As the sun set, the horizon looked magnificent. That’s the only word Prerna would use to describe it. Shades of purple, pink and orange all mixed together cast a beautiful glow on Anurag’s face. He had been laying down with his head on her lap for the past 10 minutes, close to falling asleep now. Right after he explained some elaborate plan to expose Komolika. Of course, Prerna didn’t agree to it, at least not initially. Anurag wanted to apparently suffocate Komolika with his love so much that she would be the one to break all ties with him. Prerna couldn’t help but laugh at his foolishness. She knew that plan wouldn’t work. Komolika thrived on any attention from Anurag and now he wanted to drown her in it? She wouldn’t be put off by it, instead she’d use it against Anurag and Prerna somehow. Prerna suggested that it might be a better idea if Anurag just keeps Komolika occupied while she tried to get to the root of what was happening. Why would Moloy kaka write a letter suggesting Komolika and Anurag be married? It made no sense. Prerna knew that Moloy Kaka and Anurag were of entirely different breeds than the rest of the Basus. So him wanting Komolika to be his daughter-in-law was a bit out of character for him.
“You don’t think Komolika will suspect us?” Prerna mumbled as her fingers combed through Anurag’s hair.
“Not after the shit I pulled two weeks ago,” Anurag replied, with a bit of regret in his voice. “I’m sorry again. I don’t know why I thought it was okay for me to insult you like that, you know I didn’t mean any of it right?”
His voice was just slightly groggy, even though he hadn’t quite fallen asleep. His eyes were still shut, partly because she knew he couldn’t face her. Truth was Prerna hadn’t forgiven him entirely. How could she? She had thought that they were friends before anything else, and that meant he respected her. It’s going to take her more time to heal from that wound.
“You’re our servant’s daughter. You really thought I cared for you let alone loved you?”
The words had been ruminating in her head over and over again, even now, after Anurag apologized what seems like a thousand times; it still cut her deep.
“Yeah I know babe”, Prerna smiled down at him and kissed his forehead. “Wait don’t open your eyes, you look very insta-worthy right now. Let me take a picture”
“Do I look hot?” Anurag smirked the way he usually does.
“Nah.. I just wanted to commemorate the ugliness it all its glory”
“You’re hilarious”, Anurag promptly opened his eyes. The sunlight hit them in a way where they turned from dark brown to almost hazel, something quite breathtaking. But these days Prerna had to hold herself back from complimenting Anurag so freely. She refused to be a cliché but after the way he hurt her, she had to be careful. Keep him at arm’s length. Honestly, even when she tries to express her love, it doesn't come out the right way. Another thing that cut her so deep.
“I almost posted it on my account”, Prerna said, “not that I would ever let Komo baby follow me but your whole family follows me. So, gotta keep up the pretense”.
Anurag grew quiet. Prerna knew that was an unfair comment to make on her part. He really was trying. After he confessed to her why he had insulted her, it made her even more mad. How could he be so stupid to think that pushing her away, making her hate him, would work. That’s why Prerna was even more upset. They spent a good portion of that day trying to piece together their relationship. After handful of apologies and tears smearing down both of their faces, it was time for Prerna to make a decision. She knew he had to do a lot more than say sorry to earn her trust again, and she knew the red flags of an abusive relationship, nonetheless, she embraced him. At the end, she chose to believe Anurag.
“Sorry”, Prerna almost whispered. Anurag didn’t reply. Instead, he went back to sleep.
The glow on Anurag’s face started diminishing as the sun set down further and further down. It was time to go back home. For one night, Prerna wanted to escape Mohini aunty’s eyerolls, Nivedita’s pompous remarks, and Komolika’s whole existence. Above all else, she was tired. She wanted to be with her husband, alone, away from the helplessness. She was usually so quick on her feet, but loving Anurag has made her weak. It’s an unfortunate thought, but one that remains with the forgiveness she’s kept hidden.
“Come on let’s go home”, Prerna urged. She tried to jostle Anurag away from her lap. After a couple of tries, he reluctantly stood up. He cupped Prerna’s cheeks and kissed her lips. A soft but quick peck.
“I know you’re hurt babe but please don’t shut me out”, he was smiling. The fuzzy warm feeling in her belly returned, one she used to get when she first fell in love with Anurag. Prerna returned the smile, a genuine one. One that said, I’m trying. She got on her tippy toes, held him by the back of his neck and caressed his lips with her own. At first, ever so slightly. Then, she kissed him like he hurt her, hard and fast. Anurag must have sensed it because he stopped her after a few seconds. He liked the lingering, slow kisses better. As they stood in the park, next to the basketball court, it occurred to both of them that they might not be able to go back to the way things used to be.
Anurag interlocked his fingers with Prerna’s and led her to his car. It was a silent 5-minute trip to the car. Prerna relished in the silence, took it as anopportunity to compose herself.
It was Anurag’s idea to have Prerna claim to be his wife. In hindsight, it wasn’t the brightest idea he had, but one that kept Prerna close to him. That too seemed a little controlling now that he thought about it. He can honestly say he was thinking about Prerna’s safety when he decided to marry Komolika. Being apart from her was a better option than seeing her dead. But there were two people in their relationship. And the fact he decided to end the relationship without even so much as talking to Prerna was a betrayal he can only apologize for. To add literal insult to injury, all the horrible things he said about Prerna only made matters worse.
Last Tuesday, Prerna came what can only be described as stomping to Basu house. Rest of his family had gone to visit his dad at the hospital but he had stayed back to look through some Basu Publications paperwork.
“Bullshit”,Anurag heard Prerna before he saw her. When he did finally see her, messy hair and red eyes, he was taken by surprise.
“What are you doing here?” Anurag asked.
“I call bullshit. You didn’t mean anything you said to me last week. So what’s the deal?” She was inches away from him. He could smell the Jasmine scent from this close, it was faint but still intoxicating.
“Nothing.I told you I like playing mind games and you were the perfect target”, Anurag honestly didn’t know how long he could put up the charade, but he had to try.
“Yeah and I wasn’t freakin born yesterday. You really want me to believe that? I don’t think I’m that bad judge of character”, Prerna snapped back.
“Maybe you don’t know yourself that well, probably why it was so easy to pull the rug under your feet”, Anurag could barely look at her. The lack of conviction in his words had to give him away.
“You still wanna pull the rug after you find out that I’m pregnant?”
“You’re lying”, Anurag cursed himself for spitting out the words out a little too fast. He finally met her eyes, swollen red, and smeared what little mascara she had managed to put on. Her hair was framing her face like it usually does, but a little messier, as if she couldn’t have bothered to slide a comb through it. And finally the red hot anger, from her head to the tips of her toes. He felt lightheaded all of a sudden.
Prerna swiftly turned around without another word.
“She threatened to kill you”, Anurag finally blurted it out. Prerna stopped in her tracks.
“So instead of calling the cops, you thought you’d marry the person that threatened to kill your girlfriend?” As soon as Anurag heard the word girlfriend, he couldn’t help but think that they never actually had that conversation. They hadn't talked about "what they were". Never put an official label on their relationship, didn't talk about being exclusive to each other, or call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. He knew it wasn't the time nor the place to dwell on it but it weirdly distracted him. It took him a couple seconds to shake the thought away and instead focused on Prerna. His Prerna. So effortlessly beautiful and intelligent and kind.
“I think she’s also involved in our dads’ accident”, he didn’t know if that really helped his case.
“What do you mean she was involved? Then let’s go and tell the police”, Prerna’s voice caught on her throat as a hopeful look veiled her face. She was finally going to get justice for her father.
“We don’t have proof. That’s what I’m trying to tell you here”, Anurag stepped towards her and slid his hand around Prerna’s waist. He felt her flinch. He stepped back just as quickly, but Prerna inched closer after a moment. He tried to hold her again and this time, she leaned into him. “Hey, we have to tread carefully here. Komolika is dangerous”.
“So what did she say? That you had to marry her or I’d stop breathing?” Prerna raised her eyebrows in disbelief.
“Yeah, basically. What would you have done in my place?” Anurag asked honestly.
“I don’t know but I wouldn’t have married her that’s for sure”
Anurag was still holding Prerna by the waist, just so. He rest his forehead on hers and whispered, “I’m sorry”.
Prerna didn’t make a sound. Instead, she looked at him, gave a small smile, and embraced him.
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