Hanuman Singh was not able to sleep last night. Now, as early as nine in the morning he kept rubbing his eyes as he saw his Veer Baalika running around the house.
“Ke ho Gaya Chhori? Kyon subah subah toofan mel bani ghoomar Kar rahi hai? Pag mein pahiye lag Gaye ke!” He chuckled when she cutely blabbered how she was getting late for college and rushed out.
“Chai pee leejiye aap.” Babita offered him a teacup while checking some work related messages on the phone.
“Mhaare ko naa peeni aapke haath ki chai!” Hanuman was obviously annoyed.
“Main pooch nahi rahi hoon, aapse keh rahi hoon. Aapka gala kharaab hai, adrak aur Kali mirch daalkar chai banaai hai pee lijiye, raahat milegi.” Babita spoke politely.
“Raahat, chaiin, sukoon, neend sab toh cheen liya aapne ab mhaari parwaah Karne ki jarurat naa hai … dekh Raha Hoon kabse phone pe pata nahi kisko takatak takatak karke message Kar Rahe ho. Aap unhi se baatein Karo …”
“Kaam ki baat hai …” Babita tried to stop him but he had more to say.
“Haan haan … kaam ki baat karo, pyaar ki baat karo, dosti ki baat karo, Shaadi ki baat karo saari baat ussi namune se jaake Karo bass abhi mhaare se abhi koi baat na karo. Subah subah sarr phat jaaega mhara.” The volume in Hanuman's voice was increasing and Babita had a very strong urge to give a befitting reply right in his face but she had had enough this morning.
“Aaphi ka Ghar hai … chillana hai chillaye, yaha tandav karna hai kijiye, aag lagani hai lagaaiye subah subah mujhse mat ladiye.” Saying which she held his hand to give the cup and stomped upstairs.
“Kiraayedaarni ji subah subah aapne mhaari good morning ka satyanash Kiya uska ke?” Hanuman spoke to himself.
He looked across the room and spotted those little pretty looking culprits. A bunch of fresh red roses which had come to his haveli specially for 'his' Kiraayedaarni ji. They were the reason Mini was late for college and they were the very reason he felt like a burning furnace . Those innocent buds and flowers had committed a crime. He wanted to put them in jail. Actually, the man who got them had committed a crime. He visualized how he wanted to punch the man right into the nose who had got 'his' daughter ki mother such beautiful flowers. It is all because of one simple thing – There is this man named Ruhaan Khanna who had knocked the doors of his Haveli along with the early morning birds and expressed his deepest desire to marry Babita. Hanuman could feel his heart coming to his mouth and his eyes widening like saucers. He is angry, He wants to be angry and he will be angry. Nobody comes to his Haveli to talk to 'his' woman in such a way. Not that Babita was happy about such a proposal. Hanuman saw her sending away Ruhaan politely.
“But what if she considers him? What if she likes him? What if she is interested?” Hanuman's brain questioned him.
“NO!” His heart yelled.
He kept staring at the flowers as he gulped down his tea and then got up to throw the flowers in the dustbin. Thorns pricked his fingers as he tightly clutched the stems. “Lo ji Kiraayedaarni ji aapke chakkar mein dimaag sunn ho gaya hai, kaalja mooh ko aa gaya hai ab khoon bhi nikal aayaa … Kare to Kare Kya Hanuman Singh? Shahid ho jaaye aapke liye?”
The whole day was a hectic and dreadful mess for Hanuman. Today he had worked too much but there was more work to be done. He wanted to take a sigh of relief when he rung the doorbell but little did he know that Mini's friends and his little family were enjoying a small get together to discuss an important matter very seriously – Babita’s marriage. It was so evident. All he could see were happy faces with giggles and cheers on how they will plan Babita's wedding. Everyone was there – Dadu, Beeji, Naeem bi, Mini, Mickey, Preet and Bobby.
“Ruhaan ji ko pehle hi mana Kar chuki thi main par phir bhi mooh uthaake ghar tak aa gaye. Nahi karni mujhe Shaadi!” Babita almost yelled.
“Par beta woh ladka bura nahi hai. Beeji tried to explain.
“Beeji ladka chaahe jo koi bhi ho … mujhe abhi Shaadi karni hi nahi hai.” Babita said irritated.
“Arre achha hua Hanuman tu aa Gaya, pata hai kitni zaruri baat ho rahi hai. Babita ki Shaadi karwaani hai … pata hai ladka khara sona hai Sona.” Trust his god, his adopted mother’s excitement was not making him feel good.
“Main naa jaanta Naeem Bi! Ladka sona ho, chaandi ho, heera ho, moti ho yaa kaanch ho … Daughter ki mother ko nahi karni shaadi toh nahi karni bass! No means No!” Babita looked into his eyes and Hanuman knew that she wanted to cry right now. He was not liking it. He could not see her like that. Both of them were troubled.
They were troubled because they did not know the reality of this gathering. It was Queen Victoria's plan to seek victory in her intention. Hanuman Uncle and babes had to talk to each other. They had to confess. She is not going to give up. Apologizing to her Matarani for the nth number of time she gestured her Dadu to begin with the execution of their plan.
“Theek hai beta … usse nahi toh kisi aur ko pasand Kar le.” Said Dadu.
“Haan Babita shaadi Karne ke baare mein soch … hum tujhe khush dekhna chahte hai.” Beeji supported her husband.
“Bass Karo aap log.” Babita wanted them to stop but her efforts went in vain.
“Mere pass ek idea hai … jaise humne Patiala Babes ka Facebook page banaya thha waise hi babes ka profile banaate hai matrimonial site pe!” Mickey announced enthusiastically. If looks could kill, Makhhan Singh just had a ritualistic funeral in Hanuman's head.
“Haan yeah achha idea hai … main laptop lekar aati hu.” Mini acted so cutely. Hanuman's brains had gone bonkers. What is his Veer Baalika thinking? She knows he loves her babes! Doesn’t she? Then why is she bringing her laptop? What is she trying to do?
Hanuman closed his eyes in order to think clearly when Naeem Bi offered a glass of water to him. He looked at her with utter disbelief. “Kuch bola toh jaa nahi raha hai tujhse allahmaare Kam se Kam shaant ho jaa. Paani pee aur dil dimaag thanda karle.”
“Maine hazaar baar keh Diya … aakhri baar keh rahi hoon mujhe Shaadi nahi karni. Aapka yeh sara tamasha khatam ho jaaye toh khana khaane upar aa jana.” She flew upstairs like an angry bird.
Thank God. He began to pray. Now these people have to stop. Mini looked at her Hanuman Uncle. She knew that expression. She just had to push the last wrong button and he will react for sure.
“Par bataao toh sahi hum profile mein likhenge Kya?” Asked Mini. She wasn’t going to stop! Was she?
“Haan Mini likhna … Babes kitni Sundar hai, independent hai, caring hai, sweet hai …” Bobby was counting Babita's qualities.
“ Baawle ho gaye hai sab ke sab.” Hanuman mumbled under his breath and prepared himself to speak all the truth. He knew that there are going to be drastic consequences if he opens his mouth but he didn’t care. All this drama had to stop. He looked at Mini to speak whatever he wanted to and that is when he noticed her winking at Preet. Preet giggled and gestured a thumbs up to her and that is when Hanuman understood that all of this is nothing but a practiced and staged act.
“Bhains ki pooch” He murmured again. He was not planning to speak anything now but nobody literally nobody should even think of making a profile of 'his' Kiraayedaarni ji on any matrimonial site. He has to do something. The glass of water in his hand caught his focus and he smiled a mischievous smile. He thought “Mujhe pata hai tu bohot hoshiyaar hai veer baalika lekin main bhi Thaanedaar Hanuman Singh Hoon.”
“Eee sab ke naatak laga rakha hai Chhori?” Hanuman walked towards her and started looking into the laptop screen.
“Ab toh boldo Hanuman Uncle.” Mini murmured excitedly but then she realized that her adorable uncle has spilled the whole glass of water on the keyboard of the laptop and the screen shut. Hanuman had to make a lot of effort to pretend that it was an innocent mistake but he felt like a winner.
“Yeh Kya kiya yaar aapne?” Mini wanted him to speak but was happy to see that he did something.
“Kharaab kar diya laptop aapne … Bobby ne Jo bhi bola woh kaise likhu ab main?” He knew Veer Baalika was acting but she did it pretty well.
“Dekh Queen Victoria, most beautiful girl thara laptop main kara launga theek aur manne pata hai thaari mummy dhaai ki chef hai, ekdum heroine jaisi dikhti hai aur bolti hai chashni jaise meetha lekin yeh sab kahi likhne ki jarurat naa hai … dekh poora din kaam karke dimaag ghoom Gaya hai mhara. Tum log eee sab chonchle band Karo aur jaake kaam ka kaam karo. Thaane le jaake FIR kardunga nahi toh … band Kar dunga hawaalat mein!”
Mini started laughing and everyone else smiled at Hanuman while they did a happy dance in their heads.
Babita became worried after waiting for Hanuman at the dinner table for almost half an hour. “Mini ne kaha toh thha busy hai woh lekin aisa Kya kaam ke inhe bhook bhi nahi lag rahi?” She took his plate and went downstairs just to see him sitting against the wall in a dimly lit corner of the Haveli. She went to sit beside him.
“Sara din beet gaya, aap thak Gaye honge naa?” Babita worried a little more.
“Hmmm” He said without looking at her.
“Thaane se bhi aane mein late ho gaya … bohot kaam hoga na aaj?” She tried to initiate a conversation.
“Hmmm” Still not looking at her.
“Aapko bhook lagi hogi naa aap khana khaa lijiye.”
He looked at the plate. “Padwal banaaye aapne”
“Haan.”
“Mujhe bohot pasand hai padwal ki sabji. Bataya thaa naa Maine aapko.”
“Achha … yaad nahi hai mujhe.” She pretended to forget, the truth remaining that she made his favorite vegetable because they fought in the morning.
“Bechaini si ho rahi hai abhi … Mann na Kar Raha khaane ka.” Hanuman said to her. Babita felt irritated.
“Apka jab Mann karta hai mujhse ladne lagte hai, jo mooh mein aaye woh baat bolte hai, kitna rukha vyavhaar karte hai … koi farq nahi padta na aapko ki main aapka intezaar Kar Kar ke parwaah Kar Kar ke pareshaan hoti rehti hu … koi farq nahi padta … nahi Khana aapko … mat khaaiye … mujhe bhi nahi khana.” Babita looked away from him, wiped a tear and tried to get up when he clutched her arm tightly. She looked into his eyes when he blinked in disbelief. She did not have her food because he had not eaten. She resisted his hold but he just held her tighter. She looked away.
“Ek kadam pass aati Hoon toh aisa kuch keh dete hai jisse Mera Dil dukhta hai … Ek kadam door jaati Hoon toh aap aise thaam lete hai …”
“Aaj galti se bol Diya hai isiliye maaf Kar dunga lekin phir kabhi mat kehna ke mujhe aapki parwaah nahi hai … apne aap se zyada, duniya jahaan se zyada parwaah hai mujhe aapki … jab aap muskuraatein ho aisa lagta hai mhaare Dil ki ichha poori ho rahi hai, jab aapki aankhon mein aansu hotel hai tab jaan mhaari jaati hai. Jab aapko koi takleef hoti hai tab sochta Hoon aasmaan ko zameen par Lau ya paani mein aag lagaau … aisa Kya karu ke sab theek ho jaaye aur jab aap Jeet te hona … tab aisa lagta hai main bhi Jeet Gaya. Aapki baaton se, Aapke ehsaas se, Aapke faislon se … aapse Judi har baat se mujhse bohot farq padta hai.”
Babita was astonished. Did he just say everything he said. 'He genuinely meant it' her heart whispered. “Abhi kaise pyaar se baat kar rahe hai Kuch bhi nahi pata aapko … Main subah see kitni pareshaan Hoon sirf aapki baaton ki wajah se.” She began to cry and Hanuman smiled. “Aur pareshaan mat kijiye mujhe, main naaraaz Hoon aapse.” Hanuman took a bite of Roti and Sabzi to make her eat but she just turned her face away. “Khaane se kaisi narazgi”. He made her eat as she wiped her tears.
“Ek baat poochu … Bilkul sach sach jawaab Dena.” Hanuman asked and Babita paid attention to him. He knew he had to talk to her or else people like Ruhaan will keep coming up to her with all kinds of proposals.
“Dekho ji main Hoon aadmi jatt yamla pagla deewana. Bohot kalesh kaatunga, bohot saari galtiyaan bhi karunga aur kabhi kabhi gusse mein naa bolne waali baatein bol jaunga lekin agar kabhi koi Romeo ka rishtedaar aayaa uss Ruhaan jaisa … toh aap mujhe chhodke chale jaaoge?”
“Nahi … Kabhi nahi … aap aisa soch bhi kaise sakte hai … Bilkul nahi.” Babita wanted him to believe her. She did not know what else to say.
“Kabhi kabhi yeh sochke bohot darr lagta hai ki agar aap mhaari Zindagi se chale Gaye toh? Jaise aaj subah laga thha … mujhe pata nahi kab, kaha kaise aur kyon lekin bohot jaruri ho gaye ho aap mhaare liye. Main naa reh paaunga … main bohot pyaar karta Hoon aapse. Main aapko khona nahi chahta … kisi bhi keemat par nahi.”
She took his hand in hers and interweaved their fingers. “Babita aapko chhodke kahi nahi jaaegi … kabhi nahi jaaegi. Wada …. Pakka wada.”
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Edited by paridhi2345 - 4 years ago
