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Originally posted by: GameitrorI love Shehnaaz and have rooted her during BB. I have made some keen observations and would like to share these here, I would love people’s view on this.
When you watch Shehnaaz on screen , you relate to her, you laugh along her and you feel what she feels. She kind of has Shane Dawson-sy sort of connect ( American youtuber- I am hope I am not being overboard here ) and I want her to succeed, really see her flourish but what makes Shehnaaz different from others is that she chose love ,she chose to be a giver and most importantly, after all that she has been through, she chose to retain her true self and when she had all the reasons in the world to not do so. I really hope she continues to do so in future. She could have been bitter, venomous, vengeful and hateful but she chose love. Many people refuse to see her for the way she is simply because they are unable to shed off their lens of privilege & superiority.
Exactly...She even chose to forgive people without holding grudges...She could be judgmental and bitter personality without any ounce of regret but she is not...that's what make her a better person...she has proven it during several instances how she was always there for one's who were cornered or considered wrong by all..she didn't follow herd mentality...supported Bagga, Madhurima even Mahira...now recently Ankita when several people blamed or targeted them...she has been quite vocal regarding her stands...
I also think Shehnaaz needs to work on herself at bit and can consider external help, I hope she does get it for herself , she has problematic coping mechanism, infact most people struggle with this.
In attempt to understand her, I feel lot of her responses seem to be correspond to that 4-5 year old child or a tendency towards regressive childhood behaviour ( psychoanalytical school of thought )- the need to be centre of attraction, narrate one’s stories sometimes disregarding the state the other person is ( due to lack of understanding) ( many instances throughout the season ), the strong need to talk about self and the need for appreciation. ( I have seen kids this age flat out ask clap for me, look at me only, don’t talk among yourself)- these responses are present as it is.
She need to work on herself A LOT....as she is the unpolished diamond...she can make and destruct her own goodwill...she need proper guidance which she is not receiving....her parents and family the closest one's aren't actually the best advisers...they fail to understand her....deep down...regressive childhood behavior stems from being misunderstood...mistreated or not been given proper care and attention...
As Shehnaaz herself has discussed about her childhood in BB at length, it is clear she didn’t receive appropriate childhood care. There seems to be a pattern of regressive childhood behaviour apart from her basic personality which is extroverted. However, it’s worth noting that she understands social dynamics well, she can easily distinguish between people who are there for her for transactions or otherwise ( as she got the tag in BB that she is naive or any be easily manipulated) . I don’t think she’s naive or dull. The problem is not lack of understanding of people and their mal-intentions, the problem is she not weighing her emotions and thoughts worthy enough to be away from such people thus, fixation response of venting out or blurting out something as it is takes over.
Yes...as known by all she has been a neglected child...obviously her father lived away from her and she had been made to stay at her uncle's house where she was mistreated..she definitely is unable to weigh her emotions that's why she couldn't stay away from people with bad intentions or people who speak bad regarding her behind her back...what I've observed in her personality is she try to see good in people....she try to analyze people with all their good and bad qualities...until she is not "poked" she refrain from "personal remarks" on someone...
Originally posted by: GameitrorBeing multilingual is a massive challenge for her but it’s runs deeper than that, she’s isn’t as articulate or eloquent in general, and her words are used against her all the time.
She don't play with words or don't sugarcoat words that's how she is misjudged..
There were ample example of her disregarding her herself in BB, but three examples that particularly stick out are during comedy task, after that conversation with Rashmi in washroom, where Rashmi told her to pursue her love outside, when she was sitting with Sidharth outside, she said “ main Khud hi over kar rahi hoon” and during the massive fight week, when she was sitting with Rashmi (again) in washroom, she said “insult feel ho rahi hai, pati nahi Kyun but ho rahi hai” , she almost choked, and when she had that conversation with Rashmi (AGAIN) where Rashmi said “ tujhe Sab reject kar dete hai, tere liye toh koi stand nahi leta” and she said “ inse mujhe konsa pyaar hai” something “teesra bhi bana leti” , that was such a cover-up. Someone else rubbing your fears right in your face is bound to hurt.
She is a vulnerable person...but somewhere she didn't want to show her vulnerability or weakness that's why even when Siddhart asked her "mere pyaar main par gayi hai"....she straightaway denied...she was fearful of rejection...the girl who always made her feel "rejected" by him...she always spoke her fears infront of same girl....
This venting is further reinforced (both positively & negatively) by SM before BB and now after. She says what she feels without any alteration and it’s endearing and refreshing but gets problematic when the effects of this spill over to the professional life. This is what happened with Himanshi controversy, (who btw, was a much established and experienced star).The situation was manipulated by some people and we know who and she ended up receiving lot of online hate and bullying. However, it’s the snub she received from the industry that took toll, ending up with little work and lots of bullies , this might have been the time where she went through depressive symptoms ( as she herself has stated), if not clinical depression. Shehnaaz also had a mini- fallout with a industry colleague and that person called her “jealous” in media. In both the controversies, this specific word was used and hence, the breakdown ( on BB, during that jealous task on BB) , the immediate need to withdraw from the situation was the defence mechanism ( this was seen when Himanshi entered ). People might think it was scripted, it was drama but it was a very real response.
I didn't know this...I couldn't understand how the word could be a trigger for her....that's why she kept saying "chota dikhatey ho" whenever she was called jealous...her reaction infront of Salman wasn't sudden...they kept poking her with same word jealous over and over again...her fallout with Paras and Mahira was only because of the word "jealous" because Paras use to call her jealous of Mahira...Her breakdown was painful...I was recently watching previous episodes...and girl was literally requesting, begging...even to Siddhart Shukla...not to speak this word...yet the word was repeated...
If the creatives knew this and still went ahead with the task then it was very wrong for them to do so. People have called her dumb in weekend episodes but I see it more in anxiety taking over, more than just nervousness. Her constant laughing during serious conversations has a persistent pattern, it’s does seem like a response to anxiety at times.
Task was too insensitive....knowing how much she got affected by it...how much she requested not to say that word...even she warned she might end up harming herself (by self-beating) which she thankfully controlled...
Anxiety is more prevalent these days....she in one of her conversations revealed her worst memories and that was when she was nominated among bigger celebrities and was fearful of getting eliminated in 1st week itself....sometimes I felt...she always had pressure to fulfill expectations...her ooo aannn ammaa being eloquent or innocent infront of Salman hasn't been fake....its just a part of her personality....its a part of her trying to "fit in...in a way to stand out" trying to be in her comfort zone...trying not to get unheard or lost in the crowd....she didn't vanished or appeared insignificant like many....her antics have been natural...her panic attacks...had reason behind...when she hit Shukla...she knew she is wrong....she knew people would consider her wrong that's what she kept saying but than again couldn't control herself...he also kept poking her with the word "jealous"....her laughing during serious conversations, zoning out, inability to control her emotions, irritability is surely because of anxiety...which herself must be unaware of...
Shehnaaz’s strength is her resilience, her ability to bounce back in the face of so many adverse circumstances, sadly, for her it started right from childhood. She might be rough around the edges, too raw but she’s extremely trainable and if will receive proper mentorship, she’s bound to succeed. The perseverance this girl has is beyond commendable.
I wish I truly wish she get good mentor in her life....she is the fighter...the queen....she could be soo much better version of herself....she need proper guidance...her rawness and resilience are her strengths...
She has been heavily criticised for dragging her family but she understands that most relationships are transactional in nature, but if familial is one then, that is ought to hurt anyone. I don’t think she is consciously bringing them down but rather just saying what she really feels. Being deprived of care and unconditional love early on and then be only appreciated after certain level of achievement is something that will run deep. She clearly loves her family.
Somewhere the hurt of being deprived of love, care and attention by parents never goes away...it stays with you throughout life...initial years of life becomes integral part of one's personality...she undoubtedly loves them....but she couldn't let go of deprivation because of them...she couldn't clearly let go how much her parents ignored her or her father taunted her...couldn't let go of the fact how much she had to struggle to fulfill her dream....her family didn't support her to fulfill her dream of being an actor....she had to choose...all those who weren't supported by their families can understand that....
I feel she doesn’t learn through preachings and passed on knowledge, she learns through personal experiences. Fans could keep preaching what to do, what not to, give her advices that she should be media-trained, work on her grasp of language, articulation, diction & develop other skills, but she’s bound to do what she wants, that’s her intrinsic nature, that is what makes her HER. She’s untameable, and unapologetically herself and that is what made us love her so much because it is truly a act of insane courage.
There were so many times she was advised so many things....but she did what she believed in...for me that's the best part of her.....she seems fickle minded but in actual she is not....she is simple someone who follow her instincts her gut feeling...that has been mostly right...
Note : This is in no way an attempt to hand out a diagnosis or unsolicited advice but rather just drawing an analogy to better understand Shehnaaz and her actions through the show ( BB ) and now. The term “regressive childhood behaviour” is not indicative of any classified mental or any other illness, infact these patterns are present in many, if not most individuals.
Originally posted by: GameitrorBB 13 can be viewed through two POVs- one’s Sana and other Sid’s. So if you are rooting for one, then another’s reaction will leave you exasperated. Been there, done that. I am currently on with Sids POV but I will say this just like Sana has forgiven Sids venomous words, Sid has also forgiven lot of her infuriating and painful actions.
Sana shouldn’t have been that upfront in MSK with one-sided rant. She could have been ambiguous about it.I think Sid will acknowledge in his own way soon but she did put him in a fix there by signing that show and the stating one-sided thing again and again, that Spotbye reporter actually asked him that “ If she was in love with you then why sign such a way to marry someone else”.
Logically, It’s like you are yet to explore your relationship in real life, you have declared it to the world you are in love, how could you jeopardise it so easily for some show you haven’t thought about? Since I know the reasons so I will let it go, she gets a clean chit there.
Will refrain from commenting on Sidhearts, some of them are batshit crazy.
About jealousy task, I don’t like SK but started liking him for the way he supported Sana. I couldn’t believe his behaviour and HMs except Sid on that day, this person is having legit emotional breakdown, and the audience was laughing, the HMs for most part were indifferent and SK was saying “ye overacting ho rahi hai”, wait what? The way it was handled was very irresponsible.Even though the trigger was Sid, the way he cared for her, tended to her was something else and it helped audience gain perspective, that nothing between them was for screen, it was all so raw and real there.
Hmmm.. somewhere I started disliking Sid as a person- the malignant jealousy, the violence, the anger, lack of impulse control, the constant belittling of Sana in so many ways- these are not traits I admire. Not to say Sana is not flawed but for me the good in her overpowers the bad.
I am reconciled to Sidnaaz as long as the one-sided narrative does not go on for too long.MSK is a bit of a mess but as a Sana fan my concern is that Sana the individual does not get swallowed up in Sidnaaz.
@bold- Maybe I should watch the epi.I was so turned off by the promo and the fact that they were promoting something as tuccha as Sana is jealous of Mahira and how callously exploitative the show was being of Sana's breakdown that I have not watched that episode. One of my peeves with Sid has been my perception of how when push came to shove,Sid would not have Sana's back and maybe this episode may change that.
Shehnaaz is not active on SM...why so?...that's so unlike her..
Originally posted by: CaptiveFreedomShehnaaz is not active on SM...why so?...that's so unlike her..
She's back now- such a jhallo maasi, how I love how nutty this woman is😆
Originally posted by: dahibhalleShe's back now- such a jhallo maasi, how I love how nutty this woman is😆
yeah she is back with a bang..😆
Twitter 's making me laugh today . Thank you Fifi🤣🤣
The way some fans were so confident that the man in Shehbaaz's live was too fat to be Sid🤣🤣
Long one...Need to vent this out somewhere...
The word that aptly define Shehnaaz Kair Gill is MISJUDGED...
She is brought up in a village with conservative thoughts where majority of women don't smoke, drink or opt for divorce they are "taught" to adjust with their husbands and in-laws infact they are rebuked if they request for divorce their role is predefined and instilled in their mind from the time they could understand....during their brought up that they are meant to be home maker....that's how she has different views on divorce, smoking and drinking of women than those brought up in cities where they themselves saw women smoking and drinking or opting for divorce being in unhappy or abusive marriages more frequently (without being harshly rebuked or criticized) around them...they know they have choice...they were taught to make decisions for their happiness...they are taught that unhappy marriages are destructive...
whereas women in villages or even in certain families in cities are taught...once you opt for divorce your family breaks...your children suffers the most....I myself divorced my husband and I should truly be irked or annoyed by Shehnaaz views on divorce...but I understand her POV too....because initially even my family didn't support me...they wanted by child to have a complete happy family to have love and undivided attention of both parents....but than they understood...
contrarily people judge her by her views on bf or her being okey with short term relationships or bfs...how her views on bf are not conservative? How girl like her had audacity to kiss and hugged Gauti, Kartik or Siddhart...its quite obvious Gauti and Kartik are celebs she wanted to meet and admired...she had a fangirl moment with them...just because she did it on NTV...how can she?....its disgusting and disgraceful to hug and kiss celebrities on NTV...its not okey to dream about celebrities...it makes a person appear psycho and leech (according to few hypocrites)...the celebs themselves (Gauti and Kartik) liked the interaction as it hyped them too but than "how can a woman throw herself on celeb like that?"...the person in question was a celeb and not a common unfamiliar man...we like the idea of strangers meeting in hollywood movies..getting attracted towards each other in first meet and making out...but a fangirl displaying affection towards celebs that is not making celebs feel uncomfortable is disgraceful because hypocrites
"demands women equality but have set standards regarding how a woman should behave"
many people might think what if a male contestant did same to female celeb...kissed her or hugged her....there is nothing wrong in doing so if female is comfortable...male contestants hugged and danced with female celebs like Sunny Leone but as they kept their excitement in control didn't make it appear over excitement...or didn't kiss them (which male celebs like Gauti themselves enjoy)....that doesn't become "disgraceful"...
She is same girl with instilled home maker no divorce life long marriage thoughts...but a rebellious one....she chose her career...she had bf...but somewhere she believed that having bf and career doesn't HARM anyone else...it doesn't break family...though her career choice distanced her from her parents....but she was already distanced from her parents..wasn't she?....as they already made her live away from them....if they cared about her or given her attention, love and care...maybe she won't have rebelled or even chosen her career over them...what I understood by her conversations and thoughts is divorce break the family...destroys self-peace or self-satisfaction...she somewhere doesn't accept the idea of happy broken families...
She need to be made aware that making a family or breaking it is not only the responsibility of female....it depends upon compromises by both husband and wife...equality isn't bad...equality isn't destroying homes but inequality is....its restricting women's growth....She need to understand that inequality is the reason Shehnaaz Kaur Gill had to stay away from her family...if inequality can make Shehnaaz Kaur Gill chose her career over her family....which is her choice...towards freedom....same inequality can make any woman chose herself and her mental peace over imaginary happy family...
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