Adi's perpetual anger and scolding for Imlie

The story doesn't move much overall😆.....but this is one of the underlying running themes of the story that throws up some interesting scenes from time to time. 

Before the fated turn of events in PD, Adi-Imlie's relationship was one of banter, leg pulling and some heartfelt conversations....there wasn't a sense of full on intimidation from either side. The basic differences in them age-wise, personality-wise, social background-wise were very much apparent then also but that didn't give either of them a license to put down the other completely. 

Then came the forced wedding and it changed everything. Two themes emerged....a) A constantly frustrated, angry Adi lashing out at Imlie for putting him in this position and b) A guilt ridden Imlie mostly bearing him constantly scolding her. 

Now a lot has happened in the time since....these two have gone through many highs and lows together....Adi has moved past the initial level of mistrust and anger at Imlie, and Imlie has gotten used to her "existence" at Tripathi house along with Adi's brand of anger and scolding. 

Both of them are very much aware that Adi's constant scolding and anger towards her is hurtful and it's not like it's hidden from Adi how it hurts Imlie but this basic pattern doesn't change....he has to scold her out of both anger and worry. On one hand, he has acknowledged that this isn't her fault either and she doesn't deserve all this, but on the other hand he also can't seem to help himself from continuing to be hurtful to her this way. He claims it's all cuz of his worry about the truth coming out inadvertently but that excuse doesn't hold up that much anymore. 

Which then brings me to the basic question....Why, Adi? Your worry about the truth coming out is on one side....but what exactly makes you think that constantly scolding Imlie is fine? Is it because she is so much younger than you that you feel it gives you leeway to play the "Main badaa hoon" card? 

I don't think that's quite it....yesterday's fallout from the mimicry scene made me thoughtful on this front again. The dialogues from the family members, all their reactions were very telling. Every dialogue given to a family member in that scene was about how Adi "cages" Imlie out of fear and intimidation by constantly scolding her. One of them even pointed out that he has never discriminated against anyone in his life but he seems to be doing it towards Imlie. Another pointed out that the girl who became so apni for the whole family so quickly is the only one that Adi treats so rudely. 

All of this points towards one conclusion that is building up very subtly.....anger is all Adi has left. He has convinced himself that he needs to place restrictions around Imlie or she will soften him too and find a way into his life, into his heart. This is why no matter how much it gets pointed out that he treats Imlie in a substandard/demeaning way, Adi is mostly able to block it out and keep trying to live his life with Malini. It's a standard reflexive defense mechanism.....his anger "protects" him from caring for Imlie....or so he thinks😆.  He seems to think that keeping her intimidated will not leave her with time to question him or think about being herself. In many ways, I get the sense that he thinks allowing Imlie to be herself with him will lead to his downfall😆. Cuz an unfettered Imlie is like sparkling sunshine....she just seems to take over any space she is in. Adi may not consciously want to dim her light but that is what he does subconsciously cuz he fears her light may overwhelm him before he knows it. 

The other problem is that the anger doesn't hold up consistently.....he is angry both WITH her and FOR her.....which leads to diverging results from time to time. Then there is the scolding....he knows he's already mostly achieved the goal of intimidating her but he still can't seem to help himself from scolding her....has it just become a habit now? Is it still the defense mechanism to maintain a distance? Or is it that he just knows no other way to communicate with her anymore.....even if he sees that the scolding hurts her and lowers her self-esteem. 

This mimicry thing fallout seems to have given him some pause about the hurt his put downs have caused her but it remains to be seen in the larger scheme of things if he will ever feel that heavy a guilt for intimidating Imlie so much that she lives in fear of him. Is the alternative so scary for him? 😆....that if Imlie isn't scared of him, she will end up being her usual happy self and he won't be able to maintain this emotional distance he is trying to maintain? Well he's failing at that anyways😆.....he is so emotionally attached to her when all they share is a relationship of gussa and daant.....toh agar this changes into something more positive, what will he do then? 

Hey missed your posts. Well written. During PG suhagraat - there is a self reflection moment where he acknowledges that whenever Imli comes in front of him he becomes a different person. He now sub-consciously adjusts his behavior around everyone to mask what he is feeling...becomes extra flirty with Moon. For an intelligent guy - I wonder why he has not take the time to self-analyze everything he's doing. It's been bluntly pointed out by Malini so many times. If it's only sympathy and affection as he says in the iv - why are his emotions towards Imli so much stronger than towards Malini? I guess he will eventually ask himself the question when his emotions are no longer able to be masked. If he starts with his first lie to moon about the gift - here is where he is starting to cross the next line. And as you said - its the irresitable pull of Imli. Once he hides one incident - he either will pull back and try to be aloof or he is going to start on the path to hiding many more things. 

During yesterday's episode - I think Adi deliberately chose to say about how he felt about Imli earlier and the forcing of Imli on him to deflect and escape his families further questioning. Thats why when he came to see Imli - his first question was - did my comment upset you? and her answer was classic :)

Originally posted by: priyapak

Hey missed your posts. Well written. During PG suhagraat - there is a self reflection moment where he acknowledges that whenever Imli comes in front of him he becomes a different person. He now sub-consciously adjusts his behavior around everyone to mask what he is feeling...becomes extra flirty with Moon. For an intelligent guy - I wonder why he has not take the time to self-analyze everything he's doing. It's been bluntly pointed out by Malini so many times. If it's only sympathy and affection as he says in the iv - why are his emotions towards Imli so much stronger than towards Malini? I guess he will eventually ask himself the question when his emotions are no longer able to be masked. If he starts with his first lie to moon about the gift - here is where he is starting to cross the next line. And as you said - its the irresitable pull of Imli. Once he hides one incident - he either will pull back and try to be aloof or he is going to start on the path to hiding many more things. 

During yesterday's episode - I think Adi deliberately chose to say about how he felt about Imli earlier and the forcing of Imli on him to deflect and escape his families further questioning. Thats why when he came to see Imli - his first question was - did my comment upset you? and her answer was classic :)

Thanks! I was taking a break cuz the drag was irritating me😆.

Sympathy and concern are the conscious emotions he feels towards Imlie right now, so that's what he will reply with if anyone asks him why he's worrying for Imlie or trying to do anything to help her. It is what is in his subconsciousness that he seems frankly TERRIFIED of reflecting on. That is all I can conclude based on his need to retreat into anger/scolding every single time. 

Whenever he feels cornered, he lashes out about how he felt like Imlie was forced upon him.....so that is why I think he blurted it out to the family in that moment....it didn't seem calculated to deflect. But the moment his father pointed out to him that Imlie too didn't have a say in being forced to come with him to the city, Adi had no answer. So he very well knows that Imlie isn't to blame in this....but he has no other justification for his behavior so he again and again retreats into laying the blame on her or scolding her. 

He asked her if his comment hurt her because he knows it was hurtful...the pain showed in his eyes as he was watching her there....but Imlie gave him a classic Imlie response - both truthful and large-hearted......she eviscerates him without even asking for an apology for the things he hurts her with....that is why he's so undone about her. 

Simply put, Adi's entire intimidation act seems just that....an act designed to keep Imlie in fear of him so that he can "manage her". Cuz otherwise she is a handful😆....and then some. I keep going back to that one time that Adi told Malini that Imlie is dangerous.....lol the whole family thinks she's a goof, but Adi is very much aware that Imlie is a force of nature who wins over everyone's hearts quite quickly when given half a chance. He considers himself the last man standing in some ways😆....so he will fight tooth and nail with all kinds of tactics to avoid succumbing to her in anyway. The irony is that Imlie isn't doing anything to actively win over him or anyone....simply being herself is magnetic enough. The other irony is that Adi fighting all this tooth and nail unwittingly makes Imlie the victim of his anger and scolding.....and he needs to reflect over that more than just in passing. 

Lovely analysis! Loved reading your post!

You said it so right that adi knows only one way to communicate to imlie is through anger only, yes he cares for her deeply but he always shows it through his daant only, maybe he doesn’t know how to talk to her other than scolding her lol😆

Sometimes he do talk to her with softness like in the last scene of the episode where he isn’t angry but is talking politely and is pouring his heart out about the situation, i really like these type of conversations btw them, no matter what they still manage to have heart to heart talks about themselves, their shared secret, shared fear of the truth etc.

Lovely post as usual  😊

I do feel it is more of a defense mechanism as you  said he really doesn't  know or wanna know what will happen if he will let lose his guard in ways he is afraid to even give it a try caz subconsciously he is somewhere aware of what she is capable of and that will make just survival difficult for him with him.having his feet in 2 boats.. it is easier this way caz if anything he will take cover of his anger and be like there was nothing anyway even knowing deep down  ke kuch toh tha that was more than just general concern and care and majboori of having her at his out of guilt and zimmedari.. all these are just excuses caz  imlie is the suraj over here who will get past the cloudy skies no matter what while his anger is more  representing that..yeh bhi kuch jadh take theek hi hai ke he has no other emotion left which is why  I guess even around moon he has to try hard to not explode all the time  the way they have been pre and post this has stark changes sure he still grovel coddles her and tries to flirt but none of that esp the flirting or being happy with her part comes across as genuine it all has a very glossed over feel very banawati pan despite his constant oh I am mad deeply in love  caz at this  point whatever they once had is also taken for granted as a way to get away from accepting and acknowledging thr very fact that imlie ka impact kid hadh tak ho chuka hai.. malini becomes the perfect  reason for him to continue with his denial ke sab theek hai jaisa bhi jo bhi hai kuch nahi badla but sab kuch badal gaya hai on so many levels for him the jabardasti and the truth of it has changed him as a person and ab he isn't  true to himself forget to anyone else.. which becomes another irritant.. the times when it hits him he appears so dead inside and haara hua in those moments the pain and guilt  just overtakes any other emotion.. 

And yes the other  thing being this gives him also a reason to use the age gap too so he feels the need ke isko daant dapat  karte raho toh she wouldn't  develop anything for him either  that way he isn't  just pushing his emotions back he is kinda taking co trol of hers too ke kahin yeh apne toh kar le control but imlie  ke na kar sake toh he never let's her feel anything for him ke kahin iski softness uske mann main kuch develop na kar de so he goes out of his way to remind her how she is thopi hui on him.jot his choice says the harshest  things to her to.oush her back to keep her "caged" in the sense that  all this will make her retract  into her nope i don't  want anything to do with this shaadi  but little does he know that this intelliwomaniya  can see through him as she herself told him ab iski daant main usse sirf aur sorf fikar dikhti hai.. she doesn't  feel that intimidated anymore caz she has accepted that as part of his personality since she isn't  aware much with how he was so she goes with yeh janam se hi aisa hai as shown in the mimicry part  .. if he uses that ghussa as a defense mechanism then she has accepted that ghussa as his affection towards her too his special way to treat and show his haq on her 

Man i missed your posts so much. The  scenes from imlies mimicry down to the last one between adilie completely blew me away yesterday.  Adi is now forced to introspect in regards to all his bad behavior towards imlie from the start. Hopefully he now understands how lonely she has felt in a house full of people while he has been harping on how unfair circumstances have turned out for him. 

Beautiful post and perfectly written. I agree 100%. 

I want to bring up another point here: Malini.

The fact of the matter is that Aditya never loved Malini. She was the person who made sense to him. Logically, a well-read, middle-class person like Aditya belongs to an equally well-read, classy girl like Malini. It's just logic. No love involved and they made that clear from the start. In fact, Aditya has never experienced romantic love in his entire life. If he had loved Malini truly, would he have waited 7 years to commit to her? He has always valued his job above her. He has never bought her a gift on his own...and he claims he's not a romantic person. 

And then came Imlie. Utter chaos...came into his world and literally turned it upside down...to the point where he doesn't even recognize who he has become around Imlie. He was forced to marry Imlie. But who knows? Had he not been forced and stayed a few more weeks in PD, he may have fallen in love with her on his own. But he was forced. Not only did this come as a huge shock to him, but it also took away the control that he thought he had over his life. And so he projects that anger onto Imlie. That's the only reason (in my opinion) why he married Malini also. Malini was his way of fighting against fate. In many ways, Malini is his responsibility. He saw what telling her the truth about Imlie did to her... and so he felt obligated to marry her because he feared what she'd do if he didn't. If his marriage with Imlie was forced, then in many ways, his marriage with Malini was also forced. 

But now...this girl that he brought back home...this village girl who turned his whole life upside down... he needs to be angry with her. He needs to exercise that control. Because the only thing that's in his control now (or so he thinks) is how he feels towards Imlie. The logical part of his brain knows that Imlie is as much a victim to this marriage as he is...but he blocks that out of his mind. He sees her innocent antics but puts a stop to it immediately, constantly scolding her. Because he knows that if he doesn't, he'll inevitably fall in love with her. And he'd have to admit defeat against fate. So yes, his anger is his defense mechanism. Malini is his defense mechanism too. He married her because he wanted to distance himself from Imlie...try to prove to himself that he has moved on and that there's no relationship between him and Imlie. But he subconsciously knows that it's a lie...Imlie will always own a large part of his heart...and that was seen when he carried Imlie to the hospital when she was shot. He became frantic with worry...as if she was his only reason to live...he was behaving like a madman.... That is how he really feels about Imlie. 

It's love. He's in love with her and he'll do everything he needs to to fight against it.

Originally posted by: -Sanjana-

Beautiful post and perfectly written. I agree 100%. 

I want to bring up another point here: Malini.

The fact of the matter is that Aditya never loved Malini. She was the person who made sense to him. Logically, a well-read, middle-class person like Aditya belongs to an equally well-read, classy girl like Malini. It's just logic. No love involved and they made that clear from the start. In fact, Aditya has never experienced romantic love in his entire life. If he had loved Malini truly, would he have waited 7 years to commit to her? He has always valued his job above her. He has never bought her a gift on his own...and he claims he's not a romantic person. 

And then came Imlie. Utter chaos...came into his world and literally turned it upside down...to the point where he doesn't even recognize who he has become around Imlie. He was forced to marry Imlie. But who knows? Had he not been forced and stayed a few more weeks in PD, he may have fallen in love with her on his own. But he was forced. Not only did this come as a huge shock to him, but it also took away the control that he thought he had over his life. And so he projects that anger onto Imlie. That's the only reason (in my opinion) why he married Malini also. Malini was his way of fighting against fate. In many ways, Malini is his responsibility. He saw what telling her the truth about Imlie did to her... and so he felt obligated to marry her because he feared what she'd do if he didn't. If his marriage with Imlie was forced, then in many ways, his marriage with Malini was also forced. 

But now...this girl that he brought back home...this village girl who turned his whole life upside down... he needs to be angry with her. He needs to exercise that control. Because the only thing that's in his control now (or so he thinks) is how he feels towards Imlie. The logical part of his brain knows that Imlie is as much a victim to this marriage as he is...but he blocks that out of his mind. He sees her innocent antics but puts a stop to it immediately, constantly scolding her. Because he knows that if he doesn't, he'll inevitably fall in love with her. And he'd have to admit defeat against fate. So yes, his anger is his defense mechanism. Malini is his defense mechanism too. He married her because he wanted to distance himself from Imlie...try to prove to himself that he has moved on and that there's no relationship between him and Imlie. But he subconsciously knows that it's a lie...Imlie will always own a large part of his heart...and that was seen when he carried Imlie to the hospital when she was shot. He became frantic with worry...as if she was his only reason to live...he was behaving like a madman.... That is how he really feels about Imlie. 

It's love. He's in love with her and he'll do everything he needs to to fight against it.

Thank you! And I love your analysis here as well! So beautifully written👏....especially all the bits in bold....you've covered it very well! 

When the show isn't dragging like hell😆.....this very layering is what makes it so interesting to watch.....cuz all these layers very much exist but the day to day drag and lack of movement makes it listless sometimes. 

I hesitate to use the "L" word for Adi just yet😆....but yes, the FRANTIC quality of his worry and emotions for Imlie is a story unto itself......this guy is holding a storm within him when it comes to Imlie. 

As you very rightly pointed out, he feels she has turned his life upside down and removed any sense of his control over his own life. Everything he has done since PD has been an act of rebellion against the forces of destiny that have forced him towards Imlie. Yes, he had promised marriage to Malini before the turn of events in PD, but in many ways, his pursuit of wanting to marry Malini after that has been more about wanting to run away from fate than to run towards Malini. Malini is also a shield, just like this constant anger/scolding....all of these have been put in place by Adi to shield him from Imlie. 😆

On one level, it's hilarious to watch as well....this hatta katta aadmi so TERRIFIED of this chit of a girl and what she can do to his heart😆. He's taken it on as a challenge that he will defeat fate since fate DARED to challenge him and his sorted life😆. But it should be a clue enough for him that even MARRYING Malini didn't change his fate.....it still decreed that Imlie remain in his life. Ultimately, he is responsible for dragging Malini into this mess simply cuz he wanted to outrun fate and Imlie. 

So it remains hilarious that even after all this mehnat, ultimately he is still fighting a losing battle😆.....even after so much anger/scolding, intimidating of Imlie, her mere presence is enough for him to still be drawn to her, be concerned for her😆.  

If we want to call it love, it is a very different form of love.....Gashmeer mentioned in a recent interview that the things that Adi-Imlie have gone through together have created a bond that in many ways is even beyond love. It would be interesting if that thought is capitalized on by the writers whenever they decide to INCH the story forward😆.

Originally posted by: naadanmasakalli

Lovely post as usual  😊

I do feel it is more of a defense mechanism as you  said he really doesn't  know or wanna know what will happen if he will let lose his guard in ways he is afraid to even give it a try caz subconsciously he is somewhere aware of what she is capable of and that will make just survival difficult for him with him.having his feet in 2 boats.. it is easier this way caz if anything he will take cover of his anger and be like there was nothing anyway even knowing deep down  ke kuch toh tha that was more than just general concern and care and majboori of having her at his out of guilt and zimmedari.. all these are just excuses caz  imlie is the suraj over here who will get past the cloudy skies no matter what while his anger is more  representing that..yeh bhi kuch jadh take theek hi hai ke he has no other emotion left which is why  I guess even around moon he has to try hard to not explode all the time  the way they have been pre and post this has stark changes sure he still grovel coddles her and tries to flirt but none of that esp the flirting or being happy with her part comes across as genuine it all has a very glossed over feel very banawati pan despite his constant oh I am mad deeply in love  caz at this  point whatever they once had is also taken for granted as a way to get away from accepting and acknowledging thr very fact that imlie ka impact kid hadh tak ho chuka hai.. malini becomes the perfect  reason for him to continue with his denial ke sab theek hai jaisa bhi jo bhi hai kuch nahi badla but sab kuch badal gaya hai on so many levels for him the jabardasti and the truth of it has changed him as a person and ab he isn't  true to himself forget to anyone else.. which becomes another irritant.. the times when it hits him he appears so dead inside and haara hua in those moments the pain and guilt  just overtakes any other emotion.. 

And yes the other  thing being this gives him also a reason to use the age gap too so he feels the need ke isko daant dapat  karte raho toh she wouldn't  develop anything for him either  that way he isn't  just pushing his emotions back he is kinda taking co trol of hers too ke kahin yeh apne toh kar le control but imlie  ke na kar sake toh he never let's her feel anything for him ke kahin iski softness uske mann main kuch develop na kar de so he goes out of his way to remind her how she is thopi hui on him.jot his choice says the harshest  things to her to.oush her back to keep her "caged" in the sense that  all this will make her retract  into her nope i don't  want anything to do with this shaadi  but little does he know that this intelliwomaniya  can see through him as she herself told him ab iski daant main usse sirf aur sorf fikar dikhti hai.. she doesn't  feel that intimidated anymore caz she has accepted that as part of his personality since she isn't  aware much with how he was so she goes with yeh janam se hi aisa hai as shown in the mimicry part  .. if he uses that ghussa as a defense mechanism then she has accepted that ghussa as his affection towards her too his special way to treat and show his haq on her 

Thankoos🤗😆.....main link karna bhool gayi cuz I just made it on a whim😆

@bold: Both very nice points.....Yes, Malini is actually the perfect excuse in his life right now. He is so artificial around her but he doesn't feel any need to reflect on that because overall his life is chugging along as planned on that front....lol jab tak Malini saamne hai, yeh sochna nahin padega ki tum ab woh Adi nahin rahe😆....that is, until Malini herself points out the obvious about how he's changing😆.

This reminds me of the thought that also struck me again given the aftermath of this rain bike ride.....All of Malini's fussing towards him was like, "main saath hoti toh tumhein bheegne hi nahin deti".....while Imlie is always like, 'open yourself up to the elements and LIVE your life'.....Malini may be thinking she is 'protecting' Adi but she has in a sense held him back for many years.....while Imlie opens him up him towards life by soaking in its elements.....the rain is a metaphor for that. Malini knows Adi dislikes the rain so she helps him escape it.....while Imlie pushes him out of his comfort zone to experience what he's missing out on and she's the only one that succeeds with him😆.

Re: the age difference....yes, that is absolutely a notable element in their dynamic. He uses it to his advantage that she's very young and so he scolds her like a child to intimidate her.....and also, as you said, probably to put her off from himself😆....so that she doesn't entertain any teenage fantasies of love😆.....but iske saare efforts fail cuz he's dealing with a special namoona😆. Ab toh Imlie ko daant mein bhi fikar dikh gayi hai😆.....I won't say she doesn't get intimidated by him anymore....she does jump a bit when he scolds her even now....but ultimately her Imlie-ness prevails and she handles anything he throws her way.....lol. And yeh baat bhi hai that even if he thinks usko daant ke, daraa ke khud se door kar lega, agar woh kahin door chali jaati hai toh aajkal bechaini bhi ise hi hoti hai😆.....confused aatma. 

Originally posted by: wizardofoz2

Man i missed your posts so much. The  scenes from imlies mimicry down to the last one between adilie completely blew me away yesterday.  Adi is now forced to introspect in regards to all his bad behavior towards imlie from the start. Hopefully he now understands how lonely she has felt in a house full of people while he has been harping on how unfair circumstances have turned out for him. 

I don't think there is going to be that much introspection😆.....best to keep your expectations from Adi low only😆.....baaki drag bhi toh chalaana hai. 

Maybe the 100 epi mark will bring some shift....tab tak aise hi chalega dheere dheere. 

I hope they show more Imlie-Sundar scenes atleast....those are funny right now😆