Well, basically I had to remove Ansh from the equation... I am focusing only on Pia and here Ansh has absolutely no role. To, idiot hi bana diya...
Even I would prefer EDV to be cunning and sassy... But, filhal kisi tarah hatana tha...
Also, I had elaborated this part in my previous draft but while writing the entire thing again, I forgot several parts...
Okay 😊
Anyways, what about the other parts of this chapter??
Other parts were awesome. Specially I loved the twist of evil Sarpika. 😈😈😈 Besides, for once Saavi used her brain instead of her temper. So it was brilliant. 😎😎😎
Mera ek khawish aur hain behna!!! 🤓🤓🤓
Can Nishant give some gaalis to Gs in the next part seeing their desperation for Ansh and negligence towards Piya? 😇😇😇
Other parts were awesome. Specially I loved the twist of evil Sarpika. 😈😈😈
Evil Sarpika is the basic premise of this story... 😈😈😈😈
Well, I actually wanted to see Pia as evil... So, this idea popped up in my head... Waise bhi, you very well know what kind of wierd ideas come in my brain...😆
Besides, for once Saavi used her brain instead of her temper. So it was brilliant. 😎😎😎
I know... I dislike Saavi using her temper instead of brains... So, I decided to make her use her brain this time...
Mera ek khawish aur hain behna!!! 🤓🤓🤓
Can Nishant give some gaalis to Gs in the next part seeing their desperation for Ansh and negligence towards Piya? 😇😇😇
Well, next part is a bit different... You have to wait for that...
Edited by Nikki_srk - 4 years agoWell, next part is a bit different... You have to wait for that...
Okay. Waise bhi, sabr ka phal meetha hota hain 😆
In this case I have no idea ki kitna meetha hoga... Hoga bhi ya nahi, pata nahi!! Because I am just taking a chance here with the next part...
Edited by Nikki_srk - 4 years agoIn this case I have no idea ki kitna meetha hoga... Hoga bhi ya nahi, pata nahi!! Because I am just taking a chance here with the next part...
Whether it turns out good or bad your premise is unusual..intriguing... We're already sold on it.
So write without any pressure of expectations . Be fearless. We're not gonna reject your story or be disappointed.
Edited by Hallyumint - 4 years agoStory twist is very nice Nikki like Nishant ka Ansh ko mohana ke khilaf katna nice. Keep posting next also.
Thank you so much for your review... Glad you liked it.
Nikki, so have mixed views. It's well written. But I felt you have mixed tracks of the show and created it. There's nothing new, or you are reminded of those tracks with a few modifications. Loved Ansh's dialogues of crying and smirk. But other than that Ansh seemed a puppet, without his own mind and it made no sense.
Nikki, so have mixed views. It's well written. But I felt you have mixed tracks of the show and created it. There's nothing new, or you are reminded of those tracks with a few modifications. Loved Ansh's dialogues of crying and smirk. But other than that Ansh seemed a puppet, without his own mind and it made no sense.
Yes I have... I have taken idea from different tracks of the show only.
Yes, I made Ansh a puppet here... Only because I wanted to remove him from the scene... So, I took the simple way out.
Thanks for your review... 😊
Part: 3
Who am I?
"Meri aatma kahan gayi hai?"
Pia's eyelids felt as heavy as lead as she struggled to push them open... Finally, after an infinite amount of struggle she pried them open. The blanket covering her felt as if it weighed several thousand kilograms... Finally after a great difficulty, she sat up.
She was looking carefully at the people around her... She found their faces familiar but struggled to recollect their names...
Pia (thinking): Ye mujhe kya ho gaya hai? Ye saare chehre jaane pehchaane lag rahe hain par mujhe kuch yaad kyon nahi hai?
She looked carefully at the people around her and realised that they were all crying...
Pia (calling out to them): Kaun hain aap log aur ro kyon rahe hain? Kya main aapko janti hoon? Mujhe kuch yaad nahi aa raha hai... Kya aap log mujhe kuch batayenge?
Still there was no change in their expressions... And she found it very wierd.
Pia (thinking again): Yahan main kab se in logon se baat karne ki koshish kar rahi hoon aur ye log hain ki bas ghoore hi ja rahe hain... Jawab hi nahi de rahe hain...
She looked at them carefully... They were not staring at her. They were staring at the bed. Following their gazes, she looked at the bed and found... Herself??
Pia: Ye kaise ho sakta hai? Main to yahan baithi hoon... Aur main hi bed par leti bhi hoon? Aisa kaise ho sakta hai? Ye ho kya raha hai???
Looking at herself again she realised that she hadn't pushed aside the blankets while sitting up... In fact, the blankets were still there and were passing right through her...
She heard a faint voice beckoning her... Looking around for the source of the voice, she saw a wierd shadow on the ground. None of the other people in the room seemed to take notice of either the voice or the shadow... She decided to follow that voice and the shadow, no matter where it led her...
She got off the bed and started walking towards the direction in which the shadow was moving... At first, she had a great difficulty in walking as she couldn't see her feet. Then finally, by not looking on the ground, she was able to walk without stumbling... At first, she felt really weak but her strength seemed to increase as the time passed and as she neared the room from where the voice seemed to be coming.
She reached that room and reached out to open the door. At that same moment, she heard a voice behind her...
" Bhabhi, aap yahan?"
She turned around to see two people standing in front of her, a girl and a boy... Their faces seemed familiar. But who were they? She tried to recollect their names but couldn't.
She was recalled from her imagination by their voices... They were calling out to her. Not able to recognise them, she turned around once more to enter the room when the girl spoke up...
"Bhabhi, aap yahan kya kar rahi ho? Aur aap yahan aayi kaise? Chaliye, wahan room main sab aapko dhoondh rahe honge..."
Pia: Mujhe tum logon ke saath kahi nahi jaana...
This time the boy spoke up...
"Lekin kyon Bhabhi? Wahan sab aapko dhoondh rahe honge... Sab kitne pareshaan ho rahe honge..."
Pia was getting irritated...
Pia: Ek baar main samajh nahi aata kya? Bola na maine ki mujhe tum logon ke saath kahin nahi jaana...
Still they didn't budge... They were adamant on taking her with them....
God!!! Those two were hell bent on pestering the life out of her... She was losing her temper fast... She felt a throbbing sensation in her head and suddenly her tail appeared... She felt that it had happened with her before also but she didn't care... All she wanted was to drive those two away... And she didn't care what she would have to do...
She hit them with her tail and opening the door, she entered the room, without turning back...
Outside, Rishi and Neha got up... They were completely baffled... Their Bhabhi had attacked them... Their Bhabhi??? They could not believe that such a thing had happened...
Rishi: Kya tha ye??? I can't beleive it. Bhabhi hum par aise kaise attack kar sakti hain?? This is just impossible... Neha, yahan definitely kuch to gadbad hai...
Neha: Tu theek keh raha hai Rishi... Yahan par zarur kuch gadbad hai... Hume jaldi jakar sabko is baare main batana hoga.
And they both rushed to break this news to their family members...
It was dark inside the room... The lights had been dimmed. Pia saw a silhouette of a lady standing there... She could not see her face due to the dim light. She moved ahead to have a proper look at that lady. Slowly, she turned to face her... Pia felt that her face was familiar but she didn't recognise her...
Lady: To tum aa hi gayi?
Pia: Haan... Kya tum mujhe janti ho?
Lady: Haan...
Pia: Aur kya main tumhe janti hoon?
Lady: Haan... Bahut achhe se.
Pia: To phir mujhe tumse janna hai ki...
Lady: Main tumhe sab bataungi par usse pehle ye dekhte hain ki tum khud kitna janti ho...
She closed her eyes and a black smoke appeared out of nowhere... Pia was confused... She couldn't understand what was happening around her... The smoke started taking the form of several faces...
Lady: Inhe pehchanti ho?
Pia stared at all those faces for a long time... They were the same faces which she had seen a little while ago... There was the face of that woman who had been crying continuously... Then there was that bearded man who had been standing next to her like a dumb person... Then there were three other people whom she had seen in that room but hadn't paid attention to... Last but not the least we're those two people whom she had attacked outside the room... She hacked her brain but couldn't remember any of their names...
Pia: Kaun hain ye?
Lady: Kya kaha tumne? Maine theek se suna nahi...
Pia: Maine pucha kaun hain ye log?
Lady: Kya?
Pia (nearly screaming): KAUN HAIN YE LOG??
Lady: Koi nahi...
And with a wave of her hand, the faces disappeared...
She waved her hand again and the smoke began to take the shape of something else... A scene appeared in front of her... She saw three thrones and herself and that lady seated on two of them, the third one being empty... Not paying attention to the third one, she focused her attention on the two occupied ones...
Pia: Kya hai ye sab? Dekhne main to koi sapna lagta hai...
Lady: Hai to sapna hi par ek aisa sapna jo sach bhi ho sakta hai, agar tum chaho to...
Pia: Woh kaise?
Lady: Zyada kuch nahi... Bas tumhe ise khatm karna hoga...
She waved her hand for a third time and yet another face appeared... Pia was shocked. She nearly screamed...
"Tum pagal to nahi ho gayi ho???"
For the face which appeared was her own!!
Lady: Kya hua?
Pia: Main khud ko hi maar doon? Pagal nahi hoon main!!!
Lady: To main kahan tumse khud ko marne ke liye keh rahi hoon... Bhool gayi wo shareer jo us kamre main pada hai jise tumne thodi der pehle dekha tha??
Pia: Lekin use marne se mera kya fayda?
Lady: Sabse bada fayda to ye hai ki tumhe tumhara poora shareer mil jayega... Isse bada koi fayda ho sakta hai kya?
Pia started thinking whether she should agree to what she was saying or not... Finally, she decided to agree with what she was saying.
Pia: To mujhe ise khatm karna hoga?
Lady: Haan... Par ye kaam itna aasan bhi nahi hai. Iske liye tumhe thodi taiyari karni padegi...
Pia: Wo sab to theek hai... Par tumne mujhe apna naam tak nahi bataya... Kaun ho tum?
Lady: Main?? (Laughing) Main... Mohona... Ekayan... Duniya ki sabse shaktishali Daayan.
Pia: Mohona, Ekayan, duniya ki sabse shaktishali Daayan?? To agar tum itni hi shaktishali ho to ise khud kyon nahi maar deti? Mujhse kyon keh rahi ho?
Mo: Main chahu to ise ek minute main khatm kar sakti hoon... Par agar maine ise maar diya to tumhe apna poora shareer wapas nahi milega... Aise hi ghoomti rahogi zindagi bhar....
While Pia was contemplating whether her decision of beleiving Mohona was correct or not, Mohona was thinking something else...
Mo (thinking): Ye nahi janti ki mera asli maksad kya hai... Main kyon is se us Pia ko marne ke liye keh rahi hoon... Aage chal kar ye mere liye khatra sabit ho sakti hai kyonki iske andar zara bhi achhai nahi hai... Agar us Pia ne ise maar diya to mere liye khatra kam ho jayega kyoki us Pia ko to main kabhi bhi maar sakti hoon... Agar isne us Pia ko maar diya to Ansh ko burai ke raste se wapas lane ka aakhiri rasta bhi band ho jayega... Aur ek baar main Ansh ko kha loon to ye bhi mujhe maar nahi payegi... Koi bhi kisi ko bhi maare, dono taraf se fayda to mera hi hai...
After a few minutes, Pia spoke up...
Pia: Soch rahi hoon ki tumhari baat bhi galat to nahi hai... Waise bhi, is aadhe shareer ke saath main kuch nahi kar sakti.
Mo: Mujhe yakeen tha tum meri baat zarur samjhogi...
Pia: Lekin main ise maarungi kaise?
Mo: Main batati hoon...
Edited by Nikki_srk - 3 years ago
