Is after marriage same as before marriage?

I think genuine fans of this show are divided between Mishti is not cheating and Mishti is cheating. The origin of the doubt in my opinion is marriage. While, had MisVeer marriage happened and Mishaan happened, no one wouldn't have supported them except for people who like chemistry and physics. 

But here MisVeer had not married. And clearly, one could say they are not in love either as much as Mishti 's parents had been before the other woman was introduced. And neither MisVeer are married, nor dated for years unlike the older couple. 

While the situations are different, and the marriage thing didn't happen, is it cheating? 

I don't know. For many people here, the event of marriage is the deciding factor. But there are people who sees commitment as the deciding factor! 

What do you think guys?  Marriage or commitment? 

My opinion is that commitment is big, but for me marriage is even more big. So the impact of cheating doesn't sink in my mind as much as S1 wherein I felt like volcano ready to fire them. 

P. S. Warning :,im not discussing whether is Mishti is wrong or right. I am just discussing if commitment and marriage are same? 

Both marriage and commitment are important factors and it should be. 

I don't find Mishti cheating cz her engagement was a planned one not out of love. Of course,  it's a mistake on her part cz it's going to hurt Veer. But Mishti is also a human being and she too can commit mistakes. She has no one who can guide her and teach her the true meaning of love. 

I don't know from where had she heard the half-baked stories of her bio-father leaving her Mom cz of the "time factor"....... But actually these half-baked stories have put her and the ones related to her into this mess. 

Anyways,  it will be a cheating for me if she doesn't informs Veer now cz it's hightime she has realised her feelings for Ruhaan. 

Cheating is cheating whether it's bfr marriage or after and in my pov Mishti is yet to cheat.

I do value commitment bfr marriage too but what if their is no love?  It's better to call off the wedding. 

IMO, marriage and commitment are not the same. Marriage is way deeper as there is  so much emotional investment of the spouses as well as their family. Commitment, definitely not as strong as marriage, has value too. People get emotional involved and hurt in commitment too.

Ideally, both should not be broken and so thought carefully before getting into.

Nothing < Dating < Engagement < Marriage.

Cheating happens whenever there is betrayal of trust.  Cheating doesn't necessarily require some huge commitment or physical involvement.

Eg. If a vegetable seller underweighs while selling, that's cheating too.

I don't think commitment and marriage are same. Commitment is big but marriage.... Well, it's not big or small and can't be compared with anything.... Because marriage is a relation where two persons put their soul in it....this is the relation, that doesn't just concerns two people but everyone connected to them. When a girl marries a guy, she leaves her home for him...her home where she's born and had lived all her life, she leaves all her relations behind and vows to cherish her new relations....anyways everyone knows these things of course.

Commitemen; well one should always be man of his words and never break his commitment. But is it possible to never break it?? No, I don't think it is. There is no Raghukul reeti sada chali aai....pran jai per vachan na jai...what if I had committed to my friend that I'll meet her tomorrow and my mum gets sick suddenly... What shall I do then? Shall I not break my commitment and leave my mum like that? No, I'd never do that, nor will anyone else for that matter. So the point is commitments do break, whether they're big or small. Now, let's turn the situation like this...; what if I had promised my mum that I'll meet her and my mother in law needs me more that time, or wants me to accompany her in her shopping? I think any married girl would give more importance to her mother in law in this case ( situation is not intense here) 

So the point is marriage and commitment are two very different things. Why, when two people are in live in relationship, they are committed but are they bound to each others parents too? No,they're not. Commitment is a part of marriage but they both are quite different according to me and commitment is not sacred as marriage is. We don't take vows in commitment, god doesn't give his blessing in commitment. So yes, it is different

What cheating has got to do with marriage? 

If marriage is the only relationship which requires fidelity then people will never reach there, do you understand what I am saying? From dating to marriage, we are saying one can sleep with whoever he/she wants to that's not cheating IF your partner knows that you are actively pursuing other people but if he believes that you are not hugging, kissing, having feelings for other person then it is cheating. 

Not every relationship goes to marriage, you know there are so many jerks around that people have commitment issues, anyone who is entering in a monogamous relationship has a right not to be cheated on, relationship =/= marriage. 

Mishti planned her marriage with a guy, she found stable and nice, she told him that she loves him, she was intimate with him... Generally this is called deceiving and using someone. Veer is not aware of the planned party of marriage, is he? He believes Mishti loves him, before calling Ruhaan, making sure that he loves her, why can't she break up with Veer? 

"It is only engagement" "Only 6 months" 

Ruhaan and Mishti don't even have "Engagement" or "6 months". Imagine if Ruhaan sleeps with someone else before coming home, that will be fine, right? Or if Mishti and Ruhaan start dating, he does everything he did with Mishti, to some other girl, that won't be cheating as well, I guess 

For the record, Kunal gave this reason as well, he had said what he had with Mauli was friendship, "Nandini se Mila to Pata chala, pyar Ye hota hai" 

So after marriage or before marriage, it depends on how someone was involved or invested in his/her relationship, you can Google and read horror stories about repercussions of cheating on people, they are not necessarily married or even engaged, just too much in love and their partners couldn't care less. 

My two cents on generic cases.

Marriage is definitely far more important. At least in Indian context. However, in my opinion, marriage should not be the only deciding factor for fidlety. There are people in relationships/engaged and there too, the two people involved need to be loyal to their partners both emotionally and physically. 

Yes, in some cases, people may grow feelings outside the relationship, and as long as someone doesnt act on those feelings, and rectifies it within time, the momentary transgression - or watever one calls it - can be overlooked. 

I was of the opinion that until Mishti had some clarity of her own inner turmoil, we should give her some time, and see how the story unfolds. However, at this point, her feelings are clear, and she knows where she stands. Now, if she doesnt break up with Veer soon before taking any further decision, then slowly she would be walking down the same alley which her father did years ago.

Here, I'd also like to add one more thing. Such engagement breaking scenes have been shown in other TV shows as well. For example, Shivay Singh Oberoi used to flirt and manhandle Anika all throughout his engagement period with Tia in Ishqbaaz. And, yet we all whole-heartedly rooted for Shivika. This is bcoz, in all these other shows, the third angle was shown in negative light (Tia was a villain). So, it was easier to choose the right from wrong.

However, in THIS show, all 3 people - Mishti, Veer and Ruhaan - are positive characters. And that is where the confusion stems from. We can't say for sure, who is more right, bcoz all are right in their own places. It's all a matter of perspective.

Right now, I am feeling more for Veer than MisHaan. The guy is in a real mess between two budding lovers, for no major fault of his IMO. (Incompatibility isnt exactly anyone's fault).

Veer has relatively less supporters, but I think that is primarily bcoz of the actor (no offense to anyone). Rohan surely is doing his best, but we needed a little more fluidity there. On a lighter note, had someone like Karan Tacker or Ravi Dubey played Veer, then I believe there would have been a tough competition between MishVeer and MisHaan. 

Originally posted by: amritat

My two cents on generic cases.

Marriage is definitely far more important. At least in Indian context. However, in my opinion, marriage should not be the only deciding factor for fidlety. There are people in relationships/engaged and there too, the two people involved need to be loyal to their partners both emotionally and physically. 

Yes, in some cases, people may grow feelings outside the relationship, and as long as someone doesnt act on those feelings, and rectifies it within time, the momentary transgression - or watever one calls it - can be overlooked. 

I was of the opinion that until Mishti had some clarity of her own inner turmoil, we should give her some time, and see how the story unfolds. However, at this point, her feelings are clear, and she knows where she stands. Now, if she doesnt break up with Veer soon before taking any further decision, then slowly she would be walking down the same alley which her father did years ago.

Here, I'd also like to add one more thing. Such engagement breaking scenes have been shown in other TV shows as well. For example, Shivay Singh Oberoi used to flirt and manhandle Anika all throughout his engagement period with Tia. And, yet we all rooted for Shivika. This is bcoz, in all these other shows, the third angle was shown in negative light (Tia was a villain). 

However, in THIS show, all 3 people - Mishti, Veer and Ruhaan - are positive characters. And that is where the confusion stems from. We can't say for sure, who is more right, bcoz all are right in their own places. Right now, I am feeling more for Veer than MisHaan. The guy is in a real mess between two budding lovers, for no major fault of his IMO. (Incompatibility isnt exactly anyone's fault).

Veer has relatively less supporters, but I think that is primarily bcoz of the actor (no offense to anyone). Rohan surely is doing his best, but we needed a little more fluidity there. On a lighter note, had someone like Karan Tacker played Veer, then I believe there would have been a tough competition between MishVeer and MisHaan. 

Agree with your post. I also feel unlike other shows, Misti was not in a relationship out of 'majboori'.  After her engagement, during the convo with Radhika, she tells Misti that you couldn't wait for 3 months for the marriage before. So, Misti was happy with Veer and it seemed to be a would be love marriage. I haven't seen this happening in ITV yet. 

To me any committed relationship matters - marriage, live in, engagement does not matter. A piece of paper should not make a difference. When 2 people commit to each other, there is a relationship and trust there. It is important to be honest with each other. If you stop loving that person or don’t want to be with that person, you owe it to the other person to be honest about it and come clean immediately. 

The worst feeling in ones life is to be cheated on, especially by that one person you are committed to and trusts.  Don’t do something to another person that you don’t want done to you is always my principle. 

Commitment or marriage is built out of trust between two people. If you ask which one is bigger, I would say both. Be it commitment or marriage, there is a promise between the two involved in the relationship that they would stand by each other come what may. So that promise is what is the most important thing to me. Agreed that marriage involves two families, but in this case, Mishti and veer's families are also involved. She is not just in a commitment. She is engaged. With her own will, and as per her plan. So both sets of families are also involved. 

Having said that, it is quite common these days to have break-up's in marriages or relationships which the conservative me can't accept, but if it is not mutual, it hurts the person who is sincere. It hurts way too much. Some people who are emotionally strong may be able to come out of it in a short span whereas some people may take ages but still can't forget the one he/she is committed/married to. I have seen live examples of such cases so I can say for sure.

I agree with @amritat here

As far as marriage v/s commitment comes, personally I believe commitment is more important. But if you look from the religious aspect and how a successful long term relation culminates into marriage and involves two families - then marriage would seem more important.

I am not making a comparison, just saying - Rajdeep and Nandini had 7 years of marriage. At least during that time, Nandini was completely committed to him, But he was abusive. He brought another girl to his bed and told it was a punishment for Nandini for disoeying her.

Then how do we prefer such marriages where the meaning of the sacred vows get changed per the people's (involved) wish.

The point is, it completely depends on your mindset. You can be faithful or downright abusive and it's totally on you.

The damage that follows after cheating - it's the same. Now when you have been in a relationship for a longer period of time, it hurts more. When you are married, it doesn't just involve you but your family also. And a lot of time people end up adjusting thinking about the people involved with them.

Otherwise, it hurts the same when you are betrayed by the one person whom you trusted the most.

So for me, commitment is the prime factor and marriage is just the conclusion of a beautiful journey into an everlasting bond. A committed relationship without the seal 'marriage' can survive but a marriage without commitment can't.