Originally posted by: alina.bVery interesting and necessary topic! Humans are social beings so we need to interact with each other but the "amount of interaction" depends on the person itself. I'm an introvert so I need some social interaction, which could be talking to you guys online or meeting/facetiming my college friends. But, at the same time, I need time to myself when I listen to music, write, etc. There needs to be a balance. My friend he is an extrovert so for him being alone can be excruciating so it really depends on the person.
Yes, every person is either a type A person or type B person. There could be a certain percentage of the population that might exhibit a combo of both types of personalities. I also prefer social interaction once I get to know the person through classes or meetings via other people. Otherwise, they are just another stranger after the first meeting unless they meet me again.
One thing, that I learned in college was how important it is to have a good support system. I am blessed to have such supportive parents. They have always encouraged me but at the same time always emphasized my mental well-being. Growing up, they never pressured me on studies, never compared me to other kids, and let me make my own career decisions. Actually, when we study a lot they are the ones encouraging us to take breaks. That's another thing...don't exert yourself to the point of exhaustion. We all need a break. Sometimes it might be for a couple hours, a weekend, or sometimes a year...there were a couple of reason why I took a gap year and one of them was being exhausted from college. My parents were very supportive of this decision. It wasn't like I took "time off" and was sitting at home...I was working but this gave me time to re-evaluate what I want to do in life. Honestly, I am in a better place mentally than I was a year ago...this gap year helped me professionally and personally.
Yes, that's an interesting point whereby parents are giving mental support of performing at one's capability and reevaluating when it is necessary. That should be the mantra because one can become rebellious if pressure is over-exerted. I think its also important to include siblings and other family members who can help. Personally, since my siblings and I are close in age (0-2 year apart from each other) so it allows an even better environment because we all share a common friend circle and can relate better. (I can't say much for siblings who are distant in age so it's just what I've experienced)
But, in college my parents could only do so much because they were so far away from me. Living at college, you have to make good friends and eventually those friends turn into family. So, it's very important who you choose to be friends with...be with people who want to see you succeed but will be there to comfort you when you are going through a rough phase. Be around people who are positive and have good intentions. We are all students and in the same boat so we can all understand what the other is going through.
Yes, we all will have a certain group to whom we can relate to because they are of similar age. But again, everyone is diverse in terms of how they would approach a problem/task. So, it is important to have a circle of friends to whom you can talk to if one feels uncomfortable in discussing it with their parents. I think colleges also have a mental wellness center which is helpful for young students and faculty in terms of coping with mental stress but again it depends because some people are just too afraid to approach that method because they think more about the outcome a lot.
But, you can't completely depend on others to "make you happy" because happiness comes within yourself. Definitely talk to people you are close with when you are stressed. I talk to my parents or my best friend. But, you need to be careful about who you "vent" to. Does the person you are venting to have the emotional capacity to hear about your stress? Words are powerful...so how are your words affecting this person who might already be stressed in their own life? Maybe when you vent to them...you might end up stressing them out even more which negatively affects that person. So, always ask for permission before venting to someone to make sure that they have the presence of mind to hear out your worries.
Exactly. There are people who are cool with the opposite person venting their anger out whereas there are sensitive people included. Likewise, if parents arent the option, maybe siblings, counselor, aunts/uncles, friends, etc, so a person who is understandable, can help in terms of venting out the stress. But I think we should sometimes vent it out because it releases the anger between both parties. Sometimes even silence can kill one in an instant. Maybe there will be a period of silence but eventually one should patch up and try to talk in a calm manner sometime later.
Lastly, it sounds easy to say but I know it's hard to do...always have hope. Make a list of all the good things, events, people in life...even the smallest thing matters and all of that will always outweigh the biggest problems in your life. There is so much to life and when we overcome our problems, we come out stronger than ever...we become more experienced and wise so that we can help others who might go through the same struggles.
Yes, it is better to keep a hope in terms of when to talk it out because that way everything will be crystal clear. There is more in life then just feeling depressed.
"What seems to us as bitter trials are often blessings in disguise." --Oscar Wilde
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