Sarang and Alia both need therapy first

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Posted: 23 days ago

I’m a therapist so maybe I’m a little biased because I think basically everyone needs therapy but I think it’s pretty obvious that both Sarang and Alia have issues. 

Alia is a control freak. Her mom left suddenly, her dad never had time for her, and her husband cheated on her. None of those things she had control over so it makes sense she needs to maintain control in all areas of her life. Even before Veer’s infidelity was exposed she was trying to control her relationship with him as well. And now with this baby, she is trying to put all of her eggs in one basket (no pun intended) and I think it’s such a bad idea. She can’t replace the love she didn’t have growing up with the love she will pour into this child’s life. Alia will just be GIVING a lot but never really receiving anything. Yes the child will love her but it’s a child and we can’t really expect them to behave and express emotions clearly well into adult years. So I don’t want Alia to pour so much love that she thinks it will make up for the lack of care and attachment she received as a child. She is overcompensating to say the least. So I think she needs to deal with her childhood trauma first, understand how her thoughts and feelings are affecting her behaviors and actions. Right now she just has a tunnel vision of trying to get rid of Sarang and she’s not even seeing how wrong that is or is reminiscent of her own childhood but this time Sarang actually wants to be in the child’s life and Alia is not having it. These are issues that need to be resolved before she starts parenting or else the child will have unhealthy attachment with Alia. 
Now coming to Sarang. Sarang has never felt validated by his father. Sarang wants to do his own thing and his dad is a constant barrier. On top of that his father also treats the rest of the family like trash. And I would go a one step further and say that his relationship with his mother could also be unhealthy since she’s so overprotective of him. But I guess overprotective from mom and negligence from dad kinda cancels it out so I’ll let that be. All of this to say that Sarang has something to prove, to his father and to himself. Sarang is not his father. He wants to do everything in his power to be the father to his child that his own father was never to him. Using a child to fulfill what you did not get as a child is not the best approach to wanting to take the responsibility but it’s also “the right thing” to do. But just because its the right thing for Sarang to take responsibility of this child, should he? Is he going to prove to be a good dad just because he wants to be a different father than his own? 

I don’t know how to feel about Sarang and Alia using their children as a way to prove themselves that they’re not their parents. 
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that going through what they did, they have an insight into how children are affected with “bad” parents and they obviously don’t want to do that. What I wish for them is that they start working on resolving their own childhood trauma before they start a family. 
What do you guys think? 

Posted: 23 days ago

Exactly , when I start watching the show I realised this too. Having a bad childhood is making Alia tensed and putting lots of questions. She is not able to understand that twin needs both parents ... What she has gone through can't be mend but atleast she can listen to her mom part too . 

Posted: 23 days ago

Originally posted by music_l0ver036


I’m a therapist so maybe I’m a little biased because I think basically everyone needs therapy but I think it’s pretty obvious that both Sarang and Alia have issues. 
Hahhaha, I laughed harder than I should’ve.

Alia is a control freak. Her mom left suddenly, her dad never had time for her, and her husband cheated on her. None of those things she had control over so it makes sense she needs to maintain control in all areas of her life. Even before Veer’s infidelity was exposed she was trying to control her relationship with him as well. And now with this baby, she is trying to put all of her eggs in one basket (no pun intended) and I think it’s such a bad idea. She can’t replace the love she didn’t have growing up with the love she will pour into this child’s life. Alia will just be GIVING a lot but never really receiving anything. Yes the child will love her but it’s a child and we can’t really expect them to behave and express emotions clearly well into adult years. So I don’t want Alia to pour so much love that she thinks it will make up for the lack of care and attachment she received as a child. She is overcompensating to say the least. So I think she needs to deal with her childhood trauma first, understand how her thoughts and feelings are affecting her behaviors and actions. Right now she just has a tunnel vision of trying to get rid of Sarang and she’s not even seeing how wrong that is or is reminiscent of her own childhood but this time Sarang actually wants to be in the child’s life and Alia is not having it. These are issues that need to be resolved before she starts parenting or else the child will have unhealthy attachment with Alia. 
Now coming to Sarang. Sarang has never felt validated by his father. Sarang wants to do his own thing and his dad is a constant barrier. On top of that his father also treats the rest of the family like trash. And I would go a one step further and say that his relationship with his mother could also be unhealthy since she’s so overprotective of him. But I guess overprotective from mom and negligence from dad kinda cancels it out so I’ll let that be. All of this to say that Sarang has something to prove, to his father and to himself. Sarang is not his father. He wants to do everything in his power to be the father to his child that his own father was never to him. Using a child to fulfill what you did not get as a child is not the best approach to wanting to take the responsibility but it’s also “the right thing” to do. But just because its the right thing for Sarang to take responsibility of this child, should he? Is he going to prove to be a good dad just because he wants to be a different father than his own? 

I don’t know how to feel about Sarang and Alia using their children as a way to prove themselves that they’re not their parents. 
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad that going through what they did, they have an insight into how children are affected with “bad” parents and they obviously don’t want to do that. What I wish for them is that they start working on resolving their own childhood trauma before they start a family. 
What do you guys think? 
I completely agree with you. This popped into my mind whenever Alia talked to the baby in her womb. It’s great that she wants to be a good parent, but there’s a difference between being a good parent when you have kids, and having kids just to be a good parent. I sometimes doubt Alia’s motivations to have this child. She believes that she’ll give all the love in the world to this child, but she doesn’t realise she might not always get it back. Toddlers are expressive and very attached to their parents, but what about when her child is a teenager? They become very reserved and arrogant especially with their parents(saying this as a teenager myself), for no reason at all. Things are going to get really difficult for Alia at that time, as it might prompt her to say things like “I gave you everything I had, and you’re so ungrateful”. But that’s way into the future ig.

I don’t have many insights into Sarang’s mind, as I hadn’t seen the initial episodes with his family. I’m looking forward to the Mathura track, cause it’ll help me understand Sarang better. I do agree with you that much like Alia, he also wants to be the father ( in alia’s case mother)  he never had. It would be great if both of their traumas are semi resolved by the time the children are born. 


Posted: 22 days ago

Originally posted by Nutella03


 

I completely agree with you. This popped into my mind whenever Alia talked to the baby in her womb. It’s great that she wants to be a good parent, but there’s a difference between being a good parent when you have kids, and having kids just to be a good parent. I sometimes doubt Alia’s motivations to have this child. She believes that she’ll give all the love in the world to this child, but she doesn’t realise she might not always get it back. Toddlers are expressive and very attached to their parents, but what about when her child is a teenager? They become very reserved and arrogant especially with their parents(saying this as a teenager myself), for no reason at all. Things are going to get really difficult for Alia at that time, as it might prompt her to say things like “I gave you everything I had, and you’re so ungrateful”. But that’s way into the future ig.

I don’t have many insights into Sarang’s mind, as I hadn’t seen the initial episodes with his family. I’m looking forward to the Mathura track, cause it’ll help me understand Sarang better. I do agree with you that much like Alia, he also wants to be the father ( in alia’s case mother)  he never had. It would be great if both of their traumas are semi resolved by the time the children are born. 

yes to the highlighted part, exactly my point. Both sarang and alia just want to prove that they can be better parents their own parents and i don't know how that will affect the child. 

Yeah i am hoping that we can see Sarang's pain more openly during the track, both for the audience and Alia to better understand Sarang. 

Posted: 22 days ago

Originally posted by Ayu_12


Exactly , when I start watching the show I realised this too. Having a bad childhood is making Alia tensed and putting lots of questions. She is not able to understand that twin needs both parents ... What she has gone through can't be mend but atleast she can listen to her mom part too . 

i wouldn't say the children need both parents tbh.. if it's something Alia wants to do, she can. She obviously needs help but I'd rather her mend her relationship with her mom and gett her help instead of Sarang's. I only say this because the premise of the show is how women are empowered enough to make an independent decision so needing a man for a father role kind of defeats the point. I am not opposed to Sarang co-parenting if its executed well but I'd rather see Alia figure out her relationship with her own parents first. 

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