FF: Sacrifice For Immortality (Completed) - Page 7

Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by Madhura..


Loved the chapter Nikki, well executed. Mohona's entry and that shield, war again, cool.

Saavi got angry is also justified, but again impulsive move, jiski saja bhi almost mili.

Loved the way Piya saved her, and Nishant decoding the shield and Ansh breaking it, finally Ansh ne bhi kuch kaam kiya.😃

Thank you so much... 😊

How can I not make Ansh do anything? As I told you earlier also, I prefer all characters to do something or the other and not stand there like nalayaks. Besides, I prefer smart characters and not dumb people.

Also, Ansh has some important role in the upcoming chapters too... To yahan par bhi isse kuch kaam to karwana tha na? 😉

Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by Nikki_srk


Thank you so much... 😊

How can I not make Ansh do anything? As I told you earlier also, I prefer all characters to do something or the other and not stand there like nalayaks. Besides, I prefer smart characters and not dumb people.

Also, Ansh has some important role in the upcoming chapters too... To yahan par bhi isse kuch kaam to karwana tha na? 😉


😃

Definitely you did, but execution in the apt way too.

Yes, we all love them doing something.

That's interesting. I believe all will have a role.

Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by Madhura..



😃

Definitely you did, but execution in the apt way too.

Yes, we all love them doing something.

That's interesting. I believe all will have a role.

Thanks... 😊

Glad you guys are liking it. 

Well, I guess everyone will have some role... 

Posted: 4 years ago

Chapter 3 


Nice 👍🏼 Dig the sarcasm in your chapter 

Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by Hallyumint


Chapter 3 


Nice 👍🏼 Dig the sarcasm in your chapter 

Thanks... 🤗

But it wasn't supposed to be like this.

Kuch zyada hi repetitive ho gaya... Cos my diary had finished halfway through it and I wrote the remaining half in a new one. Phir, I posted it in two shifts and that too without editing...

Isiliye, it didn't meet my expectations...

Posted: 4 years ago

Chapter 4 



We found out one is Mo. She needs to sacrifice Piya 2 days later to..i forgot again to become powerful. 


2nd one is the demon king but who is his human avatar is the mystery.


The neighbor..too predictable  or that other guy who came for his kundli.


Most importantly what's their ie Rathods Riva next move 




You captured the essence of Nazar in chapter 4 ...Sahi Pakde Hai !👉

Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by Nikki_srk


Thanks... 🤗

But it wasn't supposed to be like this.

Kuch zyada hi repetitive ho gaya... Cos my diary had finished halfway through it and I wrote the remaining half in a new one. Phir, I posted it in two shifts and that too without editing...

Isiliye, it didn't meet my expectations...


Didn't i say your's & the readers perspective will most times differ.



Besides this is only a filler chapter the main action starts after chapter 4.

Posted: 4 years ago

Chapter 4 



We found out one is Mo. She needs to sacrifice Piya 2 days later to..i forgot again to become powerful. 

That was pretty much obvious... Plus she will also take her revenge as Pia failed her plan of snacking on Ansh on RCG if she sacrifices Pia... So, hitting two birds with one stone!!

2nd one is the demon king but who is his human avatar is the mystery.

The neighbor..too predictable  or that other guy who came for his kundli.

Well, have I introduced a third character? 😆

So, obviously it will be any one of these...

Most importantly what's their ie Rathods Riva next move 

Well, I am on chapter 5... Hopefully it will turn out to be interesting.

You captured the essence of Nazar in chapter 4 ...Sahi Pakde Hai !👉

Thanks... 🤗

Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by Hallyumint



Didn't i say your's & the readers perspective will most times differ.



Besides this is only a filler chapter the main action starts after chapter 4.

I remember that...

And yes, it was only a filler chapter...

Posted: 4 years ago

Chapter: 05

At Nishant's House

          Nishant, Saavi, Pia and Ansh reached Nishant's house. Finally, they had some time to relax. Nishant told them that they will be leaving for that place which he had chosen to keep Pia safe the next day.

          The night passed peacefully... The next day, they were all gathered in Nishant's office. Saavi as usual being the impatient one, bombarded Nishant with questions the moment he came in front of them 


Sa: Dad, ab to bataiye ki ye Kaal Shukra Grahan hai kya? Di par iska kya effect hoga? Aur unki shaktiyan kam kyon ho jayengi? 

Ni: Kaal Shukra Grahan ek bahut hi khaas ghatna hai... Is din Shukra Graha Dharti aur sooraj ke beech main aa jaata hai. Waise to ye ghatna ek bahut hi normal si baat hai par Kaal Shukra Grahan bahut hi khaas hota hai...

Pia: Khaas? Wo kaise?

Ni: Kyonki 3000 saalo main ek baar aisa hota hai jab ye Shukra Grahan Daivik ke janamdin par padta hai jaisa ki is baar ho raha hai. Us din agar koi Kaali Shakti Daivik ki bali chadhane main kaamyab ho gayi to wo amar ho jayegi...

Ansh: Par koi Kaali Shakti Daivik ko kaise maar sakti hai?

Ni: I know Ansh... Daivik ko maarna is next to impossible. Isiliye to iska inaam bhi itna bada hai... Agar koi Kaali Shakti isme kaamyab ho gayi, to wo amar ho jayegi. Aur is kaam ke liye ye din khaas isliye hai kyonki is samay Daivik ki shaktiyan kam ho jaati hain.

Sa: Par aisa kyon Dad?

Ni: Ek minute ruko...


          He opened the Daayan Rahasya which was lying on his desk and began flipping through the pages. He stopped after a few moments and started reading what was written there...


Ni: Daayan Rahasya ke according Shukra Graha ka naam asuro ke guru Shukracharya ke naam par pada hai aur ise negative energy ka source bhi maana jaata hai. Isiliye, jab ye sooraj aur dharti ke beech aata hai to ye sooraj se aane wali positive energy ko rok leta hai aur uski jagah Shukra Graha ki negative energy le leti hai. Dharti par negative energy badhne ki wajah se Kaali Shaktiyon ki shaktiyan badh jaati hain aur positive energy kam hone ki wajah se Daivik ki shaktiyan kam ho jaati hain.

Sa: To Dad, Di ki shaktiyan kab tak kamzor rahengi?

Ni: Gudiya ki shaktiyan kamzor hona shuru ho chuki hain. Aur uski shaktiyan grahan kaal tak kamzor hi rahengi. Jab Shukra Graha Dharti aur sooraj ke exact beech wali line main hoga, us wakt Gudiya ki shaktiyan sabse kamzor hongi. Aur jaise hi shukra graha aage badhne lagega, use uski shaktiyan dheere-dheere wapas milne lag jayengi.

Sa: Aur ye kitni der tak hoga jab ye Shukra Graha Dharti aur sooraj ke exact beech main ek line main hoga?

Ni: Bas kuch minutes ke liye... In fact, yahi wo samay hoga jab Daivik ki bali chadhai ja sakegi. Na uske pehle, na uske baad...

Ansh: To Mohona ke paas bas ye kuch minutes hi honge Pia ko maarne ke liye?

Ni: Haan...


          Just then they heard a voice...


"Khatra sirf Mohona se nahi hai Nishant Ji"


          They turned around and saw Panditji standing at the door. He looked tired and out of breath as if he had been walking hurriedly...


Ni: Panditji aap? Kya baat hai aap itna haanf kyon rahe hain?

P: Mere paas apke liye ek buri khabar hai Nishant Ji... Pia ko khatra sirf Mohona se nahi hai. Pia ko ek aur Kaali Shakti se khatra hai...

Ansh: Kisse?

P: Antakasur se...

Ni: Lekin Antakasur to us gufa main kaid tha na? Abhi pichhle mahine hi to hum logon ne jakar dekha tha use... Wo to ekdum Patthar ki murati ban gaya tha...

P: Main abhi wahin se aa raha hoon Nishant Ji... Gufa khaali hai. Antakasur jaag chuka hai aur us gufa se bahar bhi aa chuka hai. Aur ab pata nahi wo kahan hoga...

Pia: Antakasur? Ye Antakasur kaun hai?

Ni: Main batata hoon...


          He went into the library and pulled out the Rakshas Kosh from the furthermost shelf. Scanning through the list of A's, he opened the chapter on Antakasur and began to read it aloud...


Ni: Antakasur ek 5000 saal purana Rakshas yodha tha... Usne apne samay ke sabhi rakshaso ko yudh main hara diya tha aur unka raja ban gaya tha. Uske paas aseem shaktiyan thi... I mean hain. Wo apne shareer ka aakar kai guna badha bhi sakta hai aur chhota bhi kar sakta hai; panch tatvo ki shaktiyon ko apne kaabu main kar sakta hai; kisi ko bhi apne vash main kar sakta hai, chahe wo insan ho ya janwar; wo ajar hai yani ki wo kabhi bhi buddha nahi hoga, uski umar chahe jitni bhi ho jaye, uska shareer kabhi buddha nahi hoga aur uski shakti kabhi kam nahi hogi; wo kisi ka bhi roop le sakta hai. Aur wo Bhagwan Shiv ka bahut bada bhakt hai...

Sa: Kya kaha aapne Dad? Bhagwan Shiv ka bhakt...

Ni: Haan...

Sa: Dad, aapko yaad hai kal jab hum log Di ke ghar jaa rahe the tab...


[Flashback:]

          Nishant and Saavi entered the lift and pushed the button to the 40th floor... They had reached the 39th floor when suddenly the lift door opened but no one got in. They were confused but thought that some child must have playfully pressed the button...

          Suddenly, Nishant got out of the lift. Saavi too followed him, totally confused. After walking a few paces away from the lift, Nishant stopped.


Sa: Kya hua Dad?

Ni: Mujhe aisa laga ki maine yahan kisi ki parchhayi dekhi... 

Sa: Par Dad, yahan to koi bhi nahi hai...

Ni: Haan... Yahan to koi bhi nahi hai. Shayad mera vehem hoga. Khair chhodo. Chalo, chalte hain...


          They turned around towards the lift but the door had already closed and the lift was gone... They decided to climb up the stairs to the 40th floor.

          They reached the 40th floor and were walking towards the Rathod House when suddenly Nishant stopped in his tracks... He seemed to be listening to something very carefully.


Sa: Kya hua Dad? 

Ni: Yahan koi Shiv Tandav Stotra ka paath kar raha hai...


          Saavi too listened carefully and soon caught the words...


"Jatatavigalajjala pravahapavitasthale

Galeavalambya lambitam bhujangatungamalikam

Damad damad damaddama ninadavaddamarvayam

Chakara chand tandavam tanotu nah shivah shivam"


          The voice was slightly muffled as it was coming from behind closed doors... But it was evident that whoever was singing it had a great voice and was well versed in Sanskrit.

          They followed the voice and were soon standing in front of Flat No. 4002. Now the voice was audible more clearly.


"Jata kata hasambhrama bhramanilimpanirjhari

Vilolavichivalarai virajamanamurdhani

Dhagadhagadhagajjvalal lalata pattapavake

Kishora chandrashekhare ratih pratikshanam mama"


Sa: Ye to Di ke naye neighbours hain... Ahujas.

Ni: Tum jaanti ho in logon ko?

Sa: Nahi jaanti to nahi par hum log subah Vedashree aunty ke kehne par yahan aaye the... Aur hum ek Maa-Bete ki jodi se mile the. Aunty to achhi thi par unka beta, Rudra... Usne humare muh par darwaza band kar diya!!

Ni: Rudra... Hmmm... Rudra bhi to Bhagwan Shiv ka hi ek naam hota hai... aur ye Shivji ka bahut bada bhakt bhi lagta hai...


          He suddenly realised that he had got carried away by listening to Rudra's voice. He turned towards Saavi and said


Ni: Baato baato main kaafi time waste ho gaya. Ab hume chalna chahiye... 

Sa: Chaliye Dad...


          And so, they retraced their steps towards Rathod House... Rudra's voice was still audible to them

[Present Time]


Ni: To tum ye kehna chahti ho ki ye Rudra hi Antakasur hai?

Sa: Ho sakta hai Dad... Abhi aapne hi to bataya ki ye Antakasur kisi ka bhi roop le sakta hai... Ho sakta hi ki usne Rudra ka roop liya ho?

Pia: Are you sure Saavi? Sirf is basis par ki wo Shiv Ji ka bahut bada bhakt hai, hum ye to nahi keh sakte ki ye Rudra hi Antakasur hai?

Sa: I know Di ki sirf is basis par ki wo Shiv Ji ka bhakt hai, hum ye nahi keh sakte ki Rudra hi Antakasur hai... But then, ye bhi to koi coincidence nahi ho sakta ki wo exactly Kaal Shukra Grahan ke samay hi aapki building main shift hua hai?

Ansh: Tum dono apni-apni jagah par sahi ho... Par hum ye confirm kaise karenge ki Rudra hi Antakasur hai ya nahi?

Ni: Is kitaab main to use pehchaanne ka koi tareeka nahi likha hai... Panditji, aapko kuch pata hai?

P: Nahi Nishant Ji... Abhi tak to aise kisi upaay ke baare main mujhe bhi nahi pata. Par main pata lagane ki koshish zarur karunga.

Pia: Achha Baba, ye bataiye ki is kitaab main aur kya likha hai? Kya isse pehle bhi usne kisi Daivik ko maarne ki koshish ki thi?

Ni: Haan... 3000 saal pehle, pichhle Kaal Shukra Grahan par usne ye koshish ki thi par wo kaamyab nahi hua tha.

Sa: To iska matlab hum use is baar bhi kaamyab hone se rok sakte hain? Use rokne ka koi tareeka hai? Kya is kitaab main kuch likha hai Dad?


          Nishant was lost in the book... When he didn't reply to Saavi's questions for a few minutes, Saavi called out to him again...


Sa (in a slightly louder voice): Dad!! Is book main kuch likha hai kya?

Ni: Kis baare main?

Sa: Antakasur ko rokne ke tareeke ke baare main...

Ni: Nahi... Isme kuch nahi likha hai.


          His tone caught everyone by surprise... It was evident that he was hiding something.

          Nishant shut the book and went into the library to replace the book on its shelf. 

          Out of a corner of her eye, Saavi saw him tear up a page from that book, fold it up and put it in his pocket. She found this wierd. She was confused but decided remain silent at that time and ask Nishant about it later...


Ni: Ab tum log jao... Mujhe Panditji se kuch zaruri baat karni hai. Thodi der main hum log us jagah ke liye nikal jayenge. Tum log jao aur jaane ki taiyari karo.


          The three of them turned to leave when Nishant called out from behind...


Ni: Gudiya, ek minute ruko... Mujhe tumse bhi kuch zaruri baat karni hai.


          Pia stayed behind with Nishant in his office. Saavi went up to her room to prepare for the journey. Ansh got a call from Vedashree and was talking with her in the hall.

          When he cut the call and turned around, he saw Pia standing there with a worried expression on her face.


Ansh: Kya hua Pia? Tum kuch pareshaan lag rahi ho?

Pia: Haan Ansh... Hume abhi yahan se nikalna padega.


          Ansh was totally confused...


Ansh: Nikalna padega matlab? Papa ne kuch kaha? Ya kuch gadbad hai? Main abhi Papa ko bula kar lata hoon...


          He was about to leave but Pia stopped him...


Pia: Ansh ruko... Unhe mat bulana. Wo Baba aur Saavi nahi hain.

Ansh: Papa aur Saavi nahi hain? Matlab? Tum kehna kya chahti ho Pia?

Pia: Mera matlab hai ki ye asli Baba aur Saavi nahi hain. Ye zarur koi behroopiye hain.

Ansh: Tum ye baat itne surely kaise keh sakti ho Pia? 

Pia: Kyoni maine kuch aisa dekha tha jisse mujhe is baat par yakeen ho gaya.

Ansh: Kya?

Pia: Jab Baba wo kitaab wapas rakhne jaa rahe the, tab unhone us book main se ek panna nikal liya tha. Ho na ho, us panne main Antakasur ke baare main kuch na kuch zarur likha tha... Lekin unhone hume batane ki jagah wo page hi nikal liya...


          Ansh was still not fully convinced...


Ansh: Agar aisi baat hai to hume abhi jaakar unse baat karni chahiye aur is baare main poochta chahiye...

Pia: Humare paas itna wakt nahi hai Ansh... Ho sakta hai un dono ne Baba aur Saavi ko kahi kaid kar rakha ho? Ho sakta hai wo kisi khatre main ho? Nahi... Hume pehle Baba aur Saavi ko dhoondhna hoga aur phir sab mil kar in dono ka saamna karenge. Tumhe chalna hai to chalo warna main akele hi jaa rahi hoon...


          Saying this, Pia rushed towards the lift, entered it and pressed the button for the ground floor. Ansh had no other option but to follow her as he did not want her to land in trouble. There was only one lift in the building and it was already descending. 

          He decided to climb down the wall... But, that was risky. What if the neighbours saw him? It was not that he actually cared for the neighbours but he didn't want to raise a hue and cry. So, he decided to take the stairs instead.

          Thankfully, being a Davansh he had the advantage that he did not get tired like any normal human would have been after descending 25 floors...

          When he reached the corridor, Pia was already outside moving towards their car. He rushed to stop her...


Ansh: Pia ruk...


          But his words were caught in his throat for he saw too late that Pia had stepped into the Daayan Chakra.

          Pia turned around... She looked first at Ansh's shocked face and then at the ground beneath her. She looked shocked too. Clearly, she hadn't expected Mohona to strike again and that too so soon...

          Suddenly, they heard a voice...


"To aakhir tum mere jaal main fans hi gayi..."


          They turned around and saw Mohona walking towards them.


Mo: To tum mere banaye Daayan Chakra main fans hi gayi... Tumhari shaktiyan kamzor hone ki wajah se tum is Daayan Chakra ke asar se bach nahi paogi. Aur ab tum wahi karogi jo main kahungi.


          Ansh looked at Pia. She had a calm expression on her face. He was surprised to see he so calm. It seemed as if either she had somehow controlled herself or she was already under Mohona's control.

         In a calm voice, Pia spoke


"Aur tumhe kyon lagta hai ki main aisa karunga?"


PS. Jitne bhi references diye hain, please don't take them seriously...

Edited by Nikki_srk - 3 years ago


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