IPK3 Saga continued...Lingering moments- Chapter 23
"Devvv..."
Chandni
jerked up from her delirium. The room was lighted up with late morning sun; but
bereft of warmth of Dev's presence, suddenly leaving her cold.
His wrath
last night came rushing back in her heart...'You have hurt me!'... Her heart
pounded in her head...his harsh anger burning her soul.
'He is gone;
but surely, he must have left notes for me...he always does.'
In desperate
hope, she threw away her blanket and rushed to the bathroom...nothing!... Frantic,
she dashed to the wardrobe, yet nothing!
Loneliness
hit her with a force of hurricane!
'He's angry
and he won't forgive me so easily...I wanted him to have all the happiness in
the world...if not from me; then from somebody else, whoever makes him
complete...I never ever expected this outburst of anger from him...What does he
expect me to do?'
In a mad
hope for reconciliation, she dialed up his number; but his mobile was switched
off. Feeling completely empty inside, she crumpled to the floor, heavy sobs
raking her body...
"Shikhaa...Shikhaaa...Get
up."
Veer pounded loud on Shikha's door ...no response, "Oh Shikha... Ohhh meri
raani...Uth jao raani..."
"Shikhaaa...!"
Veer
stumbled as the door was yanked open by an irate Shikha, "What's going on? Why
are you blasting off my door early morning?"
Veer took in
her disheveled sleepy state and without a word, with a content smile, he circled his arms around her
clasping her in his possessive embrace, placing a good morning kiss, currently
restricted to a light peck on top of her head.
"Oh my
darling Shikha, early morning is past two hours now!I know you love your beauty
sleep; but you are beautiful enough now... So get going, Girl!"
Wiggling hard
to shove him away, she growled, "Who has given you the right to disturb my
sleep? Till date, not even my mother or Chandni jiji dared to wake me up before
my time. Tum koun se laat sahaab ho?" her voice pitched low over the last words
to avoid anyone else overhearing.
"Laat
Sahaab?? I like that name...may be better, Lord Governor! I don't mind you
calling me that instead of your earlier petite "Aji sunte ho...doesn't suit you
so well... Laat Sahaab is better!"
He was teasing her; his face radiant with his
happiest smile, almost boyish...
"And Shikha
darling, getting up early is going to be your prime duty very soon...so better
practice from now itself."
"I
absolutely hate waking up early." Shikha whined her lips pursed tight.
"Things that
we hate most in life, life requires us to do those most!" Veer shrugged.
A nagging
voice at the back of her head warned her. 'He is perhaps right. Life would
change completely very soon. But I won't concede easily.'
"I don't
care. I need my sleep, that's it! "Her voice pitched high, her eyes defiant.
Veer was
taken aback with her suddenly hostile demeanor.
"Ok Dear!
Accepted...We'll work around it. For the time being, now that you are woken up,
why don't you freshen up and go to kitchen?"
She wrinkled
her nose and reluctantly gave in.
"Ok!"
She
went inside to finish her chores and Veer turned back whistling softly to
himself.
Advay entered the Dhaba...An old man, perhaps the owner approached him immediately,
"Come in,
Beta. Take a seat."
"May I get some water?"
"Yes of
course. I'll get you Gur-Paani (Jaggery and water)."
"No...No! May
I get a bottle of water...I mean mineral water."
"Beta, you
look tired. You must have come a long way. We do have a bottle but it's a month
old... I can give you fresh spring water that we keep in Matka(pot)...It's cold
enough and also very refreshing...And then, drinking just water on empty stomach
may give you pain, have it with Gur and it will replenish your body..."
More than
anything else, the soothing caring tone of the old man calmed Advay's senses
making him nod; a little bit absent minded.
The old man
brought water and gur. "What will you like to eat, beta?
"Nothing." Advay's reply was terse as he drank water fast. It did quench his thirst and
sooth his throat...the physical relief eased out the stress from his body a
little.
"Beta, you
look much stressed...There's pain in your eyes...your mind is troubled...but why
punish the God given body?...If god has given trouble, he will give
solutions also...to search those solutions, you'll need to strive..."
Advay looked
up suddenly in the memory of Naani's earlier words. He looked hard at the old
man. The man looked very sincere while he continued talking.
"...and for
striving you need strength... If you eat something, I shall get some business
and feel better...If you leave without eating, I'll only get worry...whether
something happened to you on way further...so why not choose to make us both
feel better...
Advay
suddenly looked up at the last words.'Only if life's choices were easy to make both feel good. At least here, the choice wasn't so difficult.'
He
had never till date allowed anybody to preach him... Yet the voice displaying
subtle authority and the rational argument were taking a grip on his inner
turmoil.
He smiled,
"Don't worry about your business."
He placed a five hundred rupees note on the
table.
The man
stepped back and spoke vehemently, "No beta... It's not about money... We are
poor but we earn honest living from our own work...I will never ever take money
for just water... It's given by nature... It's free...My wife has been making
hot parathas...She makes them well... You'll like them." The man urged sincerely.
'Not better
than my Chandu.' Advay thought of Chandni's loving eyes while serving him
breakfast. Her fond memory was everywhere...in everything that he did...
He nodded
again, "All right. Bring whatever you have."
"Di...Are you
busy?" Chandni called out from Pooja's door.
"Chandni...you
woke up? Come in...How are you feeling today?"
Pooja beamed happily ushering a
hesitant Chandni in.
"I am OK
Di... Have you had breakfast? And others?"
"Yes
Chandni, we all had. Only you two sisters were missing."
"Didi...Naani..." Shilpa
halted halfway in her speech as she barged in. "Oh my god! Pooja di, you'll be
taking all these clothes?? They are so modern...you'l look so different, so
young!...so refreshing..."
In excitement, she could not find next words.
"Yes Shilpa!
When you are in Rome, live like Romans...These clothes you haven't seen; but I
always wore them in London...I was very different then...I have left a life back
in London."
Pooja grew serious...her thoughts going back to her life before
marriage...She suddenly became aware of everybody watching her and shook her
thoughts away.
" I am very
comfortable in these clothes. You can also take something like this with you. I can loan you some of my tighter clothes."
"Oh Di..That would be so nice!I
haven't started packing anything, and see? You are almost done here...I have
never seen you so excited."
"Of course,
I am! Very much! I love travelling. This is best Diwali gift from Bhaiyya. I
wanted to go on Europe trip from my college; but times were different then...he
could not allow me though all my other friends had gone. Yet, he has remembered
after all these years..."
"Yes Di, Sir
is very openhearted...
"No
Shilpa!... Earlier, he wasn't like how he is now... He was a closed
person...never ever sharing anything...He hardly spoke to me during the college
days...He became more open after Adi's birth... He never ever listened to
others either...always did his own thing... But yes! There's no one as genuine
hearted as he is."
Chandni
smiled agreeing with Pooja completely, her mind reflecting on Dev with Adi.
"Di...did he
have breakfast before leaving to office today?" She was hesitant but very
worried.
Both Shilpa
and Pooja turned with a shocking look on their face.
"E matar ka
dana! Naani gave you a message and you are chit chatting here with didi?" Murli interrupted the girls.
"I am not
chit- chatting." Shilpa made a face at Murli, "We were all discussing about
Europe trip."
"Europe
trip?... God knows whether it will happen or not? Bhaiyya has gone to
Allahabad now...if he does not return early..."
Now Chandni
turned to Murli in a shock, "Allahabad??" her voice a mere whisper.
"Yes
Chandni!... Bhaiyya is gone to Allahabad...he left in the night itself. Must
be halfway now..."
Pooja held a
shocked Chandni in her embrace; but Chandni just stood still... Fear pulsing
through her... The air, relaxed earlier, suddenly thickening with grief.
'He went to
Allahabad?? And without telling me? In the night itself?... He left me?...
He left me!...Oh God!... no! Not again!...not again please!'
Fear slammed
into her chest causing pain through her whole body. her eyes, her head, her
arms, her legs, even her gums...as she clenched her teeth!
"Didi, naani
has called you to her room.' Murli quietly informed, his head bowed down in fear.
Things were
not right! Everything was going wrong. Chandni just stood still...frozen in her
place...unable to respond to anybody.
"Chandni,
you must go ...meet Naani...She's also very worried." Pooja cautioned.
Chandni
could not move... Pooja held her and walked out. As they approached Naani's room,
she pushed Chandni towards the door.
"Come beta,
come sit with me." Naani called out to Chandni as she lingered on the
door...fear gripping her.
"Naaaniii..."Chandni
forced herself to speak...but her voice hardly a
murmur!
"Are you
feeling OK?"
Naani's loving tone sotthed Chandni's troubled mind. She forced
her frozen feet to walk and sat near Naani's feet..
"Naaani? He
is gone? He went to Allahabad? Why?"
"You tell me
why. What happened between you two last night? Can you share it with me? My
Chiku is hurt but he will never open when his wounds are deep...at least you tell me."
"Naani..."Chandni
hesitated, "he is angry with me..."
"Yes...I know
that...but why? What happened? Is it something related to your getting your
period?" Naani was anxious.
"Yes
Naani..."
Chandni was finding difficulty in talking as last night's events came
back. "I got my periods yesterday..."
"Aaand?" Naani urged.
Chandni knew
she could not lie or hide anything from Naani. Naani knew people in and out.
And perhaps Naani was the best family member to counsel her now. With a burst
of forced confidence, she made herself speak.
"Naani...We
have both been hoping for a child... but yesterday I knew that something is
wrong with my body...I was kidnapped and drowned...then jumped in a
waterfall...my body is damaged, naani...I shall never be able to conceive... "
Agony made tears stream down Chandni's eyes.
"That's not
true...is that what you told him?"Naani patted on her head.
"Yes
naani...And I asked him to get married to someone who can give him child."
There! it
was out...out from her heavy heart.
"Whaat?? ?...You
said that?"
Naani
couldn't believe her ears. She jerked up in anger. Chandni stumbled at her
feet. She was shivering in fear.
"You asked
Chiku to get married again? How could you even say that to him?" Naani was getting
angrier by the second.
"What else
can I do, Naani? ...He wants a child...He needs a child...Only a child can help
him find his inner peace."
"Yes
Chandni! But a child with you! You are his life!
"No Naani! I
cannot be...He has already suffered hugely because of me. I will not let him suffer further."
"That's
nonsense." Naani rubbished her claim.
"Why? Just
because I love him, should I hold onto him? Should I deprive him of his life's
ultimate happiness?"
"Chandni?
Have you given any thought to what you are suggesting to Chiku?... A man who
has been day and night bound to you...even when he despised you and only
revenge drove him...but there wasn't a night or a day that he would not think
of you...and now you are the purpose for his life, for his happiness...you expect
that loving heart to go and mate with another woman, just to have a child?"
Chandni knew
this! They had always been bound to each other. As long he remembered her, even
his anger was acceptable...
Yet now,
what he needed was a child. Chandni steeled herself.
"Yes Naani.
I want him to do that."
"Chandni...
you are a woman yourself! How can you expect some other woman to be with
Chiku?... just to give him a child but Chiku incapable of loving her? Would you
as a woman accept such arrangement? Then how can you expect another woman to do
it?" Naani's voice had risen.
Naani was a
strong feminist. She would never allow disrespect of any woman. That was the
reason why she had stood firmly behind Chandni when Chiku ditched her on first
night itself. She had fought against her grandson to give Chandni her due
respect and allow her to stay with him.
"And will
such child, not coming from a loving coupling, give him peace? Or will it
torment him all his life that it is not an outcome of his love. What will that
child remind him of?" Naani's scorn poured on Chandni.
"And where's
the assurance that it's your fault that there's no baby yet? If it was
something to do with Chiku; would you then make such choice?"
"No Naani...
never! I cannot even think of anyone else but Dev!"
"Then why do
you expect him to be different? Why don't you understand his love for you?" Naani shook Chandni by her shoulders.
The mere
suggestion of being with someone else apart from Dev... Chandni could not get
air in her lungs... was this a dream? A nightmare? Her Dev had gone away. Naani
was asking her questions which she had no answers to...
"You were
the girl to fight against Sasha. You did everything to make her leave. Where have you lost that Chandni who had so
much faith in her love?
Why do you
want to be a martyr now? Learn to be selfish for your love. Want it always.
Protect it with your life.
Only then,
my Chiku will have his peace."
Chandni
stood frozen in her place. Life's blood was draining out of something
precious...very precious to her heart. What have I done? Why did I not think
from his side? No wonder he said I hurt him... Oh God! I hurt him again...I
wanted to see him happy...but everything that I do, I always end up giving him
pain.
"Naani...Naani,
I'll go and bring him back...I'll go and bring him back, naani."
"No Chandni" Naani was stern, "You shall not go anywhere...you always act on impulse. Learn
to assimilate yourself...That's what Chiku is doing. He needs his time. Alone."
"But
Naani..."
"Let.him.be!
He will return back! You take this time and think yourself...what it is that
you want from life? Are you ready to give up on your love which you almost lost
once before in life? Will that make anyone happy?"
Shikha had a
close group and was much coveted by her friends... a bindhaas badaas girl always
chatting happily!
She was
leaving college with her friends chirping constantly...Suddenly she yawned feeling very tired.
"What
happened? You were sleepy in the class as well today. You did not answer any questions from the professors as you always do." A friend asked.
"Don't ask
me, yaar! Veer, my fiance, woke me up early morning. Could not get my sleep
complete... My whole day goes bad when I don't get my sleep...and can you imagine? He says, after we go to Allahabad, I will have
to get up early everyday."
Shikha showed her unhappiness in her voice as well as
her face. The friend
stifled a laugh.
"He is right, Shikha. As you said, both you will be mahant and
mahantani in your ancestral place...it will be naturally expected of you."
Friends always tried to console her.
Mihir was
Shikha's close friend in the group. Very sincere and mature...She liked him a
lot because she found him very similar to Veer.
"Shikha...have you given it any
thought? I mean... Becoming Mahantani is a great thing in your life...We all
understood your enthusiasm when you had told us about it. But being a mahantani
will mean changing yourself completely...your badaas mannerism, your clothing
style, your food habits...you won't be this Shikha at all..." He pointed to her
up and down.
She looked
at him, her eyes suddenly confused. The nagging voice from the morning deep
down in her heart resurfacing. 'He is right. I won't be myself.'
Mihir placed
his hand on her shoulder consoling her confusion yet he could not stop telling
her the truth.
"Not only that, all this education of yours will be kind of
wasted. You won't have a progressive career. You will be limited by what
community expects of you. Have you accepted that life?"
"But My
family, my jiju and Veer are both very progressive..." Shikha protested refusing to
delve too deeply into the nagging thought.
"Agreed. But
are they allowed to speak against or go against the community, especially when
related to your ancestral temple. Won't religious beliefs and customs
predominate there?"
"Yes, that's
true, Mihir."
Shikha thought about her mother, the way she had to live, making
sure everybody was satisfied in the temple. "What can I do? Nobody can change
that."
"Yes, I
know. I am just saying so that you reflect on it and take a conscious decision.
Don't regret it later."
Shikha just
nodded. Life is not easy. I hope I don't repent later.
Edited by Loving2Missing2 - 5 years ago
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