Last Chance to Fall in Love: Tere Liye
When she last saw him, he was just a boy of not more than 18, a lean figured boy with oval face and little yellowish-white skin but with sharp eyes that seemed to leave thing from scrutiny, and which were filled depths of intelligence. Nothing was extraordinary in him that any unknown could make out, and as for her, he was the most brilliant and beautiful male species. She knew that her likeness exaggerated a bit but her love was like that…
But then it was long ago, things have changed with years that have ripped her apart from him and so much that it had been now a decade that she had seen him, though she knew all about his whereabouts and all that was going on in his life but still, now she knew it was just impossible to even dream about him in that fashion that she used to when he was infront of him as they went to same school. She was well aware of his aspirations and his ambitions and also about this inclination for his personal life towards someone whom she knew deserved him!
But then all are fools in love, it just didn’t deter for her, it never did, not even when he was infront of her supposedly dating a very smart, intelligent and beautiful girl of same batch as theirs but of different stream; not even when she came to know about his love interest in college. She knew it was utter madness, her friends were of same opinion too, but they could never put up just the reason strong enough to make her think about it and do what intelligent people do, that is to leave behind past and move on.
What was stopping her? What was making her love him with all her heart, knowing full well that she just didn’t existed for him, she was the wallflower of her school and she had just no reason to hate him or want him to acknowledge her when she never gave him any reason to; but she knew something that there was something, like an invisible force that was just making her to hold on a little longer.
She owing to her fixed affections never moved on, no matter how much of an admirer would want her to at least try, no matter that her friends made fun of her, and few pitied her but her heart never gave up on the empty hope. Days would went by making her frustrated but still she was adamant, she never even had to try, it was like she just never looked at any other guy, and if some admirer would pop up, all she used to do was to ignore them. And to accomplish that she didn’t had to try, it just came naturally. She had, it seemed in her mind and heart married him, but then what good could ever come of such thoughts for a girl of no strong base, but a determined family that was counting days to get her married…
And then a big surprised came one day when the unimaginable happened, his message popped up in her mail box… which she opened with loudly beating heart and shivering fingers. Her eyes were wide and throat dry and she didn’t know what it must be about, it was like something dreadful, she just didn’t know what made him actually write to her, he had never spoken to her then why that day?
Questions were swimming in her mind, her mind was filled with fears, fears of something dreadful, like an accusation though she didn’t know of what he can accuse her of… she took few deep breaths and then finally after chanting the name of her god she clicked on “Read” button, and with that her breath hitched as her eyes fell on the first word of the letter, “Hi Ishita”, a smile spread on her lips, and her face seemed to brightened up for it felt like a voice echoing around her in his voice; Oh how it must feel from his mouth, in this very own voice? She wondered quietly and then started to read the letter, word by word,
Hi Ishita,
How are you? How are all things going in your life? … I just wanted to talk to you… and I don’t have your fone number… can you give me a ring on this number #@&*$!~*#@?
And please don’t worry, its nothing serious… just call me when you are free…
R.K.B.
…and she re-read the letter but nothing changed, and then she finally grinned and closed her eyes really tightly and screamed on top of her lungs…
HE GAVE ME HIS PHONE NUMBER!!! HE WANTS TO TALK TO ME!!! HE KNOWS MY NAME!!! HE KNOWS OF MY EXISTENCE!!! OHH MY GOD!!! OHH MY GOD!!!
And then she slowed down and exclaimed while breathing hard, “This must be a dream! Oh how can this be truth? He knows me…. He wants to talk to me… can this be possible??” and then she took few deep breaths as she picked up her mobile and started to dial the given number. As she pressed the buttons, her heart beat grew in anticipation of what was going to come…’ what it must be that he so suddenly wanted to talk to her, when they had never even greeted each other nor even smiled or acknowledged the other? What could have made him come to talk to her about… was he interested in one of her friends and wanted her help… but then she knew he was already in one relationship… what it could be’, was what was going through her mind when he picked up from the other end and asked,
“Hello?”
“Um… Raman Kumar Bhalla?” and with that she slapped her head thinking, ‘why she had to follow her fascination for his full name here?’ and then corrected, “I mean Raman?”
“Yes… both are me, Ishita.” He chuckled at her nervousness.
“Yeah… I know that… um… so about what you wanted to talk to me?” she asked, coming to the main point, she didn’t know why but she just wanted to hand the call, it was just too much for her!
“Relax… cant I just want to talk to you… I mean we have never chatted before.” He said playfully.
“Um… yeah you can… offcourse…” she said little confused and doubtful.
“So hows your life going?” he asked, generally but it seemed that he was preparing himself for something much deeper and supposedly much serious, a mere thought of which made her shiver with fear.
“It’s good Raman…” and then she continued, “Please… tell me what is it all about. You are making me nervous.”
“Ishita… um… the thing is… I know that you like me…” he said calmly.
But Ishita was not at all calm, she was not even close to being calm, she was confused… surprised…and flabbergasted! She didn’t know what to say sane that could clear the awkwardness and embarrassment. Well this was what she was anticipating though the tone she imagined was more of romantic and happy than that… this is not right… it didn’t just sound right… It was more like an accusation than anything else!
“What are you talking about…?” just she thought fast and this was what she could conclude, she wanted to make it like it never happened to save herself of embarrassment. It was like being caught of doing something wrong!
“You don’t have to feel embarrass, I mean I understand… and its okay. But Ishita, I know what you want to know and the answer is, I am already in a relationship and its quite serious, she is from my college and we are together from like five years. And I have never ever thought about that… and now I know you must be thinking about why then I called…. So my answer is that I called just so that you might not regret that you never told me ever that you liked me, I didn’t wanted you to live your life in regret… because I know regrets are painful!” and with that he finished.
While cleared her throat and said, “Hmm… you are right… regrets are poisonous for life, thanks Raman, if you have not taken step then I would have never come and told you and would have kept it in my heart forever… I am sure I will be happier now that I know that you know… how can I ever thankyou… …” she said in cracked voice.
“I am sorry Ishita…. But you have hurt me Ishita… why didn’t you tell me this before when we were in school, you could have told me…” he said.
“Its okay Raman… I am fine.” And then continued, “How I could have told you… and why? We were never even friends… forget friends, I don’t even remember me ever having conversation with you before.”
“And besides, our culture is different… nothing could have happened even if we were together… so may be its better this way…” and then he became silent for a moment or two and then continued, “But we could have been friends, I could have shared my thoughts with you… we could have become special friends.”
She didn’t have any answer to that… ‘Yes! May be atleast they could have been friends, she could have listened to him, she could have spend time with him… may be it would have been best!’ so she remained silent.
“Ishita…?” he called.
And her trance broke and she said, sighing, “even now We are friends…” and smiled into the phone.
“Thanks Ishita…” he said, “I ‘ll have to go now… will talk later…. But… it was wonderful and very refreshing talking to you…”
“Sure, bye.” She said.
They both hanged.
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[TODAY]
Eram’s Nikah!
Today things have changed, that day when they hanged up on each other they were just two people determined about their future course but never once they turned towards each other as decided, it seemed that it was just a vague sentence and not any promise.
And today they are standing infront of each other, it’s like not even a second has passed between them. They are still two people, same with few differences, previously one didn’t knew about other nor cared and now the other didn’t mind his presence!
“Hey Raman… so finally you made it… I thought you won’t come.” Manasvi said jokingly, as she made her way towards him with her best friend, Seema.
“I had to… I couldn’t have missed this opportunity to meet everyone and enjoying a friend’s wedding.” He replied.
Everyone of our batch present there smiled and made their way towards the hall where the nikah was going to take place, as everyone else did, as it was time.
She, who was with her other friends was already by Eram’s side, behind the green net curtain full of beautiful chicken work!
She could feel his gaze tracing her, but she was determined to not look at him.
After the bride exclaimed in low shy voice, Kubool hai, Kubool hai, Kubool hai, the celebrations started! The curtain was dropped, and it was her eyes met his’, it was like everything came back to her like a slap, all that she had subdued seemed to come to life on its own, her feelings and sentiments. She felt betrayed by her own eyes that filled with unshed tears, her lips that curved into a deceiving smile and her heart that started to beat again like it used to in his presence!
And then she slowly registered all around, and with that she turned her gaze towards ground and stood up and walked up with other girls who were now moving towards sofa where the groom was sitting and made the bride sit next to him. She looked towards her newly wedded friend and smiled lovingly, when she felt a tug in her hand, and in no time she was pulled out of the bursting crowd away to a corner where no one seemed to be there at the moment.
“Raman!!” she exclaimed astonished, she had never imagined him doing anything like that.
“Hi!” he said with a nervous smile.
“Hi…” she returned, now much more at ease, with a sweet smile.
“So you here…?” he asked, as it seemed to start the conversation.
“Eram is my friend, so naturally…” she left the sentence incomplete, and then after a moment or two continued, “But you here?”
He smiled cockily and said, “You won’t believe but I am here to meet you…”
“Yes… you are right, I will not believe that.” She shot back.
“Why? Is it that hard to believe?” he asked, little hurt as it felt from his tone.
She sighed and said, “Ok. Fine then, tell me why you came for me?”
“I wanted to meet you… we have conversed, but I never met my admirer!” he said humorously.
“Oh! And now you have. So what conclusions you’ll put along?” she asked
“Hmm… well the first will be that I am stupid to not just elope with you right now!” he answered thoughtfully.
She laughed, and said, “And the second?”
“The second is not a conclusion, but an observation, and is for me to know, so I am sorry as I cannot tell you…” he said all serious.
“Hey! Not matters what… but it’s about me, and so I have right to know.” she said.
“hmm” he sighed and the asked ignoring her whining, “ Do you have a boy friend?”
“No…” she said, and he sighed, as if in relief but she continued, “I do have a fiancé though.”
“Fiancé? So you are getting….” He couldn’t continue when she completed.
“… married… yes!” she said calmly.
“Do you love him?” he asked.
“Well… Raman, it’s for me to know…. “ she said getting little upset, she didn’t know why or maybe she did!
“Yes of course…” he said and looked away.
“What about your girlfriend?” she asked.
“What about her?” he asked confused.
“I mean you didn’t bring her with you?” she asked little flustered.
“Does it matter?” he asked.
“No.” she said and then silence fell over them, only to be broken by her for once, “I’ll go now…” and she took a one step away when his words halted her.
“It ended… I wish I had not taken not this much of time to realize what I really want… but I did. And now I think it is too late for everything…” and then turned towards her to look into her eyes and asked like a last hope, “I am right na?”
She looked at him, and her heart broke seeing him like that…, “What are you talking about? What ended Raman?”
While he looked at her with a heartbreaking smile and said, “Nothing… it’s just you are marrying someone… while you still love me.”
“So what you would have wanted me to do? To just have waited for you whole my life, knowing full well that you have someone and that you will never return my feelings?” she said angrily.
He just looked at her for a moment and then turned to walk away, when she held him by the of his back of the collar and said angrily, “What? What it is… why you always feel that I will let you leave after you have given your stupid lecture? But you know what I will… I will let you leave but before that you’ll have to tell me, why all this now?”
“Because I love you… I know that our cultures are different, that either of our’s family will not allow this arrangement… and I know this is sudden proclamation of my feelings, but trust me, I have gradually felt for you… from the day I came to know about your feelings to the day we conversed, to today, now. I know I never said anything in this regard to you and only tried to ignore your feelings and my bubbling emotions in your regard and this might be coming as a shock but my feelings for you are true. I was confused… yes! But now I am not, and so when I was sure about my feelings I confessed.” She was in shock hearing to all that, so he said as if assuring, “I love you Ishita…”
“Raman… I…” she said as a single tear dropped from the corner of her eye, “I am getting married within three months. I can’t… this is wrong… I am not…. I am sorry Raman… I am so sorry…” and with that she ran away and all he could hear was her muffled cry. He pushed back his hair and leaned towards the pillar on his back and sighed, “This going to be more tough than he imagined…” he thought.
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[A week before her marriage.]
“Do love me Ishu?”
“Come on IShu, humari shaadi ho rahi hai… aur tum abhi bhi….”
“Subbu… aisa kuch nahi hai…. Tum jante ho ke woh chapter over ho chukka hai…”
“Ye tum keh rahi ho… you don’t even love me Ishu… you are marrying me just for the sake of marrying…”
“Mujhe iss bare mein kuch baat nahi karni…”
“Tumhe kabhi kuch nahi kehna hota…. Jab uski baat aati hai tum aise hi kehti ho… humesha. I just don’t understand… tum clear kyu nahi keh deti ke mujhse kabhi pyaar nahi kar paugi?”
“Subbu… aisa kuch nahi hai… samajhne ki koshish karo… time ke saath sab theek ho jayega…. I promise.”
“Ye kabhi theek nahi hoga,.. tum humesha usse hi pyaar karti rahogi… aur Ishu… mai tumse pyaar krta hun….”
Her heart pained hearing him, this was wrong… she was hurting him and lifelong this will remain like this… “I’ll talk to you in tomorrow… good night…”
“Think about it, okay… good night.”
And they hanged.
_______________________________
“Tum yahan kyu aaye ho Raman?” she asked desperately.
He just looked at her, like looking for the first time. How can he ignore her for all eternity like that!
She was standing before him in classic red lehenga, and heavy jwellery. Everything looked exquisite on her, and her fragile beauty was in itself more tempting than her supposedly deep back choli… why was she never out of his mind from the time Aviral pointed to him of her crush that seemed noticeable to most but not and never to him! But since that point in school, he noticed her everytime she came in view… he would hide his little peek from everyone and took special efforts to never get caught by her, the most!
It was all like planned, he followed her with is eyes almost everywhere and everytime, he was not at all fascinated by her but would take a glance at her at every point he could. It became his favorite pastime until they were in school, and he enjoyed her attention that was at all times on him!
He would cross her path just to see her nervous, just to take her fresh scent… and the way she would put her free strands behind her ear nervously, it felt so good to be liked, to her desired especially by her.
Though he didn’t like her at all… but he loved the way she would bite into her lower lip all the time whenever he would be near, and he would many times make conditions that she would do such things in nervousness. But it was true that he didn’t liked her. How can he when he was in relationship with another girl throughout his college, no matters that she haunted him at all possible moments with her girlfriend, and made him feel guilty of kissing another girl, but he just didn’t liked her. And now here he was, in her marriage venue infront of her, who was beautifully clad in red lehenga and was positively getting married to another man, someone else than him, a person whom she didn’t love!
“Mujhe tumhara nahi pata but I am here for my love.” He replied, never removing his gaze from over her.
She shivered under his intense gaze, and she looked away for a moment and said, “Love… what love? Raman, it’s not a joke. I am getting married.” She said and looked at him, like stating the obvious.
“I can see that. But.. are you really marrying, because last time I checked marriage was supposed to be binding of two souls and hearts in matrimony… is it that for you too?” he shot back.
She just let out a breath of frustration and looked away, “Why… Raman… I had forgotten everything of my past… I was moving on…” and then turned angrily towards him and said, “Did you forget what you said to me on call that day?... because I didn’t.” and the turned away from him, and towards window from where the groom entering the venue could be seen clearly.
“Look at him… he is the guy who loves me, and never expects anything… I feel guilty that things with him would never be that normal like other girls have… but I cannot break his heart…” she said simply.
Raman can near the window she was standing by and looked at him, “And just because you don’t want to break his heart now, you’ll break his heart all life long, because you know that you can never love him or anyone, you love me Ishita, just me like I Love you….”
“What should I do?” she asked tiredly.
“Tell him the truth, and marry me. Otherwise you would be destroying three lives by taking this one decision…” he answered trying to make her understand.
“But everyone’s there… what would everyone will think? My family… it will be an emotional mess… my family likes him very much… and what about your family Raman? What about Punjabi and south Indian clash? Have you even thought about it? Would be except me?” she asked flabbergasted and anxious.
He held her by shoulders and said calmly, “ We both love each other and that is all I need to make you accepted in my family. And I am sure your family too will not oppose us… they might be confused but we’ll make them understand, I promise.”
She nodded… and then looked down the window… towards her family and then at subbu, and then at Raman… and then took a step forward and hugged him, taking him by surprise she whispered, “I Love you.” And slightly nuzzled her face in his chest.
He looked at her, curiously and said fazed, “I Love you too…”
__________________________________
Then they both went down together hand in hand and proclaimed their love for each other, and after a little confusion it was settled to call his parents too, and when the bhalla’s came nothing remained peaceful; and after much buttering and coaxing they agreed, especially Mr. Bhalla, while Mr. Iyer to nodded his head and Simmi his sister and Romesh, his brother excepted Ishita immediately.
__________________________________
After completion of all rituals, finally they were left alone, they waited back in a honeymoon suite.
“I never thought I would be married before twenty eight.” Raman sighed, as they entered the HM suite, while Ishita looked all around and then at him and smiled, and said,
“I never imagined myself to be so lucky to be married the person I loved…”
While Raman smiled naughtily and said, “But you are… but it’s not easy to live with me you know…”
She looked at him and shook her head and moved towards mirror, in a desperate attempt to remove her heavy jewelry when he said, “What are you doing? Isn’t that my duty…” he smirked raising a brow.
While she looked at him confused, “Ok.”
He motioned her to come near him, and she stood and went ahead and halted infront of him, “Sit” he ordered.
She did. While he slowly and slowly removed all the jewelry and opened her hairs from the confinements of atleast hundred hair pins! When she stood to move towards the bathroom but he held her back grasping her palm and stood and came near her and whispered, “honor me” and then without a word his fingers travelled towards the strings holding her heavy lehenga.”
While her breath hitch, and heart beats grew, she didn’t know what to say or do… she was hell nervous and when his fingers touched her bare skin of belly she shivered, “Raman..” and closed her eyes tightly.
“This lehenga is so heavy…” he muttered, while she said nothing. His fingers were near the strings but seemed nowhere near untying it… rather they were busy touching her having the feel of her satin smooth skin, they would travel north outlining her breasts and sometimes her naval, and the finally he opened the knot holding the lehenga together letting it drop to the ground. And with that her breathing increase while now his hand went up behind towards her back and unhooked the blouse, and his fingers were on his shoulder the next moment removing the blouse, and he let it drop to the ground, and there she stood naked infront of him, in nothing but a lower UG, and the red bangles, black beads chain and a pair of anklets and a big nose ring. Her forehead adorned with red kumkum while her lips were still smeared with red lipstick. She was looking gorgeous that way too.
He then, removed his own clothing and pushed her onto their bed and came over her, loving her like no one had ever imagined only dreamed, and promising her love for eternity…
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