Dia Mirza - "Why Can't Women get Pregnant before Marriage?" - Page 4

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by pali001



Unfortunate events vs deliberately making a decision to deprive the child of a father is not the same thing. Most single parents did not choose to be so...Lets not underestimate the presence of father in a child's life. 

I was raised without a father because he died so I am speaking on people who was raised without a father and a single mom raised them, it teaches you to be independent. Yes I know people who grew without a dad even though their fathers are alive and it’s sad. But I don’t agree with the fact that just because you have both mom and dad you’ll do better because I know way too many people who have both parents in the house who are not doing better personally and professionally. I believe in destiny written whether it’s good or bad. 

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by Rhimjhimsawan


Great so now not only are we debating whether a woman has the right to be a single mother but we have entered the territory that a kid must have a father so lesbian parents are out of luck. Lesbian moms beware! Your kids might turn out to be mass shooters. Got it! Is there a study on that to see if all the psycho shooters came from single moms, or dysfunctional traditional parent homes? 


I have said over and over that gay 2-parent households and heterosexual 2-parent housholds, when married and stable, have similar outcomes for their children. Are you not genuinely not seeing it?


Issue here is not sexuality. Issue is the presence of 2 parents in the same household in a stable (legally and psychologically) relationship. 


And where did that become about the right of single women to have children? Numbers are numbers. Wishing them away doesn't make it any less real. Single women are free in most parts of the world to have children without father being present. Chances are their children will not do as well as those of 2-parent households in a stable relationships, GAY OR STRAIGHT. Picking out one Sushmita Sen from the lot is not going to change arithmetic.

Edited by HearMeRoar - 2 years ago
Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by Terenaina


I was raised without a father because he died so I am speaking on people who was raised without a father and a single mom raised them, it teaches you to be independent. Yes I know people who grew without a dad even though their fathers are alive and it’s sad. But I don’t agree with the fact that just because you have both mom and dad you’ll do better because I know way too many people who have both parents in the house who are not doing better personally and professionally. I believe in destiny written whether it’s good or bad. 


Having a bad father/losing a father/ knowing you could have a father if not for a shitty decision made by one of the parent... makes a world of difference on the child's mind and soul(psyche)...you view it as unfortunate situation or makes you bitter and angry with the world. There are quite a few single mom's who are bad mothers too. 

You do not have everything in your control...you try your best to cover all the bases.Right from making sure you are marrying a decent person...who can be a decent parent etc. 

Life is hard aneways...bad things happen. Why give it a deliberate head start ? 

Edited by pali001 - 2 years ago
Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by HearMeRoar



I have said over and over that gay 2-parent households and heterosexual 2-parent housholds, when married and stable, have similar outcomes for their children. Are you not genuinely not seeing it?


Issue here is not sexuality. Issue is the presence of 2 parents in the same household in a stable (legally and psychologically) relationship. 


And where did that become about the right of single women to have children? Numbers are numbers. Wishing them away doesn't make it any less real. Single women are free in most parts of the world to have children without father being present. Chances are their children will not do as well as those of 2-parent households in a stable relationships, GAY OR STRAIGHT. Picking out one Sushmita Sen from the lot is not going to change arithmetic.


Not all my replies are about you. Sorry absolutely not meaning to be rude or offensive. I don’t think I even quoted you. If I was talking to you specifically I certainly would have quoted you. 

It's a general statement reading the comments. Read up. At least two comments are about how important fathers are. 

Posted: 2 years ago

Rich parents obviously fare better than poor parents in raising their child.

So people below poverty line should clearly not have children.

How are they going to fulfill the needs of their kids when they struggle to even sustain a living?

Posted: 2 years ago

I suppose nobody read the article and just commented by reading the title posted by TM.

It's not Dia who asked the question, "Why Can't Women get Pregnant before Marriage?".

It was the "troll", who was not really a troll like the article is saying. He just asked a question and Dia answered it. Didn't seem like a troll.

Posted: 2 years ago

I think this thread will also get closed

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by Rhimjhimsawan


Great so now not only are we debating whether a woman has the right to be a single mother but we have entered the territory that a kid must have a father so lesbian parents are out of luck. Lesbian moms beware! Your kids might turn out to be mass shooters. Got it! Is there a study on that to see if all the psycho shooters came from single moms, or dysfunctional traditional parent homes? 


I have no data on same sex partners.secondly, Same sex partners with kids are statistically very less significant...they would fall in the outliers category in a distribution.

Having one parent beats none. This thread was about why women cannot get pregnant and have kids without father ? 


BTW...if studies show Gay/Lesbian parents are outta luck....then there is nothing that anyone would do or say to prove it otherwise...just saying  I did not even consider this aspect ...bcoz pretty sure Dia was not hinting at being a mom with lesbian partner. Heck ! same sex partners might even be better parents for all we know... 


Lesbian moms beware! Your kids might turn out to be mass shooters : Dont shoot the messenger , you have problem with data...not me. None of the shooter's mom were lesbians. Bringing a data point into picture relevant to topic does not mean i have all other data points.

Edited by pali001 - 2 years ago
Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by HearMeRoar



There are sociological studies out there, proving two-parent families, gay or straight, are better for children by every criteria. Among them, children of married parents fare better. They do even better when the parents are generally happy together.


Are statistics now archaic?


I will proudly proclaim my feminism. But it can't come to mean avoidance of responsibility. Ie, if you choose to have a child, said child has to come first. How does it equate to no equal rights for women which is what feminism should be?


None of the above means single moms should be ostracized.

I think those statistics don’t really differentiate between the two types of single parents. What I mean by that is say a young woman gets pregnant unexpectedly and is then not supported by the baby’s father, she may not have the economic stability, the education, the healthcare or housing where she can provide a life that is equivalent to a two parent household. Or maybe to provide that life she needs to work more, thereby sacrificing time with her kid. That’s one type of single parent household. But say an older woman with a stable career, higher education level and the overall a more established life makes the choice to plan a family and have a child on her own, she would likely be able to provide an experience similar to that of a two parent household. That’s not to say that the first type is wrong by any means, I just wanted to point out that the comparison may not entirely be equal. 

All that aside, I would still argue that if you can’t model a healthy and loving relationship for your children, that isn’t a relationship that will serve them well in the future. Yes, they may be economically or educationally better off in statistics, but they won’t know how to create a relationship for themselves and that can be really damaging too.

Posted: 2 years ago

Originally posted by Harley_Quinn


Rich parents obviously fare better than poor parents in raising their child.

So people below poverty line should clearly not have children.

How are they going to fulfill the needs of their kids when they struggle to even sustain a living?


A lot of people truly believe one should not have kids they cannot afford to have...not just money wise.

so yes, letting a kid starve and get neglected ...god knows what horrors those kids face...

Infact there is a theory..."not mine". Rich should have more kids and others should milit based on affordability... but reverse happens....rich have trophy kids (one or two) and poor have many

Edited by pali001 - 2 years ago


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