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Chapter Three : Bekhayali
'Roshni', the single word hung between them. Their past was standing in front of their eyes and all they could do was stare, unknown to both they were staring to take the other in totally.
Just then they heard a voice, "Oh Siddharth. Tu yahan? Acha tu isse mil liya, ye meri roommate hai ..." Harshita started but then realized she hadn't even asked Roshni her name till now.
Realising this she started to laugh, not really taking in that the two in front of her were lost in each other. "So sorry, main naam puchna hi bhul gyi!"
"Roshni!" Sid cut her off and Harshita looked at him in disbelief. Siddharth finally gave a look to Harshita, "Roshni hai iska naam." He stated with finality in his voice and it became totally clear to her.
The girl who was the reason for her best friend's misery was standing in front of her. The sleepless nights he spent, the answers that were unsaid. She couldn't hate her as she had wanted to all this time, somehow in the past few hours, Roshni and Harshita had formed some kind of bond.
She glanced between the two estranged lovers, looking at them no one could say they didn't know each other. Multiple emotions crossed their faces, from hurt to longing to desperation, finally it settled on indifference.
"Harshita chal! Tujhse baat karni hai mujhe." Siddharth tugged at her hand pulling her away without sparing another look at Roshni who stood there with shock written all over her face.
All those years she had thought of seeing him again, she had made herself ready to face all possible scenarios.
His angry version, the questioning Siddharth, the Siddharth who would look at her and understand how miserable she was, the comforting Sid, the sad and miserable him but she was met with something entirely different. He didn't even talk to her!
This was hurting her more than she thought. Of course he remembered her, his expressions gave that way. She started to follow them, fairly certain she'd be able to pick up what they were talking about.
Roshni reached the tents that had been set up in the lawn, apparently some dancers were having a small get-together, she seldom mingled amongst people. After Amar had come in her life she kept away from people totally, in the fear he'd not like it and reprimand her.
She started to move away, not wanting to get into any kind of trouble. She didn't know what she was thinking coming here behind Siddharth.
Other Side
Siddharth dragged Harshita with him, he knew he was holding her in a firm grip. Maybe he was hurting her by applying too much pressure, he wanted to take out his anger on something that was not her so he released her.
Stopping himself from shouting, he held his head between his hands and tried to control the tears that threatened to fall.
He felt a hand pat on his shoulder and a small voice saying, "Nikaal de!"
Main jo tumse door hoon
Kyun door main rahun Tera gurur hoon
Aa tu fasla mita Tu khwaab sa mila
Kyun khwaab tod doon
Hearing the song playing somewhere, he couldn't control himself and just burst out, "Ahhhhhhh." He was shouting repeatedly and the music was drowning his sorrows. In no time he started to hit his fists on the wall, the chairs kept there in the corridor and Harshita had to run to control him.
"Siddharth, chal mere saath tu." She tried to coax him but he held his ground. His feet moved towards the sound of the music, the pain in his heart couldn't be lessened today. He wanted it to flow and consume him.
Bekhayali mein bhi tera hi khayal aaye
Kyun judayi de gaya tu, yeh sawal aaye
Thoda sa main khafa ho gaya apne aap se
Thoda sa tujhpe bhi bewajah hi malaal aaye
When he reached the lawn, he was blinded by the lights. His eyes glistened with tears, he looked all around and his eyes spotted her. How could she do this to him? Why did she leave him? The questions that had killed him for the last 3 years.
Jo log baag hain jungle ki aag hain
Kyun aag mein jaloon Yeh nakaam pyar mein
Khush hain yeh haar mein Inn jaisa kyun banun
Roshni moved away, not meaning to stay here and face her mistakes.
As he trodded towards her retreating figure, he found his voice saying, "Jao phir se chali jao. That's what you do the best."
She felt her breath hitch at the sound, she knew who this voice belonged to. Roshni didn't know what to do at that moment but he was finally acknowledging her presence and her heart didn't understand her brain telling her to stop now.
She turned to face him, he looked visibly shaken once he was facing her. Suddenly someone ran past her pushing her along, she fell down into his arms.
Raatein dengi bata
Needon mein teri hi baat hai
Bhoolun kaise tujhe
Tu to khayalon mein sath hai
They stared at each other, her face glowed in the lights while she traced his cheek lovingly, trying to remember him.
"Roshni." He spoke so softly she would not have heard if he wasn't almost hugging her while holding her steady.
"Siddharth!" She spoke almost instinctively, they gazed at the other with so much of love that everything else ceased to matter.
"Kyun?" He questioned still in some kind of trance.
"Tumhare liye!" Came the reply, they were still dazed, none of them were using their brain.
Bekhayali mein bhi tera hi khayal aaye
Kyun bichadna hai zaruri yeh sawal aaye
Siddharth made her stand up carefully, he caressed her face and was leaning in forgetting every sane thought that prompted him to talk first. Roshni touched his face, trying to memorize how it felt to be close to him.
Just then Roshni realised what she had told him, keeping a hand on her mouth she ran back to her room. He stared after her, at once coming back to the present.
Nazar ke aage har ik manzar
Reit ki tarah bikhar raha hai
Dard tumhara badan mein mere
Zehar ki tarah utar raha hai
'Tumhare liye." Were the only words that repeated in Siddharth's mind. He felt a mixture of happiness and anger at what she had said, what did she mean by that.
Slowly he sat by a secluded area and closed his eyes. The whole moment played in front of his eyes like a movie, she was in front of him ready to love him like they had loved once upon a time. She still loved him, he could see it in her eyes.
Rushing back to her room, Roshni locked herself up in the bathroom again. What had she done, she had told him all that was needed for him to try to come back to her.
Crying in a frenzy, she threw the bottles all around. That's when she heard someone say, "Roshni. Can you come out?"
Roshni hesitated for a moment but then sensing her discomfort the voice spoke, "No worries. I'm alone!"
Pushing the door open Roshni was met by Harshita who looked extremely worried.
"I'm fine. Please leave me alone." This was all Roshni could say, she went and crept into her bed but sleep was far away.
Just then she heard Harshita whispering into her phone, "Are you sure? We don't have to do this."
Roshni wondered if she was talking to him, shrugging the thought she tried to tune out her ears as much as she could.
"Sid! No! You..." She started in a more serious voice but apparently was cut off. "Shit" Roshni heard Harshita cursing.
"To think he can listen sometimes." Harshita complained to herself.
"Oh he doesn't do that." Roshni heard herself answer before she could stop herself.
Noticing her slip up she gave up her pretense and sat up with a start. Looking across from her she started, "You might have heard all wrong things about me right? How I'm the worst for leaving him and stuff?"
Harshita smiled a bit and replied, "Seriously, not at all. He's just upset, more like hurt."
Roshni nodded and went back to sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a new day, hopefully it would not have any surprises.
Next day
Roshni was standing at the registration desk, today they had to finally submit their names for the first round in the competition. Amar was filling the form when she heard a familiar voice.
"Hey Roshni, can I borrow your pen?" Siddharth asked with a smile tugging at his lips. He was smirking in an extra sweet way, how could he behave this way, Roshni was certain she was dreaming.
She started to pinch herself when he closed in and whispered, "Main real hun ye prove karne ke liye tumhe khud ko pinch karne ki kya zaroorat? Remember how we used to prove it in the past, waise hi kar dun?"
Roshni immediately stood up and put sufficient space in between them. She was flustered, he was not being himself, there was something wrong. He looked determined and that wasn't a good look given the situation.
"Pen?" Siddharth said taking her out of her dreamland. She walked away from him and he was proud of himself.
"Chal Harshita. Aaj tujhe dikhata hun apne past ke villains!" Siddharth spoke.
There stood Amar, Roshni stood behind him looking here and there, she looked visibly bothered, he was enjoying the new look on her.
"Hi. Can I have a pen please? Have to fill the form for the couples category." Siddharth spoke to the coordinator but all the while his eyes traced the flicker of emotions across Roshni's face.
In no time he took the pen and started to move when he heard a very familiar voice call out his name, "Siddharth?"
Mocking shock, Siddharth turned back and said, "Oh wow. Amar? Such a small world, you're here for the couples dance too?"
Amar walked close to Siddharth, taking him in stride, "Don't think you'll come here and steal Roshni, aur main kuch nahi karunga."
"Kyun darr gaya?"
"Haha!" Amar laughed in a way that made it seem like someone else should be scared.
At once Siddharth spared a glance at Roshni, she looked terrified. Why was she so afraid or maybe who was she afraid of?
Siddharth felt an anger consuming him. He decided it was time to protect both his love and his pride.
"Tum ye sab chodo. Main yahan faaltu kaam karne nahi aaya. I'm here for the competition and main jeet kar jaunga. Dekh lena!"
"Yahan jeet ja, life mein to main hi jeetunga." He heard Amar speak with overconfidence.
Siddharth returned his words with a thumbs up gesture and immediately turned his thumb down. Leaving the place with Harshita he made sure he'd find out all about the past but before that he had to find a song for the couple dance now.
Just then he felt Roshni's eyes on his back, he always knew somehow.
Flashback
Roshni woke up with a start, she had a nice dream but she couldn't remember it. Immediately a frown took over her face, that's when she saw her phone vibrating by her nightstand.
"Hey baby! Good morning." She heard Siddharth's voice waking her up.
"Hi." She replied in a short voice.
"What happened? Did you have a bad dream?"
"No, the opposite. I had a good one!"
"Toh kya hua? Usme you married someone else kya?"
She giggled and said, "Wo achi dream nahi hogi. But I don't remember my dream isliye I'm sad."
"Achaa! Let me find a solution to this problem. Okay I'll go change, I'll be there to pick you up in 45 mins."
"Okay bye and good morning!" She replied with a giggle finally wishing him.
After a few hours Siddharth came to her room and made himself comfortable on her bed while she rambled on about how she wanted to go on a dance fest soon.
"Acha cut it Roshni. I have something for you."
She brightened up and nodded enthusiastically. He closed her eyes with his palm and placed a kiss on her lips. She was definitely not expecting this but nonetheless she kissed back, her eyes still covered by his palm.
"Jab bhi tumhe ye samjh na aaye ki dream kya thi ya phir lage you're dreaming I'll be there to give you a better reality." He smiled in a way that made her heart melt but she couldn't give that away.
"Tum kitne cheesy ho. Sometimes I wonder how I fell in love with you!"
"Kya pata. Mere good looks ho sakte hain reason." He chided.
"Not at all." She countered, he started to move saying he'll wait downstairs for her.
He could feel her eyes on him. He smirked and replied, "Roshni stop checking me out."
A pillow came flying across the room.
Present
"Roshni stop checking me out." He repeated the words with a wide grin but this time he turned to glance back.
Aa zmaane aazama le roothta nahi
Faaslon se hausla yeh tootta nahi
"Tum chahe kuch bhi bolo, kuch nahi badla!" He walked away with a skip in his step, "Get ready for the competition of your lives Roshni and Amar. Iss competition ke end mein jo bhi jeete, mere answers toh main lekar rahunga."
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