Is accepting a cheating husband back regressive?

Nopes absolutely not. I wanted to clarify this point after I made the last post. In fact I am absolutely of a different POV. Accepting back some one who has cheated on you requires a certain kind of strength as well. And I appreciate that strength. One of the people I respect in real life is Hilary Clinton. She stood by her husband despite the cheating. Does that make it regressive or her a doormat?Absolutely not . Accepting back a cheating husband if one is willingly accepting him back is not at all regressive. But in the case of Mauli and Kunal it's different at least for me. Let me explain                         1) Mauli is heart broken after finding about the EMA. She files for divorce but still wants Kunal back. Completely understandable . It's not easy to get over such a long relationship. My problem is here Kunal says terrible things to her when Nandini goes missing . Even calls her giri hui aurat. Then when Nandini is found he doesn't ever care to apologise and tells Mauli straight to her face he doesn't want to be with her while Mauli begs him to come back . Again I am all right with Mauli here . She is heart broken. But the very next day Kunal comes back when he gets the news of the baby and Mauli immediately accepts him back and keeps a fast for him forgetting all that he had said. This is not acceptable because it's unrealistic. I am sure there is not even one person here who can say this is realistic that just one evening before husband badly humiliates his wife and the very next day wife will be like ok cheating and humiliation are all forgiven and I will keep a fast for you. No one will do this willingly unwillingly yes but not willingly. Here things becomes unrealistic as any free independent woman with one ounce of self respect won't do it. Yes working on the relationship in a long term perspective is acceptable but not immediately and not like this. Not Mauli but writing is regressive here .                                              
2) I would applaud the writers here for making Mauli lie about her pregnancy . They gave her back her self respect. But took it away from her when they made her apologise to Kunal for lying about the pregnancy during the camp track. Chalo it's ok Mauli lied so she apologised but why didn't writers make Kunal apologise for not trusting her ? For doubting her pregancy? For shoving the divorce papers in her face on Karwa chauth? Is Kunals's mistake not as big? It is but for writers since Kunal is a good father everything is forgiven. Writing here is regressive again . When we talk about equality make both apologise but no only woman has to apologise. Yes it is regressive. They made it seem that it was entirely Mauli's fault. This is the point I stooped watching the serial.              
   3) Post leap Mauli has Ishaan in her life. He loves her and her daughter completely and selflessly . I agree it's no reason for Mauli to love him. Love can't be forced. Despite everything Ishaan has done Mauli doesn't love him . Ok I get it. But she still loves Kunal? That I don't get? Leave alone the cheating part since I do believe one can forgive and accept a cheater. But can some one accept a person or still love a person who thinks you will lie about pregnancy? Who thinks wife is trying to trap me via pregnancy? Who has said I have no respect for you and that you are a giri hui aurat? Can any one forget such harsh words and actions by some one you loved and continue love that person? I don't think so. Yes one can fall in love with that person again. If one sees that the person has changed , regrets the words said. But here that is not the case . Here we are to believe Mauli still loves him because he is a great doctor and father forgetting how he has treated her. Again a woman should love a man based on how he treats others and not based on how he has treated her. Again writing is regressive. Not giving the female character the respect she deserves.                         Yes one can and should forgive. Forgiveness is not regressive . But here Kunal doesn't need or want forgiveness since he hasn't done anything wrong as per him or the writers. So it's writing that is regressive and hence Mauli accepting back Kunal in this situation in the current situation given all that has happened makes it regressive.

Accepting a husband who cheated on you once isn't weak or regressive at all. IF the husband not only promises to change but if he also actually takes steps to improve himself and the marriage. 

@sabhyata -- such a nice post!!

Originally posted by: Sabhayata

watching the serial.              
   3) Post leap Mauli has Ishaan in her life. He loves her and her daughter completely and selflessly . I agree it's no reason for Mauli to love him. Love can't be forced. Despite everything Ishaan has done Mauli doesn't love him . Ok I get it. But she still loves Kunal? That I don't get? Leave alone the cheating part since I do believe one can forgive and accept a cheater. But can some one accept a person or still love a person who thinks you will lie about pregnancy? Who thinks wife is trying to trap me via pregnancy? Who has said I have no respect for you and that you are a giri hui aurat? Can any one forget such harsh words and actions by some one you loved and continue love that person? I don't think so. Yes one can fall in love with that person again. If one sees that the person has changed , regrets the words said. But here that is not the case . Here we are to believe Mauli still loves him because he is a great doctor and father forgetting how he has treated her. Again a woman should love a man based on how he treats others and not based on how he has treated her. Again writing is regressive. Not giving the female character the respect she deserves.                         Yes one can and should forgive. Forgiveness is not regressive . But here Kunal doesn't need or want forgiveness since he hasn't done anything wrong as per him or the writers. So it's writing that is regressive and hence Mauli accepting back Kunal in this situation in the current situation given all that has happened makes it regressive.

Edited by _charu_ - 5 years ago

Originally posted by: _charu_

Hhmm I like the posts which stimulates my brain  😆 dear , what makes you think this is impossible ?  If kunal never said those words and still choose nandini, will he be a better person now ? 

Edited by prettywomaniya - 5 years ago

Really good post.

Originally posted by: looseseal

Accepting a husband who cheated on you once isn't weak or regressive at all. IF the husband not only promises to change but if he also actually takes steps to improve himself and the marriage.

But accepting a husband who didn't just cheat on you, but totally rejected you and chose his mistress (or divine love in case of KuNan) then I'll say its insulting, not just to the woman but also to the institute of marriage and love. And this

In case of silsila, the latter is the case. When the revelation happened and Dida faked illness and brought Kunal back home, we saw Mouli softening a little. It was also during the time when Kunal hadn't yet become obsessive Nandini pujari and seemed to care about not hurting Mouli any further. Then I made a case that Mouli wanting Kunal back and forgiving him made sense because its not easy to let go of 7 years of happy relationship. I think everyone should make an effort on forgiving a mistake or even a betrayal. But after Kunal not apologising, humiliating Mouli any chance he gets, not even thinking about his marriage, NO NO NO, taking him back isn't about strength or understanding anymore.

100% agreed. Apologising toh chodo Kunal and the writers don't even think he did anything wrong. He wasn't wrong for the EMA nor for doubting her pregnancy. Nothing. Which is what irks me that writers want us to forget all this and concentrate on Kunal's current Mahanta.

^ Kunal mahaan hai bas 😳

Don't know about regressive or not.But i think if a woman accepts her cheater husband back she can never be happy.She won't be able to trust her again there will always be doubts and fear of the same thing happening again.And most importantly the relationship won't be the same again.So i dont think cheater husband should be accepted back.She should forgive him and be friendly with him but should not accept back as a husband.

Forgiving someone who seeks forgiveness is one thing but going back to someone who is not even sorry is another. OK lets say Kunal does regret hurting Mauli, still fact is he chose someone over her and she was no girlfriend but his wife. He wanted her not to be preggers so bad so he could be with Nandini.