**Her Old Wounds**
The situation is such that Abir does leave Mishti at the resort. But as he is getting closer to home, he feels restless and is sick worried about Mishti. He realizes he shouldn't have just left Mishti at the resort. He thinks that since they are already close by, he will drop off Kunal Kuhu and head back to the resort to pick her up.
As Kunal and Kuhu are getting off the car, they see a taxi stop by and Mishti gets out of the taxi. Abir is surprised to see her. As Mishti is paying the taxi driver, Kunal approaches her and asks if she is ok. Kunal with little annoyance, "Mishti, if you were ready to come home, why didn't you just come with us?" Mishti with a straight face and tears in her eyes "I was ready Kunal. I didn't know that waiting for 2 mins for me was a big deal. You guys left. I thought maybe you guys just didn't want me around" looking towards Abir. Abir looks down with guilt. "Anyways, let's go inside." Abir is about to say something to Mishti but Parul and Nanu approach them. They are happy to see the kids and they all put a smile to make sure no one can smell the issues that just cropped up between them. Everyone walks inside and they are greeted by Meenakshi. Kunal apologizes to Meenu for not informing her about his trip and they go back to discussing their business.
Mishti walks away quietly to their room. She gets to unpacking their stuff and Abir slowly walks in. As soon as Abir tries to get close to her, she walks away. Abir tries to make small talks with her but isn't really successful in getting any response from her. Abir decides to not beat around the bush and just apologize for leaving her but a call interrupts him. He closes his eyes in frustration and sees Badi ma's name on his screen. He immediately composes himself and answers the call. "Abir, how are you beta?" Badi ma asks with concern. "I am doing good Badi ma" Abir pressuring on Badi ma just so that Mishti can look towards him. "How about you?"
"I am doing good Badi ma" Abir pressuring on Badi ma just so that Mishti can look towards him. Abir noticed as Mishti briefly paused what she was doing, before continuing to unpack her things "How about you?"
"I am good, beta. Actually, I have been trying to reach Mishti for quite a while. I just got a little worried about her and thought to call you instead. Is she around you? Is she ok?" asks a concerned mother.
Abir glanced over at Mishti, overcome with guilt, realising that Mishti must have been avoiding speaking to Rajshri incase she suspected something was going on between the two of them. Rajshri asks again and that brings Abir back from his thoughts and he makes his way over towards Mishti as he responds, "Yes Badi ma. Everything is ok. Your daughter is right next to me. She was just cleaning the room and maybe that's why she didn't pay attention on her phone." Abir takes his phone closer to Mishti and informs Rajshri that she is on speaker. Mishti stops what she's doing & looks down at the phone, refusing to make eye contact with Abir as Rajshri gets a little mad at her for not answering the call and tells her how after marriage she has just forgotten them. She glances up at him briefly, meeting his gaze as his eyes fill with remorse, before looking down, for shame.
Mishti with little regret in her voice responds, "Badi ma. There is no way I can forget you and Bade papa. Do I even have anyone else other than you two?" Abir's heart breaks when he hears Mishti say that. He wants to pull her in a hug but he knows he has made this situation far too delicate with his impulsive behavior. "Why could I just not wait or approach her again? Why did I have that ego?" Abir gets mad at himself. Rajshri feels something is wrong but doesn't dwell much into it when Mishti distracts the discussion towards the reason for her call. Rajshri informs Mishti about the upcoming Ghanguar festival and how she wants to celebrate it nicely since its Mishti's and Kuhu's first ghanguar. She informs them how she has already spoken to Meenu about it and both the girls need to come to Maheshwari house tonight since they have to begin the prep early tomorrow morning. As the call ends, Mishti steps out of the room before Abir can even say anything. Abir realizes the extent to which he would have possibly hurt Mishti but he decides to make it up to her anyhow. He wants to make sure everything is ok between them before their ghanguar festival. He wouldn't want to celebrate their day of love with so much stress and tensions around them. He decides to go to Maheshwari's house with the girls so he can have as much time as possible to talk to Mishti and apologize to her and sort out the issues between them. As Abir gets ready to leave with the girls, much to the girl's surprise, Kunal decides to join them too, much to Meenu's annoyance. Meenu decides to handle Kunal IN her way once he is back from the ghanguar festival.
The car ride to Maheshwari Sadan was pretty awkward and filled with silence amongst the couple. All three of them were pretty affected by her silence. They tried to make their small talks regarding the festival and the details about it but got no response from Mishti. Mishti just kept looking outside the window. Kunal asks Mishti if she would help him with the rituals as he knows Kuhu might not be of any help, much to Kuhu's offense, Mishti just vaguely says yes and looks away. As they reach, all four of them step out of the car. While Kunal and Kuhu walk towards the door, Abir helps Mishti with her dupatta that got stuck with the car door. Mishti is about to say something when she hears Kuhu scream with excitement, "OMG! #bestsurpriseever! Badi Dadi! Choti Dadi!". Realizing that Singhania's have arrived for the festival, Mishti just freezes with shock. Abir notices the change in expressions on her face. They then hear Kuhu scream names of their cousins. He wasn't able to judge whether Mishti was happy listening to that or sad. Frankly, even Mishti wasn't able to decide on that. As much as she was ok with her cousins, she was definitely not ok with the elders of that family. As much as she would have wanted to meet her cousins, she definitely didn't want to meet her Dadi, Badi Dadi, Dadu, and Tayaji. She just still hasn't been able to come to terms and found a way to forgive them for giving her way to Maheshwari's the way they did. Mishti closed her eyes with frustration and a lone tear slide down her cheek. Abir extends his arm to rub off that lone tear but they hear everyone walking out and Mishti just rubs off her tear, to make sure no one notices it. Mishti puts on a strong, smiling face in front of everyone. She lovingly greets her cousins Naira, Gayatri, Naksh, her Bff Kartik and her jiju Samarth. She gets down on her knees to greet and hug her nephew, Kairav and Vansh. As the elders approach them, Abir bends down to get their blessings while Mishti just folds her hands and greets them "Radhe Krishna". While not everyone paid attention, Rajshri and Abir understood Mishti's actions and hence to not make things more awkward, Rajshri requested everyone to go inside the house and they can continue the chit chat.
Singhania kids then decided to go back in their past and share their stories about Mishti and Kuhu with Abir and Kunal. Since Mishti stayed with Singhania's more, they had more stories about Mishti to share than Kuhu, which wasn't really liked by Kuhu. Kartik and Naira especially made Mishti feel really special. They felt that more than anyone, it was Mishti who had the most rights on them and their son. It was because of her"KaiRa" even existed. Some stories of Mishti surprisingly shocked Abir but he knew that his angry chorni was always special. So her stories will be as hatke as she is. He felt very proud of how proud KaiRa were about Mishti and how at such a tender age, she understood what love was. He smiled at himself thinking how even after that, he had to do things to make her realize their love for each other. He looked towards her. Her silence, her sadness beneath her smile wasn't hidden from him. He decided to do everything in his power to make her feel special and bring back that long lost smile back. As everyone decided to sleep, Kairav and Vansh insisted on sleeping with Mishti Masi and Abir Mausa, as they both wanted to hear Mishti's version of Kartik's and Naira's love story. Since they were newlyweds, both Naira and Gayu stopped the kids from being stubborn but Mishti insisted to let them sleep with her. She thought maybe this is the only time she is going to get with the kids.
"Mishti, this isn't the first and last time you are going to meet the kids. You can surely visit us. Kids would love to have you around" mentions Samarath lovingly.
Mishti just smiled towards him and said "Of course Jiju. But the paths which leave me behind, I look upon them as a point of no return." Noticing the silence in the room that her sentence created, Mishti covers up by saying "I don't know when I will come and now everyone is so busy in their own life that it is obviously difficult for us to meet every now and then. So whatever time and moments I will get with them, I will use them to the best of my ability". Everyone smiled while Devyani exactly knew what Mishti meant and why. She was guilty. She definitely was. She wanted to make it up to Mishti. She wanted to embrace her and ask for an apology. But she didn't know whether she even had that right anymore and looked towards Rajshri. Rajshri just closed her eyes and signaled her to not worry and that everything will be ok.
After Vansh, Kairav retired to sleep in between Mishti's stories, Mishti decided to step out and get some water. Since the kids would be alone, Abir decided to stay back and wait for Mishti to come back so that he could have just one on one conversation with her. While Mishti is heading towards the kitchen, she stops hearing some conversations going on between Rajshri, Devyani, and Bhabhima.
"Rajshri Ji, these are some gifts we got for Mishti. Actually we got for both of them. We couldn't come to their wedding and this is their first Ghanguar. And obviously, as a family, we should be giving something to the girls. I have been saving all these jewelry for my Mishti. I know Kuhu will take them but Mishti?. She isn't going to accept them from us. She is too angry at us. If you can just take it from us and give it to her on behalf of us as our blessings. please" requested Devyani. "I know, I don't have any rights over Mishti. I gave everything away to you. But she is still my grandchild. And I want to do something for her. Please, Rajshri Ji. Don't say no"
Rajshri was in two minds. When she was about to say something to Devyani, she looks towards the door and notices Mishti standing with anger and tears in her eyes. Devyani and Bhabhima look in the same direction and finds Mishti and both of them look down in shame.
Abir thought Mishti was taking too much time in coming back to the room. He tucked pillows around the boys and decided to go look for her.
Mishti composes herself, drinks her own saliva as if she is trying to control her anger as much as possible and talks to Rajshri, "Badi ma. I don't want to put you in the middle of anything. I am not going to ask you to do anything for me. Because you and Bade Papa have already done enough. You know I can do anything for you and Bade Papa. If you both ask me to give up on my life, I would. You know that right?" Mishti looks towards Rajshri and Rajshri nods in approval with tears in her eyes and cups Mishti's face with her hands.
Mishti turns towards Devyani and begins "I would request you to stop burdening my mother with more responsibilities. Don't you think you have done enough already?" folding her hands in front of them. With that Abir arrives in the room and is confused, looking at everyone's faces.
"Mishti, I am sorry, I was just... I just wanted to give you something. And beta, this is your right. You deserve this. I wouldn't have been at peace if I didn't do this much for you" said Devyani with as much sincerity as possible.
Mishti, again taking a moment to compose herself, "My right? You are worried about my rights? And what I deserve?" questioning Devyani and directly looking into her eyes. "Where was this worry about my rights when you decided to give me away? 14 years ago! 14 damn years. Where was your worry then? Did you call me? Did you check up on me? Did you ask me?" Mishti continues to question Devyani with tears brimming in her eyes. "Mishti, I didn't give up on you beta. I love you. You are my grandchild. Rajshri Ji informed me everything. I knew you were in safe hands. They have done so much justice to your upbringing. Something that I wouldn't have been able to do myself" says Devyani with guilt.
"You don't have to tell me how well my Bade Papa and Badi Ma have brought me up. I am asking you something. Did you ask me? Did you speak to me? Did you ask them? 14 years ago, you made a decision for me. Without even asking me. You, Badi Dadi, TayaJi, Dadaji. You guys just decided to outcast me from your life and never looked back. Didn't ask me anything then. Didn't call me after to even know whether I was happy. Didn't care to know. And now, all of sudden, out of nowhere you are worried about my rights? " Mishti threw one accusation after the other.
"It's not all of a sudden Mishti. She has always loved you. She has always craved for you. Prayed for your wellbeing. I have seen it" Bhabhima says sternly, with tears filled in her eyes.
"And what did she do about it? Let herself suffer. Let me suffer. Let them suffer." Pointing towards Rajshri. "So much so that she never spoke to me on the phone. Forget any normal days. Even for my birthdays." Mishti spoke with desperation.
"No Mishti. We did call you then. You would never come on the phone" Devyani begs Mishti to listen to her with innocence.
"I WAS A CHILD" screams Mishti in pain and shocks everyone around her. "I was a child. I thought if I would not talk, it will bring you all to me. It will bring my dad, you or anyone from the Singhania household to meet. To take me back." cries Mishti. "Do you know how many birthdays I have just spent in hope that one of you will come? Do you know how many birthdays I have waited by the door for someone to come? Do you know how many birthdays they have waited for me to accept the reality and happily celebrate it with them?" Rajshri looks towards Mishti with tears, wanting to console her child but in vain. She knew something was off today. And nothing could stop her daughter from crying her pain out today. Abir also wanted to just hug Mishti. He knew somewhere he was responsible for her outbursts and he had to somehow let her pain out once and for all.
"I used to be the princess of that house. I used to help everyone. I used to love everyone. I never ever wished anything bad for anyone. I loved everyone. I supported everyone. Even when I didn't know any better, I knew as a family I should help and be there. Why was anyone not there for me when I needed them the most? When I became an outcast from the family, why did anyone not oppose it? Why did anyone not go against you and bring me back? You decided to leave me and in a matter of seconds as if I just didn't exist for anyone. When everyone was talking about how important I was to the Singhania family, I felt nothing. Because I know if I did matter to anyone, they would have come for me earlier. But no one did." cries Mishti.
"No Mishti beta. You are as important to us as other kids are" says Bhabhima in desperation.
"Naira di leaves her house and the entire family looks for her and prays for her to come back. Even if it meant to look for her for years. They would bring her back. Everyone knew I was sent against my wish. Everyone knew or didn't know where I was. And yet no one cared. I can definitely see the equality here Badi Dadi. Don't try to fool me." Mishti says in anger.
Devyani feels sad and guilty over Mishti's accusations on the family and decides to take full responsibility. "Mishti, I understand you are mad. You have all the right in the world to be. But if you want to be mad. Just stay mad at me. They aren't at fault. I had told them to stay away from you. I wanted you to stay from the family and from the Singhania household. That too just to protect you"
"Protect me from what exactly?" questions Mishti with curiosity.
"From your father Mishti. From this society" says Devyani, in desperation to be understood. Abir and Rajshri feel bad at Devyani's condition but they know there is nothing stopping Mishti today.
On hearing Devyani's claims, Mishti starts fake laughing. Abir and Rajshri get worried about Mishti's reaction and approach her to see if she is okay. But Mishti avoids looking at them. "Did you hear Badi ma? She was trying to protect me from my dad? From this society?" and continues to laugh but her tears cannot stop flowing out of her red puffy eyes.
Walking towards Devyani "Breaking news Mrs. Singhania! The trouble that you tried to protect me from, followed me to Rajkot. You might have successfully saved your Singhania Family from that trouble. But you couldn't save me." Devyani looks towards Mishti and Rajshri in shock and confusion. She doesn't know what Mishti is talking about. Mishti sees her shocked look and continues. "Oh! Looks like you don't know anything, Mrs. Singhania. Looks like your friend didn't inform you about this. My father!! No!! Your son followed me to Rajkot and troubled my Badi Ma for money. Blackmailed and got money out of her for years and she did give him that to protect me from him. So that he wouldn't take me away from her. She protected me from that monster. She took care of me. Something that you should have done for me. She and Bade Papa had all the more reason to get rid of me. I was the daughter of the man who tried hurting their son in law. The constant reminder of the pain my father caused them. But they didn't let that affect them. They didn't throw me out like I was some trash. In fact, they engulfed me as if I was their own. For the longest time, I couldn't do justice to their love. I couldn't love them back the same way they loved me. Because I was scared. I was scared that they would throw me out like I was some piece of trash, like you did. As you didn't ask me, you didn't ask them. They had to take me in because you told them to. They couldn't give any attention to anyone else because they were busy taking care of me. They were busy helping me make sense of this new life you just threw me into. They couldn't pay attention to their own family. Kuhu deserved their undivided attention but she had to share it with me. She had to share her whole family with me. This family actually got divided because of me. Yes, they are amazing. They loved me like no one ever can. But did they deserve it? Did they deserve the pain I caused them? Did they deserve the time they had to wait for me to accept them? Was it fair to any one of us? Was it fair that I wasn't able to get over the fear of being abandoned by them one day?" Mishti cries.
"And what society are you talking about? Again, you might have protected your family from any humiliation that your son caused. You couldn't protect me. Even after sending me miles away, society taunted me. Are you interested in knowing the names I was bestowed upon by this society? " Rajshri and Abir try to stop Mishti but in vain. "Let me list it out for you. I have been called a home breaker. I have been called a thief, charity case, dog, burden, etc, etc by this society. Such amazing names right? Now how do I go tell this society that whoever decided to break my family, didn't even bother to ask me once? How do I prove it to the world that I am not that person? My Bade Papa and Badi Ma taught me to not be affected by it. But it does affect me. Because you just cannot understand why you are getting hurled with so many accusations without being responsible for anything? You tell me! Why was I blamed? Why am I always being questioned? Why is my love and my upbringing always being questioned? Why do people find things wrong with me when my family couldn't take care of me? Why? Do you have any answers to this? Tell me! Please tell me!" Mishti cries and falls down on her knees. Rajshri goes to her daughter and just pulls her into her embrace. She quietly requests her to calm down and just kisses her head. "I don't know what you had in your mind, Mrs. Singhania. I don't know" her words trailed off in between her sobs
Rajshri's heart cries for Mishti as she cradles her in her arms: Just as she had done when she first came to her; her child who needs all the love and all the care that she could offer her. All the love she deserves, as Mishti continues to sob bitterly in her arm
Mishti tries to compose herself, gets up and decides to leave the room. As she walks out, Devyani stops her, walks towards her and folds her hands with guilt and shame and says "I am sorry Mishti. I am absolutely sorry. I didn't know all of this. I didn't know that in my means of wanting to protect you, I threw you under deeper shit. I was scared and I was weak. I didn't know whether what I was doing was right or not. I just knew Rajshri Ji and Vishambhar Ji would have taken the best care of you and I can see they did. They brought up you so well. You are their shadow. The spitting image of Akshara. If she were alive today, she would have been so proud of you. But that doesn't mean, I didn't make any mistake. Maybe I did become overtly ignorant towards this. I didn't want to become weak and go back on my decision of giving you away to them. And hence, I did everything in my power to stay away from you and made sure everyone from the Singhania family stayed away from you. Trust me Mishti. I had no ill intentions. I just wanted the best for you. I was weak, Mishti. Please forgive me" Devyani pleads in front of Mishti.
"Mishti, it was a big sacrifice Devyani made for her family," says Bhabhima with despair. Mishti looks towards her with shock
"This is good. If parents make a wrong decision when they are weak, it's their sacrifice. If we as kids act out in our weakest times, we are stubborn. We are bad children. You know, for the longest time, I couldn't even bring myself to be stubborn or weak. It was my fear that didn't let me feel any of it. You want to give me that jewelry and my right and shit right? I can accept that on one ground! Can you bring me my 14 years of life back? Can you?" asks Mishti with desperation.
Devyani and Bhabhima look down with shame and Mishti responds, "I thought as much. You might love me. You might care for me. But it didn't reach me. It broke me. It hurt me beyond measures. And I am sorry but at this point, there is nothing that can help me forget my 14 years of wait and pain. If you want me to accept that jewelry, I will. But let me tell you. They will be a constant reminder for me of those 14 years of pain you made me go through".
When Mishti is about to walk out again, Devyani stops her and questions, "Would you ever be able to forgive us Mishti?"
"I don't know. You know, it hurts more when someone you least expect it from, hurts you that way. You are, were my dadi. Dadi's are supposed to love their grandkids more than anyone else. Did you not love me that much? Or was your love so weak that you were able to let go of me?" Abir looks down with guilt. He knows Mishti's words also indicated towards him leaving her alone at the resort.
Whatever the case would be, she would have never expected him to leave her alone. Maybe he opened those 14 years old wounds that she was desperately trying to keep closed. He opened those wounds, the family coming over like this, her breakdown had to happen. And Abir realized he had to do far more repair to the damage than he had imagined.
Edited by .IamShonali. - 4 years ago
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