Hello everyone,
It's Hinal and I'm back with another OS! While I am enjoying the way RoNakshi's relationship is shaping out to be, I do feel that there needed to be at least one scene - if not more - where Rohit realizes the mistakes he made and tries to make amends.
I wrote this OS as my own little attempt to justify how their relationship could progress past that phase. I hope you guys enjoy it! Do let me know of your thoughts and comments :)
Of Realizations and Apologies
"You said it today, but please never say that in front of me - ever!" I told Ajeet, speaking in a controlled manner in an effort to contain my emotions. And before my voice could even being to betray my resolve, I left for my room.
Raima... It had been 4 years since I last said her name aloud, yet the name rang in my head every time I let my guard down. I tried to keep myself busy - with patients, with the hospital, with family, with the soccer intramurals - but when I was alone, thoughts of her crept in my mind inevitably.
It was odd though; never did I think I would have such a conversation with Sonakshi, let alone actually telling her about Raima.
I think it was because I just knew she would understand. The pain, the grief in her eyes... it was unmistakable.
How did I not see it before? It was hardly a couple of days ago that I thought she was the one behind Pooja's dress incident. But now, I felt guilty for even thinking that. It all happened so fast, and I knew I acted on an impulse. But it was wrong. I was wrong.
To think I was a surgeon - calm and composed is how my staff would describe me, - but this made me realize that I was a better surgeon than I was a person.
When I told Netra ji that she would come to the hospital because I knew her, I wasn't lying. However with the whole fashion show fiasco, I somehow couldn't rationalize with myself. I was blinded by rage and refused to believe anything else except Pooja's words. I felt terrible as I thought back to all that I had said to Sonakshi.
Yet... despite all that, she had offered her help to catch the real culprit - without any hesitation at all. How did she do that? She really was a devi.
I smiled at my thought, and then waved it off the next second as well.
I grabbed my wallet and asked Ravi to drive me to her place. This sudden realization had rendered me incapable; these thoughts kept circling my head and so I decided to go to her home and apologize.
But on second thought, I figured if I met her mother there, I'd probably make things worse. And so, I sent her a text asking her to meet me at the Starbucks near her apartment. Thankfully she agreed, and so I headed towards Goregaon.
--
She came into the Starbucks with a pair of oversized sunglasses and a scarf wrapped around her head. I almost laughed, "You do realize this just draws more attention to you right?"
"But at least I'm partially covering my face! You don't understand, if anyone recognizes me, we won't have any privacy."
"Oh so we are going to be spending some private time together?"
The words slipped out before I could realize what I had said. I turned to her, almost jumping to save myself when she rolled her eyes in response, "You know what I mean."
What was that Rohit? I mentally slapped myself before placing our order.
"A tall latte for the lady and a tall black earl grey for myself," I told the barista. I was about to lead Sonakshi to one of the tables when she suggested going back to her car. "I can feel people getting suspicious - the phones are coming out!" she whispered. I was about to scoff but it seemed as if she was right; "Let's head to the park then. I go there all the time and it's usually empty, so we should be fine!"
And so we picked up the order, and headed out to the park. We decided to sit on a bench for a bit and began talking - obviously most of it centered around Parvati, but I wanted to talk about Sonakshi.
"Sonakshi!" I suddenly interrupted her, "Sorry to interrupt you, but I actually had to say something to you!"
"Yea what is it?" her brows furrowed in concern. "Is everything alright? Is Pooja alright?"
I had to hush her, "Yea yea, we're all fine. It's not about that. I actually..." I was at a loss of words... I took another sip to dry my parched throat and attempted to do exactly that which I came to do. "I'm so sorry about all the disgusting things I said to you the other day at the fashion show. I was impulsive, rash and insulting. I made so many derogatory comments about you, and your family. It's not excusable at all, in fact---" but she cut me off.
"It's okay Rohit. Honestly, I would have probably done the same thing if this happened to Pari instead of Pooja!"
"No!" I exclaimed, "I know you wouldn't have done that. You don't have to pretend as if what I did was alright. There is a line that I shouldn't have crossed, but I did and I'm so sorry! To question your morals and ethics was not right of me, and I don't even know how I thought you could be responsible for such a thing. I should have listened to you... I should have listened to my heart," though I said the last bit to myself more than anyone else.
"I'm truly sorry for my words. I hope you know that those words were merely uttered in a state of chaos, and it wasn't until later that I realized the weight of my words."
I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding... She was pretty quiet after listening to all this.
"You know Rohit, at home, my mom and even Pari. They always use me as a scapegoat - the person to blame when anything goes wrong. I guess that's why it didn't matter what you said when you did, because I was so used to it. I always have been. But thank you," she finally turned to look at me, "Thank you for apologizing. I appreciate that."
"You don't to thank me for anything Sonakshi. I made a grave mistake, for which I was merely apologizing. You shouldn't give anyone the right to treat you that way! Not me, nor your family," I was fiddling with my cup, knowing very well that I was about to wander into unchartered territory.
"The dynamics in my house are just a little... skewed, for lack of a better word," she let out a little laugh.
"Families are tough, but that doesn't mean you let them walk all over you right? You're too compassionate, even to those who may not deserve it - including myself in the past week." I wanted to say more to her, but I took her silence as a cue to stop myself. "Anyway, I've also come to apologize to your mother and Pari, but I wanted to make sure we were okay before I did that."
She looked at me with a smile and nodded, "We're okay!"
"Thanks," I said with a small smile as we headed off to her home for the next big, and perhaps volatile, task.
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