MAKING THE FIRST MOVE - a naked soul : JABIR FF - COMPLETED

Posted: 4 years ago

ONE SHOT   -  OS   --    THE WOMEN : kabir's pro. ☺️

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/150712627?tid=5101517

                        _______________________________________________________________


                                          TABLE OF CONTNETS  


1) WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER      -  THE CONCERN FOR THE X-ENEMY    😲☢️


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151160121?tid=5111865


2) THEN I RAN      -     ESCAPING HER     🤣😎


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151160369?tid=5111865


3) I DON'T      -     THE DENIAL OF LOVE    🥺


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151163231?tid=5111865


4) SHE IS IN LOVE   -   NOW LEAVE    ❤️😈🥳


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151163231?tid=5111865


5) TIP TOEING AND A LINGERING QUESTION - UPDATED NOW !


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151168280?tid=5111865


6) ASSAULTED IN LOVE -  (UPDATED RECENTLY - BEST PART)


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151168306?tid=5111865


7) DE - JA - VU    -    THE ROAD TO PHYSICAL ATTRACTION   ☺️😎🤗


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151168309?tid=5111865


8) OH S-H-I-T !!    -     THE PUNCHLINE    -    ( flashback romance )   🐷


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151170522?tid=5111865


9) THE LOGIC !  -  LUSTING OR LOVING !   🤓🤔😳


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151174657?tid=5111865


10) OBSCENE THOUGHTS AND A FLASHBACK   ☺️🤣


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151180278?tid=5111865


11) A SHAMELESS RADIO    😈😎


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151183200?tid=5111865


12) HE IS IN LOVE 


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151199440?tid=5112922


13) WET PUPPY OR A TOWEL WRAPPED KABIR 


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151230403?tid=5112922


14) HE KISSED HER 


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151237615?tid=5112922


15) A MIGHTY SAFETY PIN -  LIVING UP IT'S NAME


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151261696?tid=5112922


16) I NEEDED YOU THE MOST 

https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151287133?tid=5112922


17) WE WILL BE MAKING LOVE THEN 


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151297554?tid=5112922


18) JUST NOT PREGNANT -  OKAY !


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151310734?tid=5112922


19) A SWEET GESTURE AND A JEALOUS KABIR


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151346368?tid=5112922


20) A NAKED CONFESSION AND NAKED SOUL !


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151370252




__________________________________________________________________________________________________


A NAKED MAN'S CONFESSION : uPdated


https://www.indiaforums.com/forum/post/151199440?tid=5112922


__________________________________________________________________________________


FIND ME ON WATTPAD : https://www.wattpad.com/user/tanu156


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 WHAT'S WRONG WITH HER      

-  THE CONCERN FOR THE X-ENEMY


 S :  I don’t have the whole day kabir……

No answer. Thepoor guy has been moving to and fro since last 20 minutes but no luck. Suhasiniji already know the matter. Actually….. she has known the matter long before itstarted.

She wondershow no one else saw it coming. Her age and experience makes it crystal clear foher – THE FIRE ! - between these two souls. They are attracted to each otherlike magnets. Yet both of them are deaf to their own calling, hiding their true intentions beneath reckless excuses on which she never paid attention.

{ I want totake revenge  !

 I want to make her regret her mistakes !

 I’ll teach him a lesson !

I willmarry her to teach her importance of marriage !

I only carefor maa !

I willbound her into this marriage !

I am doingthis out of misery ! }

SERIOUSLY !WHO THEY ARE FOOLING !  well definitely not her.

 

And yet she keep shut because suhashini knew them better. If she even hints them about their obsession with each other. They will laugh it away -  leave the confession in depths of Arabian sea.But enough is enough. She cant see Pooja wasting her life over her childish games. Pk mittal was more sensitive and personal matter so she never interfere-but….

kabir was different. She cant let her gullible child to let go of this opportunity. Kabir is her future. Her only escape from pain and past. She liked kabir ever since he confronted her. That time he was married to bhavya so she wished for someone like him.

Strong

Bold

Just

Kind

Protective

Caring

And the LIST goes on.

But now they are married. The almighty himself compensated for Pooja’s sorrows. Kabir is a gift staight from heavens. for all the good deeds pooja has done for others.

 So she needs to interfere. She already know how far the story has come. But It’s time for the interval.

S : fine ! good day then. Call me when you learn to speak.

She was about to stand up from her seat when he turned on his heels in full swing motion and ……


K : what’s wrong with her amma ! 

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

hey everyone ! got to know the show i going off air just when it really started ! :( anyways. i cant stop myself from writting . i love these two characters. and the story have so much potential. i am a hopeless romatic fan so here is my take.

i do not claim to be good at writting but i have  wrote a few. i would like to have feedback if anyones interested. thank you so so much reading. just a simple like is appreciated and an comment is welcomed with open arms. criticism is mandatory for improvement so please suggest if you want read something specific i might write a short piece. not promising.


special thanks to SANJANA  who have been my knight on this forum for writting beautiful work on JABIR ! thank you so much . sorry i dont know how to tag you but ill be posting on THE STALKER THE LINK. 

i love your work sanjaana i checked your profile earlier work also. i am inspired from you. you are the forth person here to motivate me to write . i wasnt able to tell the first three. so i make it sure that you know this, ..... THIS IS FOR YOU ! i am not as good as you but ill try my best . 

thank you so much please review.

Edited by Tanu221 - 4 years ago
Posted: 4 years ago

Hiii dear!!! Firstly a big big hug to you!🤗

I'm so honored that I was able to inspire you to write something on JaBir!!! There is no bigger compliment for me than being someone's driving force or inspiration so thank you so much!!! Don't know how to thank you for this!

And your story is so intriguing!!! I would love to know more! One thing I will always be disappointed with in this show is that we barely got a chance to explore JaBir's amazing chemistry since there was barely any love story!!! I think you will be fulfilling this dream of mine through your story though!😳

Best wishes baby and please continue soon!!! Looking forward to reading more!!! <3 

Edited by -Sanjana- - 4 years ago
Posted: 4 years ago

It’s nice, continue please 

Posted: 4 years ago

So true, they are kind of obsessed with eachother.

Loving them too, thank you for writing this.

Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by foxi


So true, they are kind of obsessed with eachother.

Loving them too, thank you for writing this.

oh god ! i am glad you liked it ....ill be updating 2 more part soon ..... next one will be in few minutes. please do read that too...

Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by Pveenat


It’s nice, continue please 

in few minutes dear  :D

Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by -Sanjana-


Hiii dear!!! Firstly a big big hug to you!🤗

I'm so honored that I was able to inspire you to write something on JaBir!!! There is no bigger compliment for me than being someone's driving force or inspiration so thank you so much!!! Don't know how to thank you for this!

And your story is so intriguing!!! I would love to know more! One thing I will always be disappointed with in this show is that we barely got a chance to explore JaBir's amazing chemistry since there was barely any love story!!! I think you will be fulfilling this dream of mine through your story though!😳

Best wishes baby and please continue soon!!! Looking forward to reading more!!! <3 

oh thank you so much ! thanks a milllion dear. i read all your work. i am glad i caught your attention thank for reading and please do read the next parts. i ll definately post one little romatic update ..... i also feel their should be more on their chemistry but ill try ..... thank you for your comment.

ill be posting next update in few minutes

Posted: 4 years ago

THEN I RAN !     -     ESCAPING HER


Kabir’sworried voice pained suhasini’s heart. She knows where this is coming from andwhere it’s heading. God damn ! she know one day they both will have beautifulchildren together but for the time being she has to play their way – their game.

 S : sorry kabir ! I don’t know the cryptography yet ! please ! Be more specific.

Kabir simply looked at her, ignoring the sarcasm he continued in the same manner.

K :something is very very very wrong !! is she in trouble ?

Kabir sit on his knees placing his hands into amma’s , he looked at her with all sincereity and continued …….

 K :  she is acting so strange. THE WOMAN HASN’TRAISED HER VOICE SINCE LAST 30 HOURS ! ........sorry  ! didn’t mean to shout. But she is acting so weird…… I even tried to insult her 3 times in a row and she didn’t even give me  an angry glare . NOT EVEN A GLARE ! and she has this persistant look in her eyes as if…..as if...... her eyes are trying to tell me something that I can’t couldn't. 

 suhasini understands him. she realised what he's talking about. she has seen it with her eyes. the pooja's eye. but she has to maintain act.

S : again kabir ! who ? what ? when ? how?

 Kabir looked up at her as if he hasn’t heard a word and ignoring her question he simply said–

  K: she was folding my clothes ! MyyyyyyY CLOTHES !  ....and ....then she …….

 Kabir looked around to see if anyone’s around to laugh at his upcoming statement.

K : then …….Sheeee…………she bought me juice. Can you believe that ?

 Kabir’s eyes were twice the original size and he looked terrible as if he had just seen ghost.

 S : kabir ! who ? look in order to communicate one must know the topic! right?

 This time kabir shook his head irritatingly.

 K:  Please ammmmaaa ! who else would I be talking about. Whom I always talk about and about whom I will talk to – ( kabir point a finger at her ) – YOU ! YOUR PRECIOUS LITTLE DAUGHTER and who else !

 (he sings the last sentence in a lullaby manner)

 S : rani !! so what ! she brought juice. it's not impossible. She is still not over you kabir ! you know it.

 Suhasini played along. She knows how to give tit for tat.

 Kabir stared at her disbelievingly for 1 full minute before starting again.

 K: rani ! hmmm...........why would I talk about rani !

kabir paused looking frustrated...

k:  had I even ever said her name two times in a sentence before. And who cares If she is still not over me. Who is she anyway !

 suhasini was impressed by kabir's concentration on pooja. well said shakespeare "LOVE IS IN THE AIR" she chuckled mentally. but remain calm outside.

S: then who?

She asked innocently.

Kabir literally jumped on his feet and shouted over his lungs

K : POOJAAAA  ! who else.

He stated it as if it’s a universal truth.

K: And amma this is serious. In any other circumstances I would have thought she is planning something . or simply trying to kill me with silent treatment. 

he stopped as if realising the value of his own words but continued after composing himself again

k:  but I know she isn’t planning anything. No matter what others think. I know it. I just know it . you know …..i ….. i…  I can feel it. It's like something has changed within in her. It’s very personal, so I can’t point a finger at it. But she has changed. 

 Suhasini wondered if Pooja had any idea that kabir can feel her change.  He can actually feel her. Its been just one day and came running to her like a mad dog.

 And he is taking her advice as if she is her closest family member.

 Actually to be honest kabir has always been this gentleman. She always felt a connection to him. If Pooja is her daughter then she would love to have a son like him. Kabir is only rude when absolutely necessary otherwise he is always very expressive in menifestation of his groomed manners. Obviously not with Pooja for the very obvious reasons.

She knows why Pooja has changed but this is a matter of husband and wife and she is noone to interfere.

 S : kabir ! let me get this straight. So Pooja offered you a glass of juice and you decided to ran to me in your night suit with no sleepers on !!

She pointed to his naked feet but he didn’t budge. He seemed pensive.

K : no !  I was so shocked that I actually drank it and wait for full 10 minutes before running to you.

 He explained.

 Suhasini felt like banging her head on the wall. She gave him an angry glare.

 K : I was alive ! so I ran to you. You see ! there was no poison in it. - he explained it to her.

 S : KABEEEEEEEE….R !

 Now that’s enough.Her poor child was repenting and working to make everything right and not to mention she has no one to share her true feelings. girls of her age have crushes and spend hours with friends contemplating the possibilities but not pooja. and he is accusing her like this. But kabir continued without heeding any attention to her inner turmoil.

 K : and then she told me ..

  And kabir mimicks Pooja in a hilariously failed women voice …..

 K : “ kabir you should take care of yourself. Now take some rest or you’ll feel weak “

 Now suhasini’s irritation was visible.

 S : thenwhat happened ? – she asked uninterested

 K: I ran ! 

________________________________________________________________________________________________

hey everybody ! sorry for updating so early i cant wait to hear what you feel about it. hep me explore more . dont worry i ll also give one pooja kabir scene soon


Edited by Tanu221 - 4 years ago
Posted: 4 years ago

 

                        I DON’T …………… - THE DENIAL OF LOVE

 

k : I ran!

he shookhis head assuring himself that it was the only viable option left.

 

Suhasinistand up with tired expression and walk up to the kitchen to make coffee forboth of them. Her instincts tell her that kabir’s storytelling will consumemore time than needed. She felt kabir following her.

 

 K : see I didn’t plan to come here initially.At that moment I just ………. I simply took the car keys and started driving but……then a thought came to me and I decided to come to you.

He went mumfor few more seconds. Suhasini turned the gas on and decided not to speakunless absolutely necessary.

 

K : justtell me one thing. What have I ever done to be suffered in this way. Why thiswoman wont let me rest in peace. She is roaming in my roon playing the goodwife and here - I am hell worried for her.

Kabirlooked exasperated.

K: Amma !does she have some mental illness record. Is it possible that the marriage hassent her into some kind of trauma and she has gone insane.

Kabir wasnow staring at amma who was busy with her task unaffected by his worries.

K : look Iknow I am in no position to care for her and its hard for you to believe but Iam genuinely concerned for her ! your daughter is in trouble. And I want tohelp !  please tell me that she’s notgoing insane.

 

“Enough”  suhasini almost shouted.

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Kabirdoesn’t understand. He finished his coffee and took amma’s cup as well walkedupto the sink and come back to find amma staring at him. She looked irked.

K: what !

Heshuddered his shoulders. And sit down. After few minutes of silence.

K: see! Iam here telling you that your fav person is in deep trouble and you are staringat me like I’ve grown two heads. What is happening. Or is it that you don’twant to share it with me !

 

Suhasinismiled mentally mused – and this guy thinks he is capable of kidnapping an illold woman. Like any one would believe him. Pooja saw what he did and it changedher. She realized that she’s been accusing a saint of treachery. She feltguilty for slapping kabir and she just wanted to apologize. Obviously inindirect way. Anyways !

 

S : Yes ! Idon’t want to tell you ! because it’s none of your business. If she needs helpshe will ask for it. And I am here so you mind your own business, go home andlet me get some sleep. Its freaking 2:00 in the morning !!

 

Kabir wastaken aback by suhasini’s curt attitude. He stand up and took two steps back.But then his expression changed and he straighten up. He took a deep breathextracting courage along with the oxygen to continue.

 

K : I amsorry ! i shoudn’t be disturbing you at such an hour! I apologize for theinconvenience.

 

Suhasinisimply nodded in affirmation accepting his apology. But kabir continued withmore firmness.

K :  And I am sorry if I offended you in anyway orfor not being explicit in expressing my sincerest concern for her. But I assureyou that I mean nothing but well being of her. I know if anything happen to heryou would be the first person to know about it. So I request you to tell. Maybe I can help and I promise I will get her through it. So please ! please tellme what’s the matter.

 

Suhasiniscanned kabir’s form. Every inch of him is spewing his good faith. She turnedaway from him. She wanted to laugh at the situation.

 

This is theproblem of this generation. Their lack of real communication. They can declaretheir love out in public and on social media but refuses to even voice outtheir genuine concerns before loved ones.

Just likekabir is hereby  indirectly confessinghis feelings to a person he knows nothing of but name. and chooses to run awayfrom Pooja when she was simply being nice to him. Damn ! it’s just adrink.  Love does make you illogical.Anyways he was really worried and she will do what’s necessary for herchildren.

 

S : Thatwas a nice speech kabir ! and I genuinely appreciate you offering help but youhave  to understand that it’s not mysecret to tell.

K : but Ihave a right to know. Just tell me what you know and I’ll figure out the rest.

S : like Isaid it’s not my problem to share.

K : amma …….why are you doing this. She is …..

Kabirpleaded. Amma nodded to let him continue. He started looking around beforestating strongly.

K: SHE IS………..POOJA IS MY WIFE AND ANYTHING RELATED TO HER ……..I HAVE A RIGHT TO KNOWIT.

 

Ammaremained nonchalant. She didn’t wanted to take away his courage. After so muchtime he was able to state the most truth of his life. He was her husband.

 

S: well !in that case, why don’t you ask her yourself.

K: yeahsure ! – he joked.

S : why not! have you asked her.?

 Kabir simply turned his face sideways refusingto answer.

 

S :ofcourse not !

 

K : shewon’t tell me.

 

S: you lookso sure ! – she mocked him

 

K: amma !please. She is not my best friends to share her problems with me. Does she evenhave any friend. ? ……………….Damn! We don’t even like each other. Why would shetell me.

 

S : if youdislike her so much why do you care ?

 

K : I don’t! 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________

part 2 


                                SHE'S IS IN LOVE  -  NOW LEAVE !


K : I don’t.

 

A pin drop silence followed.

 

K : I meant……….I don’t dislike her. I just ….. I …. Her….

He searched for a word but no luck.

 

K: I…..acutally….what I mean is…. Well… it’s complicated. Let’s say we are not on good terms.

 

Suhasini let out a soft chuckle. Kabir winced at that.

 

S : kabir !dear son , your complicated relationship status is not a problem of mine. So you should take your concerns to the person they are meant for and leave me alone so I can sleep.

K: fine !if that’s what you want. You tell me the problem and I’ll leave immediately,  but not before that !

He threatened

 

Suhasini breathed heavily to play her masterstroke.

S : kabir ! have you ever thought how she felt when you came here ……running away from her.?

 

Kabir looked confused not getting the point.

 

S: may be she was worried for you just like you are for her ! but I am sure that she is definatately worried now -  she must be pacing around in her room waiting for you – wondering – just like you are -  WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU !

S: Or leave all this. May be she came to you to share her problem but you simple ran away.What about that.

 

kabir raised his eyebrow  at that. "worried for me - yeah right ! " he thought. he tried to understand what amma is indicating. 

Kabir relaxed a bit with her words. Finally !- suhasini thought- her words infused some sense into him.

 He looked a little weak. His protective armor falling off. He got hold of chair nearby for support.

He seemed to be pondering over the possibilities suhasini has just presented before him.

After what felt like an eternity .

 

K : I am not leaving –unless- you tell me the exact problem.

 

What the…..! suhasini thought. So this is the problem.

THE Ego

THE Stubbornness

THE Attitude

Both are same. None of them want to make a move. Suddenly an idea crosses her mind.

 

S: okay !if you insist this much then I guess I’ll just tell you. BUT …… after that -you will leave and go straight to home, no more question.

 

Kabeer smiled for the first time in last 4 hours.

K : deal.

 

Suhasini took him by hand and guide him to the front door. She let him outside the threshold, facing him. Kabir looked at her expectantly.

 

S : she is…..actually…. – she trailed off.

 

Suhasini think again for a moment. Is it the right time. This has to happen someday. So  she faced him more determined.

 

S: POOJA IS IN LOVE. KABIR ! …..

 

Silence.

Tik

Tik

Tik

They both simply stared at each other. Suhasini tried to read him but he looked numbed.

 

S : NOW LEAVE !

 

AND WITH THAT SHE CLOSED THE DOOR ON HIS FACE.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________

hello again ! i realised that it's not much interesting. but i am going to try another with pooja and kabir. wish me luck let me know what you think about this one.

love to all.

thanks for commenting ...... ill try watpadd .......i never used it before. but i'll try. thank you again.

Edited by Tanu221 - 4 years ago


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