***She's mine yet she's not. She belongs to me yet she doesn’t. She loves me yet I wish she hadn't.
Set the shot during the AnuKomo track when Prerna came to live in Basu House.***
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."Tumi sundor tai cheye thaki,
Seki mor oporadh?
Chadere heriya kade chokorini,
Kohe na toh kichu chad.’
Leaning against the pillar with his right shoulder of the huge Basu House’s corridor Anurag sang the lines as Prerna was passing him. Prerna stopped as she realized the lines sang by him was actually directed towards her. She turned around and walked few steps to stand in front of his not so official husband.
‘’Tumne mujhse kuch kaha?’’ She asked.
Crossing his arms across his midriff Anurag stood still. He looked at her, bored.
‘’Kuch kaha tumne?’’ He acted as if he didn’t listen to her.
‘’Maine pucha tum mujhse kuch keh rahe the?’’ Prerna aksed again, irritated.
‘’Main?’’ Anuraga acted surprised, pointing his both hand on his chest as if he was being accused of a grave mistake.
‘’Haan tum!’’
‘’Nahi, main toh gaa raha tha.’’ Anurag shrugged.
‘’Tum or ga rahein the!’’
‘’Haan. Sunogi?’’ Anurag cleared his throat and started to sing without waiting for her approval, ‘’tumi sundor tai..’’
‘’Bas bas.. mujhe nahi sunna tumhara gana..’’
Anurag stopped, smirking.
‘’Tum ye batao, tum mujhe dekh ke ku gaa rahein the?’’ Prerna demanded. ‘’Or ye konsa gana hain!’’
‘’Arey! Tumne ye nahi suna kabhi? Nazrul ka likha hua hain.. Or main tumhe dekh ke ku gaunga! Or agar gaa bhi raha hunga toh kya fark parta hain! Hot oh tum meri wife hi na… ‘’ Anurag flirted to irk her.
Prerna chose not to argue with him right then so she walked away giving him a tough glance. Anurag lost himself in her once again. As she walked away Anurag kept staring at her back. During the past few weeks he had lost himself to her multiple times and every time it was a different feeling all together. He was surprised with the amount of different types of feelings a man could harbour inside him.
His smile turned upside down as he realized how far she was from him though practically they were living in same house. The thoughts which kept occurring on his mind every time he saw her begged to be expressed and every time he had to keep them restrained.
The first time he saw her in simple red saree.
Every time he saw the cotton thread around her neck.
Every time she smiled.
Every single tear drops which ran down her cheeks.
The nights she spend standing under the moon.
Every freaking single time she roam around the house trying to establish herself a part of the family.
He wanted to tell her all the feelings. Or he could just let her acknowledge that he noticed every single movements of her, so closely, so dearly. Or, he could just stare into her yes and let her read herself. But, he couldn’t do any of them.
Where did the things go wrong with them? He knew hundreds of people who were successful in their love. Why not them? Why she had to walk into the house demanding her rights? Why not he was the one to bring her as a bride. Why fighting with the emotions, why trying to hide them? Why couldn’t he just let her know how much he loved her?
He regretted it now. He regretted it very badly that why he took so much time to understand his feelings for her or rather say why he was on denial for so long. He could have bought them some more time.
Anurag sighed. He cursed his selfish self. No matter how badly he wanted Prerna out of the house for her own good sake he on the other hand didn’t mind seeing her around. He missed her smiles but her tough glances also worked fine for him and so that her harsh words. It’s his selfish desire to keep her in that house although she received nothing but humiliation from his family members.
Anurag followed her to kitchen. She was busy in cooking and chopping and he kept looking at her. He missed being close to her, both physically and mentally. He wished at least his thoughts were close enough with her but all she did was hate. She hated him so much. Yes, there’s love somewhere, still. But amidst of these hate ness her love felt distant.
He wish he could sneak his hands around her waists from behind when she’s busy with her works. He would stand close to her, taking her smell, breathing softly on her neck making her shivered. He wish he could. It wasn’t lust what he felt for her. It was never lust. For him, being close always meant a way to convey the feelings he had for her, to convey them without words. It was love. It was love for him always.
Anurag looked away from his beautiful wife and leaned against the wall beside the door. He placed his head against the wall and took a deep breath. Once in a while he felt like this. He felt like running to her, leaving all the bonds behind. But he feared the consequences. He wanted her to forget him but at the same time he felt vacant thinking he wouldn’t rule her heart any more. It was impossible though, for her to forget him. He knew. And as for him? He wouldn’t even try to forget her. That would be useless and a waste of time.
He felt sad when he thought of her leaving the house. He didn’t know how he would cope up. He’s so used up with her lingering around him that he didn’t know how to spend a day without seeing her. But she had to go. She had to leave this house. Even if it costed her love for him. Living with hatred was rather easy then seeing her hurt.
‘’Payar hain mujhe tumse prerna. Or ye payar hamesha rahega. Chahey tum isey meri bewafai samjho ya phir meri berukhi par tumhe yaha se jana hoga. Jis ghar pe main tumhe pure man samman se bahu banake lana chahta tha usi ghar mein tumse ye bartav kiya jai ye main nahi dekh sakta. Mujhe nahi pata ki tum mujhse payar kartey rahogi ki nahi, mujhe nahi pata tum mujhe apni yado mei jagah dogi ki nahi par meri yadein jo tumse hain wo hamesha payar banke mere sine mein zinda rahega. Mujhe hamesha tumhari yaad dilaiga. Zindagi ke is mor par toh ham nahi mil sakey… intezar karunag aglei mor ka, jaha hamari mulakat phirse hogi. Sath honge ya nahi wo toh bad mein dekh ajaiga par mulakat toh jarur hogi.’’ Anurag closed his eyes thinking, ‘’I love you prerna. I love you a lot. And I hope you know this. Kyuki main tumse keh nahi sakta.’’
‘’Tum yaha kya kar rahein ho?’’
Anurag opened his eyes with a jerk and found Prerna looking at him with a questioning gaze.
‘’Main! Wo main pani pine aya tha..’’
Prerna kept looking at him with a suspicious gaze. Anurag avoided her eyes and walked on the opposite direction of kitchen.
‘’Pani toh pike jao.’’
Anurag realized his mistake and composed himself. He turned to meet her gaze.
‘’Wo, tumhe dekh ke piyas bhi chala gaya,’’ He said romantically, moving close to her.
‘’Dur hato.’’ She warned him.
‘’Pati hu main tumhara.’’
‘’Maine kaha dur hato mujhse.’’
Anurag rolled his eyes and took his step back. He was about to turn when Prerna called him.
‘’Ek minute ruko..’’’
‘’Ab kya hain?’’
She showed her phone to him.
‘’Ye gaa rahe the tum?’’
Anurag read the lyrics from her phone and smiled.
‘’Smart.. ab iska matlab bhi google kar lo..’’
‘’Kia maine..’’
‘’So, you liked them?’’
‘’Yesab ganey jake apne biwi ke samne gana.. samjhe? Ainda yesab mujh pe use mat karna.. Komolika pe use karoge toh sayad thora bhaw bhi de de tumhe..’’
‘’Wo mujhe..’’
But Prerna walked away.
‘’Chali gain! Ab ise kon kahe apne biwi ko hi toh suna raha tha..’’ He smiled.
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Note: Phew! Done with the first kzk one shot. I am a head canon lover. I love to write to fill in the gaps. But as we all know how descriptive the hindi serials are! There’s very less room for imagination. They already stretch the scenes so much. I am not an avid kzk2 watcher. Sometimes I am busy and most of the time I do not have access to my television. But from the day I have watched that shopping mall changing room scene I wanted to write this one shot. It turned out a bit emotional at the end which was unplanned. Anyways, I may popped in with some other head canon one shot from the show.
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