Okay, this is the first time I am writing a story. Just a result of my wierd imaginations... So, please bear with me and don't kill me if you don't like it. 
It is a two-part story. Here is the first one...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Part: 1
Silence... Silence was the only thing which prevailed. Just a dead silence. The temple which used to be so alive with throngs of people chanting mantras, singing hymns, sound of ringing bells and conches felt like a house of the dead. Not a single person was seen in it's vicinity. The diyas, aarti ki thalis, prasad etc were lying on the ground with utter disregard. The Prathamayan had wreaked havoc.
As far as the eye could see, they could see only people moving like robots, chanting the Prathamayan's name. Anyone who came in contact of those people was either killed or became just like them. The Prathamayan had completed her promise. She had promised or rather challenged that this Navratri, no one would be taking Devi Maa's name. They would be worshipping her instead. And it happened... The people outside were taking Prathamayan's name and were bowing down in front of her...
Back in Rathod House, the Sharmas and the Rathods along with Guruma and Panditji were busy analysing the situation. Guruma had informed them that the Prathamayan had created a Prathamayan Mantra Kavach over the entire vicinity and anyone who entered it became her bhakt automatically. Thanks to the Mantra Grahan Dravya, they were safe.
A serious discussion was going on. Vedashree had informed them about Prathamayan. She also told them that the Prathamayan had wanted to make her an Ekayan instead of Mohona and that she had refused to choose the path of evil and had chosen Devi Maa's path instead thus enraging her... She was angry that her own daughter had defied her and did not follow her path and chose to follow Devi Maa's path instead.
Ansh: To woh is baat ka badla lene aayi hain?
Ved: Haan. Aur is baat ka badla wo pure sheher ko apna bhakt bana kar le rahi hain. Aur shayad is sheher ke sabhi logon ko apna bhakt banane ke baad wo poori duniya ko apna bhakt banana chahti hain...
Ansh (turning to Nishant): To in logon ko theek karne ka koi to tareeka hoga na?
Ni: Nahi aur agar hai bhi to mujhe is baare main kuch nahi pata. After all, Daayan Rahasya Divya ne Prathamayan ki madad se hi likha tha. Aur usne apni koi bhi kamzori nahi batayi hai aur na hi usne apne Prathamayan Mantra ka koi tod bataya hai...
Pia suddenly got an idea...
Pia: Baba, ek rasta ho sakta hai...
Ni and Ansh (together): Kya?
Pia: Panditji ne bataya tha ki Devi Maa ki pavitra shankh gayab ho chuki hai... Shivji ke mandir see damru gayab ho gaya hai...
Ansh: Tum kehna kya chahti ho Pia?
Pia: Main ye kehna chahti hoon ki ho sakta hai Prathamayan ne ye sab cheezein isliye gayab ki ho kyonki inki dhwani se Prathamayan Mantra ko kata ja sakta hai?
Ni: Haan... Ye ho to sakta hai.
Ansh: Wo sab to theek hai par hum ye shankh dhoondhenge kaise? Pata nahi Prathamayan ne use kahan chipaya hai...
Ni: Hum nahi dhoondh sakte par tum to dhoondh sakte ho.
Ansh (totally confused): Main?? Kaise??
Ni: Daayan Vriksh ke zariye. Tum bhi to Prathamayan ke vanshaj ho... Daayan Vriksh ke zariye tum uska dimag bhi to padh sakte ho...
And Ansh called the Daayan Vriksh and asked it to reveal the whereabouts of that shankh. He came to know that Prathamayan had hidden that shankh in the Daayan Vriksh itself. Using his powers, he tore open the stem and retrieved the shankh.
Sa: Dad, shankh to mil gaya par iski awaz sabhi logon tak kaise pahunchegi?
Ved: Iske zariye...
They brought forth several loudspeakers.
Panditji: Lekin Nishantji, kya is shankh se dhwani utpann hogi?
Ni: Koshish to kar sakte hain na.
Everyone tried but no one was able to blow the conch. Finally, Nishant turned to Pia..
Ni: Gudiya, ab tum hi humari aakhri ummeed ho... Tum hi koshish karo.
She blew the conch but no sound came. She tried again but failed... Finally, she invoked Devi Maa's help...
Pia: JAI HO MAIYA KI!!!
And she blew the conch with all her might.
Everyone waited with bated breath... One second, two seconds, three seconds lapsed... They were losing hope quickly...
Finally, when they had almost given up all hopes, the conch sounded, loud and clear... It's waves spread over the entire area breaking the Prathamayan Mantra Kavach and ultimately freeing the people from it's effect...
They all were happy... Chaitali did a little jig clapping her hands and Pia, Saavi and Vedashree joined in. Everyone thanked Devi Maa for her help and started preparing for Vijaydashami. After all, they had a Herculean task of defeating the Prathamayan in their hands...
Edited by Nikki_srk - 3 years agoNikki i can't believe you wrote this you're really talented. I'm not kidding. This read like a recap of an actual episode. Kudos 👏.
I found your choice of story interesting do post the second part. You have a wonderful imagination.
Before delving into the story i love that you set up the world of that story before starting it . You gave the right amount of descriptions for me imagine the setting when i read that scene. I could actually visualize the temple & the Rathods house where they had their convo complete with bg music . Might i add yours was an easy read.
Love that Ni this time didn't have ready made answers as usual. It was Piya & then Ved who played her part.
That was clever of you to add the conch bit to break Pr's mantra.
Might i also make a suggestion. Since we don't have font options to distinguish the different scenes can you center your para 's for one. It makes it easier for me to read then. Second one was can you highlight the different scenes or when different characters speak for eg making their names in bold or italics & para spacings.
That's all keep writing whenever u can 👍🏼
Edited by Hallyumint - 4 years ago
Nikki i can't believe you wrote this you're really talented. I'm not kidding. This read like a recap of an actual episode. Kudos 👏.
I found your choice of story interesting do post the second part. You have a wonderful imagination.
Before delving into the story i love that you set up the world of that story before starting it . You gave the right amount of descriptions for me imagine the setting when i read that scene. I could actually visualize the temple & the Rathods house where they had their convo complete with bg music . Might i add yours was an easy read.
Love that Ni this time didn't have ready made answers as usual. It was Piya & then Ved who played her part.
That was clever of you to add the conch bit to break Pr's mantra.
Might i also make a suggestion. Since we don't have font options to distinguish the different scenes can you center your para 's for one. It makes it easier for me to read then. Second one was can you highlight the different scenes or when different characters speak for eg making their names in bold or italics & para spacings.
That's all keep writing whenever u can 👍🏼
Thank you so much...😊
Actually, I mainly wrote this because of your encouragement. Else, I would have written in my personal diary and closed this topic forever...
Of course you can make suggestions... I will be more than happy. Any kind of suggestion, big or small are welcome. And actually a big thank you for your suggestions.
And regarding using bold or italic font, well I had used them but don't know why the different fonts did not appear. Will try editing again...
If you have any other suggestions, then kindly share...
Wonderful and a very interesting buildup and story.😊Please do post more. Its better than actual episodes. 👏
Thank you so much... I am glad you liked it...😊
Will try writing more...
Okay, so finally edited it and made the changes which I had planned earlier. I hope it will be a bit easy to read now...
Thank you so much...😊
Actually, I mainly wrote this because of your encouragement. Else, I would have written in my personal diary and closed this topic forever...
Of course you can make suggestions... I will be more than happy. Any kind of suggestion, big or small are welcome. And actually a big thank you for your suggestions.
And regarding using bold or italic font, well I had used them but don't know why the different fonts did not appear. Will try editing again...
If you have any other suggestions, then kindly share...
I'm touched. I'm glad u didn't confine it to your diary. Keep posting whenever u get an inspiration.
I also like the fact that u gave enough descriptions for me to visualize the scenes before i read the dialogues. Like the condition of the temple for example.
No suggestions apart from it looking visually cluttered. Think about the My Thoughts section i posted today. Today i used one color scheme rather than the multicoloured one i usually use but i also used italics for whichever character i was talking about and gave para spacings after finishing with each topic. Made it a little easier for you to look for who i was talking about didn't it ?and quote it. Same way something for me to distinguish the different scenes & who's speaking.
Bold & Italics - Yes that's a minor technical glitch here. If for instance u use bold & italic at once it doesn't catch on. You have edit it twice.
Edited by Hallyumint - 4 years agoI'm touched. I'm glad u didn't confine it to your diary. Keep posting whenever u get an inspiration.
Sure... Especially now that I know that what I am writing is not utter nonsense...😆
I also like the fact that u gave enough descriptions for me to visualize the scenes before i read the dialogues. Like the condition of the temple for example.
Well, that was partly for my sake too... I need to give a description of the scene before I commence with the dialogues.
No suggestions apart from it looking visually cluttered. Think about the My Thoughts section i posted today. Today i used one color scheme rather than the multicoloured one i usually use but i also used italics for whichever character i was talking about and gave para spacings after finishing with each topic. Made it a little easier for you to look for who i was talking about didn't it ?and quote it. Same way something for me to distinguish the different scenes & who's speaking.
Bold & Italics - Yes that's a minor technical glitch here. If for instance u use bold & italic at once it doesn't catch on. You have edit it twice.
Sure... Thank you.😊
Waise bhi, this is the first time I'm writing something. So, there are bound to be various errors...
