I think society makes a big deal out of blood ties, which makes it difficult to sever them even when we know in our hearts and minds that the toxic ones need to be amputated. Babita will always be connected to Ashok as a co-parent, albeit a biological one. She has parented Minnie alone but she knows that her daughter's DNA cannot be changed. Just changing surnames is not enough. The perception of bonds runs far too deep. She will hopefully learn to fully let go over time, but somewhere at the back of her mind she is still affected by his decisions, as well as those of her in-laws. She may say it's because of Minnie, which is true, but some of it is her own lingering feelings towards that family.
We have seen some great contrasts in relationships over the past few months during various tracks.
- Hanuman Singh is a tough cop with a very clear sense of right and wrong. He has no experience with parenting but he is more a father to Minnie than Ashok could or would ever be. I would go so far as to say he is her real father. Without explicitly thinking about it, he is actually co-parenting Minnie, teaching her life skills, giving her good values, and supporting her like a father is supposed to do. He cries when she is hurting and would do anything for her smile. At the same time, he makes sure that he doesn't do so at the expense of spoiling her or compromising on his principles. She's picking up all of this consciously and subconsciously too.
- Lala is not an influential or rich person, but in his own way he shows Babita a lot of respect and has always had faith in her as a sister, whereas Pinku ditched Babita when she needed him most, and insulted her the day she was going to court, forget about providing her moral support.
- Naeem Bi's children live overseas. They don't care about her except for their selfish reasons, but she has taken Babita and Minnie under her wing as a mother figure and was even willing to put her house up as collateral in order to help them with financing. On the other hand, Beeji and Dadaji did not really do much to help Babita and Minnie and continue to emotionally blackmail them even today. If they were really fair, they would have kicked Ashok out and asked Minnie and Babita to live with them even after the divorce, especially since the house belongs to Dadaji. The parents had a great opportunity to fix things but they didn't. Their son, just like them, is an expert at emotional blackmail and manipulation, so he found his way back to the house.
Ashok's parents, despite realizing the mistakes they made by bringing him up to feel entitled as a man, still don't mend their ways. Dadaji accepted Meeta in the hope that she could help change Ashok, their insecurity about finances in their old age, etc. notwithstanding. Those with stronger principles would have either disowned Ashok or straightened him out their own way once they learned of his EMA, at the expense of living out the rest of their days without their son. I know it's easier said than done, but I guess that's what the show is portraying - we'd like Ashok's parents to take responsibility and really understand that they are accountable for the bad upbringing. It's not just about being fair with Babita, it's also about raising children with the right values.
What really irked me was when Dadaji asked Minnie not to tell her mother about witnessing Ashok mistreating Meeta. That is an example of conditioning girls/women indirectly to keep quiet about abuse, and Minnie should not be given such "values". If Babita had heard about it, she would have seen the warning signs. I really hope she does something about protecting Minnie from learning the wrong things from her grandparents.
After seeing the new promo, where Babita witnesses firsthand Ashok's brutality towards Meeta, the interesting thing would be Meeta's decision and reaction to Babita's warnings and threats to Ashok. Will she agree to report Ashok to the police for domestic abuse or will she stay quiet, especially now that she can't go back to her parents, is pregnant with his child, and is also struggling financially?
Sometimes we make the mistake of thinking that only conservative/traditional, uneducated, or timid women fail to report and stand up against the abuse they face, but the fact is that many 'modern', educated women also struggle with this, especially where children (born or unborn) are involved. I've seen this happen in the west too. The patriarchal social structure and the roots of this mentality are still too strong. Meeta saw all the warning signs and Ashok's behavior during the divorce proceedings should have been alarming enough, but love can really be blind.
I always say that a person's behavior and habits may change over time, but not their character. This applies mainly to adults, of course, and drastic changes in one's nature usually happens only in reel life or through miracles. This is another good lesson for viewers, that no matter how much you think you love your partner/spouse, do not ignore such warning signs and do not dream that you will become the messiah in their life who will "change them for the better".
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