Part - 5
I have a wonderful fiance . We just celebrated our third- anniversary two nights ago.”
“Nice, very nice, I don’t meet many happily committed people.”
“Well, we are,” Sakshi repeated, wanting to believe what she was saying, but knew she was polishing an old apple and hoping it would still taste delicious.
“Were you married?” Sakshi asked. “Yes, I was married for Five years to a smart, talented woman who unfortunately died a little over two years ago. Actually, she was in a serious car accident and was killed instantly. Thank God she didn’t suffer.”
“Oh my, that’s terrible. That must have been a shock.”
“It was, though I have to admit, ours was not a happy marriage.”
“Too bad.” Sakshi nodded, her eyes and scrunched eye brows expressing sorrow.
“Yes.” Arjun shrugged. “It was one of those unhappy marriages where neither of us could make a move to divorce, so we existed in the same house, though not the same bed.
Still,when I got the news she was killed it was such a shock. I felt terrible, sorry that she was gone, her life ripped away and out of my life without the chance to resolve our problems, not that they could have been resolved.
Then I felt ambivalence. I was suddenly free, and yet, a part of me missed her. I had a hard time with so many confused, mixed feelings.
Five years is a long time. I think that underneath our problems, I loved her more than I realized, but bitterness made it impossible to feel anything like love while she was alive.”
He took a deep breath and looked down at his notebook and touched the cover. “Sad, isn’t it?” Sakshi nodded and was about to respond when the waiter came over and asked for their order, which Arjun gave to him quickly, frowning and seemingly irritated at being interrupted.
When the waiter left, Arjun continued. “I have to admit I cried at the funeral and felt sad and lost for days. You know, the suddenness of the change, the emptiness in the house, so many mixed feelings, her clothing and remnants of her life everywhere around me, photographs of us when we were in college and madly in love, but within a week or two I was fine.
In fact, I felt relieved and happy to realize I was free and life had other possibilities now that I was no longer married.” He paused and leaned back in his chair, sighed deeply then smiled. “But that was then and this is now.”
“Right.” Sakshi nodded and looked at the smile on Arjun's face, the twinkle in his dark eyes. “Still, it must have been hard losing someone after all those years together.
I can’t imagine how I would feel if something like that happened to Sameer. That’s his name, my Fiance. We’re very close. He’s my best friend.”
“Well, it sounds like your situation is a lot different than mine. Like I said, it felt like I was starting a new chapter of my life. I sold my house about a year ago, made a little money, but not as much as I should have because of the economy, traveled, had a few short affairs without feeling I was cheating, now that she was gone.”
“A few affairs,” Sakshi repeated, hesitating. She wondered what it must be like to be free and have other relationships, suddenly remembering how she had been thinking about what it would be like to have the kind of excitement she read about in her romance novels and how she felt when Priya and Radika told her about the men they were dating.
Not to mention how freely they talked about their care-free lives, even describing how so and so made them scream.
“Did you cheat when you were married?” She finally asked, surprised at her own boldness.
Arjun smiled, nodding, “Yes, and I suspect she did too. I mean, we went months without making-love to each other.”
Stunned by Arjun’s bluntness and the use of that word, one she never uttered, although Priya and Radika did, she nodded and felt a twinge of excitement.
“I suspect you’ve never cheated, but have you ever thought about it?” Arjun asked, looking into Sakshi’s eyes.
Fortunately, the two cups of Coffees were placed in front of each of them, giving Sakshi the chance to think how to answer Arjun’s question. She glanced up at the waiter, a young man with a thin mustache and a small goatee.
She then looked back at Arjun when he thanked the waiter. He turned back to Sakshi, their gazes meeting, a slight smile on his lips. “So have you?” he asked, seeing her hesitance.
“I don’t know.” “Yes, you do, but you're embarrassed to admit it.” Sakshi was again stunned by his bluntness. She looked at her cup of coffee, placed her fingers around the handle , thinking about his statement, but also wanting to propose a toast.
She was delighted when Arjun picked up his cup ,raising it to hers and smiling. “To Autumn, season of misty fruitfulness and blossoming friendship. ”When their cups clicked, he added, “That’s part of a line from Keats.”
“I’ll drink to that,” she said,clicking his cup before taking a sip. She noticed that when Arjun took a sip, he looked into her eyes over the rim of his cup, causing a tingle to rise in her, the same feeling she’d had in the park when she first looked at him.
At the same time, her breathing stopped, catching in her throat, and she wondered what was happening to her. “You haven’t answered my question,” Arjun said, putting down his cup.
“Oh, right, your question about cheating. Am I too embarrassed to admit it?” Sakshi took another sip of coffee, not sure what to say, and could feel Arjun waiting for her answer.
“Yes, tell me, I want to know.” He smiled slightly. “I would never want to hurt Sameer,” Sakshi answered.....
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to be continued.......
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