Btw, LiveEatLove, I remember you defending Sushant on every post here, when he was unfairly blamed and called things. I Know how much you loved him. As soon as I heard the news, I seeked out your post on IF. I honestly hope you’re doing okay, and so are all his other fans.🤗
Originally posted by: waitforit1Aw man, it’s been 6 days and I still have that gut-wrenching feeling every time I think about Sushant. I still cannot get over it, I still wish for it to be a nightmare that we’ll all wake up from. It’s so strange, this feeling. I can’t describe it. It physically hurts to think of the pain and suffering he must have felt, that caused him to take this step. I still break down into tears thinking of him, it’s just so so hard. :(
Your post makes sense of so many things for me now, and really makes me sad too. I was his fan from KDMHMD but by the time he had transitioned to BW, I had sort of disconnected from all things BW and could never truly support him, despite liking him. I was just focusing on my life rather than anything BW (after spending/wasting years on this forum prior to Sushant’s BW debut). I still silently visited this forum every now and then out of boredom. I don’t remember Sushant being discussed much but everytime that he was, it was unfortunately never anything pleasant, and that made me sad even back then :( I still wonderEs why though, had fame really changed that goofy, fun, down to earth sushant I knew from KDMHMD? Now I realise this smear campaign against him, for whatever reason. :( And it breaks my heart. He was essentially bullied by some extremely shallow, egoistic, insecure people of this industry. Bullying by exclusion, bullying through blinds, bullying through their entitled attitudes. And I know all too well what bullying does to you and feels like. :(
I have never been affected this much by a celebrity death but this feels like a very personal loss. 🥺 Is it because I knew him from his early days and saw his journey of ‘zero’ to hero, saw him become the star that he IS, rather than just hear about it like in the case of the all the other people I have been a fan of? Is that what connects me to him? Is it because of the guilt I feel for never being able to support him like I would have liked to until it was too late? Is it because I had also somewhere started to believe those blinds? Is it because of how relatable he sounds as a fellow geek and introvert (and I unfortunately only discovered this side of him after he passed away)? Whatever the reason may be, his loss has deeply saddened me, and it really upsets me to think that he probably left the world thinking he was not good enough, that he was made to feel so, when in fact he was a gem in this otherwise mediocre industry filled with self-centred dimwits who can’t look beyond themselves.
I’m sorry for all his suffering, I truly am. Even though I didn’t know him, I wish I could take it all way. I wish it didn’t end this way, but it did and nothing I do or say now will change it. :( I wish I could tell him how very proud I am of everything that he had achieved in his limited time here. ❤️
Sorry for the long rant, I thought maybe writing some of my thoughts out would make getting over this slightly easier. :(
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. ❤️
Originally posted by: waitforit1Aw man, it’s been 6 days and I still have that gut-wrenching feeling every time I think about Sushant. I still cannot get over it, I still wish for it to be a nightmare that we’ll all wake up from. It’s so strange, this feeling. I can’t describe it. It physically hurts to think of the pain and suffering he must have felt, that caused him to take this step. I still break down into tears thinking of him, it’s just so so hard. :(
Your post makes sense of so many things for me now, and really makes me sad too. I was his fan from KDMHMD but by the time he had transitioned to BW, I had sort of disconnected from all things BW and could never truly support him, despite liking him. I was just focusing on my life rather than anything BW (after spending/wasting years on this forum prior to Sushant’s BW debut). I still silently visited this forum every now and then out of boredom. I don’t remember Sushant being discussed much but everytime that he was, it was unfortunately never anything pleasant, and that made me sad even back then :( I still wonderEs why though, had fame really changed that goofy, fun, down to earth sushant I knew from KDMHMD? Now I realise this smear campaign against him, for whatever reason. :( And it breaks my heart. He was essentially bullied by some extremely shallow, egoistic, insecure people of this industry. Bullying by exclusion, bullying through blinds, bullying through their entitled attitudes. And I know all too well what bullying does to you and feels like. :(
I have never been affected this much by a celebrity death but this feels like a very personal loss. 🥺 Is it because I knew him from his early days and saw his journey of ‘zero’ to hero, saw him become the star that he IS, rather than just hear about it like in the case of the all the other people I have been a fan of? Is that what connects me to him? Is it because of the guilt I feel for never being able to support him like I would have liked to until it was too late? Is it because I had also somewhere started to believe those blinds? Is it because of how relatable he sounds as a fellow geek and introvert (and I unfortunately only discovered this side of him after he passed away)? Whatever the reason may be, his loss has deeply saddened me, and it really upsets me to think that he probably left the world thinking he was not good enough, that he was made to feel so, when in fact he was a gem in this otherwise mediocre industry filled with self-centred dimwits who can’t look beyond themselves.
I’m sorry for all his suffering, I truly am. Even though I didn’t know him, I wish I could take it all way. I wish it didn’t end this way, but it did and nothing I do or say now will change it. :( I wish I could tell him how very proud I am of everything that he had achieved in his limited time here. ❤️
Sorry for the long rant, I thought maybe writing some of my thoughts out would make getting over this slightly easier. :(
Hey, loved how you penned down your emotions. I too have been going through the same. Thanks for writing this. ❤️
And don't say sorry for your rant, it's good to read people's emotions ❤️
There were blinds during his post-Dhoni phase:The narrative was he gets drunk at parties and do badtameezi with female celebs. There was a rumors linking him up with Kiran Rao too
https://www.bollywoodbubble.com/bollywood-gossips/eyes-sushant-singh-rajput-kiran-rao-b-town-party/
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