Title: Unsolicited Intimacy
Series: Kasautii Zindagii Kay 2, locally known as Made for Each Other.
Pairing: Anurag and Komolika/Sonalika
Genre: Angst, non-romance (at best- dark humour)
Rating: Unapologetically M (‘cause you need to be mature to truly understand it)
Timeline: Current (Ep 329/330)
Written: Late December 2019 – last fic for the year.
Proofed: Still to be completed
Language: International (UK) English, with American dialogue (quotation)tags.
Word Count: 3,580
Status: Complete
AN: I have always said: never anger my muse when I’ve given her free reign. If anything,she is relentless in her quest for retribution… to the point of foregoing other fanfics. (in short – I lost the fight)
*·.·´¯`·.·* *·.·´¯`·. K Z K .·´¯`·.·* *·.·´¯`·.·*
There was a different feeling about the place, something that seemed familiar but at the same time exciting. He had no idea why he felt what he did only that he liked the atmosphere of the place, which was why he must have bought it initially.
Anurag stood in front of the modest farmhouse and for some reason understanding why it was not as elaborate as their other properties. An elaborate house would not have suited either the setting or the mood of the locale. He looked at the house,trying to figure out what it was about the place that made it seem… different…Because if he were honest with himself there was nothing apparently special about the location or it’s surroundings.
“It’s quaint don’t you think?” Sonalika asked as she came to stand besides him, once again snaking her arm around his and pushing herself up against him. He’d never liked clingy girls or public displays of affection, so how was it that he had married such a girl… or had she been his mother’s choice. Possibly, especially since his mother had made it her mission to find the best girl for him… yet somehow that thought did not sit right.
Sonalika snapped her fingers in front of his face, calling, “Hello! Where did you go?”
“I was just thinking.”
“What about?”
“About this place?”
“What about it?”Sonalika asked looking around them, “When your mother said you had a house built here I expected something more grand, more in line with your home.”
Anurag shook his head, “I don’t know, it would not feel right.”
“Well if you don’t like the place you can always sell it. With the improvements your certain to make a good profit from it.”
Anurag could no explain the absolute resistance he felt in his being at even the thought. It was as if everything in him rejected even just the thought.
“No there is something about it that I like.”
“Really?”Komolika asked with feigned surprise. “It’s a little trite for my taste, but then it is the countryside.”
“I think it suits the location perfectly, come let’s get settled.” Anurag said managing to extract himself from her grasp. He knew why his mother had been instant that they spend some time together, but for some reason things just felt too strange around Sonalika. He knew they were married, but for some reason he could not bring himself to consummate it. And from what he’d determined they had not consummated their marriage before his accident either… And then there was Prerna. He knew he should not draw comparisons between the two women but he could not help it.
With Sonalika he felt some familiarity, but he had no idea whether it was real or just simply there because of the accident. Along with that was his family’s reaction to her. While his mother had been welcoming of her, and quick to accept her as the daughter in law of the house, his father seemed only to tolerate her. In fact,since his return after the accident, his father seemed less tolerant of his mother. At first he thought it could have been concern, but recently his remarks had turned more acidic than mocking – there was also a more impatient tone to his voice. It had on more than one occasion caused Anurag to question whether his condition was not responsible for the shift in his father’s mood and behaviour.
Then there was Prerna. He still had no idea what to make of her, or what he was feeling for her, all he knew is that with each passing day his fondness for her increased.He like being close to her, she just somehow calmed and focused him, although he knew she could be just as inciting. And then there was the entire situation with her baby… He did not like the fact that she was as far along and he still had no idea as to who her husband and the father of her child was. He really hoped that the detective would find the guy, for he would be certain to give him a piece of his mind.
He had often wondered whether it was the fact that Prerna had married that had resulted in him consenting to his own marriage… but then no one really ever discussed anything with him so he had been unable to even test that theory. But if it was so, then he could to some extent understand why he could not get close to Sonalika… But then he also could not understand it. Why would he abstain from his wife? It was not as if he believed in it….Yet he could not bring himself to be close to her, nor could he understand his reaction to her touch. He was certain that any other male’s response would have been shameless, but he simply could not bring himself to that point.
Just as they were about to enter the house he heard temple bells, and frowned. It was strange that there would be a temple situated so close to his home, or perhaps the serenity of the area was due to the temple. He for a moment looked at Sonalika, then shook his head in confusion. Sonalika was not a very religious person, so the presence of the temple would not have been a consideration on her behalf.
With her concerned not fully hidden in her tone, Sonalilka asked, “What happened? Have you remembered something?”
Anurag shook his head, “I was just wondering something?”
“What?”
“The Temple, it just does not make sense. Mom said I bought this property for my wife…” Anurag the made a waiving gesture with his hand, as if to dismiss the thought and then said, “Go ahead inside, I’m just going to attend the prayers at the temple.”
Angry Sonalika stomped into the decorated room, ranting, “Enough Anurag! Tonight you will be mine, and that too right here where you and Prerna conceived that little brat!There will no longer be beautiful memories of the two of you together. It will just be you and me, Anurag. God I hate that kid! You’d swear it has the protection of the gods, because no matter what I do I can’t kill either it or Prerna! So now I’ll have to have one of my own.”
Anurag entered the temple courtyard, which felt oddly familiar. He knew better than to question the sensations that descended on him. He removed his shoes and then bent down to touch the stairs before proceeding.
There were only a few attending prayers, so he reached up and rang the bell before taking his position amongst them. He placed his hands together and looked at the idle of Goddess Durga for several moments before closing his eyes and lowering his head. It had been a while since he had last attended prayers, and he wondered if it was perhaps Sonalika’s influence.
He shook his head in the hope of clearing his mind. He wanted to only focus on the question he needed answered, but could not decide which… Prena, her baby, her husband, and then there was this place… He wanted all the answers even though he knew he had no right to have such questions.
Finally he settled on a single question, a single request from the Goddess to help him understand what is he felt: Why does this place feel special? He listened to the priest’s chants allowed himself to soak up the atmosphere of the place only to suddenly jolt. His eyes flew open as an image fixed itself in his mind. Fleeting at first. A girl dressed in red, no dressed in bridal wear. Closing his eyes again he reached for the image but it seemed to elude him.Clenching his fists in irritation he tried to again clear his mind, hoping the image would again return. This time there was a face, a familiar face, eye she’d seen everyday.
“Prerna,” he whispered, and then the image cleared. Prerna in bridal wear, with someone holding sindoor in front of her. Again he tried to press for more only to have the image again disappear. His eyes shot open, his gaze fixed on the Goddess,the image suddenly seeming far too familiar to him. He looked about the temple,recognizing it instantly.
The priest finished his prayers and started handing out the offerings to everyone. “It is good to see you here,” The priest warmly greeted as Anurag waived his hands over the lamp then placed them within each other to accept the offering.
“I have been busy,” Anurag answered.
“Where is your wife?”
Anurag for a moment thought of Sonalika and wondered if she had attended prayers here with him earlier. “She is at the house.”
“Ah, yes, it is understandable. The little one should be arriving soon.”
The man’s words jolted Anurag but before he could ask anything the priest had moved on. He shook his head in confusion. They were not expecting a child, were they?
He broke off a small piece of the offerings and had it, then turned to leave. Even before he reached the steps his mind started racing. Had he married Prerna. He tried to recall the image and found it easier. No, it didn’t make sense. If he’d married Prerna then it would have been an elaborate ceremony. Their fathers had been best friends, he could only imagine the type of arrangements their fathers would have wanted… That’s why he knew their wedding would not have been small,unless Prerna’s marriage had been fixed with someone unsuitable and she had instead eloped for love… but then her current situation did not make sense. And in such a matter had he been present as a friend to witness her wedding? And why couldn’t he see her husband’s face? If that was the case, then he would not spare her husband – no one treated his friend like that.
Instead of the answers he had sought at the temple, he returned to the house with more questions. The place was cast in darkness causing him to frown, he was certain the builder had said the place had been completed and had power. Shaking his head and casting aside his doubts for a moment, he approached the house,calling, “Sonalilka! Where are you?”
“In here,” she called from within the house.
It was dark but he could still make out a path through the living area and towards the one room where he could see a light flickering.
As he walked into the room he immediately knew what mood his wife was in, however he was more concerned by the lack of power.
“How long had the lights been out?” He demanded the looked around the room for his phone, he could use the flashlight to go check.
“It’s been out all along, but I don’t mind, don’t you think it’s more romantic like this?”
Anurag could feel her hands moving up along his back towards his shoulders. He fought his instinctive desire to step away, trying to determine exactly when it was that his wife’s touch seemed so strange to him… or had it always, he just simply could not remember it, in the same manner as he could not remember their wedding.
He turned to face her and then felt her hands move over his chest, and for a moment soaked up the sensation, uncertain whether he should step away or allow her to continue. That was another thing that puzzled him, she was always the one who tried to initiate – why not him, was there something wrong with him?
Look here, Sonalika husked, using her fingers to turn his head so that he looked at her.“Tonight is about us. And we don’t need power for that. She pushed against him and instinctively he gave way, stepping back. She advanced again and the process repeated itself until his knees hit the back of the bed and he fell onto it.
“Now that’s better,” Sonalika said as she came to rest partially over him. “You’re always in a hurry to be somewhere or do something, we never have any time together.”
A nervousness filled Anurag as he looked up at her.
Sonalika brushed her hands over his chest. She started to teasingly undo the top button. Before halting momentarily to look at him. “It’s okay, relax, I’m your wife.”
He captured her head and held it in place, something urged him to do it, although she misunderstood his intent and coyly said, “That’s more like it.”
But instead of moving closer to her he held her in place and stared deep into her eyes.
“Oh yes I forgot, you’re more of a romantic.” Sonalika said and pressed against him.
Her words confused him, they seemed strange, wrong. Finally she held still, her gaze locked with his. She moved closer, closer… but the eyes were wrong. He braced against her, holding her head in place as he broke eye contact and looked to the side.
He wondered where the thought had come from, eyes.
He felt her fingers pressed against his cheek until he once again looked at her. “We’ll take it slow, there’s no need to rush, we have the whole evening.”
Again her words seemed wrong, her actions wrong.
He knew she had rights as a wife, and that as her husband he was compelled to fulfil those rights and duties, only he could not bring himself to. He closed his eyes,thinking it might be better, easier if he only focused on feeling. He tried to relax into her touch, only his muscles would not respond.
As sudden as a lightning strike, a series of images flashed before his eyes. Her eyes as she watched him, the manner she griped his hand tighter and her breath hitched as they became one. Her body pressing against his. The way she gasped his name.
His eyes shot open as his hands shifted to her hips. And with more force than he had intended, he pushed her away from him, casting her onto the other side of the bed.
“What the?”Sonalika demanded on landing, immediately turning to face him.
Anurag shot up pressing his palms against his eyes and shaking his head. He clenched his hands, pinched his lips and eyes as he tried to make sense of the images. Again they did not make any sense.
Angrily Sonalika demanded, “What the hell is wrong with you?” but on noticing his expression fell silent.
He felt suffocated, as if the walls were closing in on him. He quickly looked about the room and spotted his phone, then collected it before leaving. “I’m going to check on the generator,” he threw over his shoulder.
Nausea filled him,twisting his stomach and his insides. He had no idea where it came from or whether it would subside on his own, but he could hardly move once he’d stepped out of the house. He looked up at the moon as if somehow expecting it to fix the mess he was in. The images were easy enough to understand, it was their implication he found difficult to accept.
Him and Prerna?
He looked in the direction of the Temple and remembered the priest’s words. Did that mean her baby was his as well? And if so, were he and Prerna even married? He had no idea whom he could, or even should, trust. No one had been honest with him from the start.
He thought back of the day at the hospital, the heartbeat, the baby kicking… it had been his.
Anurag clenched his hands and lowered onto his haunches. At that moment hated everyone for lying to him, even Prerna. Did they really think he would not accept the child as his, that he would doubt her for even a moment? He dropped his phone as he placed his hands over his nose and mouth pinching his eyes as he swallowed against the bile that rose.
How he had hated that man, the man who had dared to touch Prerna and leave hr in such a state,only to discover that it was him… and why had his family not taken care of his wife and child in his absence. Why was she staying with her family when she should be part of his?
So many times he had asked her, and every time she had spoken politely and said that the baby’s father was close by. or with her, and he’d been too foolish to understand the meaning.
And as much as he wanted to hate everyone a sense of jubilation filled him. He was going to be a father. He was the father of Prerna’s baby. Or was he.
He quickly moved and picked up his phone. The first thing he had to do was re-establish the power and then he’ll call…. He had no idea who he should call. He knew Prerna would not answer his questions. He’ll call Anupam, and if Anupam refused to answer him he would ask his father.
He checked the generator and quickly found the problem. Systematically he worked through the start up sequence and moments after it sprung to life, the house lit up.
He turned to look at the house, for a moment hesitating. He had no idea what he should do with Sonalika, or how she would take the news… But first he needed to confirm the facts.
He pulled out the phone and hit Anupam’s speed dial hoping he would quickly answer. From the manner he answered the phone, Anurag knew he was with the others. He however needed answers so cut right to the chase. “Anupam, I’m going to make this easy on you, only yes and no answers okay.”
“Sure thing Anurag, has the electrician reached the farmhouse?”
Anurag was confused and said, “I’ll ask the questions, okay.”
“Yes I understand, so is the power back on yet?”
“Power?” Anurag asked for a moment confused, he however answered, “Yes it was just the generator that was switched off.”
“Good, good,”Anupam replied however Anurag could sense he was moving away from the others.“Right I’m in the clear, what did you want to ask me?”
“Prerna?”
“Yes want about her?”
“She’s my wife?”Anurag stated
Anupam remained silent for a while, causing Anurag to insist, “Were we married? Yes or no!”
“I am not going to lie to you, so yes.”
“And the baby is mine as well?”
“Again,yes.”
Anurag heard a rustling and turned to look, noticing Prerna with a man. Instantly red hot rage shot through him, what was the man doing with her at this hour? “Prerna?”
His voice carried over the line and Anupam replied, “Is Prerna there.”
“Yes.” Anurag hesitantly answered wondering how much of their conversation she had overheard.
“Mother in law sent her with the electr…” He however did not finish for Mohini’s voice carried over the line. “You tell Anu, that once Prerna has seen what she needs to see,then he must send her home.”
Instantly his blood turned cold, the farmhouse, the decorations, Prerna there…
He glanced tothe farmhouse, knowing he’d bought it for his wife… his wife Prerna. It was where.
He turned to look at Prerna, at the same time dismissing Anupam with a curt, “I’ll call you later.”
He had not even ended the call when she said, “Seeing as you no longer need the services of the electrician, We’ll leave. Good night Anurag.” For some reason it sounded more like a goodbye.
“Prerna wait! We need to talk.”
She stopped as best as she could, given the terrain and her condition, and turned back towards him, “At this hour? Talk about what?”
“The baby?”
Prerna turned to the electrician and said, “Wait for me at the vehicle, I’ll be there now.” Once the man was out of earshot she turned her attention to Anurag and held her hand up to silence him. You know what, Anurag, it’s good that you now know.”
Immediately Anurag realized he had overheard most of his conversation with Anupam.
“Prerna!” Anurag called, however she again held up her hand and shook her head, “I don’t want to hear it. I have seen what your mother wanted me to see, so go, just go back to your current wife and go conceive your next child.” Her shoulders drooped as she said, “You at least could have been more considerate, but I have gotten the message.” Prerna gestured towards the house, but added nothing before turning away again.
Prerna! He called after her but she threw up both her hands as she walked away, flatly stating, “I don’t want to hear it.’
Anurag then turned to look at the farmhouse,then remembered the significance of its location. His entire body went cold.
She’d know, his mother had known that he’d bought it for Prerna, she may not have realized the significance, but Prerna knew. His mother may not have realized the pain she’d inflicted on Prerna… Or maybe she knew, and had done it intentionally. If that were the case, he would never forgive her.
Again he covered his nose and mouth with his hands, but this time it was to muffle the scream of frustration that seemed to originate deep from within his soul.
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