinking which should be visible in your words and actions. Afterall, you mentioned that how you have come around to respect women for their choices. By the way thank you on behalf of all ambitious women for your respect."
Shaurya didn't miss her sarcastic tone, but he was relieved that atleast she wasn't leaving SIAC. But, he doesn't know how it is all going to shape from now on since it seems like Anokhi really does hate him or maybe not him, but his mentality?
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"Any more doubts, anokhi?"
"No sir, thankyou; now this topic is crystal clear to me, may i leave?"
"I am glad it is, you may"
She was taking quite slow steps towards the door while thinking about Kanchan ma'am's words; they had come quite close in goa hence exchanged numbers, she regularly tells her how shaurya has started observing things in the house more deeply than ever. "The differential treatment to the DILs, the way how our voices are always shut down, like he asks me questions related to my experiences, and also to his gayatri chachi. It looks like he is really taking an effort to find out about the dicrimination on a deeper level, Anokhi."
Just when anokhi was going to open the door, she stops and after contemplating whether she should say or not since it has been 3 months and she hasn't spoken to him if it wasn't totally needed, but turns to face him nonetheless and utters,
"Sir, even after witnessing the situations occured in the last 3 months, even after noticing how daughter in laws are treated in your own home, now more closely than ever; and now also seeing Roshni's situation, do you still not believe the quote, that is written right behind you, applies to girls as well?"
Shaurya taking in what she said turns back to notice the quote, "Education gives you wings to fly"
he lowers his eyes, his eyes giving off the battlefield like condition of his mind, and turns to face her again.
"Or you still believe that girls shouldn't fly? Or all girls can but except the girl who will be your wife?β
She pauses and giving a sad smile continues, "Maybe you should just find girl who is wholeheartedly okay with being a homemaker, how I wish you paid attention to the fact that I don't fulfill the criteria of being a sabherwaal bahu. It would have saved both our hearts from breaking."
"Oh and by the way, by now you might be knowing that the girl who fulfills the criteria of the sabherwaals would be living in a cage, made of gold, decorative and grand, but a cage nonetheless. I don't see any woman, a homemaker or not, stay happy or content, since freedom is a need, it shouldn't just be a dream, left unfulfilled. No better examples than the women you are already talking to."
With this, she leaves his cabin, leaving behind a shaurya whose mind was at a war with itself. Thinking of all the recent happenings, past happenings and everything in between. Anokhi still doesn't know that Kanchan doesn't share things about him to her only, she does with me too and I know about how your good for nothing jeeju raised hands on Babli ji again. I wish I could do something for you or your sister but I know you won't take any kind of help. I could never support domestic violence, I never did; but a thing I didnβt realise is how important it is to be financially independent to even think of walking out of an abusive marriage. But thinking all of this makes me frustrated, why I still cannot wholeheartedly accept the idea of an ambitious woman as my wife. I want to but... I donβt know, I canβt even explain it to myself.
'Ugh! I shouldn't have said any of it, why did I?, Anokhi thinks to herself while walking towards her hostel β .... I just couldn't stop myself when I heard about Roshni. It makes me angry to the core thinking that he has such mentaIity. Even when 3 months have gone by, I still can't control my feelings for him. He talked about his fears of his past before, but how does it relate to marrying an ambitious woman? Shall I ask him now?.... No, not now, I have already crossed my line today; also I don't think I can listen to him with an unbiased perspective, it isn't just he who has deeprooted fears due to his past.
Inspite of all this, I can't help but raise my hopes that maybe, just maybe.... he might change. ...What an irony! The kind of mentality I came running from is the kind I found in front of me, however, wrapped up in a person who seems different, who is different. Is he? or Is my heart playing tricks with me?, yet again...'
Shaurya was alone in the library late at night, reading books related to his subject. But his mind was a chaos. Words of Anokhi, Kanchan, Roshni running his mind. He got up from the chair in search of a book and then suddenly something clicked in his mind. The happenings of that day hit him; his mind playing it scene by scene. The things he uttured to her that day, the amount of insult he threw at her that day all rushing into his mind, "Ha tum loose character ho". The irony is that he gave such an evident display of closed mindedness in a place which signifies open-mindedness in its core. He knows he didn't mean any of it but he thought of all such things, isn't that how he uttured those words? They came into his mind and then left his mouth without an ounce of hesitation. 'There is definitely something I need to change in my mindset. I can't think of such things for any person even in anger; afterall I promised anokhi the same. But, is it that easy to change and from where do I start?' As he was thinking, his eyes roamed around as if he will find the solution in the room. Strangely he did; what better ways to gain knowledge about any topic than books?
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Hey everyone! I hope you liked reading whatever I wrote! This is how I thought I will end since I just wanted to showcase the tension and the clash between them but I want to continue with a second part, so as to give this a proper ending.
I imagined so many scenarios as to how this main conflict is going to shape up ShaKhi, so this is the output of my multiple imaginationsπ
Please let me know your feedback. I hope it didn't sound like dragging, since the whole one write up is based on just one setting. i just wanted to write it in detailed form. Also, hopefully it didnβt turn out to be preachy or boring. Always open to criticism.
Will try to update next part soon!
I hope you all are healthy and safe. Wishes for the team too. These are such dreadful times, sometimes everything really feels hopeless, wishing everything gets better fast. Take care β€οΈ
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Part 2: Page 6
Part 3: Page 9
Part 4 (last) : Page 11
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