Today's episode and the portrayal of the elders of the Goenkas (namely Manish and Suhasini) perfectly showcases how emotionally abusive Indian joint families can be. I know this doesn't happen in all joint families, but it is very common. Let's take this point by point, shall we? Buckle up, peeps.
During Gayu's outburst and her trying to leave the house, we saw Surekha's feelings explode too. Let me make it clear that her thoughts on the matter of Luv-Kush are completely wrong. Those boys were absolutely terrible and had their jail term coming. But let's focus on the other things she said. She condoned Gayu's decision of leaving the house so that she can live in peace. Surekha said she had felt belittled and ignored many times in the past but either didn't recognize it or couldn't verbalize it. And I can totally see that. This is so common in joint families where women have to swallow their feelings and "adjust" and "compromise" to keep peace in the family. The makers tried to include this to antagonize her but her feelings were the most realistic of the lot apart from Gayu.
Manish and Suhasini Dadi's shock at this outburst from two daughters-in-law of the house was just laughable. I guess they didn't ever expect anyone to say anything to their injustice after getting away with it for so long.
Gayu's decision to leave the Goenka Villa was the perfect decision for her mental health and her children's future. I mean, she also needs to leave that scumbag Samarth, but that's a story for another time. When Gayu announced that decision and started walking out, Kartik came up and declared that he'd leave the house with his wife and kids. How manipulative is that? I don't care if he meant it for good or if it was a temporary strategy, but that is just not okay. It seemed like guilt-tripping. If Gayu would have left, she could finally start a new life without the negativity of the Goenkas. Kartik unnecessarily introduced a whole new complication. If they (Karia) left the house, then Gayu would have to take even more shit from the Goenkas because she drove away the life of the house, i.e. Kaira and kids. It wouldn't have made anyone happy, not Gayu, not Kaira, and definitely not the rest of the Goenkas. Gayu was right. Kaira and their kids should just stay there for everyone's good and let her leave without creating drama.
Swarna then tried to stop both Gayu and Kartik by saying that it's so difficult to raise kids alone. Even Naksh said that. Which world do these people live in, might I ask? Hundreds of thousands of parents all over the world raise their kids as a nuclear family. I guess Gayu would end up being a single mother (with the hope that she leaves Samarth), but even that is not impossible. And how is raising kids around people like Manish and Suhasini and Samarth easy in the slightest? In fact, getting away from these Goenkas would make it ten-fold easier for her to raise her kids. Gayu would be happier and at peace. She'd have control over her life and she'd know how to raise her kids properly so that they can face the world one day but still be kind and virtuous. We forget that Gayu has seen a lot of tragedy in her life. Her biological father left her mother for another woman and she was raised by a single mother for the majority of her life. When her mother remarried, she shortly lost both her parents to a car accident. Then she lost Akshara who was the closest to a mother figure she had after Rashmi. And then she lost the love of her life, her fiance, Vivaan. And she stood up to these storms time and time again. Don't you think a resilient woman like her would be able to figure out her way in life as a single mother? She knows it can be done; she's practically been raised by a single mother.
Gayu's insecurities probably stem from her time at the Singhanias. I know Akshara and Naitik never considered her to be any less of a daughter than Naira. But imagine this. When Naira left for Rishikesh as a teenager, Gayu stepped up from her grief of losing her parents and took care of Akshara and Naitik. She took solace in them but also became their pillar of support. But once Naira came back, she was just welcomed with open arms and given her place. Later when Naira left for Goa and was presumed dead, Gayu was still there fulfilling all the responsibilities of being the Singhanias' daughter. She was right when she told Naksh that she had tied many more rakhis than Naira. And she was right in yesterday's episode when she called Naira the biggest "draamebaaz." Naira had a misunderstanding with her mother so she left for Rishikesh without giving a thought to how devastated her father, brother, and the rest of the family will be. When her husband had the gall to ask her a question (I know it was in bad taste but at least he was communicating), she left everyone without second thoughts about her maternal family. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that she let her old grandmothers believe that she was dead rather than just divorce Kartik if she was that mad. She left her "family" for years on end as her mind pleased, but Gayu was always there.
In the entire episode, Gayu was being shown as the villian, both with her dialogues and the editing. But that is not at all true in my opinion. In a realistic scenario, any sane woman would and should leave such an abusive and toxic household. Honestly, her biggest mistake was ever marrying Samarth. The Goenkas did a huge disservice to her by proposing the marriage right after she lost Vivaan. Poor girl was still processing her grief and wasn't in the right state of mind, but the Goenkas did not have the decency to even wait a few days. And Rama Dadi decided it was best to marry her off rather than let her grieve and move on. She should have just let her be a single mother to Vivaan's child. She was single all this time and she was away from the Singhanias so she must have already been financially independent. And even if she wasn't, she definitely had the skills to do so. She used to work in Naitik's company as a jewelry designer, remember? She could have raised Vansh with Vivaan's memories and then married once she felt that she had moved on and found a person who was worthy of her. Kind of how Rashmi found a gem like Sameer years later. But no, she married Samarth, who she would have seen to be so much worse than Vivaan, if she were in her senses and not grieving. Honestly, Vivaan was such a sweetheart. When he first proposed, Gayu said no, and he respected that and still stayed friends with her without ever making her feel guilty or uncomfortable. I hate that he was killed off.
Now, coming to Manish. Where do I even begin? Right towards the end of the fight, the soundtrack of Baghban started playing. How convenient! What a strategy by the makers! 👏 This is exactly the kind of portrayal of "elders" in Indian culture that is so emotionally manipulative. So Manish and his mom can behave however they like with the members of the family (Gayu, Vansh, Kirti, Naira, Krishna) but if one of them (in this case Gayu) decides to leave for their own good or shows them a mirror, they are essentially disrespecting them. Just by way of being elder, Manish is placed on a pedestal, and anyone who points out their disappointment is the bad guy. They are essentially breaking up a happy family. But from which angle are the Goenkas a happy family? Why are they so obsessed with keeping such a toxic household together? Manish kept going on and on about how his home is falling apart -- "ghar tut raha hai." No my man, you never built a home. You only built a villa. Goenka Villa.
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