Only If I Could - PreRish Ficlet Series ( Part 5 Pg 12 } - Page 2

•| Only If I Could

• 1] If I could, I wouldn't bring time machine in existence and change our past. Only if I could. 

I miss you so much. So much. I guess somewhere deep down, I always knew I would. I don't know about you though. Perhaps, you might not even be thinking about me anymore, but l... my nights still end with reading our earlier messages and my days begin with tears that roll down my cheeks without my consent when you disappear from my sight once my dreams are broken. I miss you so much. Just so much.

- Prerna.

Putting back the cap of my pen, I shut my small purple journal. The one that he had gifted me. My lips broke into a small smile as I went down memory lane, reminiscing the day he had brought that for me.

Everyone can't write, Prerna. You can and that's precious. I want you to pen down your beautiful words in this diary and lock them for me so that whenever you are comfortable enough, I would have them here to read.

"Mr. Bajaj," I murmured quietly as I pulled the duvet all over myself, crying silently. His mere name brought millions of memories in front of my eyes... the ones that I had treasured and hidden in my heart.

It had been months since my eyes adored him, last.

It had been months since my ears heard his soothing voice, last.

It had been months since his hand caressed my hair, last.

It had been months since I found solace, last.

It had been months since I felt love, last.

It had been months since I had to push him away from me for his own good. My heart had broken into millions of pieces when had I said what I had to, to him that had him shut himself from me sooner than I had expected to. Perhaps, because the accusation that I had made on him was the last one he could even thought of, from me.

If I could, I would bring time travel in existence and change our past, Mr. Bajaj. Only if I could.

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Ah what a beauty! 

This is incredibly beautiful! ❤️

Amazing.. wish there was a way to know what exactly happened between these two..

Splendid piece of write up Harshada🤗

That "If" just stole the show❤️,

Her longing mixed with her regret made it really awesome❤️

Great one yaar would love to read more from you👍🏼

It's so beautiful...💖💖💖

The emotions are penned down so beautifully...

It's awesome...

This is so damn awesome❤️

Her feelings, her longing, her love, her pain, everything is so beautifully expressed.

 very sweet & emotional.

This is so endearing in a sad way😭

Very beautiful

• 2] If I could, I would break every barrier, find your arms and lose myself in them, once again. Only if I could. 

Have you been taking your vitamin supplements regularly, Mr. Bajaj? I hope, you have been. When you were here, it was my thing to remind you every night. Oh, such beautiful days they were. I never brought myself to confess... that slightly annoyed face with that small stretch of your forehead whenever I would step in your room with the reminder for them... that always made you look as cute as a new born. I would secretly recall it over and over in my room and go insane over it. I miss those days. I miss you. Do you miss me? A part of me desperately wishes that you do. Sweet dreams, Mr. Bajaj.

- Prerna

I pushed the journal and the pen in the drawer of the table beside my bed before I curled myself up in a ball. His photo frame was close to my heart as I clutched it in a firm grip of my hands.

"Mr. Bajaj," I whispered as my yet another night sobbing session began.

Not always, Prerna. Not always. People can't stay with you always. Sometimes, circumstances will pull them apart. Sometimes, death will pull them apart. Sometimes, people themselves, will pull them apart. We have to learn how to be on our own when it happens. We must never crumble. We must never give up. We must hold on. We must live, because in that phase of test, the ones who manage to protect themselves from giving up, are the ones to whom, universe grants everything they want.

"I am not giving up, Mr. Bajaj. This is getting way too hard for me to bear but I am not giving up. I am somehow making it from one morning to another. Will universe grant me what I want? Will universe grant me you?"

I cried, desperately wishing for sleep to greet me but like every night, it refused to and that made me miss him even more for on days when I would fail to fall asleep, he would be there to sit beside me, listening to my blabbering until I would slip in slumber.

If I could, I would break every barrier, find your arms and lose myself in them, once again. Only if I could. 

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