Shakhi // GOODNIGHT MOON // Chapter 2

Anokhi was staring blankly at her wall. The reality of everything around her had just now crashed on her. She’s left her house. Her father hates her, loathes her. He’s never going to accept her. He’s never going to love her.

Shaurya reached her hostel room and saw that it was cracked open. Through it, he saw Anokhi trembling while sitting on the bed watching her wall with dead eyes. He had never seen her like this. Even after she was ragged, she had a fighting spirit. Even after he called her those disgusting things, she was still strong. Her courage had broken but this time…Anokhi herself was broken. All of Anokhi was broken.

Shaurya watched her pick up her phone with trembling hands and dial a number while taking in shaky breaths.

She put it on speaker since she was in no condition to hold her phone to her ear.

“Hello?” a deep male voice spoke from the other end. Anokhi looked at the phone and after hearing the voice, she burst into silent sobs.

“Hello? Kaun bol raha hai ji? Kisse baat karni hai aapko?”Anokhi couldn’t stop crying as she cradled the phone. She had changed her number after coming to Chandigarh.

“Arey kuch bologe?! Main phone rakh raha hu ji. Pata nahi kyu faltu main phone karte hai.” Panic filled her eyes and a frail whisper escaped her lips directly into the speaker of her phone.

“Papaji…”

Silence. The only sounds coming were the deep breaths of Anokhi and the person on the other end of the phone. Shaurya knew she had problems with her father but as soon as those words escaped her lips, his eyebrows shot up almost to his hairline.

It was silent for a good minute before a calm voice replied back to her.

“Nikki?” Hearing him call her that, she broke down again not able to control her sounds this time. It had been so long since she had heard him call out her name.

Shaurya didn’t know what had transpired between them. But he knew, whatever it was had deeply hurt her. He had never seen Anokhi so vulnerable. She literally couldn’t stop crying and his heart clenched with each sob. He felt like he was invading her privacy. Watching a girl from outside of her room through a crack without her being aware of it and listening to her talk to her father which was clearly a sensitive subject felt like a severe breach of privacy. He wanted to look away. But he couldn’t. And he knew he couldn’t possibly leave her like this. Alone.

“Papaji aapko pata hai, aaj college ke fest ke baad dessert main Mishti Doi serve ho rahi hai. Aapko yaad hai kaise hum dono saath main khate the? Aap mujhe apne haatho se khilate the apni godh me bithakar. Sirf hum dono ko hi pasand thi. Aap kitna gussa hue the ki kisi aur ko pasand nahi aayi. Lekin mujhe pasand aayi thi. Meri favorite ban gayi thi. Aap kitne khush the ki kisi ko toh pasand aayi. Aaj bhi Mishti Doi ko dekhkar mujhe aapki yaad aagayi, Papaji. Lekin maine khai nahi. Aapke bina aaj tak nahi khai. Aaj kaise kha leti? Aapko…Aapko yaad hai na, Papaji?” Anokhi sobbed into the phone, laughing while remembering those memories but her voice breaking ever so often as tears still streamed down her face.

Shaurya understood now. He knew she saw the whole thing with Alok and Bebo. Of course she would cry. He was sure he had heard a few sniffles coming from the other end of the call as well as Anokhi narrated the memory. He wondered why her father was still angry at her when clearly he was crying too remembering those memories.

“…Nikki, phone rakh.” Came the deep voice again, deeper than before now. Shaurya heard the tremble in his voice too.

“Papaji…please…”

“Nikki, phone rakh de chup chap.”

“Please, Papaji…”

“AREY MARR GAYE TERE PAPAJI! Uss hi din marr gaye the jab tu shaadi se bhaagi thi. Kuch nahi lagta main tera. Na main tera Papaji. Na tumeri beti. Aisi kudi paida hone se pehle toh accha hota ki main marr jaata. Samaj main roz muh jhukake na chalta padta. Tu toh aish kar ri hai. Vadda sheher, vadda college, naye dost. Aur yaha mujhe sharminda hona padhta hai terivajah se har roz. Ek gal yaad rakhna, Nikki; Tu meri beti nahi hai. Aur na aage kabhi hogi. Meherbani kar, aur vapas phone na kariyo yaha. Tu jiye ya mare, mujhe koi pharak nahi penda.” Her father shouted at her and cut the call abruptly.

Anokhi stared at the phone.

Shaurya had witnessed it all. He removed himself from the crack of her door and leaned against the wall outside her room. He took in a deep breath.

“Tum jiyo ya maro, I don’t care.”

Those words that he had uttered to his mother hit him hard now. He never realized what she must’ve felt like. He felt a pang in his chest from her father telling the same thing to Anokhi. He didn’t even know him. Yet he still felt pain. He can’t imagine what it must’ve felt like hearing the same thing from her own son. He was beating himself up over the gravity of his words when suddenly he heard a loud, agony filled cry from inside the room.

It was so gut wrenching that he swung open to the door without a second thought, fearing for Anokhi.

He watched the scene unfold right in front of his eyes. He watched the strongest person he knew break down into a million pieces. He watched her throw her phone at the wall while crying out. He watched as she took a stick from beside her and smash the remnants of her already broken phone.

He ran towards her with tears in his own eyes and snatched away the stick from her.

She paid no heed to him and slipped down the side of her bed with her head in her hands, unable to control her heart clenching sobs.

Shaurya kept the stick on the other side of the room; out of reach from her so that she doesn’t hurt herself and locked the gate.

He slipped down the side of the bed beside her and immediately took her in his arms. She sobbed into his chest, not caring about who it was. His shirt was drenched in seconds. He didn’t care about any of that. He held onto her. She needed him right now and damn all hell if he wasn’t going to be there for her.

She clutched his torso tightly while he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close to him as hard as he could. He didn’t know how to snap her out of this. It literally broke his heart seeing her like this. His own tears streamed freely down his face on the top of her head which was pressed against his chest.

He thought about how much this girl had gone through to get there. So much. And the fact that she was ready to leave in an instant after he had questioned her character made him now understand the gravity of his words. The girl who had gone through so much to get there to receive an education was ready to leave just like that because of what he said. The intensity of his words hit him hard. He had apologized before just to keep her here with him, but now that he actually felt what he had done to her then, he was absolutely devastated. He was disgusted with himself.

He kissed the top of her head, through his own tears. He didn’t realize what he had just done. He just knew that she needed comfort right now and what is the point of him if he wasn’t going to give her just that.

He had never held someone so tightly. It was as if he was trying to keep her together, keep her broken pieces together. He had just witnessed her crumble into herself.

 “Agar main uss situation se guzarti hu aur phir main aapse yeh baat kehti hu, toh phir toh aap meri baat zaroor manoge na?”

“What do you know about this? Kya janti ho tum?”

“Aap iss duniya main sirf ek hi insaan nahi hai jisko apne parents se problem hai.”

“Listen, apna aur mera pain compare karne ki zaroorat nahi hai.”

“Pain toh pain hi hota hai na ,sir. Alag naam ho sakta hai pain ka ya phir koi alag nature ho sakta hai lekin kaam toh ek hi karta hai. Dil dukhane ka.”

Anokhi was bawling in his arms. He just held her. Pain is pain. And he couldn’t see her go through it. It broke his heart to the point that he felt himself break a little. She was so important to him. He couldn’t even comprehend himself how much. But as he held her while she was breaking apart, he knew that he always wanted to be there to hold her like this. He knew he always wanted to be there to comfort her. He knew he always wanted to be there to pick up her pieces and piece her back together. He knew he always wanted to be there to make sure she doesn’t break apart again. He knew he always wanted to be there.

She had always kept her life before Chandigarh locked up in a cage away from everybody here. Only Aastha ma’am knew. And from what it seems like, she didn’t know the full story either.

Shaurya knew nothing. He was aware that she had fought with her parents, ran away from her home, and ran away from her own wedding to be there. That was bound to cause some rifts in relationships. That was bound to cause her pain. But she never showed it. She always had a strong face on, fighting with everybody to make a stand. She never faltered. And now that he has seen a glimpse of what she’s feeling, he couldn’t begin to imagine what she must be going through all this time, without him and everybody else making it hard for her.

His mother had left him and it still pained his heart so much but she had made a conscious decision to leave her everything behind. Leave her parents, her home, everything. Anokhi has such heart and such care that he knew she would’ve loved everyone back home to death. Hearing her talk about that memory of her and her father, he saw how she yearned for his love. She loved him so much and it completely broke her. Her father’s words broke her.

“Itne bade bade shabd mujhe nahi aate lekin itna pata hai ki shabdo main takat hoti hai; cheezien banane ki aur cheezein todhne ki.”

Her sobs quieted down to soft whimpers and her body grew heavy from exhaustion. She had been working the whole day before this happened. The whole thing had taken a major toll on her, mentally and physically but especially; emotionally. He could sense she was tired. She was tired of fighting and keeping up her pretenses. She was tired of everyone fighting against her, making her question herself. Tired of proving herself at every step of the way. Tired of having no one. She had been walking through this all alone, enduring it all alone with a smile on her face every day.

Shaurya realized maybe he never knew Anokhi. He knew the Anokhi she wanted him to know. He knew the Anokhi she made out for everyone to see. He never really knew her. This Anokhi, the Anokhi tired from everyone, vulnerable in his arms, crying her eyes out was just a glimpse into who she really was. He had just touched the tip of the iceberg. There was a whole lot more to her and he wanted to see it all. Every aspect of her. Every problem. Every side of her. Every emotion of her. He wanted to see it all raw as he had just seen her. He wanted to know Anokhi. The real Anokhi.

He looked down at her to see she was sleeping on his chest. Soft snores escaped her lips as she nuzzled into him further, her cheeks still damp with tears. He just held her tighter not caring about the tears on his cheeks and rested his head on top of hers. He let out a long-drawn out sigh before fluttering his eyes closed, the last thing he saw was the Mishti Doi he had brought sitting on the table in front of them.

Everything was a mess. And Shaurya promised to be there for her.

It was one promise he intended to keep forever.

That's the end of GOODNIGHT MOON. I hope you loved reading it as much as I loved writing it. I just wanted Anokhi to have a proper breakdown. That girl has gone through too much. Do let me know what you think. Love you!

Wish you could continue as a conclusion yk? Them talking to eo & Anokhi thanking him for being there for her maybe? But that's alright 😆

One thing I really liked was how you pointed out Shaurya realising how dumb he was to blame his mother, the way Anokhi's dad blamed her. That was so nicely written but what was the cherry on the cake was how you mentioned he doesn't know the real Anokhi. Part of her vulnerability he has seen but this side, her past in Kapurthala is something he isn't aware of. Lovely plot!

Enjoyed reading a lot & hope you'd write more 😊

Edited after reading your comment 😆

Originally posted by: Coffee_Chips

Wish you could continue as a conclusion yk? Them talking to eo & Anokhi thanking him for being there for her maybe? But that's alright 😆

One thing I really liked was how you pointed out Shaurya realising how dumb he was to blame his mother, the way Anokhi's dad blamed her. That was so nicely written but what was the cherry on the cake was how you mentioned he doesn't know the real Anokhi. Part of her vulnerability he has seen but this side, her past in Kapurthala is something he isn't aware of. Lovely plot!

Enjoyed reading a lot & hope you'd write more 😊

Edited after reading your comment 😆

I thought of writing a conclusion to it but it just didn't seem right. I don't want Anokhi to think like she owes him an explanation just because he was there for her. And neither does Shaurya expect any from her. I just wanted to highlight that Shaurya was just there for her. He didn't know anything about what was going on with her but he was there for her because he could see that she needed him. I wanted to show that he would be there for her no matter what. And Anokhi doesn't have the faintest clue that she's with Shaurya right now. She just needed to let it all out. I wanted Shaurya to see a glimpse of what is her life. So I kept it open ended. It was not supposed to be a romantic fanfiction. It was just them being tethered to each other like this that they could just be there for each other in silence without any words and still find comfort in each other. 

I even thought of something like after Anokhi fell asleep, he's gonna pick her up and lay her down on the bed but I really wanted Shaurya to hold her the whole night and fall asleep while holding her and if he had laid her on the bed then I wouldn't be able to do that because I don't think Shaurya is the kind of person who would get in bed with somebody without their consent while they're sleeping and vulnerable no matter how they they are.

So it was sweet how they just held onto each other and slept on the floor upright. I wanted to magnify on the fact that everything was a mess around them but they are going through it together.

I'm glad you liked it.

Love you.

I read this some fifteen minutes back and it took me some time to get a grip of my emotions. 

The strain in the relationship of Nikki and her father has always caused me some personal pain but today as I read this, I couldn't help the ache that captured me whole. 

Because I know, no matter what happens, even time will never be able to make Nikki taste Mishti Doi the same way it did when her father fed her with unintended love. 

Isn't it weird how everybody notice that humans crave for love but most of the people don't even try to trade with acceptance that has a power to outshine that love ?! 

Acceptance - acceptance towards their flaws, acceptance towards their dreams, acceptance towards their regrets and acceptance towards their beliefs ! 

It's weird and its.....painful ! 

Agar main uss situation se guzarti hu aur phir main aapse yeh baat kehti hu, toh phir toh aap meri baat zaroor manoge na?”

“What do you know about this? Kya janti ho tum?”

“Aap iss duniya main sirf ek hi insaan nahi hai jisko apne parents se problem hai.”

“Listen, apna aur mera pain compare karne ki zaroorat nahi hai.”

“Pain toh pain hi hota hai na ,sir. Alag naam ho sakta hai pain ka ya phir koi alag nature ho sakta hai lekin kaam toh ek hi karta hai. Dil dukhane ka.”

I love how you brought this up, this has been by far their best conversation in terms of life. I could feel memories brimming in my eyes as I wondered about pain healing pain at times.

Itne bade bade shabd mujhe nahi aate lekin itna pata hai ki shabdo main takat hoti hai; cheezien banane ki aur cheezein todhne ki.”

Bilkul ! Beshak. Shabdon mein vaakai bahut taakat hoti hai, kabhi zindagi bhar ke phool ban jaate hain tou kabhi humesha ke liye kaaton ki tarah chubh jaate hain. 

Aur Dard ki cheekh aksar khamoshi hoti hai !!

Now, about your writing, trust me this was gorgeous. You write absolutely beautiful and I could see Nikki breaking in front of my own eyes. 

What else do I say?! But trust me I didn't feel the need of salt in my dinner as my lips were forced to taste the tears I couldn't hold back!

Light and shine 🤗❤️

Akanksha !!

Originally posted by: Tallulah

That's the end of GOODNIGHT MOON. I hope you loved reading it as much as I loved writing it. I just wanted Anokhi to have a proper breakdown. That girl has gone through too much. Do let me know what you think. Love you!

Thank you dear! ❤️🤗 This was such a great read! You captured Anokhi’s soul so beautifully. Raw and so pure, it was superbly done. Keep on keepin on!!❤️😘🤗

Wow!!! After it ended I was just staring at my screen trying to keep a check on my emotions. That was the impact you created. Honestly I really have nothing to say. This was sheer perfection!

Anokhi my gurl, she truly has been strong for too long, my heart really breaks for her😭😭

Wish they cared enough to show her feelings in the show too...

This was magnificent!! 👏 I absolutely have no words to describe this piece of writing. You have written it so well. You have captured Anokhi’s emotions so well. She yearns for her father’s love and affection and this relationship may or may not mend one day.
i absolutely loved Shaurya here. He was there for her. Sometimes words don’t need to be spoken and he has started to see the real Anokhi. She hides her fears and scars but they are all there and so raw. He has just seen the tip of iceberg! I hope you write more. Your absolutely talented. Lots of love ❤️