Hanita OS - Fikar Hai Ke Nayi

Fikar Hai Ke Nayi

Twirling her white dupatta in her hands, Babita paced the terrace floor. Her erratic heart and restless mind paid no heed to the fact that it was nearing one o’clock in the morning. Her eyes were on a constant look out for the one man who would provide her solace in the humid summer night.

Seeing yet no sign of him, Babita punched in Hanuman’s number and waited for him to pick up. She huffed upon hearing the female voice operator. She had never been more irritated upon hearing a voice as she was that night.

Babita looked towards her room. There was no point in waking Minnie up. Apart from the fact that she was in a deep sleep, there wasn’t anything that she could do that Babita wasn’t already doing. With a deep sigh, Babita sat down. She had called both Hanuman and Lalit multiple times in the past five to six hours but to no avail. As a last resort, she had even called up the station to find out about their whereabouts but even they didn’t know their exact location. All that they knew was that Hanuman had taken Lalit and a team out on a drug raid. That was around one o’clock in the afternoon. Upon hearing that, Babita’s stress levels rose through the roof and her eyes had been glued to the main entrance ever since.

With every passing second, her heart both sank to her stomach and rose up to sit in her throat. Her fingers curled against the side of her seat as horrible thoughts attacked her. What if something had happened to him? It was a drug bust after all. There’s no way that the people involved would go with the police willingly. They surely would have put up a resistance and fired back.

Babita stood up, agitating her dupatta even further. They would have weapons – knives,guns, who knows what else. What if they used something against Hanuman? It’snot like him to stand back while he sends in his comrades into battle. No, he would have been leading the squad and assessing all the dangers for himself.Her heart quickened as she thought of all the different scenarios that he might have overlooked. Blind spots, an inaccurate reading of the perimeter or the number of people and weapons involved. Or maybe he went off on his own to capture a criminal or two and he underestimated the dangers they will pose and they…

Babita shut her ears and eyes in an attempt to vanquish the terrifying thoughts. Her heart beat at a rapid pace. She glanced around, breathing heavily, to find something that she anchor herself to. She glanced at the potter’s wheel and her heart calmed a bit. Her mind was soothed by the memory of the spinning wheel,and the squishing of the wet clay between her fingers. At first the creative activity had been rare and exciting. A tool used to bond with her daughter and pass on traditions. Then it became a mechanism in which she was able to tread into a new territory. A space that she was unaware of and wasn’t entirely sure how to operate in. Now, it functions as a way of providing peace. A nice way to unwind after all the hectic running around during the day.

She took a small step towards the wheel but then thought against it. Even if she managed to get everything set up, she wouldn’t have the patience or attention needed to make the pots as beautifully as they should be. Instead, she turned around and proceeded to go downstairs. She ventured carefully in the dark.Sliding her hand against the rough brick wall for support, she took each step with the utmost care. For the first time, she noticed how loud her anklets rang in the silence. It’s no wonder Hanuman would stir awake from his deep slumber. Babita felt a pang of guilt for all the times she disturbed his rest with all her troubles.

Once reaching the halfway point, she sat down and stared at the empty cot. It looked horribly wrong. Her eyes burned with the formation of tears. Hanuman should have been sleeping there by now. Whether it was after a playful banter or a heated argument, it didn’t matter. Regardless of the situation, him sleeping downstairs in his cot was a fixed point in her life.

It was then that Babita remembered the few times Hanuman had to be away because of work. Even though he had been gone for two days at most, they were always informed beforehand. They would make their required preparations and Babita would tire herself out to the point that her body would automatically knockout.

Upon further reflection, Babita found that even in his absence she felt closer to him. The first time Hanuman was gone, his dinner crisis provided her with a new platform in which she can connect with her customers and fans. It elevated her professional life and gave her something new to look forward to every day. Prior to this, she had never imagined people all around the world would eagerly await for her tips and videos on new dishes. It was a completely new phase in her life and she was thankful for having the opportunity to experience it.

She glanced at the main door and was disappointed that it was still closed. She couldn’t even hear the sounds of any motorized vehicle to indicate someone’s arrival.

As a gentle breeze tickled her cheek, she was reminded of the last time he left.If she had to use a word to describe his departure, it was confusion. At least on her part. It wasn’t a singular emotion that she was feeling. Rather, it was as if someone had poured all the emotions into a huge vat and had started to mix them together and whatever the end result was, that’s what Babita was feeling.

Matters had lulled since that night as they both had gotten busy with their respective jobs. Babita’s clientele continued to grow for which she was extremely grateful. Having her family and friends be a part of the work force was a bonus as well as she didn’t have to feel guilty for not being able to spend quality time with them. The only downside was that she couldn’t meet Hanuman or Lalit as she used to. She considered herself lucky if she could snatch even five minutes in the morning with them.

She had once asked Lalit if Hanuman was still upset with her but he had flatly refused. Rather, it was some cases that had been brought before Hanuman that were occupying his attention. Although she had accepted the answer, she wasn’t entirely too happy with it. She understood the nature and importance of his profession in an intimate manner. If Hanuman was able to help out anyone like he helped them, then she’s in full support of it. However, there was a minute part of her that wondered where she and Minnie stood in his life. It will be naïve to believe that he would ever put them above his duty but were they just as important to him?

Babita thought back to his immense concern when Minnie was hospitalized or when she was pacing and he had brought her mosquito repellent to chase away her worries.A slight smile graced her lips. Whether it’s a whole dosa stand or two whole sacks of her favorite mangoes, Hanuman had the habit of going to the extremes when it came to displaying his affections. Her cheeks reddened as her fingers tingled, remembering the way his hands felt around hers. Warm, and sturdy, she had felt so delicate in his touch. The way he had applied slight pressures on her fingertips, guiding her to give shape to the clay pots, or the way he had caressed her cheek - Babita jolted at the thought.

She glanced around to make sure no one had seen her. She felt silly for doing so.After all who would be up at two o’clock in the morning to see how she would react when she thinks about Hanuman? She took a deep breath to still her fast beating heart.

Grabbing her phone, she called again but to no avail. Her irritation grew with each passing second. She had half a mind to join Minnie and get some sleep but the other half of her revolted against the idea. She wasn’t going to get any rest without seeing Hanuman first, so what was the point of even trying?

Hugging her knees, she rested her chin upon her arms. Her heavy eyelids soon overwhelmed her. The last coherent thought that ran through her mind was a small prayer for Hanuman’s well-being.

__________________________________

Hearing whispered voices, Babita awoke with a jolt. She blinked a few times to rid the sleep from her eyes. Her heart beat fast as the clanging of a utensil resonated through the veranda. She wondered if another thief had broken in. Becoming alert,she scanned through the darkness for any signs of a human body and a weapon with which she could defend herself.

“Arre dhyan se Lala. Ke kar ra hai.” Hanuman scolded.

“Sorry sir saab. Andhere mein kuch dikhaye ni diya.” Lalit answered.

Hearing Hanuman’s voice, Babita became overjoyed. By the time she had descended the stairs, the lights had been turned on. A rush of emotions washed over her. Her joy and exhilaration that had briefly overpowered her anger and longing, was now replaced with a shocking numbness. Her bottom lip quivered as she took in his state. There was a small, white gauze bandaged on the right side of his head, and she could see the hint of a similar dressing wrapped around his chest. His usually pristine uniform was now splattered with blood and had a hole on the left side. His trousers were specked with dry mud, gravel and sand.Her heart fell as she realized her negative musings were turned to reality.

“Babita pehenji, aap ab tak jag rahi hai.” Lalit spoke, breaking the tension in the air.

“Haan,woh, bohot dher hogayi thi aur aap aaye ni. Minnie aur meine bohot phone bhikiye aur kissi ne uthaya nayi. Minnie toh sau gayi par…” She trailed off, unable to carry on.

“Woh sorry ji.” Hanuman said, averting his eyes. “Duty pe the. Utha ni paye.”

After a few tries, Babita managed to ask, “A-aap ki yeh halat?”

“Aap iski fikar mat ki jiye.” Hanuman chuckled. Opening the buttons on his sleeve, he rolled them up towards his elbow. Babita noticed the red scratches on his arms but didn’t say anything. “Duty mein toh yeh sab chalta rehta hai.”

“Aise kaise hota rehta hai. Itne mahine hogaye humhe yaha rehte hue. Aap pehle toh kabhi aise nayi aaye.” Babita argued.

“Aaj se pehle kabhi goli bhi ni lagi na.” Lalit interjected.

Babita froze. Hanuman turned around to glare at his subordinate who hung his head low.

“G-goli?” Pale, Babita turned to Hanuman for answers.

As her eyes ran across his body for any signs of serious injuries, he tried to alleviate her worries. “Bas choo kar nikli hai. Aap itna pareshaan maat ho. Aur vaise bhi humne woh pehna hua tha na, bullet vest. Woh hai hi hamari hifazat karne ke liye aur usne apna kaam bohot badiya kia.”

“Aap ko goli lagi thi aur aap ne humhe batana zaroori ni samja?” Babita asked, tears spilling from her eyes. “Teekh hai aap toh zakmi the, par aap Lala bhai saab?” She turned towards Lalit. “Aap toh kam se kam phone kar sakte the na?”

Seeing Lalit fumble for his words, Hanuman intervened. “Aap isko maat dhatiye. Phone karne se humne hi mana kiya tha.” Babita took a step back. “Phone karne se tension ke sivaye aur kuch na milta aap ko. Aur vaise bhi hospital mein toh pehle se hi police aur media walo ne dhoom machayi hui thi. Inn sab mein aap aati toh ghabra jaati.”

“Jo bhi hota, jaise bhi hota woh meri problem hoti, aap ki nayi.” Babita argued. “Yaha ghar par mein kam tensed thi? At least waha mujhe pata toh hota ki aap kis haal mein hai aur kahan hai. Par nayi. Aap ko kahan hamari fikar hone lagi.”

“Babita pehenji aap aise kyun keh ri hai. Sir saab ke paas aur koi chaara bhi ni tha. Hospital mein sirf family members ko entrance di jaari thi, aur kissi ko nayi.”

“Toh hum family nayi hai kya?” Babita blurted, surprising the two men. Realizing what she said, she corrected herself, “Mera matlab, Naeem Bi ko toh yeh apni moonh boli Maa kehte hai. Woh toh jaa hi sakti thi.”

“Na.” Hanuman clicked his tongue. “Sirf blood relatives, pati ya patni ko permission thi. Iski hai na woh, Geeta Kumari. Itni saalo se iski mangetar hai par usse bhi ni andhar aane diya.”

“Haan.” Lalit nodded in agreement.

Babita was still not happy. Her heart kept twisting itself in knots as her mind conjured up various dangerous scenarios that could have led to Hanuman’s injuries.

“Pehenji, tussi inni tension na lo. Ab toh sab teekh hai.” Lalit laughed lightly.

Babita looked at Hanuman but he refused to meet her gaze. Keeping his head low, he walked towards his cupboard and began rummaging through it.

“Lala bhai saab, aap yahi sau jayi. Mein chadar aur takhiya le aati hoon.” Babita said in a small voice.

With a heavy heart, Babita headed upstairs. Each step away from Hanuman made her feel like she was miles away from him. As she went over his words, for the first time she wondered if she had imagined the increasing closeness between them. She can understand Hanuman didn’t want her to waste her time at the hospital, but he could have at least called her.

Pulling out a blanket and pillow, she gently closed the cupboard. While heading back downstairs, her heart tugged. If not her, Hanuman could have at least called Minnie or Naeem Bi. Surely he was closer to them than he was to her. Feeling a bit faint, she stopped at the mid-way point of the stairs.

“Kiraayedarniji,” Hanuman’s soft voice made her open her eyes.

Babita was taken aback by how close he was to her. With his hands resting atop the blanket and pillow, he peered into her eyes.

“Aap teekh hai?” He asked softly.

Babita was slightly surprised he had the audacity to ask her that, considering what he put her through. If the hours’ worth of mental torture hadn’t been enough, she was starting to develop a throbbing headache creep up on her ever since he had returned.

“Mein teekh hoon. Aap ko kya?” She answered irritably.

She attempted to side pass him but he blocked her. “Abhi tak naraz hai?”

“Nahi toh. Mein kaun hoti hoon naraz hone wali? Mein toh sirf aap ki kiraayedarni hoon aur kiraayedaro ko thodi na apne makaan malik ki fikar hoti.” Her face grew hot as her anger rose.

Hanuman tried to object but Babita moved past him, heading over to the diwan where Lalit will be sleeping for the night. She heard Hanuman’s footsteps follow closely behind her but she made no attempt to interact with him. She had enough of his ways for the night.

Babita walked around the table, and headed towards the small kitchen where she filled a jug with cool water.

“Aap meri baat toh suniye.” Hanuman spoke softly, standing a few feet behind her.

“Itni dher se sun thi hi aa ri hoon. Ab aur kya rahe gaya kehne ke liye?” Forcefully turning off the faucet, she grabbed a steel glass and went back to the table.

“Sorry kehna chahta tha. Maari galti thi. Humein na pata tha aap hamari itni zyaada fikar karenge.”

Though there may have been sincerity behind Hanuman’s words, Babita still felt highly offended. When she turned to face him, she should have said something to him.Something that would have dispelled his belief that she doesn’t care. Something that would have proved just how important he had become in their short time together. Anything would have been better than nothing and yet, nothing came out of her mouth.

With a tired mind, Babita walked past Hanuman and proceeded to go upstairs. She felt the disappointment radiating off of him but she echoed the same sentiments. If he could distance them within a moment’s notice then so can she.

While going upstairs, she leaned against the brick wall to support herself. The faint dizzying spell she had felt a few minutes before, was beginning to make her sway. There was a ruffle of clothes behind her, signaling Hanuman had quickly walked to stand by the floor of the stairs. She took a quick peek over her shoulder and saw him staring at her with eager, yet patient eyes. A slight blush colored her cheeks. With heavy steps, she carefully climbed the stairs and made herself take a seat at the table.

A quick glance at the clock informed her it was nearing three o’clock in the morning. Resting her head on the cool table, she closed her eyes. She considered herself lucky that she was able to make it up the stairs in one piece. The way her exhaustion had overwhelmed her so suddenly, she was sure she would have had a nasty fall.

Shaking her head, Babita swatted the image away. In the last twelve hours or so, her mind had conjured up far too many negative thoughts than she would have liked.Taking a deep sigh, she pushed herself out of the chair and walked into her room. She chuckled seeing Minnie’s sleeping form. An instant peace washed over her as she got into bed beside her daughter.

Babita decided to get as much sleep as she could before she had to wake up for another hectic day. As for Hanuman, she would let Minnie take care of him.