SS - A Life in Pause - reprised (Chapter 7 | 31/7)

Posted: 3 years ago

Hey Guys, 


It's strange coming back today to upload this story on the back of Sushant's sudden demise that sorta reflects this theme or rather the pivotal moment in it. Depression is the hardest thing and to all those fighting your demons silently, my heart goes out to you. Stay strong...talk to someone... or me! Life itself is life's most precious gift and however tainted and bruised... it is worth living for. 


Coming to story which has been a start and stop for me... I hope this reprised version does justice to it. This is for a dear new friend who made be believe in myself a little more and made me smile through the storm... you know who you are and I thank you. 


So, here goes nothing. 


----------  This is purely a work of fiction. Characters borrowed from 4 Lions Entertainment. ------------


Index:

Chapter 1: below

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5 - An Interlude

Chapter 6 

Chapter 7


Stay Strong! Stay Safe!

LibranAngel

Edited by libranangel - 3 years ago
Posted: 3 years ago

Chapter 1


The wind was deathly calm. The trees stood stock still. The scorching rays of the sun burned the dry ground. The neighbourhood children ignored the heat and played freely on the streets. The women busy with their purchases rushed on by with a small smile and nod. Somewhere there were crows cawing and traffic horns blaring.

But the man storming down the steps of the school building couldn’t see or hear any of this. His hands were fisted on his sides and every step seemed to rattle the very foundations of the earth. His eyes were seething anger and rage and his lips thinned in an effort to control the avalanche of emotions. His pristine white shirt no longer bore the look of one freshly pressed but rather clung to his skin with sweat and heat. 

As he descended the last step a loud sound pierced through the still air. He turned towards the sound and froze.


“Khushi!” his anguished cry ripped through the tiny neighbourhood as his feet made frantic steps towards the mass of blue laying sprawled on the ground.

His wife had jumped!


Arnav reached her in a flash and lifted her now bleeding head on his lap. Her legs and hands twisted at odd angles, face dripping with blood oozing from the wound in her head. Her eyes were open and she was trying to speak but no sound emitted the confines of her mouth. “Khushi! Khushi! Why? Dammit why? No Khushi just stay with me ok? Stay with me…you’ll be fine I promise. Just…just keep your eyes open and stay with me ok? Call an ambulance…somebody call a bloody ambulance. Khushi…keep your eyes open and stay with me… you’ll be fine…” frantic words were gushing forth…his mind a whirl of emotions…Why? How? Why? Everything just a tumbling mass in his head… if she just kept her eyes open…


Her eyes closed. Fear gripped his being. Cold, unforgiving, unrelenting fear looking at her almost lifeless body in his arms. Fear like something he never felt before. He shook her trying to get her to open her eyes. Calling out her name again and again hoping to revive her. The wail of the ambulance broke through the haze in his mind. The frenzy of activity over the next five minutes as they loaded her frail bleeding body on the gurney, connected an oxygen mask to help her breathing, rolled the gurney onto the ambulance and connected her to the monitors and medical apparatus, left him standing statue-like to the side. As he saw the ambulance door closing, he rushed through to be allowed inside next to her as they made their way to the nearest hospital.

 

Everything that happened after that was still a blur. The doctors, nurses, waiting people in the lobby all blurry images in front of his eyes. His mind replaying those minutes before he stormed off from her and then her sprawled body on the ground in a never-ending loop. Unable to clear the haze, he sat slumped, head in his hands till he felt a tap on his shoulder.

 

“Mr. Raizada, I need you to fill these forms and complete the formalities.” The nurse said gently taking in the plight of the man in front of her. “Uh…yes...I’ll do that.” He didn’t sound like himself…gone was the sauvé, arrogant businessman who controlled his own destiny. The man sitting on this chair was weak, afraid and shadow of himself. He filled the forms and handed the paperwork back to the nurse.

“Sir, since this was an attempted suicide, we have informed the police authorities. They will be here shortly.” He could only nod in reply. This mind processing the words in a slower glacial pace. He would have to deal with the police…but how? What answers did he have to give? Why did she jump? Why wasn’t he there? Nothing was making sense to him. All rational thought seemed to have been left there on that school terrace. Those final moments before he stormed off without so much as a backward glance at her…seething in in own rage and wrath…what would he tell the police?

 

He picked up his phone and dialed the only person he could think off. If the police were now involved, he would need his lawyer. Explaining the situation and his current location, he sat back on the chair outside the operation theatre. It had now been an hour and so far, no one had given him any update on what was happening behind those closed doors.

 

After another twenty-five minutes of grueling wait, he noticed Mr. Rao striding through the hospital corridors, closely followed by the police. Together they proceeded to a corner of the waiting area away from prying eyes and ears.

 

“Mr. Raizada, can you recount for us the happenings of this morning?” the senior inspector began.

 

“We were at Khushi’s parents place, getting ready to return to Shantivan. She had stepped out and I handn’t thought much about it till I found a note on the bed. She had written that she is going away and had left me her artificial stars as a remembrance. She was acting very weird the whole morning and that note made me panic. I ran out of the house asking people if they’d seen her. Finally, a boy told me he’d seen her going towards the school. When I reached, I saw her standing on the ledge. I ran up and pulled her down from there. We had an argument over why she was doing this…I said things…she said things…and then I left. When I reached down, I heard a noise and when I turned, I saw her on the ground.” He speech was measured…recounting the morning as calmly as he could.

 

“Mr. Raizada, what was the argument about? I’m sorry but since this is a police inquiry, we will have to ascertain if this was an attempted suicide or a murder attempt.”

 

“You think I’d want to kill my wife?” rage, hot and burning spewed out of him

 

“We’ve seen worse Mr. Raizada.” The senior inspector was unfazed.

 

He seemed to be losing control of his anger…what was this inspector insinuating? How could he accuse him of murdering…murdering Khushi? One look at Mr. Rao told him he’d have to calm down and handle the situation rationally.

 

“Like I said…” he continued in a calmer tone… “she was acting weird the whole morning. When I found her, I questioned her erratic behavior. My wife is known to act impulsively at times but this seemed a stretch too far even for her. That’s what the argument was about. I tried to convince her to come back home…but she wouldn’t listen…I left then.”

 

“And the next thing you saw was her on the ground?”

 

“Yes! I’ve already said that!” he almost balked. “Okay Mr. Raizada. That’s your side of the story. You will have to come into the station and give a written statement. We will have to wait for your wife to recover to take her statement as well before we bring this matter to a close. Stay in touch.” Informed the police looking straight at Arnav. It wasn’t unknown of men to murder their wives for the smallest of reasons and this was Arnav Singh Raizada. Fast tracking this case and thoroughly following through could be beneficial to him, he mused as he walked away.

 

Sitting Arnav down on the sofa Mr. Rao began to speak, “Arnav, I’ve known you for a long time so it pains me to say this, but did you have any hand in this?” although shaking through that question, the lawyer in him had to ask.

 

“How can you say that Veer?” he almost but shouted back. “I didn’t push her down. How could I do that. She’s my wife dammit!” the last words were almost a whisper.

 

“I think I can safely say that I’m the only person who knows how that came about. So, if we need to get out of this unscathed, you need to tell me what happened.” Mr. Rao’s demeanor was calm, completely unaffected but the angry, almost jumpy man next to him. He’s known Arnav for years and more than his legal advisor, he had been a friend through all the years of struggle and pains it took in making AR the name it was today. Arnav could be many things when blinded by rage but a murderer he was most definitely not. To see this matter through however, he had to get to the root of it.

 

“I told her the truth behind our marriage.” The words were so soft that Veer almost missed it.

 

“I told her everything. When I saw her standing there on the parapet, I felt this deep dread settle in. But she pushed and pushed to know the answer. So, I told her. I had already got her down from there so I didn’t think…I didn’t think she was in any danger. After I told her, she had no answers…no rebuttal and that angered me more…so I walked out of there unable to look at her anymore.” He finished and sighed. Recounting what happened that morning, he thought he could try and understand what happened after he left but it was still a mystery.

 

“Ok. I’ll see what I can do. I don’t know how long we can keep this matter a secret from the police, but let’s just hope Khushi is fine and she can clear their doubts. You hang in there and let me know her status.” Saying that the man left, leaving behind another with more question than clarity about the morning.

 

He had finally answered all her questions. He had let out the truth of their six-month marriage and beside tears, she had nothing to offer in her defense. Her tears always weakened him and so before he could pay heed to it, he stormed out of their leaving her with the truth of their sham marriage. He felt the anger rise in him again. Saying all those things to her…reliving those painful memories of that night was like a knife piercing through his heart. He had gone bouncing up the stair with a smile on his lips and peace like no other filling his heart only to have it come crashing down the very next second. Seeing her in his brother-in-law’s arms had torn him apart. And her words… her hateful words asking him to leave his sister was like tiny pieces of glass piercing every part of his body. Oh, what dreams he had dreamed with her, for her, for their future and she had made a fool out of him. This brother-in-law could be dealt with but she…she had to suffer. And this marriage was her hell.

 

Then why did his heart stop this morning when he saw her on that ground? Why did he feel like the ground was slipping from under his feet when he saw her blood? Why were there streams of tears pouring down his face when he tried to keep her alive?  Why did his traitorous heart still beat for her? He never had answers to these questions then… nor did he have them now. He only knew he needed her to be safe… to be alive.

 

It was four hours before he finally saw the light outside the operation theatre go off and the doctor walk out. He stood, bracing his heart…to afraid to ask…to afraid to know…fearing the worst.

 

“She’s alive Mr. Raizada!” relief washed over him in waves. “But she has suffered severe trauma to her brain causing swelling and slight damage to her resticular activating system. she has also suffered injuries to her ribs and her left leg is in a cast due to multiple fractures.”

 

“Will she be fine doctor?”

 

“For now, she’s in a coma…what we call a locked in syndrome. Which means she is awake and alert but cannot move, speak or respond. till the swelling reduces we can’t say how long she will be in this state. We will be moving her to the ICU where her progress will be monitored.” Saying that, the doctor excused himself not noticing the man slump into the chair behind him.

 

A coma! Paralyzed! Swelling! Damage to the brain! Words he’d never thought he would hear were just spoken in such a pedantry manner like it means nothing. His world crashed when he saw her on that ground and now knowing that he’ll never find out why…. knowing that she’s there but not there… the world began to spin again.

 

He needed to see her.

 

Just then he saw her being wheeled out from the theatre. He ran before they took her into the ICU.  Her eyes were open but it was like she was looking right through him. He held her hand not knowing if she could feel it. But he needed it more than her. He needed to know she was in there somewhere. He needed her to know he was here. Words failed him but he hoped she could see everything he wasn’t saying in his eyes.

 

As the doors to the ICU closed, he knew it was time to tell the families.

Posted: 3 years ago

What happened to Shushant has left everyone tongue tied! It’s unbelievable to even think he’s not anymore. Depression is one of the worst things anyone could suffer through yet it’s still sad to see how it’s not seen as an actual issue in a lot of countries still. 

This chapter had me in tears. So beautifully written that I could feel the emotions through the screen. A great start! 

Thanks for the PM! 

Much love, 



Posted: 3 years ago

Update is so realistic.

People waiting outside the Operation theater are more pathetic than the patient inside.Take it from me, was more worried about my only daughter and hubby while going through a similar situation.

How precious life is,and precious are people around you? Those moments before the anaesthesia take you through the moments of your life as if in a lightning flashback. wanted to be so good to  people if another chance was given. atheist hubby prayed all the known gods to bless him to have me back. All those frightening moments flip us to a different  personality.

Realized that ,I was stronger than I imagined, for the fellow cardiac patients were shifted out of the OR due to hypertension while myself remained  calm and composed and went through the procedure smoothly.

Love can conquer anything ,I wanted to live for them and the dear and near ones who prayed for me and waited outside the theater with their hearts in their mouth.

 See you all

Adieu for now


Love

Anna🤗

Posted: 3 years ago

Awesome start.. Waiting for story to unfold

Posted: 3 years ago

Written so well. RIP Sushant :(

Posted: 3 years ago

Beautiful start! It was written very well. I always wondered what would happen if she actually tried now that she was actually heartbroken after his reveal. 


Cant wait to read more!

Posted: 3 years ago

Chapter 2

 

“Accident?”

 

“Yes Di…a … a hit and run near the house in laxmi nagar” he knew he was lying but what could he say? We fought… I told her the truth … she tried to kill herself! No that would more of a storm than he could handle at the moment. For now, this would have to do.

 

“Is Khushi alright Chotey? Is she fine? Where are you? How bad is it?” the questions kept pouring out of his frazzled sister on the other end. Taking a deep steadying breath, he tried to answer her. “The operation was successful although she slipped into a coma. But the doctor seems positive she’ll come out of it. We just have to wait and watch.” He could hear the sharp intake on breath on the other side as his words settled in. Although he tried to allay all fears, he knew his sister better.

 

“Which hospital are you at? I’m coming there now!” “No Di! You please relax… she’s in the ICU and not allowed visitors… she’s fine Di.” He tried to console his sister or was it himself?

 

“And you?” concerned etched that question. For Anjali anything bad happening to someone she loved sent her into an abyss of grief. And when it concerned her younger brother, even more so. Knowing exactly how she felt, he tried again to calm her down telling her he will be home in a while.

 

He looked into the lying form of wife from the glass window of the ICU. There was so much he wanted to ask her. So much he wanted to know. Why did she deceive him? Why did she trick his family? Had she not felt what he felt the week before Akash’s wedding? How could she cheat him like this? Cheat his sister? And lastly but more importantly, why did she choose to end her life? Was the fact that he knew the truth so difficult to bear? Could she not stand to live with him anymore now that her secret was out? And what about her lover Shyam? Was she so selfish not to think of him even? No! he didn’t care about that …. He just needed to know why she had no answers!

 

Informing the nurse he was going away and giving her his number in-case of emergencies, he made his way to Laxmi Nagar to inform her family. He knew a phone call wouldn’t suffice.

 

By the time he reached Shantivan, the house was quiet except for Hari Prakash asking if he wanted dinner. Answering in the negative, he made his way to the room and crashed on the recliner.

 

Never had he expected the fiasco that was waiting for him at Buaji’s place. He had barely knocked on the door when Buaji opened it screaming to Garima that he was here.

 

A few hours earlier

 

“What happened Buaji? Why are you screaming?”

 

“Babua! Babua… Khusi bitiya kahan hain? Who theek hain na? Usse kuch hua toh nahin? Bolo na Babua?” Buaji was firing question at him in quick succession looking completely anxious and frazzled. Thinking his sister or Payal might have called ahead he tried calming the woman down and moved her to the sofa.

 

“Babua bola na… who theek hain?” Just then, Garima came rushing out…equally distraught and afraid. He could do nothing but tell them her condition.

 

“Accident? Coma? Par Bitwa…. She left this note… in the morning…” Garima held out a piece of paper to him. Confusion written large on her face. “We found this in the room and we couldn’t understand anything. We tried calling both of you… but the call didn’t connect. We called Payal also but she didn’t know anything… Bitwa, you are sure it was an accident na? … Khusi didn’t… didn’t” he saw her struggling to get the words out…. He could understand the shock and fear she must’ve felt when she found the note. It was the same that he left when which made him run out of the house looking for her.

 

He read the note and pocketed it, quickly countering that it was one of Khushi’s many crazy ideas. There was no point in worrying the two women in front of him anymore than he should. He continued to assure them that she was fine and taken good care of at the hospital. When he felt their fears settle, he made to leave picking up their bags and belongings.

 

As he walked out, Garima called out to him. He turned and watched as she gently raised her hand to bless him. “Bitwa… Devi Maiyya pe bhorasa rakho… Khushi theek hogaygi… apan khayal rakhna.” Nodding he got in the car and drove home.

 

------

 

His eyes opened when he felt a warm hand on his cheek.

 

“Di?”

 

“Shh… go back to sleep. I just came to check on you.”

 

“Come Di… Sit” he held her hand and walked to the bed. Sitting on the edge.

 

Anjali could see the worry lines etched all over his brow. The deep pain nestled in his eyes. “How is Khushi?” she asked softly.

 

“She’s okay Di…”

 

“And you?” no matter how much he loved to hide his feelings from her, his sister always tore through his defenses.  He laid his head on her lap and felt her fingers running through his hair… just like his ma used to.

 

“Don’t worry Chottey…Khushiji is a fighter you know that. She’ll fight back and before you know it she’ll be here…talking non-stop… making tons of jalebis… dancing to all her Bollywood songs…aur mujhe pata hain… as long as you are there with her… waiting for her… I know she will fight everything and come back to you.” She tried instilling all the confidence she had… all the faith she had into those words to calm her brother down. Even though he didn’t show it, she knew he was breaking inside.

 

Hearing his sister’s words, he knew she was right. If there was one thing Khushi did… it was fight him! At every turn…at every chance she got… whether it was when she worked at AR for him or when she was training Lavanya. Sometimes he felt her sole purpose of existence was to fight with him. But wasn’t that what drew him to her in the first place. Her fearless attitude… he unfailing spirit? Then where was the fight in her yesterday morning? Where was the need to rebuke him? To lash back at him? Had she given up so easily? Was it so easy to just let go? Didn’t she think he deserved answers? Lost in these whirlwinds of thoughts, he didn’t know when his eyes closed and when he drifted into an exhausted sleep.

 

He woke up the next morning on her side of the bed. He stars dangling above him reminding him of her absence and letter to him. He got out of the bed and got ready to face another day of waiting for her to wake up and give him answers to his numerous questions. First, he needed to go down to the station and give his statement.

 

Finding the inspector at his desk when he walked in, he handed over the note Garima gave him yesterday, uncaring of the discussion already underway in front of him.

 

“What is this Mr. Raizada?” questioned inspector Arora. He’d seen many people like this man. Rich, powerful, thought they controlled the world… but this was his police station… his domain! Here the man standing before him was not a hot shot tycoon but a suspect of attempted murder.

 

“This is a letter my wife wrote before she left the house that morning. I hope it throws some light on her actions and the fact that it was an attempted suicide.” His voice was calm but the insinuation was not missed by the senior inspector opposite him.

 

Inspector Arora took the note and glanced at it. More than a suicide note, it seemed to be some sort of will but to consider it as key evidence and rule out murder was something he wouldn’t do at this moment. Its authenticity needed to be verified.

 

 “Sure Mr. Raizada... we will consider this. However, your wife’s statement alone will throw some light on the situation. For now, you can go outside and give your statement.”

 

“My wife is in a coma, so you will have to wait a while for her statement.” He couldn’t control the rage that was building up inside him. Inspector Arora or whoever he was had irked him from the first moment they met. Suggesting he tried to murder his wife was nothing short of an insult and he never took kindly to them.

 

“We will wait Mr. Raizada.” Saying that, he called the constable to take the statement before continuing the conversation he was having.

 

Arnav followed the constable and recounted again the happenings of the morning, keeping to the same story he told the police at the hospital.

 

By the time he reached the hospital, it was already past noon. He checked in on Khushi through the glass window… somewhere hoping that she would turn and look at him. But it was not to be. Spotting the doctor, he made his way towards him for an update.

 

“Yes Mr. Raizada, she is doing much better. She’s responding to the treatment well. The swelling is reducing…a little slower than we thought but it’s progress.” Arnav felt a stone being lifted from his chest. He didn’t mind the time it took for her to come out of this coma. Just knowing that her chances were improving was enough.

 

“We will keep her in the ICU for one more night and monitor her progress. By tomorrow, we think we would be able to move her to the ward. But like I said before Mr. Raizada, we will have to wait and watch. She is the only one who can decide when to wake up.”

 

“Understood Doctor. Thank you!” That was all he could hope for at the moment. He would wait for her for however long it took... he would wait! Despite what he knew. Despite what he felt. Despite the hatred. Despite everything… he knew he needed her to be safe. Her tears always bothered him. Her pain always affected him. He didn’t like to admit it to himself but he knew it. He was attached to her.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

So that's Chapter 2... I know it didn't seem as much but it's just building the story and Arnav's mind set at the moment! 


Thank you so much for reading and appreciating my work. It means a whole lot!


If you want PMs... please buddy me. 


Peace

LibranAngel

Posted: 3 years ago

Lovely update!

I like how he s going through a mix of emotions. He still cares for her but hasn’t forgotten their argument. Cant wait to see what their first conversation looks like after she wakes up

Posted: 3 years ago

It was really heartbreaking to hear about Shushant's suicide. 

Hope his soul Rest In Peace. 



Well coming back to story a good start and nice progrss till now. 


Hope he soon get to know the truth of Shyam and then wanna see his redemption also. 


I think he would be in problem because of his lie to his family members. 


Waiting for next update.. 



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