While I can't help but find it convenient that Dia is now claiming her marriage had nothing to do with her pregnancy, with the timing being what it is, I do accept and understand her point. I know so many people who would have benefitted from their parents either divorcing or having never gotten married in the first place. And I don't even mean that the households are abusive or toxic (though some are), but also just so many of my friends who are terrified of relationships because for their entire lives the main relationship they witnessed was basically a loveless obligation, in which two people loved their child/children but shared basically nothing else in common.
Also, on a personal note, I am someone who is asexual/aromantic, but I do want kids, and I plan to have them by way of adoption eventually. I know some people still consider this a non-ideal situation to bring a child into, but if you ask me children really just need a stable support system of some kind and lots of love, which I know that I would be better equipped to provide as a single woman than if I were in a relationship of obligation/convenience.
Children from 2-parents households fare better. Doesn't matter if you're married or not. It takes 2 committed adults to raise a child. But marriage is also something that keeps said parents together.
If a woman is ready to have a child and give it a good life, then it doesn't matter if she is married or single. I don't think children need two parents. They just need a loving supportive environment. There are plenty of single parents who do a great job and plenty of couples who mess up their children real badly. Also, marriage is not going to guarantee that the father will stick around or be involved. Many people co-parent together despite not being married. Many women end up being the sole caregiver for children despite being married.
It's time we shed the archaic perceptions of marriage and children. Also, there is no way of knowing whether the marriage was due to the pregnancy or pregnancy was a coincidence for a couple that was getting married. I have friends who got married within a few months of having a baby, but the marriage was planned well ahead and they had been trying for a while. Many people with high-risk pregnancies do wait until they are into the second trimester before announcing pregnancy.
My idea is if a woman or a teen girl gets pregnant before marriage, the society should take it normal as to not put any kind of pressure on her. The society can advise her but must not make her feel awkward about it as to make her living difficult living in society.
In England, more than 65% women are unwed mothers. Mostly these are white women. Their society is so open and understanding.
That 2-parent households fare better is proven by studies.
That marriage makes parents stay together is also statistically proven.
There may be myriad reasons behind the numbers, including income. But it is what it is.
So I don't understand bringing feminism into it.
You can argue about not sacrificing yourself for you children (I don't; if you have kids, they need to be priority). You can argue about not ostracizing single parents (they shouldn't be). But how can numbers be argued with? They're either there, or they're not.
P.S. numbers show gay parents who are married have the same success with their kids as straight parents who're married
Edited by HearMeRoar - 2 years agoYou married because you want to spend your lives together, Im sure you married the first time for the same reason? What happened? 😆
People are not allowed to make mistakes?
Oh really, spare us the feminism. Why get married then with the pregnancy. Just like you dont need a marriage to get pregnant, you dont need marriage to raise a child. You need two agreeing responsible adults to raise a child. Sadly marriage does not guarantee that either. Either go all the way with your feminism or just say you too think being married is just the expected thing to do and so you too did go that route. These bolly people talk so much BS but the minute they get pregnant, they also get married like all sanskaari Indians.