Re: Babita/Ashok

I am not sure how we are expected to view the doomed Marriage if Ashok/Babita.

Now that we have been watching for about 6 Months now, how can some still blame Mita for the breakup of a failed Marriage, if the 2 people in the Marriage did nothing to save it for themselves.

We had Ashok who goes off to London to earn money leaving behind a pregnant Wife and what we are told did not return for the birth but came 5 years later and than when his Business failed in the UK. Not once did he request her to join him before or after Mini's birth. No interest in the Marriage at all.

Babita spend all her time in becoming the ideal Bhua at the expense of her Marriage. Made no effort to go to London to join him before or after Mini's Birth. Even  after seeing how her Daughter was suffering for her Father's Love, she still made no effort to join him in London. Was happy playing the ideal Bhua and happily in love with her Husband and her Marriage in spite of making no effort to make it work or stay together as Husband and wife.

Her inlaws should have sent her to London instead of using her as a Servant to cook and look after them and selfish Lovely and husband.

Ashok left her after Marriage and if Mini is 17 years., what was he doing for 7 years in London. Did he have another Girlfriend than. Its for the last 10 years that he has been with Mita and lied to her for the first 3 years. and told her that his Marriage was dead and waiting for Divorce.

They never had a Husband/Wife relationship or Mini/Ashok a father and Daughter relationships. All were Strangers to each other. A classic when Ashok came back with a Doll, not even knowing how old his Daughter was.

So what I don't get us why people are blaming Mita for Babitas Marriage when it was already dead long before Mita came on the scene.

Why over the top drama from Babita for doomed, failed loveless Marriage.

Mini over the top Dramas and so called love for a non existent Father when there was no Happy family or love in it.

Time to stop blaming Mita and look at how long the Marriage was and when Mita came on the scene.

A dead and doomed Marriage with only 2 people who could not be bothered to make it work are the only ones to be blamed for it.

If i may ask how old are you please? 

My pov

I am about 39 brought up in a fairly Conservative family. First woman to have a post grad degree and first one to work. 

Bab got married at 18. She was very simple shy and thats is y she was selected. When her husband goes off to london. She has not yet built a bond where she can force him to take her along. Women in these situations don't really voice out how they feel. She looked after his parents and sister and hoped that he would understand her sacrifice and value her.

 Her in laws could have sent but they wanted the grandchild and free maid. She cannot tell her inlaws also

She was just a undergrad when she got married and did a postal ba

These type of stories are common in my generation where husbands come once a year prob spend a month and go. 

Not every one has support when they decide to walk out. 

Just how i feel and  what i have heard from friends and cousins in such relationships 

There was once a documentary long back which showed cases like babita's is rampant in punjab, where men married for dowry or to take care of their parents while the men went abroad to never come back or where alreary married overseas or having affairs. Poor women did not have any kind of support and still many women are penniless and left in lurch, some with kids and court cases are still pending. Atleast in the show the woman got guts to move out of this toxic relationship and got HS when abandoned by all. I cant even imagine the plight of these woman in reality where they have no support. Babita comes from a background where women are taught to fullfill all the wishes of inlaws whether its right or wrong, along with that early marriage and babitas soft nature never really helped her. She also became pregnant within a month of her marriage. Her coy, trusting nature and societal norms and pressure never made her realize that she was merely being used by the khuranas. 

Originally posted by: guddi01

I am not sure how we are expected to view the doomed Marriage if Ashok/Babita.

Now that we have been watching for about 6 Months now, how can some still blame Mita for the breakup of a failed Marriage, if the 2 people in the Marriage did nothing to save it for themselves.

We had Ashok who goes off to London to earn money leaving behind a pregnant Wife and what we are told did not return for the birth but came 5 years later and than when his Business failed in the UK. Not once did he request her to join him before or after Mini's birth. No interest in the Marriage at all.

Babita spend all her time in becoming the ideal Bhua at the expense of her Marriage. Made no effort to go to London to join him before or after Mini's Birth. Even  after seeing how her Daughter was suffering for her Father's Love, she still made no effort to join him in London. Was happy playing the ideal Bhua and happily in love with her Husband and her Marriage in spite of making no effort to make it work or stay together as Husband and wife.

Her inlaws should have sent her to London instead of using her as a Servant to cook and look after them and selfish Lovely and husband.

Ashok left her after Marriage and if Mini is 17 years., what was he doing for 7 years in London. Did he have another Girlfriend than. Its for the last 10 years that he has been with Mita and lied to her for the first 3 years. and told her that his Marriage was dead and waiting for Divorce.

They never had a Husband/Wife relationship or Mini/Ashok a father and Daughter relationships. All were Strangers to each other. A classic when Ashok came back with a Doll, not even knowing how old his Daughter was.

So what I don't get us why people are blaming Mita for Babitas Marriage when it was already dead long before Mita came on the scene.

Why over the top drama from Babita for doomed, failed loveless Marriage.

Mini over the top Dramas and so called love for a non existent Father when there was no Happy family or love in it.

Time to stop blaming Mita and look at how long the Marriage was and when Mita came on the scene.

A dead and doomed Marriage with only 2 people who could not be bothered to make it work are the only ones to be blamed for it.

It is easy to blame babita, but as a traditionally brought up woman who got married even before finishing her studies, what value was she brought up on, with her mum telling her, she should follow whatever her Husband says or your in laws says. Was she brought up with confidence, to stand up for herself when things don’t work out? Was she allowed to come back home if her marriage failed? Was she given assurances from her family or her in laws she can break free if the marriage failed? What she knew and taught was following the instructions from her Husband or her in laws. If  she was to walk out from her Husband or in laws without knowing her Husband’s affair, will the society or her family accept her ?,even with her husband’ s affair known did she get any support? Let me tell you from my experience as a modern woman and a fully accepting society to walk out from a traditionally arranged marriage takes a lot of guts and the courage to face gossip. As for Ashok he is a gutless guy who had no courage to face the truth until the another woman had to put her foot down. For Meeta , going after a married guy after knowing it is totally unacceptable,if she had told him straight up to him to divorce then to continue the relationship I would have respected her. Since she continued her relationship without a divorce is her sin. A guy will give a hundred and one reasons to continue an affair but it is the moral value of the third woman to decide whether to continue the relationship. That’s my humble opinion, sorry if I offended you by saying this.

I am a indian divorced Mum of 2 Girls. I too had a typical arranged Marriage with the same Social pressure as than. Was in a violent Relationship and loveless Marriage and took guts to walk out when they were tiny and looked after them and worked. Put them through University as well. Both of them want nothing to do with the Father at all. He never made any effort to see or pay for the Girls up bringing.

So to blame on Society or what is expected is rubbish. Her In laws were fairly liberal as they had the Son in law living with them. My Mother said get out of this useless Marriage. So at the end of its up to the person to make it work or stay put but dont blame what is expected from them in Society.

Its so easy to blame the other Women but if the Marriage is doomed from the beginning no point in blaming others.

I must say you’re courageous but everyone is not courageous. They think twice to do the walk out in marriage. But Babita’s marriage is a deceitful. She is very naive and soft spoken person. For this kind of character they think millionth times to do anything drastic. When she realized it was too late. Even though in one episode she said she saw the signs of unfaithfulness but she chose to ignore. Again that character we can see every now and then in our surroundings. It’s so real . I cannot blame Babita. 

This is my POV.

I hope you don’t feel offended. 

Originally posted by: guddi01

I am not sure how we are expected to view the doomed Marriage if Ashok/Babita.

Now that we have been watching for about 6 Months now, how can some still blame Mita for the breakup of a failed Marriage, if the 2 people in the Marriage did nothing to save it for themselves.

We had Ashok who goes off to London to earn money leaving behind a pregnant Wife and what we are told did not return for the birth but came 5 years later and than when his Business failed in the UK. Not once did he request her to join him before or after Mini's birth. No interest in the Marriage at all.

Babita spend all her time in becoming the ideal Bhua at the expense of her Marriage. Made no effort to go to London to join him before or after Mini's Birth. Even  after seeing how her Daughter was suffering for her Father's Love, she still made no effort to join him in London. Was happy playing the ideal Bhua and happily in love with her Husband and her Marriage in spite of making no effort to make it work or stay together as Husband and wife.

Her inlaws should have sent her to London instead of using her as a Servant to cook and look after them and selfish Lovely and husband.

Ashok left her after Marriage and if Mini is 17 years., what was he doing for 7 years in London. Did he have another Girlfriend than. Its for the last 10 years that he has been with Mita and lied to her for the first 3 years. and told her that his Marriage was dead and waiting for Divorce.

They never had a Husband/Wife relationship or Mini/Ashok a father and Daughter relationships. All were Strangers to each other. A classic when Ashok came back with a Doll, not even knowing how old his Daughter was.

So what I don't get us why people are blaming Mita for Babitas Marriage when it was already dead long before Mita came on the scene.

Why over the top drama from Babita for doomed, failed loveless Marriage.

Mini over the top Dramas and so called love for a non existent Father when there was no Happy family or love in it.

Time to stop blaming Mita and look at how long the Marriage was and when Mita came on the scene.

A dead and doomed Marriage with only 2 people who could not be bothered to make it work are the only ones to be blamed for it.

It is easy to blame babita for allowing her marriage to go dead but let me point a few facts according to the show, a woman who had a traditionally arranged marriage at a tender age when she had not even completed her studies. What kind of family was she ,from a conservative and tradition family background. What was she taught by her mum , to accept whatever is served to her. Was she brought up with confidence or with assurance from her family that she has full support from her family if or when anything happens in her marriage she has their help. What was she taught she was brought up with a thinking that her husband and in laws are her everything. Even with her marriage being dead , did her family or her laws tried to help her to restore her marriage. Even with Ashok ‘s affair being known did she get any support from her family ,in laws or society. Let me tell you by my experience, being a very modern woman and female supporting society and country, it takes guts and the strength to withstand gossip mongers in breaking free from traditionally arranged marriage. As for Ashok he is gutless guy who had to stand up when the another woman put her foot down. As for Meeta knowingly having an affair with married man is in all sense wrong for that I will not or cannot forgive or accept her. If she has told Ashok to finalised his divorce then they can continue with the relationship I would have respected her. A guy will give a hundred and one reasons to continue an affair but it is the moral value of the third woman to decide whether to continue the relationship or not. That’s my opinion,I am sorry if I unintentionally offended you. 

Sorry for double posting my server got hanged

No offence taken at all.

Its each view point as well, hence the Forum. But to constantly blame Society is not acceptable at all, sometimes we have to take a stand for ourselves as well.

She had all the signs and Daughter who was longing for Father, but She choose to ignore it along with the Khuranas, who on the whole are not bad if you compare them to the typical Saas and Bhua serials. So if She wanted to go to London than it was up to her.

So my opinion stands on the miserable state of the Marriage and Mini, who seriously needs to stsy away from the Khuranas. 

 She can go to London but will her in laws support her? I don’t think so. Even though they are caring towards Babita as per show. But they never encourage her to go to her husband. They think their son is doing hard work in foreign land. He’s sending money to take care for her and Mini as well. What’s the need for Babita to go to London. Ashok never asked her either. If Babita wants to go to London she have to fight with her in laws to go to London. So far knowing Babita ‘s character she scared of confrontation. So there is no way she can say anything or do anything. Even though she’s the one who’s suffering. 

For Mita’s Character she’s typical privileged women who thinks only about herself. Even after she knows about Ashok ‘s marriage and having a kid . She did nothing and stays with Ashok for 10 years. Now they’re showing her so compassionate and caring but that doesn’t give her any extra brownie point. Makers trying to show that not all other women are evil. They have follies but not evil. 

This is my POV.