This is so messed up - Page 5

Alia has a kind of challenge to prove to her ex that she can be a great mom. She has to do this at the earliest ..she needs an eligible donor which Rahul has to find in 2 weeks with hammer on his head which ofcourse is not easy so after some attempts he opts for the easier way..tricking Saarang  into it and getting the project done. For Alia, saarang has no class no ettiquetes , is loud , can bully people and is a smalltown guy. She just cant imagine him to be his donor. What she doesnt realise that even polished men with prestigious foreign education can have  bad habits , be alcoholic or on drugs ( no offence to anyone ) and her baby can inherit the traits.

Alia has been betrayed by Rahul but what she did with saarang is uncalled for...I side with you that Saarang is the sufferer here. Alia tried her best to get him out but he is determined to stay and be closer to his child.

Its not easy to take care of a newborn child , now its going to be twins here.. they are going to drive her crazy. Already the pup that Rabia got her for a day gave her a hard time. She just cant do without saarang. He is going to have a big role in her life and she is going to realise his worth in these months.

Originally posted by: music_l0ver036

I agree that while people are defending Alia, they shouldn't unfairly judge Sarang. I can see both sides. Alia being involved in taking Sarang's signature without his consent was not her finest moment. However, I think she made this decision because she got scared that her plans may not go the way she wanted to. We all know that Alia likes to be in control. And I do agree that while she feels that she needs to take control of any situation, she shouldn't take other people's rights to make their own decisions. But either way, the paper won't hold up in court anyways since Sarang didnt know what he was signing away so I don't know why that was even a thing. Sarang just got a shit load of information thrown at him and Alia is rushing him to make a decision that she wants him to make so i really hope she backs off for a moment. It's a complicated situation and im super interested to see where we go from here. 

Alia took that signature because she was scared Sarang will claim right on her baby & take it away. 

The way Alia has handled this with sarang hasnt been good. she tried telling him off that she dosent want his interference in hers & babys life but he did not understand that. so she thought ok let me remind him how he was not ready to be a father & how he isnt financially capable of taking care of baby yet, hoping he would stay away from her child. but it dint work & now sarang has landed up at her house saying he will prove himself. Alia should have stuck to telling sarang that she dosent want interference, said sorry to him for the donor exchange which she dint know about. told him she took his sign by cheating as she was scared he would take the baby away & request him to not interfere & go to court even if he dint understand all this. .

According to me Alia is in a terrible situation rt now & sarang is putting her in it. some days later his parents will come to know. his father is a politician he might try to take the baby from her for his heir. his parents may not accept the co parenting they are doing and see them as married couple. she needlessly gets involved with a new set of family for no fault of hers. what if sarang asks that his child should spend some days with him as he is also a co parent, has Alia signed up for all that? its not easy to accept any stranger you have no connection with as your fathers child to co parent. 

Can we women here imaging being in alias place. you wait for an IVF pregnancy to happen for single motherhood. Your donor gets exchanged & the actual donor who is a colleague from ur office you know only since 3 months with whom you have no personal relationship with lands up at your house, starts speaking to your baby in the womb & declares that he is going to co parent the baby with you.  If this is not personal interference & harassment  then what is. Right now just because sarang alia is touted to be a romantic couple, we are finding this ok? sarang isnt even Alias friend right now. It is unfair on Alia to share the baby with him. Sarang just came to know he donated sperm & he is behaving this way. Alia whereas has been connected to the baby since 4 months imagine her situation here. 

Alia should just go to court & get the decicion in her favor. 

One thing no ones answered. if veer & alia were still together & alia had to go through IVF because of veers health issues would sarang still be claiming rights to co parenting the child

Originally posted by: music_l0ver036

oh no I don’t disagree with you at all. I understand where sarang is coming from just as much as Alia. There wouldn’t be a story to tell if Alia’s actions only impacted hers and no one else’s. Alia wouldn’t have a chance to learn from her mistakes if others don’t show her that she’s making a mistake. I simply think these are interesting choices Sarang and Alia are making and I’m looking forward to see how they change with each other’s behaviors. Eventually we will have a conversation between them and hopefully Alia apologizes to Sarang. I’m not ready to write off Alia already just because she’s behaving impulsively. Sarang is affected by her actions in a major way but mostly in part of because of someone else’s actions, aka Rahul. Hopefully Alia doesn’t keep using Rahul as an excuse to justify why she lied to Sarang after she found out the truth. 

What do you hope to happen between Alia and Sarang to make this situation easier? 

Alia cannot do anything except saying sorry to sarang & asking him to stay away from her & the baby. All this nonsense of her ill give you more money & you are not ready to be father she should not have even gone into. the fact is if sarang was well off in his career & had enough money would she have accepted his co parenting - NO . the fact is that she wats to be single mother & dosent see sarang as a companion to co parent her child.

 Its for Sarang to understand & move away from Alia & let her live her life. he can think he was just a donor & forget it. but here Alia cannot as she was the one who planned for this & is pregnant. I dont think its that unfair on sarang he isnt attached to the baby as much as Alia is. Sarang needs to understand he cannot be a father just by donating sperm. fatherhood is a long process he needs to be there for life for the child. And for that both Alia & him need to be companions & partners which they arent. in future he may have his own family & then how will he manage. 

And yes Allia can put all the blame on rahul in court. afterall it he who got the donors exchanged & got the sign from sarang

Originally posted by: -JC-

I don't think you are in disagreement with me. Being human only means that you don't expect a person to be perfect. Its not justifying mistakes but just brings a character down from a pedestal of always being perfect. 

As for Aliya's answer to her kid about the father...she has opted for IVF while being a single mother. Thats the choice she has made in her life so I would assume that she has an answer for what she would tell her kid when he/she asks about the father...because she is choosing to be a single mother whether the donor was Sarangdhar or someone else it didn't matter. The problem she is facing now is that the father had legally not consented to stay out of the kid's life. Its an unanticipated complication for her and she is dealing with it the way she knows how. 

As for hurting Sarangdhar...I don't see that it is her intension to insult or hurt Sarangdhar but to let him know that he is not the type of personality to be be a good father for her kid. I definitely assess the men I am dating to see if they will make good fathers for my children both in what values they will teach my kids and whether they will be able to support the family financially and emotionally. Its a fair criteria to assess.  

this is the point here. Alia dosent see sarang as a partner & companion to co parent her child with & with the kind of background sarang comes from, his father a politician & all, i wouldnt either. And sarang needs to understand that for co parenting he and alia should have that companionship & understanding. its just cant happen with anyone. here either he gives up the baby or he gives up. because this cannot continue for a lifetime. the baby will only get pulled in either directions. 

Originally posted by: naq5

Alia took that signature because she was scared Sarang will claim right on her baby & take it away. 

The way Alia has handled this with sarang hasnt been good. she tried telling him off that she dosent want his interference in hers & babys life but he did not understand that. so she thought ok let me remind him how he was not ready to be a father & how he isnt financially capable of taking care of baby yet, hoping he would stay away from her child. but it dint work & now sarang has landed up at her house saying he will prove himself. Alia should have stuck to telling sarang that she dosent want interference, said sorry to him for the donor exchange which she dint know about. told him she took his sign by cheating as she was scared he would take the baby away & request him to not interfere & go to court even if he dint understand all this. .

According to me Alia is in a terrible situation rt now & sarang is putting her in it. some days later his parents will come to know. his father is a politician he might try to take the baby from her for his heir. his parents may not accept the co parenting they are doing and see them as married couple. she needlessly gets involved with a new set of family for no fault of hers. what if sarang asks that his child should spend some days with him as he is also a co parent, has Alia signed up for all that? its not easy to accept any stranger you have no connection with as your fathers child to co parent. 

Can we women here imaging being in alias place. you wait for an IVF pregnancy to happen for single motherhood. Your donor gets exchanged & the actual donor who is a colleague from ur office you know only since 3 months with whom you have no personal relationship with lands up at your house, starts speaking to your baby in the womb & declares that he is going to co parent the baby with you.  If this is not personal interference & harassment  then what is. Right now just because sarang alia is touted to be a romantic couple, we are finding this ok? sarang isnt even Alias friend right now. It is unfair on Alia to share the baby with him. Sarang just came to know he donated sperm & he is behaving this way. Alia whereas has been connected to the baby since 4 months imagine her situation here. 

Alia should just go to court & get the decicion in her favor. 

One thing no ones answered. if veer & alia were still together & alia had to go through IVF because of veers health issues would sarang still be claiming rights to co parenting the child

Alia is in a terrible situation but so is sarangdhar and people fail to acknowledge that. If this was not her plan, it was not in sarangdhar's plan either. Sarangdhar accepted the situation and is working with it while alia is running from the situation and still wants to stick to what she planned. Those are her insecurities and control issues at play. If sarangdhar is a stranger, she can get to know him more by having an open communication without any preconceived notions about him. Sarangdhar did not put her in this situation, life did. People need to stop blaming sarangdhar for this. He didn't consent to this and he would have never donated if he knew a child will come in the picture as he can't imagine not being in his child's life like that. What she wants is important but now a baby is in the picture so what is good for the baby now and in a long run takes priority over her wishes and plans. In a situation like this alia can call the shots but she has to be fair too. alia is not OK with coparenting, that is alright but she still has to find a middle ground with sarangdhar as it is unfair at this point to make decisions for him. why is sarangdhar suppose to suppress what he feels and wishes but it is alright for alia to impose her wishes on him? Respect is earned. if she didnt respect his autonomy on this matter and made decisions for him, how do you expect sarangdhar to say yes maam and move on considering just like alia he has his set of issues and backstory that is motivating him to be in this baby's life. I am not saying sarangdhar's way was right but if I am going to understand alia's side then I have to do the same for sarangdhar. He did what he did because alia brought him to that point. Did she have an honest conversation with him when she found out? She went behind his back, manipulated and abused his trust and got his signature on the paper. Is this the example she is setting for her child? When situation gets bad and things don't go your way, cross any line. When alia compared sarangdhar to veer, that was brutal. Her giving him a check to get rid of him was just mind boggling. I am saying all this because i know they are going to be a couple. even in real life, if something like this happens, respecting wishes is a two way street. just because you planned something a certain doesnt mean it has to be executed in the same manner even if circumstances changes everything. even in real life, in a situation like this, both parties will have to find a middle ground. it cant be my way or highway. if alia goes to court, what she did with sarangdhar can go against her as character representation also matters in court. so instead of being an adult and accept the cards life dealt her and working with them, if alia wants to go to court and make it more messy that is on her. at that point i can easily say she made a complicated and difficult situation an impossible one. Life doesnt care about our plans and it is unfair in general so instead of lamenting about it all we can do is work with it. At that point, what we have to change plans or find a way to modify them. being that rigid will make one lose out on opportunities, people and relationships. 

so far the hypothetical question about veer goes, it depends. There are a lot of variables that would need to be considered. Yes, I am pretty sure even if veer was there, sarangdhar would deserve to know his child in this type of situation. If a mother has a right on the child, so does the father. it also depends on what type of person veer is in that situation. 

Edited by john909 - 3 years ago

Originally posted by: naq5

Alia cannot do anything except saying sorry to sarang & asking him to stay away from her & the baby. All this nonsense of her ill give you more money & you are not ready to be father she should not have even gone into. the fact is if sarang was well off in his career & had enough money would she have accepted his co parenting - NO . the fact is that she wats to be single mother & dosent see sarang as a companion to co parent her child.

 Its for Sarang to understand & move away from Alia & let her live her life. he can think he was just a donor & forget it. but here Alia cannot as she was the one who planned for this & is pregnant. I dont think its that unfair on sarang he isnt attached to the baby as much as Alia is. Sarang needs to understand he cannot be a father just by donating sperm. fatherhood is a long process he needs to be there for life for the child. And for that both Alia & him need to be companions & partners which they arent. in future he may have his own family & then how will he manage. 

And yes Allia can put all the blame on rahul in court. afterall it he who got the donors exchanged & got the sign from sarang

Just saying sorry is not enough for alia. she needs to reflect and see how she can work with the situation and also address her own issues. I wonder if everyone would be so chill if it was sarangdhar who manipulated and took signatures from alia for something like this and started imposing his decisions like alia is doing.

Her wishes matter but so does sarangdhar's that is what i have been trying to say since i made this topic. Her imposing her wishes like that on sarangdhar, how is that fair on him? why is it only sarangdhar who is suppose to understand and move away but it is ok for alia not even try to find a middle ground with him. Her plans were ok till she was the only one getting affected. she doesn't have any right to decide what sarangdhar should feel or do (she already did that but not again). regardless of what sarangdhar feels emotionally, just because he was not a part of alia's plan, he should just let go of his feelings and wishes just because alia wants that? just because sarangdhar didnt plan for this baby doesnt mean he is not attached. Sometimes, it takes a moment of fall in love  and that is what happened to sarangdhar. true, he cant become father just by donating a sperm but that is the start of the process and he is asking a chance to be a part of the baby's life. you cant argue from both sides. co-parenting doesnt mean they have to marry. there are people who co-parent even with their respective families.  that is like saying if alia gets married, she is going to forget her babies. alia cant put whole blame on rahul. she is the one who pushed him to get those signatures. he is her employee, i agree he broke her trust and he shouldnt have done but she literally made him choose between his job and getting signatures so that is on her. rahul is to blame for the first part but the second part is solely on alia. Also blaming everything on rahul in court to save herself is immoral. I wonder what kind of example that would be for her babies considering being a mother doesnt just mean giving birth, the most crucial part is giving good values. just because she is in a bad situation, it doesnt excuse her from her mistakes. because all mistakes, intentional or unintentional, have consequences and intentions matter but so do consequences. 

Edited by john909 - 3 years ago

Originally posted by: -sakshi-

Alia has a kind of challenge to prove to her ex that she can be a great mom. She has to do this at the earliest ..she needs an eligible donor which Rahul has to find in 2 weeks with hammer on his head which ofcourse is not easy so after some attempts he opts for the easier way..tricking Saarang  into it and getting the project done. For Alia, saarang has no class no ettiquetes , is loud , can bully people and is a smalltown guy. She just cant imagine him to be his donor. What she doesnt realise that even polished men with prestigious foreign education can have  bad habits , be alcoholic or on drugs ( no offence to anyone ) and her baby can inherit the traits.

Alia has been betrayed by Rahul but what she did with saarang is uncalled for...I side with you that Saarang is the sufferer here. Alia tried her best to get him out but he is determined to stay and be closer to his child.

Its not easy to take care of a newborn child , now its going to be twins here.. they are going to drive her crazy. Already the pup that Rabia got her for a day gave her a hard time. She just cant do without saarang. He is going to have a big role in her life and she is going to realise his worth in these months.

I agree with almost everything. I slightly disagree with last paragraph. She definitely is capable of looking after her babies by herself but as a working mother, she will need a nanny after she resumes work post her maternity leave. my point is she can do this without sarangdhar but she doesnt need to insult him and be fair with him. we all know that he will have a big role in her life as the story moves but she could have done it alone even if sarangdhar was not involved in this mess. 

Originally posted by: john909

I agree with almost everything. I slightly disagree with last paragraph. She definitely is capable of looking after her babies by herself but as a working mother, she will need a nanny after she resumes work post her maternity leave. my point is she can do this without sarangdhar but she doesnt need to insult him and be fair with him. we all know that he will have a big role in her life as the story moves but she could have done it alone even if sarangdhar was not involved in this mess. 

Alia can have nanny to look after the baby but she needs a motherly figure to take care of her during pregnancy as well as afterwards..why do i feel her mom is coming back maybe i am imagining too much. Saarang will learn baby care from his mom and will interfere which  Alia isnt going to like..its going to be messy .

Being a successful business woman is somewhat easier than becoming a good mom 

Originally posted by: john909

Just saying sorry is not enough for alia. she needs to reflect and see how she can work with the situation and also address her own issues. I wonder if everyone would be so chill if it was sarangdhar who manipulated and took signatures from alia for something like this and started imposing his decisions like alia is doing.

Her wishes matter but so does sarangdhar's that is what i have been trying to say since i made this topic. Her imposing her wishes like that on sarangdhar, how is that fair on him? why is it only sarangdhar who is suppose to understand and move away but it is ok for alia not even try to find a middle ground with him. Her plans were ok till she was the only one getting affected. she doesn't have any right to decide what sarangdhar should feel or do (she already did that but not again). regardless of what sarangdhar feels emotionally, just because he was not a part of alia's plan, he should just let go of his feelings and wishes just because alia wants that? just because sarangdhar didnt plan for this baby doesnt mean he is not attached. Sometimes, it takes a moment of fall in love  and that is what happened to sarangdhar. true, he cant become father just by donating a sperm but that is the start of the process and he is asking a chance to be a part of the baby's life. you cant argue from both sides. co-parenting doesnt mean they have to marry. there are people who co-parent even with their respective families.  that is like saying if alia gets married, she is going to forget her babies. alia cant put whole blame on rahul. she is the one who pushed him to get those signatures. he is her employee, i agree he broke her trust and he shouldnt have done but she literally made him choose between his job and getting signatures so that is on her. rahul is to blame for the first part but the second part is solely on alia. Also blaming everything on rahul in court to save herself is immoral. I wonder what kind of example that would be for her babies considering being a mother doesnt just mean giving birth, the most crucial part is giving good values. just because she is in a bad situation, it doesnt excuse her from her mistakes. because all mistakes, intentional or unintentional, have consequences and intentions matter but so do consequences. 

It's very unfair to judge Alia based on hypotheticals. Anything court related hasn't even happened so calling her immoral based on what could happen is not the best idea imo. Yes giving good values is incredibly important, however, parents are never perfect. There are tons of values and beliefs that my parents have that I do not and would never want because I don't agree with them. But that doesn't make my parents bad parents. Yes obviously when we're little we're looking at our parents to teach us good values, however, when the time comes, kids grow differentiating between what was good and what was bad. Just like Alia and Sarang know what their parents did wrong and are straying away from the values that wasn't good. Alia wants her kids to have a better childhood than she did but that doesn't mean she's not capable of making mistakes and doing dumb stuff every now and then. But labeling Alia as immoral or a bad parent because she's making mistakes especially as a new parent is very unfair. 

Yes mistakes have consequences but we never learn or know better if we don't make mistakes. Alia is not perfect, she has room to grow just as much as Sarang or other characters. My hope is that this will make Alia realize that not everyone sees the world as she does and makes her reflect on it. 

And Alia is telling Sarang he's not fit to be a dad based on the qualities she wants in her baby's donor, not even a partner she's choosing for herself. So if he wasn't even in the list of her donor then how can he be close to being a co-parent. The one that she did choose to be her partner betrayed her so obviously she's going to be super careful in who she believes is the right choice for a co-parent now. 

Originally posted by: music_l0ver036

It's very unfair to judge Alia based on hypotheticals. Anything court related hasn't even happened so calling her immoral based on what could happen is not the best idea imo. Yes giving good values is incredibly important, however, parents are never perfect. There are tons of values and beliefs that my parents have that I do not and would never want because I don't agree with them. But that doesn't make my parents bad parents. Yes obviously when we're little we're looking at our parents to teach us good values, however, when the time comes, kids grow differentiating between what was good and what was bad. Just like Alia and Sarang know what their parents did wrong and are straying away from the values that wasn't good. Alia wants her kids to have a better childhood than she did but that doesn't mean she's not capable of making mistakes and doing dumb stuff every now and then. But labeling Alia as immoral or a bad parent because she's making mistakes especially as a new parent is very unfair. 

If the situation was hypothetical and so was my answer for it. Calling alia immoral was only for a situation where she would blame everything on Rahul in court to save herself. You need to read the other person's post properly. She put a hypothetical situation and i answered by staying within that situation. It doesn't apply to real scenario. Parents are not perfect but they give their best efforts and they try to teach their kids by example by putting on their best behavior. Mistakes are ok but what she did cannot be categorized as dumb stuff or cannot be taken lightly. In this forum, people are either ignoring it or taking it way too lightly. 

Yes mistakes have consequences but we never learn or know better if we don't make mistakes. Alia is not perfect, she has room to grow just as much as Sarang or other characters. My hope is that this will make Alia realize that not everyone sees the world as she does and makes her reflect on it. 

That doesn't mean people should stop trying their best to not make mistakes. Mistakes are a part of learning but here she didn't care or even acknowledge it as a mistake or something unjust. She is in "the end justifies the means" mode right now. Yes, motherhood and her journey with sarangdhar for this 9 months will change her outlook and hopefully she becomes less sclerotic and learn to accept whatever life throws at her.

And Alia is telling Sarang he's not fit to be a dad based on the qualities she wants in her baby's donor, not even a partner she's choosing for herself. So if he wasn't even in the list of her donor then how can he be close to being a co-parent. The one that she did choose to be her partner betrayed her so obviously she's going to be super careful in who she believes is the right choice for a co-parent 

She made that list of qualities and even found a guy with them. He fit her list but what happened in the end? He bailed on her so how does it make that list perfect or good enough to decide whether sarangdhar is good enough to be a dad. That guy had a good reason to bail on her but regardless of that, he bailed on her. Also her journey during that time period to find a donor also shows that she can plan to do her best but she can't make it perfect which is why she is rejecting sarangdhar as he doesn't fit in her definition. She has to learn to be open to new things and also that what she wants will not necessarily always be what she needs.