A Mishbir Story - Meri dhunon ka tarana tu update pt 3

Posted: 3 years ago

Something else I'm working on side-by-side with the other story. Only Mishbir in this one. It's hard because the stories start at different points, but I'm hoping I can write both. What do you think, should I continue?


***

Meri dhunon ka tarana tu


Background: Just before the show went on break. Abir is trying to get back to the resort. He can’t reach Mishti - his phone is dead and hers is engaged when he tries calling from a shop. Mishti is wondering if he really left her at the resort and went home. In this story, it was night when Abir, Kunal, and Kuhu left and still the same night when Abir is making his way back to the resort.


Note: The show’s timeline is really confusing to me. I have no idea why it was morning when Abir, Kunal, and Kuhu left the resort and night when Abir was making his way back (on foot!)!! 


Mishti looks at her phone again and then decides she can’t sit around and wait in the resort. If Ajeeb Rajvansh is still angry, it would be best to go home and sort this out soon. She walks to the gate and asks the watchman about taxis. 


M - Bhaiya yahan kahin taxi stand hai?


Watchman - Haan madam, bus stand ke paas zaroor honge. Aap yahan se sidha jayiye thodi der mein bus stand mil jayega.


 M - Thank you bhaiya.


Mishti starts walking, but on the way she hears signs of a struggle.


Unknown girl - Mujhe chodo!


Assailant 1 - Chup chaap aa jao. Kyun itna natak kar rahi hai?


Assailant 2 - Waise bhi, yahan koi nahi hai. Lagta hai tumhara aashiq nahi aaya. Humse kaam chala lena.


M - Usse chod do.


Assailant 1 - yeh deko, aur ek aa gayi hai!


One of them comes forward to grab Mishti. Mishti knocks him down. The other comes at her and while she’s fighting him, the first assailant tries to grab her from behind. She beats up both of them and in the process gets some bumps and bruises and a little cut from a knife one of them is holding. The other girl helps a little and while they are fighting, the other girl’s husband also comes and helps them. They find something to tie the two up.


Unknown girl - Thank you! Aap nahi hote toh mera bura haal hota. Mera naam Maya hai.


M - Main Mishti hoon. I’m glad ki main kuch help kar saki. Ab inko police ke hawale karna chahiye.


Maya’s husband - Haan. Hum resort mein pooch lete hain ki police station kahan hai. Aur shayad aap ko doctor ki zaroorat hai. Aapne meri wife ki madad ki - thank you so much! Mera naam Rakesh hai.


They walk back to the resort with the thugs and explain what happened to the watchman. The watchman says he can call the police, which he does. They decide to wait for the police at the Reception inside the resort. The thugs are tied up and locked up in the watchman’s shed. The police come to take the complaint. After they do,


Policeman (talking to Maya) - Aap sach mein bahut lucky hai madam. Hum inko police station mein aaj rakhenge. Kal aap log police station aake complaint mein sign kar dijiye aur Inspector se bhi mil lijiye.


Rakesh - Sir, humein kahin kamra nahi mil raha hai. Isiliye toh hum bus stand ke paas the. Main yeh dekhne ke liye gaya tha ki kahin aur raat ko rehne ke liye jagah milegi aur yeh sab ho gaya


M - Yahan pe mera kamara hai, aap dono usme reh lijiye. 


Maya  - Nahi nahi, hum aapka kamara nahi le sakte!


M - Main aur mere husband toh bahar pool ke paas hi the. Wahin raat guzaar loongi main, no problem. Kafi shock hua hai naa? Aaram se so jaiye kamre mein.


Receptionist - Humare on-call doctor hain, unko bula liya hai. Kya aapne aap ke husband ko call kiya? Woh aa rahe hain?


Mishti doesn’t want to think about Abir not picking up his phone.


M - Actually, call nahi jaa raha hai. Main thodi der baad try kar lungi.


Doctor comes and patches up Mishti’s cut and gives her something for the bruises. Abir comes up to the gate and finds that the watchman is happy to see him. Watchman assumes Abir has been told everything.


Watchman - Saab, accha hai aap itni jaldi aa gaye. Aapki biwi andar hain. Police toh statement le rahe hain aur doctor saab bhi abhi aaye hain. 


A - Kya?


Abir is very worried now and runs inside. He walks in just as the doctor is telling Mishti she’s lucky the knife didn’t cut any nerve since it was quite sharp and where she was cut was quite close to an important nerve. 


Doctor - Mrs. Rajvansh that was quite close. Thoda right mein hota toh aap…


M - Main theek hoon doctor.


A - Mishti!


M (looking towards the door) - Abir…


Abir runs to Mishti and hugs her.


A - Kya hua Mishti?

Edited by angelfire78 - 3 years ago
Posted: 3 years ago

dear change the title if possible, i already used for my story of mishbir and that too for resort track only

Posted: 3 years ago

Originally posted by ruhi19


dear change the title if possible, i already used for my story of mishbir and that too for resort track only


Oops...will do. For now, I'll just remove it and add a topic once I've thought of something.

Posted: 3 years ago

angry avatar and emotional update is an awesome combo...

Posted: 3 years ago

Originally posted by angelfire78



Oops...will do. For now, I'll just remove it and add a topic once I've thought of something.

no need to hurry...take ur time...

Posted: 3 years ago

dr u have a really differnt approach to situations yaara..bring it on..it s so gud..looking forward to more😳

Edited by Kendrix - 3 years ago
Posted: 3 years ago

Originally posted by Kendrix


dr u have a really differnt approach to situations yaara..bring it on..it s so gud..looking forward to more😳


Thanks Meera. It's good to finally put down what's revolving in my head. We'll see where it goes. 

Posted: 3 years ago

I'm trying to decide which way to best continue writing this story. If you have the time and patience, could you let me know whether you like the style in the first post (mostly as dialogue) better or this one below? Thanks so much!


Meri dhunon ka tarana tu


Background: Just before the show went on break. Abir is trying to get back to the resort. He can’t reach Mishti - his phone is dead and hers is engaged when he tries calling from a shop. Mishti is wondering if he really left her at the resort and went home. In this story, it was night when Abir, Kunal, and Kuhu left and still the same night when Abir is making his way back to the resort.


Mishti looks at her phone again and then decides she can’t sit around and wait in the resort. If Ajeeb Rajvansh is still angry, it would be best to go home and sort this out soon. 


She walks to the gate and asks the watchman about taxis “Bhaiya yahan kahin taxi stand hai?” “Haan madam, bus stand ke paas zaroor honge. Aap yahan se sidha jayiye thodi der mein bus stand mil jayega.” “Thank you bhaiya.”


Mishti starts walking, but on the way she hears signs of a struggle.

Unknown girl - Mujhe chodo!

Assailant 1 - Chup chaap aa jao. Kyun itna natak kar rahi hai?

Assailant 2 - Waise bhi, yahan koi nahi hai. Lagta hai tumhara aashiq nahi aaya. Humse kaam chala lena.

M - Usse chod do.

Assailant 1 - yeh deko, aur ek aa gayi hai. Ab hum dono ke liye theek rahega.


One of them comes forward to grab Mishti. Mishti knocks him down. The other comes at her and while she’s fighting him, the first assailant tries to grab her from behind. She beats up both of them and in the process gets some bumps and bruises and a little cut from a knife one of them is holding. The other girl helps a little and while they are fighting, the other girl’s husband also comes and helps them. They find something to tie the two up.


The girl thanks Mishti and introduces herself as Maya and her husband as Rakesh. Mishti also introduces herself. “I’m glad ki main kuch help kar saki. Ab inko police ke hawale karna chahiye.” They agree, and Rakesh says that they will enquire at the resort, and also see if they can get a doctor.


They walk back to the resort with the thugs and explain what happened to the watchman. The watchman calls the police. They decide to wait for the police at the Reception inside the resort. The thugs are tied up and locked up in the watchman’s shed. The police come to take the complaint. After they do, the policeman says they would have to come to the station the next day to sign the complaint and meet the inspector. Rakesh mentions they hadn’t been able to find a room to stay, and Mishti offers the room they had at the resort. They try to refuse, but Mishti insists.


The receptionist mentions that he has called the on-call doctor and checks with Mishti if Abir has been called. Mishti doesn’t want to think about Abir not picking up his phone, “actually, call nahi jaa raha hai. Main thodi der baad try kar lungi.”


The doctor comes and patches up Mishti’s cut and gives her something for the bruises. Abir comes up to the gate and finds that the watchman is happy to see him. Watchman assumes Abir has been told everything, and says, “Saab, accha hai aap itni jaldi aa gaye. Aapki biwi andar hain. Police toh statement le rahe hain aur doctor saab bhi abhi aaye hain.” “Kya?”


Abir is very worried now and runs inside. He walks in just as the doctor is telling Mishti she’s lucky the knife didn’t cut any nerve since it was quite sharp and where she was cut was quite close to an important nerve. Mishti says she feels fine.


“Mishti!” Mishti looks towards the door and sees Abir. Abir runs to Mishti and hugs her. “Kya hua Mishti?” “Kuch nahi Abir. Ek chota sa scratch.”


Edited by angelfire78 - 3 years ago
Posted: 3 years ago

Note: This conversation is more like a wish-fulfillment on my part about what I wish mishbir would talk about. It became more elaborate than I had intended. One of the things I love about mishbir is that they don't need all these explanations and conversations, but for those who don't have such a soulful understanding  sometimes these conversations help 😊 Hopefully, the next updates will be more light-hearted.


***


Abir runs to Mishti and hugs her.


A - Kya hua Mishti?


M - Kuch nahi Abir, ek chota sa scratch.


Doctor - Mrs. Rajvansh theek hain Mr. Rajvansh. Mujhe nahi lagta unko painkiller lena padega. Aap sirf aaj raat acche se aaram kijiye. Phir bhi, main paas hi hoon. Kuch chahiye toh bula lijiye ga.


A - Thank you doctor.


The doctor leaves.


Policeman - Aap kal station aake complaint mein sign kar dijiye. Aap theeno ko aana padega. Madam aap ne toh bahut bada risk liya tha. Accha hua sab theek tak nipat gaya. 


Maya - Haan Mishti. Thank you so much. Aap nahi hoti toh meri bahut buri haal hoti


Rakesh - Thank you so much! Aap ke husband bhi aa gaye hain ab. Aap ka room…


M - Nahi nahi. Hum theek hain. Aap jayiye.


Maya - Are you sure?


M - Haan very sure. Kyun Abir?


A - Tum theek ho toh mujhe koi problem nahi hai.


Maya and Rakesh take the room keys and leave. Policeman also takes his leave.


Receptionist - Actually woh aap ne doosra room jo book kiya tha woh ab ready hai. Aap wahin reh sakte hain.


A - Thank you!


Abir and Mishti go to the room. Abir has Mishti sit on the bed to check out her wounds, then he holds her hands tightly with his own. 


A - Arre yaar, tum aise kyun karti ho? Tumhe kuch ho jata toh? Mujhe pata hai tumhare paas woh majenta belt hai lekin


M - Brown belt


A - OK brown belt. Kya zarurat thi itni raat ko bahar jaane ki?


M - Woh main taxi lene bus stand tak ja rahi thi aur resort ke bahar do gunde Maya ko trouble kar rahe the, toh maine uski help ki.


A - Mishti, I’m so sorry. Mujhe aisa tumhe chodke nahi jana chahiye tha. Hamari jhagda hui aur main yahi scoh raha tha ki...actually sach toh ye hai ki main gusse mein kuch soch hi nahi pa raha tha.


M - I’m also sorry Abir. Maine hi toh kaha tha ki main tum logo ke saath nahi aaungi. Phir bhi, I didn’t really mean that. Main bhi gussa ho gayi thi aur tumhari baat hi nahi suni. Maa se baat karke problem maine start kiya tha but maine maa ko call nahi kiya.


A -  Lekin tumne bhi sahi kaha, maa ko nahi jeetne dene main itna focused ho gaya ki tumhare kehne ke baad bhi nahi pehchaana ki isme hum haar rahe hain.


M - Ek baat puchu? Tum kyun maa pe itna focused ho? Kyun Kunal ko push kiya ki woh sabke samne maasi ko accept karen? Usne toh khud ye fully accept nahi kiya hai, ab sab ke saamne baat aa gayi.


Abir closes his eyes and leans against the headboard still holding Mishti’s hands. Mishti moves to sit next to him. 


A - Tumhe toh ab pata hai Mishti, isi sach ko use karke maa ne mujhse hamara rishta tudvaya tha. (Looking at Mishti) Mujhe pata hai jo maine uss din kaha, tumhe bahut hurt kiya, par main...


M - I understand Abir. 


A - Maine socha ki mujhse door rehkar tum apni khushi phir doond legi, lekin jab aisa hua, toh main tumhe Nishant ke saath nahi dekh saka. Aur phir off-site pe jo hua, uske baad tumse baat karne wala tha lekin Nanko ko sach pata chal gaya aur…


M - Mujhe Kunal ko gusse mein aise nahi batana chahiye tha. I couldn’t believe ki maine itne insensitively usse sach bataya. Isliye main tumhein phone karke batane ko try kar rahi thi lekin jab finally hum mile toh tum kuch sunne ke liye tayyar hi nahi the. 


A - Sach bolun toh jab bhi maine tumhe Nishant ke saath dekha toh main itna jealous ho gaya ki kuch sunne ke liye ready nahi tha. Lekin woh market mein maasi se milne ke liye jab maine tumpe chillaya toh Kuhu ne bola mujhse ki Nanko ne Nishant ke saath kya kiya aur ye bhi kaha ki main tumse door rahun. Uske baad toh mujhe tumse baat karni thi par...


M - Par meri chitti? Tumne toh...


A - Jo maine tumhare samne phoda, woh tumhari likhi chitti nahi thi Mishti. Maa ne usse badal diya tha. Mujhe baad mein pata chala. Lekin maine der kar di aur tumne Nishant ke saath shaadi ke liye haan kar di.


M - Theen mahino se mujhe yahi baat himmat de rahi thi ki tum mujhse pyaar karte ho. Jab mujhe laga ki main galat thi, toh main toot gayi Abir. Aur bade-papa iss shaadi ke liye insist kar rahe the. Maine  socha maine mere liye galat decision liya hai, shayad woh mere liye sahi decision le rahe hain.

 

A - Unke jald-baazi ke peeche bhi maa ka hi haath tha.


M - Kya?


A - Maine unhe aur badi-maa ko baat karte hue suna. Maa ne unhe dhamki di thi aur woh tumhare liye darr gaye. Maa kuch bhi karne ke liye ready thi. Yaad hai Kuhu ne mujhse baat karne ke liye tumhe convince kiya? 


M - Tum nahi aaye.


A - Haan, kyon ki maa ne jhoote ilzaam pe Parul maasi ko arrest karvaya tha aur mujhe phir se dhamki di ki main kisi aur se shaadi kar loon.


M - Kya?


A - Tumse baat karne ke baad woh Nanko aur maine saath handle kar liya. Nanko aur Kuhu ne meri bahut madad ki yaar.


M - Kuhu ne tumhari madad ki, lekin woh ab bhi mujhse iss baat pe naraaz hai ki maine Nannu se shaadi nahi ki.


A - Mishti, kisi ne expect nahi ki ke uss din itna kuch ho jayega. 


M - Agar Nannu ko sach pata hota, agar woh phir se alcohol nahi leta...tumhe pata nahi Abir ki main kitni guilty feel karti hoon ki meri waje se.


Abir feels tormented to see that Mishti is blaming herself yet again for something that is not her fault.


A - Tumhari waje se kuch nahi hua Mishti. Haldi ke din Nishant ne sirf pene ka natak kiya tha, aur woh bhi uski nahi maa ki idea thi.


M - Kya? Lekin Nannu maa ki baat kyun manega? Use pata tha ki tum...?


A - Haan, maine tumse baat karne se pehle usse baat ki thi


Mishti is looking sad at these revelations.


A - Haan. Maine nahi bataya kyunki…


M - Tum nahi chahte the ki main apne best friend se naaraz ho jaon aur isliye uss din mandir mein ghanti baja rahe the.


A - Main toh partner se madad maang raha tha tumhe yeh kehne ke liye lekin finally tab nahi bataya. Waise hi jaise tumne mujhe baba ke baare mein nahi bataya. 


M - Abir woh...


A - Main janta hoon Mishti, tumne akele sab pata kiya. Mere baba ki waje se tum danger mein thi aur pata hai, maa ko bhi ye pata tha aur unhone tumhari madad nahi ki, balki ye bhi use kiya.


M - Mujhe tumse baat karni chahiye thi lekin main hope kar rahi thi ki mera soch galat niklein. I’m sorry Abir ki iss maamle mein hum dono ka naseeb ek nikla.


A - Baba ke aise hone se mujhe bahut bura laga. Maine socha main itne saalon maa se iss aadmi ke liye lad raha tha. Main toh poora koshish karne wala tha ki ghar mein sab se jaise maine behave kiya unke waje se, main woh sab ke liye make up karoon. Main bahut khush tha, aur phir jaise toofan aaya. Maa ne pehle yeh bola ki tumhe baba ke baare mein sab pata hai aur jab main nahi maana, toh unhone mere samne Nanko ki sacchayi sab ke samne kholke usse aur Parul maasi ko ghar se nikalne ki dhamki di. Maasi haath jod rahi thi mere samne aur Nanko ke liye maa sab kuch hai, toh mujhe samajh mein nahi aaya ki main kya karoon. Time bhi nahi tha, toh maine…


M - Abir main toh uss din se tumhare behavior ki waje doond rahi thi. Maine kabhi nahi maana ki tum mere baare mein woh sab sochte ho. Lekin…


A - Lekin kya? 


M - Mujhe darr lagta hai ki tum aisa sochne lage toh?


A - Mishti maine tumse kaha hai na. Main tumhare baare mein aisa kabhi nahi soch sakta. Maine dekha hai tum family ke liye kya kya kar sakti ho. Main sirf maa ke tension mein baaki sab dekh nahi raha tha. I’m sorry. Hamari shaadi ko hue char din hi toh hue hain. Main nahi chahta ki kisi bhi issue ko lekar hamare beech misunderstangings ho jaye. Main maa ko koi opportunity nahi dena chahta hamare beech prolems create karne ki. Tumne toh Nanko ko company wapas dekar woh probelm shuru hone se pehle solve kiya. Maine Nanko ko bhi push kiya ki sab ke samne sach bol de kyunki main nahi chahta hoon ki maa woh secret ab kabhi bhi use karein.


M - I’m sorry Abir. Tum maa ke baare mein soch ke itne tension mein the aur main aur Kuhu…


A - Nahi Mishti. I’m sorry. Meri waje se Kuhu se tum ko ye sab sun na pada. Main aur Nanko toh Kuhu aur tumhare beech ke problems ko solve karne ki try kar rahe the. Jaise tum dono ek dusre ke saath the holi ke din, maine socha agar tum log kisi baat pe ek ho jaoge toh sab theek ho jayega.


M - Abir, tumhe yaad hai tumne kaha tha ki agar ghar mein koi upset hai toh tumhe chot lagti hai aur tum band-aid laga dete ho? 


A - Haan


M - Lekin Kuhu aur mere beech jo problems hain, woh koi choti si scratch nahi ki band-aid lagaye aur theek ho jaye. Agar cut deep hai toh band-aid se kaam nahi hoga Abir. Ve itni aasani se theek nahi honge.


A - Ab main sun raha hoon Mishti. Mujhe pata hai tumhare beech relationship acchi nahi hai lekin tumne suna na ki usne meri kitni madad ki? Aur tab jab uske aur Nanko divorce karne wale the. Kuhu ne theen mahine ghar mein sab ko itne acche se manage kiya…


M - Kuhu ki problem hamesha se mujhse hi tha aur abhi bhi hai Abir. Jab se badi-maa aur bade-papa mujhe ghar laye use lagta hai ki maine uska position cheen liya aur ab bhi use yahi darr hai ki main sasural mein bhi wohi karungi. Maine shaadi ke din usse truce karne ki baat ki thi aur usne bhi agree kiya lekin...


A - Uske baad kya hua Mishti?


M - Shayad maine hi truce thod di. Main usse bahut naraz thi ki woh haar tootne ko leke. Maine usse kaha ki woh mahashivratri puja mein interfere nahi karegi aur baat manne ke badle usne coffee mein pills mila di


A - Mishti, woh toh galti se hua na?


M - Galti se hi haar bhi toota Abir. Sab galti ek jaise nahi hote. Galti se haar toota, shayad maine over-react kiya, lekin mere request poori karne mein problem kya thi? Uske badle usne pills milake mujhe sulana chaha.


A - Tumhe?


M - Yehi kaha usne, jab maine poocha ki woh tumhare saath aise kaise kar sakti hai - ki usne socha ki coffee main piyungi. Tumhe pata bhi hai tum kitna beemaar the? Kitni darr gayo thi main? Phir bhi, tumne uss baat ko chodne ke liya kaha so maine chod diya. Company bhi Kunal ko wapas de di. Ab maasi aur Kunal ki sach sabke samne aa gayi, uske liye bhi mujhe hi blame kar rahi hai. Agar usse pata hota ki tumne kiya, toh woh aise react nahi karti. Isiliye bol rahi hoon, Kuhu aur mere beech ke problems itni aasani se theek nahi honge. Yahan tumhara band-aid theory work nahi hoga. Yahi toh main tumhe samjhne ki koshish kar rahi thi.


A - OK, shayad tum theek keh rahi ho. Par main ye bhi jaanta hoon ki maa ye jaanti hain ki tumhare aur Kuhu ke beech problems hain aur woh koshish kareingi ki ye aur badd jayen aur tum dono aapas mein jhagda karo. 


M - Toh tum hi batao kaise resolve karein? Itne saalon se humne naatak kiya ki hum best friends hain par ab toh sabko hamare beech ka relationship pata hai. Aur phir, itne saalon se chupane se hamare beech misunderstandings aur bhi bad gaye ki hum dono hi ek dusre ko trust nahi karte.


Mishti sounds exhausted and defeated. Abir looks at her and decides this would not be the best time to continue the conversation.


A - Iske baare mein baad mein baat karenge. Mujhe lagta hai isse resolve karne ke liye Nanko aur Kuhu se bhi khulke baat karna padega. Ab hum so jate hain, tumhe chot lagi hai aur raat bhi bahut ho gayi. 


M - OK, kafi thak gayi hoon. 


They go to sleep in each other’s arms. The next morning Abir calls Kunal and tells him what happened and that they may be delayed leaving. Kunal says he will manage at home.


They go to the police station with Maya and Rakesh and sign the complaint. They return to the hotel, pack up and rent a car to drive back home.

Posted: 3 years ago

show mein tho milne se na raha... atleast i enjoyed mishbir convo here...



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