I know... And I have actually gained quite a lot of confidence after those two stories...
Part: 2
The After Effects
Both Nishant and Saavi were shocked... They could not believe their eyes... Pia had started disappearing.
Sa: Dad, ye kya ho raha hai?
Ni: Gudiya ka shareer dheere-dheere gayab hona shuru ho chuka hai...
Sa: Lekin Dad, aisa kaise ho sakta hai?
Ni: Ye sab us Jamuni Vish ka asar hai...
Meanwhile, Mohona was watching them...
Mo (thinking): To inhe pata chal hi gaya ki ye sab maine kiya hai... Aur ab ye log Pia ko theek karne ka rasta bhi dhoondh lenge... Nahi!! Main aisa nahi hone dungi... Isse pehle ye log Pia ko theek karne ka rasta nikale, mujhe is Pia ko hi apne raste se hatana hoga... Lekin ye kaam main khud nahi karungi... Ye kaam karega mera Davansh beta Ansh... Agar Ansh ne Pia ko khatm kar diya to uske burai ke raste se wapas lautne ka aakhiri rasta bhi band ho jayega...
And she called out to Ansh in her mind...
Mo (in her mind): Ansh... Ansh... Tum sun rahe ho meri baat?? Mujhe tumhari zarurat hai... Abhi isi waqt yahan aao...
At that same time, Ansh was arguing with Vedashree and others in the balcony...
Ved: Ansh, tu aisa bartav kyon kar raha hai? Mujhe tujhse se ummeed nahi thi...
Ansh (as if shocked and crying): Maa...
Ved (happily): Ansh...
Ansh (wiping his tears with a smirk): Itne aansu mat bahaiye warna yahan aapke aansuon se ek talab ban jayega...
Ved (crying again): Tu aisa kaise bol sakta hai Ansh?
Ansh: Simple. Apne muh se...
Vedashree started crying even more loudly... Everyone was sad seeing Ved in this state. Their eyes were moist...
Ansh (looking at all of them): Ek baat bataiye... Aap logon main rone ki itni capacity kahan se aati hai? Aur usse pehle ye bataiye ki aap log itna rote kyu hain? Kya kisi National Crying Competition main hissa lena hai aapko aur isiliye rone ki practice karte rehte hain? Ya phir aap logon ne poore ghar ko apne aansuon se dhone ki kasam kha rakhi hai?
Chai: Hum sab yahan ro rahe hain aur tujhe mazak soojh raha hai?
Ansh: Arre wahi to main pooch raha hoon... Aap sab itna rote kyu hain? Aur hamesha rote hi kyu rehte hain? Pak chuka hoon main aap logon ki roti hui shakalein dekh-dekh kar...
He broke off suddenly hearing Mohona's voice and left the balcony. He came to Mohona...
Ansh: Mujhe yahan kyu bulaya hai?
Mo: Tumse kuch zaruri baat karni hai...
Ansh: Kya?
Mo: Tumhe mera ek kaam karna hai...
Ansh: Kaam? To saaf saaf kahiye na ki aapko meri madad chahiye? Kaisi madad?
Mo (pointing towards Ni, Sa and Pia): Tumhe un teeno ko khatm karna hai...
Ansh: Hmmm... Theek hai, madad to main aapki kar doonga, par...
Mo: Par? Par kya?
Ansh: Par uske liye aapko theek dhang se madad mangni padegi...
Mo: Theek dhang se? Matlab??
Ansh: Uff... To ab aapko madad mangna bhi sikhana padega? Theek hai... Yahi sahi... Agar kisi se madad mangte hain to request karte hain, aise order nahi karte...
Mo: Saaf saaf kaho jo kehna chahte ho...
Ansh: Madad mangte samay awaz thodi neeche honi chahiye... Aur agar kisi se help mangte hain to ek shabd use kiya jaata hai... Jo aap karna bhool gayi...
Mo: Kaisa shabd?
Ansh: Wo shabd "P" se start hota hai aur "E" par khatm hota hai...
Mo: Samajh gayi... (in a low voice) Please...
Ansh (cupping his ear): Kuch kaha kya aapne??
Mo (in a slightly louder voice): Please...
Ansh: That's better... Theek hai, main aapka kaam kar doonga...
Mohona left from there and Ansh entered the room, ready to kill Pia, Nishant and Saavi. Both Nishant and Saavi tried to stop him but they were of no match for him. Finally, Saavi got an idea...
Sa: Dad, marna to hai hi, to kyon na Mohona ke haath se mare? Waise bhi, ek gulaam ke haathon mar kar mujhe apni beizzati nahi karwani...
Ansh, (angrily): Gulaam?? Kaun gulaam?
Ni: Tum... Aur kaun?
Ansh (losing his temper): Tum dono ki himmat kaise hui mujhe gulaam kehne ki?
Sa: Hum nahi keh rahe hain... Mohona khud keh rahi thi...
They knew very well that being a Daayan Vanshi, the Davansh will never be able to bear his insult and will get angry... And they decided to use this as a weapon against him...
Ansh (losing his temper completely): Kya bakwas kar rahe ho??
Ni: Bakwas nahi kar rahe hain... Sach bol rahe hain...
Sa: Dad, aap bhi kise samjhane main apna time waste kar rahe hain? Inhe humari baat par yakeen nahi hone wala...
Ni: Agar tumhe humari baato par yakeen nahi hai to khud jakar Daayan Vriksh se pooch lo... Tumhe khud hi saara sach pata chal jayega.
Ansh: Theek hai... Lekin yaad rakhna agar tumhari baat jhoothi nikli to main tum dono ka kya haal karunga, ye tum log soch bhi nahi sakte...
And he went away from there fuming in anger...
Sa (heaving a sigh of relief): Dad, bal bal bach gaye aaj...
Ni: Haan... Lekin ab hume aur bhi zyada savdhan rehna hoga.
Back in his room an infuriated Ansh summoned the Daayan Vriksh and ordered it to tell what was going on in Mohona's brain... He extended his hands and the tree extended it's roots... He felt a sudden surge of energy inside him... The Daayan Vriksh started showing him what he wanted to see...
He saw what Pia had seen... Mohona was holding him by his neck and was eating his age. He opened his eyes...
Ansh: Achha, to wo mujhe khana chahti hain... Mujhe?? Unhe to main chodunga nahi...
And he went to Mohona to deal with her...
In the hall, Mohona was happy as Ansh was going to kill Pia. Hearing footsteps, she turned around and saw Ansh advancing slowly towards her...
Mo: Tum yahan? To tumne un teeno ko maar diya?
Ansh: Nahi...
Mo: Par kyon?
Ansh: Kyonki unhe maarne se pehle main apne asli dushman ko khatm karne aaya hoon...
Mo: Asli dushman? Kaun?
Ansh: Aap...
Mo: Kya bakwas kar rahe ho?
Ansh (raising his voice): Bakwas nahi sach hai ye... Maine sab kuch dekh liya hai...
Hearing their voices, the Rathods also came out into the hall. At that exact moment, Ansh pushed Mohona and she fell down. He was about to take out the Daayan Ashru from his eyes and throw it at Mohona when she closed her eyes and shouted a single word
"STATUE..."
A black smoke came out of her body and entered Ansh and slowly he started turning into a statue. Heaving a sigh of relief, Mohona got up and left...
Back in the room, Nishant was frantically hunting through the pages of Sarp Shastra to find some clue about the Jamuni Vish...
The Rathods arrived there, teary eyed and told him that Mohona had turned Ansh into a statue and asked Nishant to bring him back to normal.
Ni: Main Ansh ko theek to kar doonga Vedashree ji par abhi nahi... Abhi uska patthar ka bane rehna hi humare liye faydemand hai.
Ved: Matlab?
Ni: Matlab ye Vedashree ji ki agar maine Ansh ko abhi theek kar diya to wo sabse pehle Gudiya ko maar dega..
Ved: Par kyon?
Ni: Kyonki Gudiya ki is halat ki wajah se Ansh poori tarah se ek Davansh ban chuka hai aur is samay wo hum sab ke liye ek khatra hai. Use wapas normal sirf Gudiya kar sakti hai aur ye baat Mohona ko pata hai. Isiliye usne Ansh se Gudiya ko maarne ko kaha tha aur usne hum par humla bhi kar diya tha... Isiliye, Ansh ko theek karne se pehle hume Gudiya ko theek karna hoga.
Ved: Lekin Nishant ji, Pia ka shareer to gayab hone laga hai... Uska gayab hona kaise rukega?
Ni: Gudiya ka gayab hona rokne ke liye hume sabse pehle use hosh main lana hoga.
Meanwhile Saavi who had been reading the Sarp Shastra after Nishant had put it down called out to him and pointed to the lines written on one of the pages...
Ni (reading it): To ye baat hai...
Ved: Kya hua Nishant ji?
Ni: Is kitaab main likha hai ki Gudiya ka shareer us zeher ki wajah se gayab ho raha hai. Aur jaise jaise Gudiya ka shareer yahan se gayab ho raha hai, waise waise wo kisi dusari jagah par prakat bhi ho raha hai...
Chai: To ye to achhi baat hai na Nishant ji? Yahan se Pia gayab ho rahi hai to dusari jagah par prakat bhi to ho rahi hai?
Ni: Nahi... Yahi to sabse khatarnak baat hai. Jo Pia yahan se gayab ho rahi hai, wo ek Sarpika hone ke saath saath ek Daivik bhi hai, jo hamesha achhai ke raste par chalti hai... Par jo Pia kahin aur prakat ho rahi hai, wo is Pia ka bura swarup hai. Uske andar Daivik ki achhai nahi hai balki sirf aur sirf burai ka zeher bhara hua hai... Uske andar sirf Sarpika ka zeher hi nahi hai balki ye Jamuni Vish bhi bhara hua hai... Uske andar achhai aur sachhai ka namo nishan bhi nahi hai...
Ved: Yani hume kuch bhi karke Pia ko hosh main lana hi hoga? (touching her forehead) Kitna thanda hai... Aisa lag raha hai ki Pia ka sirf shareer hi yahan par hai... Uski aatma uske shareer se kahin chali gayi hai...
Edited by Nikki_srk - 3 years agoI was curious about the 2nd part when i heard the story from u. I must say I’m impressed
Glad u were able to reconstruct part 2
Highlights were Crying competition. Thank u for that dialogue from all of us. Next time agar morality ka bhi dalo toh sone par suhana
So u finally solved how Ansh comes to know about Mo’s truth - Simple yet elegant solution
Am eager for further explanation on evil piya.
You know i like mysteries. I found that evil Piya invention fascinating
Daayan Ashru - cool . By the way Is Ashru an actual word ?
By the way Mo in the serial would never have humbled herself in front of anyone specially not her son. She’s too egoistic for that
But i get that u have frustrations with Mo so okay.
overall i found this story the best out of all you’ve posted. Very very interesting
I was curious about the 2nd part when i heard the story from u. I must say I’m impressed
Thanks...
Glad u were able to reconstruct part 2
Yeah... Thoda time laga but I was able to do it.
Highlights were Crying competition. Thank u for that dialogue from all of us. Next time agar morality ka bhi dalo toh sone par suhana
Thanks...
Well, morality can be included... Let's see if I can include it here or not. Else I can try writing an OS exclusively on EDV...
So u finally solved how Ansh comes to know about Mo’s truth - Simple yet elegant solution
Yes, it was a simple solution... Although, I had elaborated it a bit in my previous draft but then I couldn't remember the entire thing. So, I chose the simple way...
Am eager for further explanation on evil piya.
You know i like mysteries. I found that evil Piya invention fascinating
Same here... Even I found the evil Pia fascinating and that is what mainly put this idea in my head...
Daayan Ashru - cool . By the way Is Ashru an actual word ?
Yes... Ashru means tears.
Remember in a bid to stop Ansh from leaving, Mo took out a tear drop from her eye which Ved reversed on her by using a mirror and it turned her hair red? And then Ansh also used it when Mo tried to stop his marriage with Dillu during the EDV track...
By the way Mo in the serial would never have humbled herself in front of anyone specially not her son. She’s too egoistic for that
I know Mo would never have done that... Actually I had to do something highlight EDV's ego, that's why...
But i get that u have frustrations with Mo so okay.
Mo se koi frustration nahi hai... MoVed ke constant over glorification se hai... In fact, I have said once that if Mo wouldn't have been over glorified this much, she would probably have been my favourite character...
overall i found this story the best out of all you’ve posted. Very very interesting
Thank you...😊
Well, morality can be included... Let's see if I can include it here or not. Else I can try writing an OS exclusively on EDV...
Ya EDV tanna maroing ved was the best in the epi. I really don't understand their obsession with sudharoing. Accept the person as it is no
Yes, it was a simple solution... Although, I had elaborated it a bit in my previous draft but then I couldn't remember the entire thing. So, I chose the simple way...
The simple way was best
Am eager for further explanation on evil piya.
You know i like mysteries. I found that evil Piya invention fascinating
Same here... Even I found the evil Pia fascinating and that is what mainly put this idea in my head...
Can't wait for part 3
Yes... Ashru means tears.
Remember in a bid to stop Ansh from leaving, Mo took out a tear drop from her eye which Ved reversed on her by using a mirror and it turned her hair red? And then Ansh also used it when Mo tried to stop his marriage with Dillu during the EDV track...
Pink Mo - I forgot about that. Did they use the term then ?
By the way Mo in the serial would never have humbled herself in front of anyone specially not her son. She’s too egoistic for that
I know Mo would never have done that... Actually I had to do something highlight EDV's ego, that's why...
Oh that way ! in any case character tweaking is fine. I liked EDV here than champu there.
Mo se koi frustration nahi hai... MoVed ke constant over glorification se hai... In fact, I have said once that if Mo wouldn't have been over glorified this much, she would probably have been my favourite character...
I know u told me earlier , no problem we all like different characters. It was just like with Shekharji i thought Mo change would be unconvincing. I was saying it from a technical POV. But i misunderstood about the frustration part . My bad. Even if u had vented through you characters that's okay. 😉
Ya EDV tanna maroing ved was the best in the epi. I really don't understand their obsession with sudharoing. Accept the person as it is no
Even I don't understand their obsession with sudharoing... Even now, they are expecting Mo to have mended her ways on "falling in love" with Angad...
The simple way was best
Definitely...
Can't wait for part 3
It will take some time... Although I am trying to complete it as soon as possible.
Pink Mo - I forgot about that. Did they use the term then ?
Yes, they had introduced this term when the first time Mo turned pink haired...
Oh that way ! in any case character tweaking is fine. I liked EDV here than champu there.
Yes that way... I didn't want to tweak characters much but it was the simplest way I found to introduce EDV's ego... After all, in the next scene, Ni-Sa used this ego against him...
You liked this EDV? Thanks... 😊
I know u told me earlier , no problem we all like different characters. It was just like with Shekharji i thought Mo change would be unconvincing. I was saying it from a technical POV. But i misunderstood about the frustration part . My bad. Even if u had vented through you characters that's okay. 😉
It happens... No problem.😊
Edited by Nikki_srk - 4 years agoCan't wait for part 3
It will take some time... Although I am trying to complete it as soon as possible.
No worries take ur time. I said that because it's seriously so interesting
Amazing update dear. 👏 Worth the wait.
Thank you... 😊
However, I felt the EDV was being a bit idiotic. I mean - he was too quick to believe NiSa and attack Mo. 🤔 I would prefer EDV to resemble our 2nd version of Ansh from the mirror - cunning and yet sassy.
Well, basically I had to remove Ansh from the equation... I am focusing only on Pia and here Ansh has absolutely no role. To, idiot hi bana diya...
Even I would prefer EDV to be cunning and sassy... But, filhal kisi tarah hatana tha...
Also, I had elaborated this part in my previous draft but while writing the entire thing again, I forgot several parts...
Anyways, what about the other parts of this chapter??
Edited by Nikki_srk - 4 years ago
