Good morning Sisterhood! 🌄🌻
I am emptying the half bag of chappals... Fresh collection drive is on. Heels will be preferred. Buyback policy suspended until further notice. Please hurl in pairs only. Additional drive to collect other throwables also begins today but please avoid sharp objects:
"FIR ho gayi? Sabne aapke aate hi mere peet peeche meri burai Karke Aapke pass FIR Karwa di hogi. Batayiye kya kya charges Hain?"
It was the perfect quip from Sai, who really doesn't even need to hear the kind of allegations that can be made against her.
But unfortunately, the humour was only for the viewers because policewala deal wala husband had almost swung to the other side of the pendulum until he saw her walking down the stairs in all finery and got transfixed.
The 'wife' entered the scene, a gentle smile and a courtesy 'kuch kha lijiye, aaram kijiye' helped him being own the tone of his voice by a couple of notches, but Virat's conduct until Sai came was disappointing to say the least.
(The scene is incomplete and so, I will only speak of what we saw until now)
He entered very calmly with only one thought on his mind 'Sai', and began looking for her and ended up running into the Makad mob waiting with their yarns, whining and advice. So, in a matter of moments, the 'lover boy' who had visited the wife's medical school to check out prospective competition went back to his 'hangry' self.
The complaint wasn't just a plea this time, it was an ultimatum -- while Kaku's ultimatum was milder with 'sabhyata sikhao ya Ghar se nikalo' it was Sonali's acerbic taunt that did the job of rubbing his wound, aptly supported by Mrs Salunkhe Jr., fully in Mallika-e-Maturity mode with 'Virat ki biwi' reference. She had already done the job of implanting the idea -- projected as a solution -- that ousting Sai was the only way to achieve peace. Well aware that Virat would never take the offer of leaving 'ye Mera Ghar hai', himself. She silently stood as the extoxic tea-addicts did the job for her.
The yarns spun, with the most incriminating allegation coming -- Sai ne Kaku ko dhakka maara. It was a visible lie but made believable when Kaku nodded in a yes. There was no need to question why the dhakka-mukki happened. No need to wonder what they meant when they said, "Sai Haath chhudate huye Alta gir Gaya?"
He didn't want to know why someone held Sai's arm in the first place. Because he, himself, was convinced that Alta jaisi chhoti si cheez ke liye Kyun mana Kiya?
I wasn't expecting anything after his Ninad-like "zabardasti lagana chahiye tha". Really? 😲😕 Why does that red colour on her feet matter so much to this falling-in-love husband? Only for the satisfaction of the family ego? May be I am not able to connect with the importance of colouring the feet red and the resulting anger from everyone because I don't subscribe to forcing it upon someone by pitching superstitious beliefs. At some point, all women would give in for the 'love', it happens and so did Sai but not because someone has physically pushed a woman
But, at this moment, would it matter if anyone physically pushed around the wife without even extending the basic courtesy of speaking to her in a civil tone? He doesn't want to know. He doesn't want to hear his Aai, even. Why, because Kaku has been "pushed"? He knew it was a lie being told. But if Kaku has consented to the lie, it has to be taken as truth? He's feeling so torn that he just wants to end the tug of war -- the feeling is far from assuring, Virat.
And the most accountable part: His reaction to the suggestion of sending Sai out of the house! Oh boy, did you just say, "Par wo akeli jayegi Kahan?" You were given two options -- leave or throw, in simple words. You chose 'throw' to reason out and explain that hostels don't accept married women and she can't stay in her own 😠. This, coming from a man, who she trusts enough to say, "I will leave if he asks me to". Well, he almost got there today.
It takes me back to the question I had asked when he threw the lame "mere Baba aur Kaku Ka Dil jeetna" challenge at her after the chilli grinding. Is he up for his part of the challenge to ask her to win the hearts of people, who don't even seem to have one? Will he choose Sai over his family if she's indeed wrong on a particular day? I am afraid, it doesn't seem so. Because, even when she's not wrong, he can almost condemn her by just assuming that she was wrong, based on the "jhooth zor zor se bolo" skills of Kaku and Sena... Virat, you disappointed me today. You are not up for this challenge!
I am unable to find any context to this increasingly grumpy behaviour towards Sai. It's almost as if now, he actually wants her to stop protesting. Because to decide if she was indeed guilty or not, he would hear her side --at least after it was evident that he didn't quite believe any one of the liars there --- Mrs Salunkhe Jr included-- except his Baba and Kaku. He just seems in a hurry to diffuse the family fights and concede defeat without even being fair. The issue was petty (but why should she wear the Alta?) but it was visible how the ganging up happened and turned it into a battle of ego... asking him to 'throw' out his wife for such a petty issue. Was he so flustered at the suggestion that he wanted to concede immediately without even sparing a thought for Sai's story? Was he suddenly taken over by the prospect of having to let her go away or was it just his bruised ego as the family's chaheeta beta?
I wish Sai had heard his almost concurring words of sending her out of the house. When you say 'but how...' instead of saying 'No way' or 'Okay we will...' it means you've accepted the advice. I really want him to follow it since he thinks he's then one making the decisions. He wants to keep her in front of his eyes for his own reasons as of now. I really think Sai needs to move to the college for now until this man has sorted out the cause of his jealousy pangs and his absolute need to keep his family happy at any cost. He cannot have the cake and eat it too.
I am not hoping for it but expecting a better end to Virat's conversation with this gang of obnoxious liars. Yes, the whole drama before he came was unnecessary and avoidable but it was the Makad Sena that started it and crossed the line, Sai who reacted in her signature style and Mallika-e-Maturity who laid the trap for Virat.
I think this episode was has set the base for the penultimate showdown that will happen when Devyani's track. The question has already been put forth - does your wife deserve to live here?
Moment of the day:
Finally, we get a scene where Sai is wondering about her feelings for Virat.
"Kya sach mein Virat Sir se pyaar toh Nahi ho Gaya?" followed by a slap to self and a firm reminder that "it cannot happen".
Ashwini tried very hard to get her to see a 'husband' in Virat. The mother has seen the "affection" Virat has for his young wife. I don't want to call it the 'love' that Ashwini wants Sai to believe it to be because I am not sure if it is yet. It is brewing for sure but it's so fickle at the moment that it only takes a moment for Virat to change his stand, take U-turns and explode at her.
Had she not been dressed for the puja and left him stunned, the scene would have turned into a déjà vu of their recent screaming matches.
She noticed his gaze today -- the conversation with Aai was too fresh. For a fleeting moment, the "FIR ho gayi" sounded as if it were said in the context of what she had done to him -- stolen a breath 😅
I feel for Sai. This is a girl all of 18. One cannot discount her traumatic years as a teen-ager when she's been shown as a victim of sexual harassment. And now she's fast turning into a victim of psychological manipulation. She's impressionable, fiercely loyal and it is certain that she's attached to the man, who has told her clearly that she can never have him. His outbursts affect her as much as his pampering cheers her up. Had it not been for the self-respect and self-restrain that she exercises, she would have been an emotional mess right now, baying for the blood of the other woman in her husband's life.
The two people she connects with now -- Aai and Virat are taking turns to ask her to tone it down.. Virat for the sake of tact and peace and Aai for the sake of Virat. But what about the girl herself?
How hard it must be to watch the 'husband' living his 'pyarosti'(thanks Priya!😅) while she must keep her own desires to herself. Ashwini's , "Ek din tumhe pata chalega ki apni is galat Soch me tumhare rishtey ko Kitna nuksaan hua hai"
But who has instigated her to harbour such thoughts? Who ordered her the loveless marriage? Did he think of the nuksaan it would cause? And he now wants to take a U-turn without repairing the damage that has been caused so far. Her self-restrain is disappointing him -- because it's far better than his own 😂
Does Sai love Virat? She's trying not to walk on that path and acknowledge it. Why should she? She knows she cannot and she does not want the thoughts of the possibility to give her any hopes. But there is no denying that she has deep affection and desire -- the one that she cannot express because she has been told and reminded that she cannot. And there have been reminders in the form of actions for the definite third person in the marriage.
Ashwini's "every girl looks for an image of her father in her husband" is very true... It's because women want to be loved unconditionally by their husbands, just like a fathers did. Sai's, "Aaba mujhe Kabhi Nahi daantte thay ..." There is definitely a difference. No one can love a girl like her father... But it is also because Kamal Joshi did not have the kind of pressures Virat has of including relatives in his life, who he cannot cut out right now. And he has this growing unreal expectations from Sai to understand.
What Ashwini is doing is speaking from her observation of how Virat is affected by 'Sai samajhti nahi hai'. Her son's eyes gave away his new found emotions for his wife when she had that exchange with him over dinner. But Ashwini being Ashwini will not ask her son to do what is needed -- she wants Sai to understand. She's getting agitated with Sai's cross questions. But why not confront her Godu and tell him to clear the fog from between him and his wife. It could actually even solve the problem arising now and then in the zillat arena. Because, when one has the assurance of being 'truly loved and truly understood', a lot of other opinions do not matter enough to expend one's energy.
Virat's offer of the 'loveless' marriage to a woman of firm resolve is coming back to bite him. He thought it would be the perfect setting to look after the girl entrusted to him. But it turns out that he cannot handle the resolve with which she's willing to live in the marriage without intimacy -- and he's totally ignoring the aspect that she can see the third person in between them.
I don't know why a small part of me feels that Virat is also growing very conscious about the fact that his 'aura' has no effect on Sai -- she's been able to exercise that control to make him feel so. The need to ask if a college mate looks better, is taller and someone who can do a better job in making her happy enough to break into a dance comes from his insecurity of not having the kind of 'effect' on her that a man wants his woman to have. It must be really denting his confidence sometimes -- "tum sochti nahi ho"...
For Sai, choosing the marriage was more due to practical reasons -- the pros outweighed the cons, at that time. She's been better of the two in accepting the lack of intimacy but also appreciating the care he has for her. While it seems Virat is more affected by his growing feelings, Sai's 'Main unhe apna Pati kehti hoon' but there is nothing else is not entirely true. She craves for his attention. Her assumption that it is his "best friend" who makes him happy is also a manifestation of her feeling that she is the one who is 'inadequate' -- someone who he will never love. It would be a lie to think that she doesn't want to experience the feeling of love with this very man.
But since he's getting there first -- one of the major reasons for Virat's unexplained anger is actually stemming from this lack of intimacy and the 'forced' idea that they would never seek it. They have decided to keep the doors closed. But why is intimacy so important? Of course, physical intimacy doesn't define a relationship but the lack of it leaves a lot of room for additional issues like anger, isolation, mistrust and of course a lot of contempt in conflict. "What have you done for me? Look at the way you treat me! You don't love me! You are trying to control me.."
They have said all this to each other on their outbursts. How they go forward from here will really depend on the willingness to communicate and open those doors that they've kept shut -- in moments that are not plagued with anger, stress or conflict. Both of them need to see that the other is seeking the love they are so willing to offer... Only they should know how to safely take it into their space without letting other elements drain it out on the way to each other.
But first, the man needs to get his act together. Jealous and possessive but not firm enough to accept Option 1. 👎👎👎
Sai needs better than that Virat. You either make the way or steer clear from it.
****
The century played out in a rather tepid way but for one but it has set the ball rolling for the more visible expressions of love from here on, along with the imminent and much needed time off to be able to weigh the worth of the love that will slowly finds its way...
I know many would still be dealing with heavy hearts... But well, the story is progressing for sure. And as long as there is coffee available in the world, how bad can things be? ☕☕☕ And yes, chai bhi 🍵🍵🍵 Pick your balm out of the two, brew it, sip it and live it up today! Because Nadi ke paani ko sirf ek baar chhu sakte hain and today's day will move forward with the river.
Zindagi do rangon se bane.. ab roothe ab maane...yehi toh hai, yehi toh hai, yahaan!
Apni Hasi ki hifazat Karna!
❤️♥️❤️💞🤗🤗
J
Edited by jankiraghav -
comment:
p_commentcount