Suvan OS: Because It's You

Disclaimer: I recommend that only 15+ read this. It is slightly mature but I've tried to be very subtle. The issue that will be discussed can be controversial or sensitive to some people.  

OS: Because It’s You

Suman bit her nail as she intensely read the romantic novel recommended by Kanchan. It was starkly different from the mystery books she usually read. She was never fond of romance as the concept of love never intrigued her. But, all that changed when she met Shravan Malhotra. At first, they were at loggerheads with each other and there was no hope of them getting along. Slowly, their arguments blossomed into affection. They had been dating for six months and every moment she spent with him felt so special. He evoked emotions that she didn’t even know existed within her. 

Suman’s eyes grew wide as she read the words on the pages and tightly shut the book. She tried to stabilize her breathing as she felt her cheeks heat up. Kanchan walked in and grew confused as she saw a nervous Suman. She asked, “What’s wrong, Suman?” 

Suman threw the book at Kanchan and yelled, “Kancha! What kind of book is this?” 

Kancha picked up the book and placed it on her desk. She frowned and slowly replied, “It’s a romantic novel. It’s a sweet love story. I guess you didn’t like it?” 

Suman mumbled, “No, I mean...it’s a good book. I liked it a lot actually, until…” Kancha became puzzled seeing the mortified look on Suman’s face. She had read the book many times before and never thought anything was odd about it. Suman took a deep breath, “The story was fine...until they got really intimate with each other. What is the need for that? They aren’t even married”. 

Kanchan giggled, “You’re too cute, Suman. It’s how the characters express their love for each other. They have a deep emotional bond. They both consent to it and respect one another so it doesn’t seem all that wrong. It’s just a book, don't think too much about it. Although personally, I would wait until marriage. You better not try anything like that with Shravan”. Suman’s face turned pink and she angrily threw her pillow at Kanchan. Suman thought to herself now she knows where Kancha gets all these stupid ideas...romantic novels are to blame!” 

Kanchan went to bed but Suman could not fall asleep. She kept thinking about the book and Kanchan’s words. She hated to admit but she felt a bit curious about what happened next. She quietly picked up the book from Kancha’s desk and blushed as she read the book. Suddenly, she got a message from Shravan. It was a selfie of him pouting with a caption saying: Good Night, Sumo. Have sweet dreams. She giggled to herself and sent back a picture saying: Good Night, Barbie Doll. She went back to reading her book and dangerous thoughts came into her mind. What if Shravan touched her like that? How would it feel? She quickly shut the book and shook her head trying to chase away those scandalous thoughts. She yawned and soon, she drifted off into her world of enchanting illusions.

Her giggles echoed in a meadow full of daisies as she twirled in her white, flowy dress. She turned around to see Shravan, in a light pink shirt, leaning against a blossom tree watching her with an enigmatic gaze. She ran to him and laced her arms around his neck. Suddenly, a cool breeze blew and Shravan drew her close, wrapping his arms around her to keep her warm. He smelled sweet like a jasmine flower alluring her closer to him. He planted a soft kiss on her forehead and picked her up into his arms. His intense chocolatey eyes, full of passion, seemed to hypnotize her. He gently placed her on a bed of daisies and kissed her collarbone. He undid the buttons of his shirt and she blushed. She gasped as he slid her dress off and grazed his soft fingertips along her body. His scent got stronger as he rolled on top of her and nuzzled her neck. As he moved closer and she felt unfamiliar sensations run through her body. Suddenly she heard a loud beeping in her ears. 

Suman woke up with a loud gasp covered in sweat and turned off her beeping alarm. She covered her face in disbelief, embarrassed of her vivid dream. Her phone beeped, it was a message from Shravan. It was a picture of him lazily smiling in bed, captioned: Good Morning. I hope you had a nice sleep. Her heart started thudding loudly and she put her phone away. She decided not to reply to his message. Suman avoided Shravan all day until he called her in the evening. “Hey, do you want to go see a movie together? I’m so bored. I hate staying home alone”. Suman slapped her forehead and remembered that Shravan’s parents had gone to Chandigarh for the weekend to visit a sick friend. She had promised him that they would go see a movie but now she didn’t want to see him. If he knew about her dreams, what would he think of her?

She stuttered, “Uh...actually, I don’t feel well today. Is it okay if we don’t hang out?” Shravan grew worried hearing she was not well but she lied saying she didn’t get enough sleep. Shravan was excited to go see a movie with her but he understood that she was tired and hid his disappointment. Suman sighed because she missed Shravan too but she didn’t know how to face him after that dream.

At night, Suman was having trouble falling asleep. She looked through her window and saw that Shravan’s bedroom light was on. She thought for a while and decided that maybe, she could untangle her thoughts if she talked to him. He seemed to understand her better than most people. Suman climbed down her terrace and entered his bedroom but became confused as it was empty. 

Just then, Shravan walked out of his bathroom and was shocked to see an intruder in his room. He screamed and threw a book at the person to defend himself. Suman turned around and yelled, “It’s me, you idiot! Seriously, you are such a scaredy-cat”. Shravan took a deep breath in relief seeing that the intruder was no other than his girlfriend. 

“Well, obviously I would be scared! I’m home alone and you snuck into my room like a thief. I thought I was going to be on the next episode of Crime Patrol”. Suman slapped Shravan’s arm and he asked how she got into his room. She pointed at the terrace. He shook his head, “I always forget to lock that door. Papa says that our house will be robbed one day because of me. So...what’s up? You’re usually asleep at this time”. 

Suman shrugged, “I couldn’t sleep and I saw your light on so I came here”. Seeing him, she started feeling the odd sensations from her dream again. What was happening to her?

He gave her a worried look and asked, “Is everything okay? You said you didn’t sleep well last night either”. Suman lied that she was worried about struggling in her chemistry class. Shravan smiled and gave her a hug. “It’s okay, cheer up. I actually understand the concepts so maybe we can study together”. He looked at her with a bright smile and handed her a game controller. “But, since you’re here. Let’s play your favorite video game”. They played the game for a while but then Shravan sighed and threw his controller aside as Suman wasn’t playing well. It seemed like her focus was somewhere else. His face softened when he saw her worried face. He nudged her elbow and gently asked, “Hey, did something happen? Do you want to talk about it?”

She softly asked for water and Shravan handed her his bottle. She took a sip and asked, “Have you ever had dreams?” 

Shravan replied in an amused voice, “Sumo, All humans have dreams. I know I don’t act like a normal human sometimes but yes, I have dreams too”. 

Shravan grabbed the bottle from Suman to take a sip. Suman took a deep breath, “No, I mean...have you ever had a dream about us?” Shravan choked on his water as he remembered the dream he had about Suman last night. Suman rubbed his back and he blushed as he nodded. She looked at him with big eyes and asked, “What happened in your dream?” 

He looked at her with shock and mumbled, “Why are you so interested in my dreams all of a sudden?” He reached for his controller and resumed his game as he felt shy. Suman tugged his arm and told him that he didn’t answer her question. Shravan ignored her and distracted himself with the game until Suman climbed onto his lap to block his view of the TV. 

He sighed in frustration because he knew she would not quit until she got her answers. He blushed and replied, “Well...sometimes they are romantic like us walking on a beach and sometimes it’s...umm...I can’t tell you. You’ll hit me”. 

Suman hid her face in his neck as she felt embarrassed and whispered, “I read this romantic book that Kancha recommended. You know, I don’t like romance but it was actually a really sweet love story but then the hero and the heroine...they did something that should be done only after marriage”. Suman paused and she felt Shravan stiffen. He knew where this conversation was going but he remained quiet. She continued talking, “But Kancha said that they didn’t do anything wrong because they love each other and it was both of their choice”. Shravan mumbled that he agreed with Kanchan. Suman took a deep breath and finished her thought, “Then, I had a similar dream about us. I feel so ashamed of myself for having such dreams”. 

Shravan smiled, “You don’t need to feel ashamed. We’re dating so it’s normal for us to be physically attracted to each other. If it makes you feel better, I’ve had similar dreams about us too”. Suman blushed but felt comfortable as Shravan didn’t make the conversation awkward. 

Suman bit down on her lip and asked, “How many girlfriends have you had before me?” 

Shravan thought to himself and said, “Umm...five? No, actually four. That one didn’t count. But, you’re my only serious relationship”. 

She took a deep breath, “Have you...umm...done it with any of them?” 

Shravan’s eyes grew wide even though he knew that she would ask. He shook his head and said, “No...how about you?” She shook her head back as Shravan had been the only boy in her life. 

She looked at him curiously and asked, “Why? Do you also believe that one should wait till marriage?” 

He shrugged, “Not necessarily. I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer. Everyone is free to think in their own way as long as they don’t push their beliefs on others. You believe that one should wait till marriage and that’s fine. On the other hand, Bunty is more casual and has had one night stands which is also fine. For me, if there is respect and trust between two people and they both consent without any manipulation, then it’s fine even if they aren’t married”. Suman was impressed hearing Shravan’s articulate thoughts. But, she grew confused as she knew that even his modern parents were conservative about such issues, so how did he form this opinion? He smiled and said, “We don’t have to believe everything that society says is right”. 

Shravan debated whether he should tell Suman about his past. Shravan gulped, “Do you remember at Anish’s party, I told you about a girl who asked me to kiss her and I got scared?” Suman nodded not understanding the connection of that girl to their conversation. Shravan sighed, “I didn’t tell you the whole story. I was fifteen and she was my senior so I felt really cool that I went on a date with her. She invited me to her house and I didn’t think much of it”. Suman looked at Shravan carefully as he paused and closed his eyes. He continued talking, “She kissed me even though I kept saying no. I kept pleading but she didn’t listen to me. Then, she told me we should go further and I said no again. She tried to tell me that it was okay because we loved each other and I was so infatuated with her that I almost gave in. But, I realized that I wasn’t comfortable and that it felt wrong so I left. I was really scared”. 

Suman wiped the tears off Shravan’s face and hugged him. She couldn’t believe that he went through something like that. She quietly asked, “Did she leave you alone after that?” 

Shravan shook his head and replied, “No...the next day she told everyone at school. People laughed at me and said I wasn’t man enough. She thought I would give into the pressure but I stood my ground. Bunty was the only person who said that I did the right thing. But, I was too concerned about what people thought about me so I made my fake image of Stud Malhotra so everyone would forget about that incident”. Suman fisted her hand in anger. If she ever meets this girl, she will rip her hair out for harassing her Shravan like that. Shravan sighed, “I wish I had more courage to stop her because she ended up being my first kiss. When I kissed you, it felt so different. Our feelings were real and we both wanted it equally. You asked for my permission before kissing me and I felt like a human and not a toy”. 

Suman placed a soft kiss on his lips. “I’m your first kiss not her. What she did to you was wrong and don’t blame yourself for it”. 

Shravan smiled sadly and whispered, “I haven’t talked about this to anyone else before, Sumo. But, now you know why I think the way I do. All I can say is, don’t let anyone force you into doing something you’re not comfortable with, okay?” 

She smiled, “I know, Shravan. You would never do that”. 

Shravan hesitantly said, “I know but if in the future, you’re with someone else. Just remember that, okay? I’m saying this as your friend”. Suman looked up in shock and felt upset that he would even think about them separating. She snuggled closer to him and mumbled that she wanted to stay with him forever. 

They quietly sat in each other’s embrace for a while and then Suman broke the silence. “Shravan, can I ask you something?” He smiled and nodded. She started breathing heavily and nervously stuttered, “What if I had asked you? Would you still have said no?” 

Shravan froze, hearing her question. He sat there silently for a while thinking to himself. He slowly shook his head. He gave a small smile and said, “No...it’s different because it’s you. We trust and respect each other so I would be okay with it. With that girl, I remember feeling so scared, but with you I would feel comfortable. But, I don’t know if we are ready for that sort of intimacy yet. Also, you firmly believe in waiting till marriage so let’s wait. Don’t let some book or dream sway your opinion. Our relationship will still be perfect even if we decide to wait”. 

Suman hid her face in his chest and whispered, “’I’ve never had such thoughts before but now suddenly I feel so curious to know how it would feel being so close to you. I want that dream to turn into reality. All my life I’ve been taught that I should wait until marriage but we will marry one day anyways so does it matter if it’s now or later?” Suman felt Shravan’s heart thudding loudly and tightened her arms around him. She felt intoxicated being so close to him and suddenly all the wrongs in the world felt right. She nuzzled his neck and murmured, “Shravan, can we? Please?” 

Shravan closed his eyes and bit down on his lip. He was losing control of his emotions. He pulled Suman back and cupped her face. “Think about it well, Sumo. Let’s not rush into anything. Are you sure you want this?” 

Suman wrapped her arms around his neck and whispered, “I don’t need to think about it again. It’s you and it’ll always be you, Shravan”. She leaned in and kissed him deeply. Shravan was taken aback by the passionate kiss but slowly he lost himself in her as he kissed her back. 

Suman gasped as Shravan slipped his hand under her shirt and gently caressed her waist. He moved back and said, “Look, we don’t have to do this if you’re not comfortable, okay?”

Suman shook her head trying to stabilize her breathing. “Umm...no...I want to do this. It’s just different. I’ve never done this before but I’ll get used to it”. She smiled and brought Shravan closer to her. She tugged on his shirt and slipped it over his head. Although he wasn’t muscular like in her dream, she still found herself drawn to him. She carefully watched Shravan as his cheeks were tinged pink and he kept looking down. Suman realized that this Shravan was so different from the Shravan in her dream. In her dream, Shravan was so bold and confident as he took her dress off. But, this Shravan seemed so shy and self-conscious as he instinctively brought his arm in front of his chest. She slowly asked him, “Are you okay?”

Shravan finally looked up to see Suman staring back at him with her big, innocent eyes. He slowly brought his arm down and held her head as he gently made her lie down on his bed. He felt his blood pounding against his veins as he saw her chest rise and fall under her shirt. He took a deep breath as his trembling fingers unbuttoned her night shirt. He felt so nervous that he wasn’t even sure if he could unbutton her shirt all the way. Suman tightly clutched his bedsheet and realized that it felt a lot more awkward compared to her dream or how they described it in the book. In the book, the hero swept the heroine away in his arms and they immersed themselves in each other. But, she and Shravan were so hesitant with each other. Although she wanted this, she felt nervous and wondered if Shravan felt the same. 

Shravan stopped breathing when he opened her shirt and took in the sight before him. She looked different from how he had imagined her in his dreams but he couldn’t take his eyes off her. She was beautiful. Suman suddenly felt really vulnerable the way Shravan gazed at her. She instinctively turned away and her breathing became erratic. She felt his warm hands grab her shoulder and turn her around. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in for a hug. They both felt a tingle go through their body as their bare skins touched. He rested his forehead against her and said, “We can stop whenever you want. I promise you, we won’t go any further if it makes you uncomfortable”. Suman smiled and placed a soft kiss on his lips. 

Suman pulled Shravan closer and dug her nails into his shoulders as he placed soft kisses along her collarbone. Her skin felt like it was on fire. She thought to herself how is he able to evoke such sensations in her? They started to feel more comfortable with each other and their hands started exploring each other’s bodies as if they were the depths of the ocean undiscovered by mankind. They got lost in each other’s touch when suddenly, Suman let out a moan and Shravan quickly moved back. He looked at her with a worried face and asked, “Did I hurt you?” Suman bit down her lip and vigorously shook her head in embarrassment. Even she didn’t know how that sound came out of her. 

He started to get up to leave but Suman grabbed his arm and he came back down crashing on the bed. She awkwardly whispered, “You didn’t hurt me. I don’t know what you did but...it felt good”. 

Shravan felt a blush creep up his cheeks and mumbled, “Oh...umm...okay”. Suman pulled him towards herself again and they continued showering each other with gentle touches and kisses. Shravan was so absorbed in the moment that he didn’t realize what he mumbled against her soft skin, “I love you so much, Sumo”. 

Suman gasped and froze upon hearing his love confession. Shravan looked up wide-eyed realizing what he had said. Suman stuttered, “Y-you love me?”

Shravan looked down as even he hadn’t admitted to himself that he had fallen for her. He slowly nodded and said, “I think so...I’ve never felt this way about anyone but you. I think it’s love”. Suman looked down shyly and whispered that she loves him too. They hugged each other and Shravan moved back to look into her eyes to ask for permission to go further and Suman slowly nodded. Suman looked confused as Shravan grabbed something from his drawer. His face flushed as he explained to her that Bunty had given it to him when they first started dating in case their relationship reached the next level. Shravan smiled, "I don't think we are ready to be parents yet so we have to be careful". Suman nodded in agreement and was glad that he thought of that because admist the passion, she had completely forgotten about using protection. He moved closer to her and they clutched onto each other tightly as they both completely surrendered themselves to one another. 

They laid next together softly panting and staring at the ceiling as they both felt too shy to look at each other. She finally broke the silence and said, “I’m glad we did this”. 

Shravan looked at her and smiled, “Me too”. Suman moved closer to Shravan and started drawing little hearts on his chest with her finger. He slowly asked, “Was it like how you imagined?” 

She giggled, “Well, in my dream you were a lot more like the hero in the book. But in reality, I think you were just as or more shy than me”. 

Shravan frowned, “Well, it was a new experience for me as well. I haven’t let anyone see this side of me before”. He felt a bit insecure thinking that he had disappointed her by not meeting her expectations. 

Suman sensed that Shravan was getting upset and kissed his forehead. She slowly said, “Well, I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. It was perfect because it was you”. Shravan smiled and his insecurities faded away. Suman bit her lip and asked, “How about you? Was it different from your expectations?” 

Shravan smirked, “Yeah...in my dreams you’re very seductive”. Suman’s eyes grew wide and Shravan laughed seeing her reaction. He continued talking, “But, I like us together just the way we are”. Suman blushed and then remembered that she should probably get back to her room before anyone notices that she’s missing. They got dressed and Shravan held her hand as she climbed down his terrace. He smiled as he watched his Spider-woman Sumo climb into her room. She turned around, waved to him, and ran into her room. He sighed thinking to himself, he will never forget this night.

----------------

A/N: So, I did not only step out of my comfort zone to write this rather I JUMPED OFF A PLANE to write this. I was very nervous about posting this because I haven't written anything like this bold. 

I realize that teenagers don't talk like this but I don't remember what it is like to be one anymore. Also, I tend to write Shravan as a perfect gentleman and which unfortunately, in reality not everyone is like this. In this chapter you can see that they are very innocent and naive and I tried to maintain that till the end when they are having a discussion. Also, I kinda tried to talk about how expectations and reality don't always match up. Movies and books seem to glamorize sex and then people end up getting the wrong idea. So, here they both expected the other to be really confident when in reality they are both nervous and awkward 

A common theme that I highlight in this chapter is consent! So, if your beliefs match Suman, Bunty, Shravan, or anything else...consent is required in all cases because consent = respect. Shravan's story tells that he felt violated because he was kissed without his consent and that's why throughout the story they keep asking for each other's permission and making sure the other is comfortable. This is applicable to all genders and ages regardless of marital status. I am not trying to push a right/wrong message here and I truly believe that everyone is free to believe what they want as long as they don't impose their views on others. 

*made slight modifications to the story after deciding that I wasn't going to write Pt 2. 

I'm sorry if you felt offended by reading this. If you think it should be marked Mature, please PM me. I tried to keep it very subtle. Sorry for grammar/spelling mistakes. Please comment/like and let me know what you think!