This is so messed up - Page 3

Originally posted by: john909

So far what I have been reading in comments is in favor of alia but I wonder if the situation was reversed, would everyone be saying the same things. Alia took a decision for her babies and that is alright but she had a conversation with sarangdhar last week, she basically told him how he feels and too based on her half baked knowledge about sarangdhar.  If she doesn't like it when people do that to her, how does she expect sarangdhar to be ok with it? First she said she understands that money is not everything but that was key point because of which she considers him an unfit father. So I am not sure what she meant by saying she understands. She is a planner but when did life ever work according to plans? That is what happened here and instead of accepting that she gave a check to sarangdhar to get rid of him. As I asked before, if it was sarangdhar giving alia a check like that, would you be saying the same thing? She hurt his self-respect because she was feeling insecure. Today whatever sarangdhar is doing is not completely right but what choice has alia left him with. She doesn't want him in her life but how can she decide whether sarangdhar should want to be in their babies life or not? She could have made an arrangement of sorts with him as a way to tone down the situation but here she is in a my way or highway mode. They both were cheated and sarangdhar who never wanted a baby is changing and want to prove himself for the babies so why doesn't he have the right to choose considering he didn't donate or sign with intention of being okay with a baby of his own and not knowing him/her. Alia got cheated by Rahul so she felt it was ok to cheat sarangdhar? Is she setting a good example for her babies? Just becoming a mother is not enough. Setting a good example and giving values is also a major part of the process. I never had any issues with her when she was planning to do it alone and both sides were consenting but that is not the case anymore. Situation has changed.

let's not use the "if it was reversed" card because it's pointless talking about hypotheticals when the reality is different. Maybe the discussions would b different if it was reversed but we will never know that soo lets focus on what actually happened. Yes she is a planner and she values honesty. However, her plans are not going the way she wants to. In any other case, Alia has proven to take timee to herself and shake it off and move on, case in point being her relationship with Veer. But this situation is different because this is a baby. She got scared and she made a mistake by taking Sarang's signature by fraud. It's not the right decision but a decision but a decision that is relatable because when we fear of what is at stake we make dumb decisions. 

In terms of money and taking care of the child, no money cannot buy happiness, but it helps A LOT. Alia doesn't want to think twice about spending money on her child. Money makes things super weird between people, you don't want to ask people for money, you feel weirdly obligated to people if you spend their money so this was the emphasis on her point. 

Just because Sarang wants to completely change his life around to care for the baby, it doesn't mean Alia must accept his offer and co-parent with him. 

Alia had thought of a different life with the baby so when that is threatened, of course she will do everything in her power to protect it. Situation has definitely changed but both people need time to see the situations objectively but neither of them have as of yet. We just gotta wait and see what happens next. 

Originally posted by: naq5

@ bold. is he doing a favor here. Alia dosent need someone to take responsibility. 

kind guy?  what does he do after knowing that it wasnt Alias fault either that he became donor of a sperm. comes to claim his rights on the child. Barges into Alias house in her personal space and declares that the baby is his. Im sorry but this is plain harassment. You are being forced to accept someone as partner /as father to ur baby someone whom you dont even know properly, when you planned to be a single mother. Alia is really stuck here. i think she should just take the decicion of going to court and get the decicion in her favor.  Or fold her hands in front of Sarang or fall at his feet and request him not to claim right on her baby as she has been waiting to be a mother since long & now she cannot share the baby with an almost stranger and get into a partnership with him to bring up her baby. i sure as Sarang is kind he would heed to her request and not interfere in her life. what can a mother do in this case. she cannot just give up her baby or let an unknown man whom she is not connected to enter into her private space. pregnancy is a personal thing. you cannot just let any man enter into that phase of yours and sarang is doing exactly that. 

@bold2 so does Sarang think Alia is supposed to pretend that she wont have rights on her baby anymore or will have to share the rights of her baby with someone unknown to her. will he ask her to forcibly marry him now. how does Sarang plan to take responsibility of child. does he plan to stick with Alia for life without her consent. 

The point of me saying it was a noble choice was because nobody asked but he is still willing to do it. Doesn't make him right but doesnt make him completely wrong either. Sarang was unaware of his role in this pregnancy so when he does become aware, is he not allowed a moment of introspection? Is he not allowed to think what this means for his future, what he can contribute to a situation that neither of them wanted to be in? He's allowed to at least think things through without alia thinking for him. 

Originally posted by: Dangelz

@ The topic maker - First of all, I would like to thank you for FINALLY bringing up such crucial points about this show! 

I am normally a silent reader of this forum, but I cannot HELP but rant about how Sarang and Alia's whole confrontation was left in bad taste. Initially when the whole IVF mishap happened, I was quite disappointed at Rahul as I was growing fond of his character...UNTIL he decided to pull all sorts of strings and make sketchy decisions about changing donors and keeping BOTH Alia and Sarang in the dark about everything. 

Ever since last week's episode where Sarang-Alia's face off happens and Sarang is aware of everything...I have been quite disturbed of the handling of the situation and characters! First of all, I have been reading all the comments and posts in this discussion and I guess I am not that surprised that many are siding in Alia's favour. What I am surprised about is how people are UNFAIRLY pinpointing things on Sarang! In this situation, Sarang is the poor guy who has been cheated, exploited and manipulated! He only came to Mumbai to fulfill his dreams of becoming a writer and prove his worth to his father...and now due to these circumstances he has landed himself into a situation that he never wanted or expected for that matter! In reality, Sarang can take strict legal action against Rahul and Alia both because technically he WAS manipulated and exploited because he did not have any knowledge or consent in this matter! 

Now coming to Alia's character, I have always admired her character for the kind of work ethics, principles and discipline she lives by. Despite her strict and introvert nature, I was able to connect to some parts of her personality under that exterior. I have also been understanding of her flaws and shortcomings because of her past and the constant inner battles and turmoil she still deals with even today. I can even understand her insecurities, and how she has pinned her hopes on having a baby that would give her that sense of love and security that she's always craved for. BUT I think what everyone is forgetting and throwing out the window is that she cannot have the liberty to cross certain lines and do everything in the name of her baby and her desire for motherhood. The way she was speaking to Sarang in the baby shop actually left a bad light on her character. I know that she also has been cheated and left in the dark, and she was not prepared to accept Sarang as her baby's donor...which was done due to Rahul's mishap! Up till that point, I still understood her feelings and that she accepted everything eventually because the baby mattered for her a lot...but the minute when she wants to get Sarang to sign on forms to keep him away from claiming rights, WITHOUT letting him know is what ticked me off. She was fully aware of what she was doing and she basically ended up getting what she wanted...but what about Sarang? What has he done to DESERVE any of this? In fact, he's in a complete lose-lose situation! When Alia was telling him in the baby shop that is this what you will teach a baby, how to yell and scream and scene-create in public...I just wished Sarang could have yelled back at her and say, is this what you want your baby to learn from you? How to deceive people and manipulate them WITHOUT their consent or knowledge?? Sarang had every right to be upset with the whole situation and react in that manner...in fact I would say he was still able to control himself without going overboard! YET Alia ended up comparing him to Veer, like really?? 

I don't know about others, but my heart went out for Sarang in this whole scenario! Poor guy had no clue what was happening, and all of a sudden the news of his sperm donation and how his own boss who he greatly admired, respected and  looked up to as a role model had pretty much manipulated him and has taken away his basic rights and made him a fool! Any one in Sarang's place would have reacted in that manner and in fact, I still feel he did not even blow up the way a person might have blown up if this situation took place in reality! 

I completely understand that Alia does not want Sarang to interfere or be part of her or her baby's life and she's tried her methods to make sure of that. That is completely her choice and decision, BUT I am not sure if she realizes that making Sarang sign papers so he cannot claim the baby...was an act of total manipulation and exploitation because she made a decision on his behalf and took away his rights for a simple thing like CONSENT! 

I know some people have already mentioned this in some earlier comments that if the tables were turned in this situation...I am sure that Sarang would not be spared and would be labelled as ALL sorts of horrible things. The way some people are labelling his current behaviour as harassment and interference is unfair. If people are able to understand and empathize with Alia's perspective and situation then I think people should empathize with Sarang's situation equally because he didn't decide any of this and yet based on his upbringing and his morals/values he wants to take the responsibility for his child. Yes, he should respect boundaries that Alia has set for herself and needs to understand that Alia wants to bring up this child on her own. Alia should realize that consent needs to be coming from both ends and she needs to have a proper talk with Sarang to set things straight. It's already a super awkward situation for both of them anyway. 

I agree that while people are defending Alia, they shouldn't unfairly judge Sarang. I can see both sides. Alia being involved in taking Sarang's signature without his consent was not her finest moment. However, I think she made this decision because she got scared that her plans may not go the way she wanted to. We all know that Alia likes to be in control. And I do agree that while she feels that she needs to take control of any situation, she shouldn't take other people's rights to make their own decisions. But either way, the paper won't hold up in court anyways since Sarang didnt know what he was signing away so I don't know why that was even a thing. Sarang just got a shit load of information thrown at him and Alia is rushing him to make a decision that she wants him to make so i really hope she backs off for a moment. It's a complicated situation and im super interested to see where we go from here. 

Originally posted by: music_l0ver036

let's not use the "if it was reversed" card because it's pointless talking about hypotheticals when the reality is different. Maybe the discussions would b different if it was reversed but we will never know that soo lets focus on what actually happened. Yes she is a planner and she values honesty. However, her plans are not going the way she wants to. In any other case, Alia has proven to take timee to herself and shake it off and move on, case in point being her relationship with Veer. But this situation is different because this is a baby. She got scared and she made a mistake by taking Sarang's signature by fraud. It's not the right decision but a decision but a decision that is relatable because when we fear of what is at stake we make dumb decisions. 

why is it pointless when it clearly applies here? as I said before, her being scared and making decisions doesn't make it alright. my point is people are excusing her here and not even acknowledging how wrong that was.  I used the hypothetical to show that if it was Sarang doing this, there would have been a havoc in this forum as that is something we see in real life too where a guy dupes a woman and manipulates her to get what he wants.  I am not going to excuse her just because she is pregnant. She even compared sarangdhar to veer. There two types of mistakes, intentional and unintentional. unintentional mistakes can be excused sometimes (but even they have consequences and they hurt people) but what she did was intentional. she manipulated and used someone's trust and took away their rights to consent. 

In terms of money and taking care of the child, no money cannot buy happiness, but it helps A LOT. Alia doesn't want to think twice about spending money on her child. Money makes things super weird between people, you don't want to ask people for money, you feel weirdly obligated to people if you spend their money so this was the emphasis on her point. 

No that wasn't her point. she brought out the point about money to emphasize why he is not fit or ready to be a father.  she gave him a check to get rid of him. what more do you need to see that she hurt his self-respect and she is not willing to deal with the current situation and find a middle ground with sarangdhar. my way or highway doesnt always work. men or women, both have to change, evolve and accept whatever cards life gives them. plans don't always succeed. one can plan to keep organization in one's life but expecting that it will always work makes one sclerotic and they can lose out on opportunities, people, relationships etc. Because they refuse to accept reality, run from it instead of facing it and finding a solution. that is what alia is doing right now. 

Just because Sarang wants to completely change his life around to care for the baby, it doesn't mean Alia must accept his offer and co-parent with him. 

Alia had thought of a different life with the baby so when that is threatened, of course she will do everything in her power to protect it. Situation has definitely changed but both people need time to see the situations objectively but neither of them have as of yet. We just gotta wait and see what happens next. 

nobody is telling her to accept here and now the new changes but she is pushing sarangdhar to do exactly that. sarangdhar even did that considered he didnt even want a baby and now he wants to be a part of that baby's life as that is the card life has dealt him. Alia can take her time and if not coparent atleast let sarangdhar be a part of their baby's life. so far whatever sarangdhar has done is mild compared to what could have happened if a person like veer was involved. alia would have been sued by now and that document she got signed even though it will become void, it would go against her in court as she violated sarang's rights and that would against her character representation in court. i am not saying sarangdhar did a favor but he is trying to work with the messed up situation instead of going around placing blame on alia or rahul or hospital. That is what i am expecting from alia too, to face the reality, start working with it instead of against it and find a solution and stop attacking, manipulating or insulting sarangdhar.

Originally posted by: Dangelz

@ The topic maker - First of all, I would like to thank you for FINALLY bringing up such crucial points about this show! 

I am normally a silent reader of this forum, but I cannot HELP but rant about how Sarang and Alia's whole confrontation was left in bad taste. Initially when the whole IVF mishap happened, I was quite disappointed at Rahul as I was growing fond of his character...UNTIL he decided to pull all sorts of strings and make sketchy decisions about changing donors and keeping BOTH Alia and Sarang in the dark about everything. 

Ever since last week's episode where Sarang-Alia's face off happens and Sarang is aware of everything...I have been quite disturbed of the handling of the situation and characters! First of all, I have been reading all the comments and posts in this discussion and I guess I am not that surprised that many are siding in Alia's favour. What I am surprised about is how people are UNFAIRLY pinpointing things on Sarang! In this situation, Sarang is the poor guy who has been cheated, exploited and manipulated! He only came to Mumbai to fulfill his dreams of becoming a writer and prove his worth to his father...and now due to these circumstances he has landed himself into a situation that he never wanted or expected for that matter! In reality, Sarang can take strict legal action against Rahul and Alia both because technically he WAS manipulated and exploited because he did not have any knowledge or consent in this matter! 

Now coming to Alia's character, I have always admired her character for the kind of work ethics, principles and discipline she lives by. Despite her strict and introvert nature, I was able to connect to some parts of her personality under that exterior. I have also been understanding of her flaws and shortcomings because of her past and the constant inner battles and turmoil she still deals with even today. I can even understand her insecurities, and how she has pinned her hopes on having a baby that would give her that sense of love and security that she's always craved for. BUT I think what everyone is forgetting and throwing out the window is that she cannot have the liberty to cross certain lines and do everything in the name of her baby and her desire for motherhood. The way she was speaking to Sarang in the baby shop actually left a bad light on her character. I know that she also has been cheated and left in the dark, and she was not prepared to accept Sarang as her baby's donor...which was done due to Rahul's mishap! Up till that point, I still understood her feelings and that she accepted everything eventually because the baby mattered for her a lot...but the minute when she wants to get Sarang to sign on forms to keep him away from claiming rights, WITHOUT letting him know is what ticked me off. She was fully aware of what she was doing and she basically ended up getting what she wanted...but what about Sarang? What has he done to DESERVE any of this? In fact, he's in a complete lose-lose situation! When Alia was telling him in the baby shop that is this what you will teach a baby, how to yell and scream and scene-create in public...I just wished Sarang could have yelled back at her and say, is this what you want your baby to learn from you? How to deceive people and manipulate them WITHOUT their consent or knowledge?? Sarang had every right to be upset with the whole situation and react in that manner...in fact I would say he was still able to control himself without going overboard! YET Alia ended up comparing him to Veer, like really?? 

I don't know about others, but my heart went out for Sarang in this whole scenario! Poor guy had no clue what was happening, and all of a sudden the news of his sperm donation and how his own boss who he greatly admired, respected and  looked up to as a role model had pretty much manipulated him and has taken away his basic rights and made him a fool! Any one in Sarang's place would have reacted in that manner and in fact, I still feel he did not even blow up the way a person might have blown up if this situation took place in reality! 

I completely understand that Alia does not want Sarang to interfere or be part of her or her baby's life and she's tried her methods to make sure of that. That is completely her choice and decision, BUT I am not sure if she realizes that making Sarang sign papers so he cannot claim the baby...was an act of total manipulation and exploitation because she made a decision on his behalf and took away his rights for a simple thing like CONSENT! 

I know some people have already mentioned this in some earlier comments that if the tables were turned in this situation...I am sure that Sarang would not be spared and would be labelled as ALL sorts of horrible things. The way some people are labelling his current behaviour as harassment and interference is unfair. If people are able to understand and empathize with Alia's perspective and situation then I think people should empathize with Sarang's situation equally because he didn't decide any of this and yet based on his upbringing and his morals/values he wants to take the responsibility for his child. Yes, he should respect boundaries that Alia has set for herself and needs to understand that Alia wants to bring up this child on her own. Alia should realize that consent needs to be coming from both ends and she needs to have a proper talk with Sarang to set things straight. It's already a super awkward situation for both of them anyway. 

I think you articulated it better than I did. so thanks for that. But i agree with your points too. Thanks for commenting.

Originally posted by: music_l0ver036

I agree that while people are defending Alia, they shouldn't unfairly judge Sarang. I can see both sides. Alia being involved in taking Sarang's signature without his consent was not her finest moment. However, I think she made this decision because she got scared that her plans may not go the way she wanted to. We all know that Alia likes to be in control. And I do agree that while she feels that she needs to take control of any situation, she shouldn't take other people's rights to make their own decisions. But either way, the paper won't hold up in court anyways since Sarang didnt know what he was signing away so I don't know why that was even a thing. Sarang just got a shit load of information thrown at him and Alia is rushing him to make a decision that she wants him to make so i really hope she backs off for a moment. It's a complicated situation and im super interested to see where we go from here. 

I don't have a problem with people defending Alia and her character, but I do have a problem if her wrong choices and decisions are being masked and defended using all sorts of justification. The point of the matter is, if someone has made the wrong choice or in this case has manipulated the situation...it should be seen exactly as that, doesn't matter whether Alia, Rahul, Sarang or whoever else has done it. 

I can very well understand the intentions behind Alia's decision as you have explained in your reply and how her insecurities got the better of her...but it still does not really justify her act because Sarang is suffering for those consequences. I am hoping that she realizes this later on. Yes, I can understand Alia's need for control and how she strives to get things done her way which is part of her nature. I am not blaming her for her personality, but when she is involving someone else's life decisions into hers, and she dismisses and disregards Sarang's consent, rights and feelings as an individual...then she is clearly crossing a limit. 

Yes that's true that the papers will not be validated in court because Sarang was unaware of what he was signing. I think that is where my problem lies since Sarang has not been given any choices or time to make any sort of decision from his end when he fully has that right to. On one end, Alia needs to realize that she cannot treat her IVF decisions and journey as one of her usual business projects where she can control things her way. On the other hand, Sarang should not take some rash decision of taking responsibility and being Alia's support without her consent. Both just really need to have time for things to sink in...and then have a proper discussion on how to deal with the IVF situation. Although I don't have such high hopes at the moment of how this will be handled...

Originally posted by: music_l0ver036

i think it would be best if we don't bring any preconceived ideas about how the channel treated the shows in the past to a different show. It seems you have not had a good experience with watching Sony shows and that really sucks but lets not add negativity for people who are genuinely excited to keep watching and are interested in how characters develop. 

What the other person is saying is absolutely right and lets be realistic here last weeks trp is 0.3 we are the lowest on the channel really don't see this lasting long. I have been watching Sony TV since long and know how quick they can get rid of shows.

So far with this show they haven't dragged the story and should continue this speed if we don't want a super rushed ending.

This isn't meant to spread negativity but it's the sad truth. 

Edited by Aslesha99 - 3 years ago

Originally posted by: Dangelz

I don't have a problem with people defending Alia and her character, but I do have a problem if her wrong choices and decisions are being masked and defended using all sorts of justification. The point of the matter is, if someone has made the wrong choice or in this case has manipulated the situation...it should be seen exactly as that, doesn't matter whether Alia, Rahul, Sarang or whoever else has done it. 

I can very well understand the intentions behind Alia's decision as you have explained in your reply and how her insecurities got the better of her...but it still does not really justify her act because Sarang is suffering for those consequences. I am hoping that she realizes this later on. Yes, I can understand Alia's need for control and how she strives to get things done her way which is part of her nature. I am not blaming her for her personality, but when she is involving someone else's life decisions into hers, and she dismisses and disregards Sarang's consent, rights and feelings as an individual...then she is clearly crossing a limit. 

Yes that's true that the papers will not be validated in court because Sarang was unaware of what he was signing. I think that is where my problem lies since Sarang has not been given any choices or time to make any sort of decision from his end when he fully has that right to. On one end, Alia needs to realize that she cannot treat her IVF decisions and journey as one of her usual business projects where she can control things her way. On the other hand, Sarang should not take some rash decision of taking responsibility and being Alia's support without her consent. Both just really need to have time for things to sink in...and then have a proper discussion on how to deal with the IVF situation. Although I don't have such high hopes at the moment of how this will be handled...

saying we can see why Alia would make a certain decision is not justifying it. It just means that when you look at it from her perspective, it makes sense. And in the same note, however Sarang will respond will also make sense because this is a complicated situation. I think we need to give both of them the benefit of the doubt. Yeah I know, I wish Sarang had the time to make an informed decision as well. They will definitely need to have a mature and proper conversation about how to move forward. However, given today's episode and tomorrow's it doesnt look like it. They are both just talking at each other but aren't really having a decent conversation, which sucks. 

@john909 It doesn't apply here because people aren't trying to understand her because she's a woman or because she's pregnant. It's because the writers have given us enough substance on who Alia is and how she navigates the world and we have come to understand her. Yes she did all of those things but my point is that we should try to understand the reason behind her being like that when in any other cases she hasn't been. Going against your own beliefs in life happens sometimes where there are situations we've never come across. Especially if it's to protect something we've wanted for so long. Yes she did manipulate her and she was in the wrong but she was proved correct when Sarang is in front of her asking to be the father. And then she used whatever she could to get rid of him. It was ruthless and heartless but Alia needs to work past it and grow to be a better individual. It's the kind of situation thats needed so we see her growing from someone who only thinks of her and hers to think about someone else. In my opinion, Alia is in the right path to self-discovery. On the flip side, so is Sarang. Sarang is very quick to solve peoples problem and is intensely emotional, which isn't great either. They are in complete contrast of each other and they both need to be balanced so hopefully this gives them a chance to think deeper about their choices. 

Originally posted by: music_l0ver036

@john909 It doesn't apply here because people aren't trying to understand her because she's a woman or because she's pregnant. It's because the writers have given us enough substance on who Alia is and how she navigates the world and we have come to understand her. Yes she did all of those things but my point is that we should try to understand the reason behind her being like that when in any other cases she hasn't been. Going against your own beliefs in life happens sometimes where there are situations we've never come across. Especially if it's to protect something we've wanted for so long. Yes she did manipulate her and she was in the wrong but she was proved correct when Sarang is in front of her asking to be the father. And then she used whatever she could to get rid of him. It was ruthless and heartless but Alia needs to work past it and grow to be a better individual. It's the kind of situation thats needed so we see her growing from someone who only thinks of her and hers to think about someone else. In my opinion, Alia is in the right path to self-discovery. On the flip side, so is Sarang. Sarang is very quick to solve peoples problem and is intensely emotional, which isn't great either. They are in complete contrast of each other and they both need to be balanced so hopefully this gives them a chance to think deeper about their choices. 

Yes it does. even when people dont realise it, they have an unconscious bias and they think they are being completely objective but they arent. our society is filled with it.  I understand the reasons but that still doesnt justify her actions. Till her actions are affecting only her, they are understandable but when they crossover and start affecting others around, they are not suppose to be justified in the name of fear, insecurities and baby. that is part and parcel of being an adult. Intentions matter but so do consequences. there is nothing that has happened so far or she has said so far that has been proven right especially when it comes to sarang. alia created this situation by not having an honest conversation. one doesnt get to manipulate and break someone's trust and then also expect the other person to not react.  When sarang asked to be a father, he was just trying to be a part of the baby's life so that baby doesnt grow up thinking his/her father didnt love him or want him like he feels now. so if you want me to understand alia's situations and justify them, i can ask you to see sarang's pov and justify his actions considering his actions and intentions also a backstory like alia does.  she handed him a check to get rid of him. if those are the values she is setting up for her child, i dont know what to say. she is not on a path of self-discovery. she is running away from the situation and trying to ignore it till it goes away. If  Sarang is too emotional then alia is too practical. Both are imperfect. All this could have been avoided  if they just had a chance to talk and be open and honest about everything.