This is not a story...with screenshot pics, these are episodes to be watched in your mind's realm. The episodes start exactly where Star Plus stopped it...read each chapter as if you're seeing the next episode with references from the show..
The thread topics are old ......... please do hit like button so I'll know you found the episode read-worthy...please be generous with your hitting like button on each chapter that you read.
I'll be the happiest if all new and old friends read my writing venture...let me know by not forgetting to
A writer needs to write always...yet the truth stands that he needs readers...become a reader, not just a viewer!
For chapter 19, 20, 21, 22, 23 scroll below. Links of chapters from 24 onwards given below.
Loving2Missing22019-04-23 13:53:03Edited by Loving2Missing2 - 7 months ago
Adni Untold Saga Continues...Lingering Moments Chapter 19
IPK3 Episode 89
The dawn had not yet reached the horizon...
From her delirium, Chandni lifted up her droopy lids and traced her husband's sexy profile...caressing his face with her loving eyes... he lay sprawled out in the bed, so content and peaceful in his sleep... her heart swelled in her chest.
He was stunning...a kind of raw male beauty...his sculpted mouth made for sin...the scar on his left lid adding to his handsomeness...
She wanted to reach out and rub her soft cheeks against bristling fuzz of his morning stubble...but she stopped herself for the fear of waking him up and just feasted on watching him.
'In daytime, he is Advay Singh Raizada for the world... as Pooja di said a name to respect, a force to reckon with... As Advay, he's the ruthless controller...controlling both his stormy surroundings and his tempest within with an iron will...but in his sleep he's the same innocent Dev that I have always loved...'
'But where is my smiling happy childhood Dev now? The pain of the loss of his parents hovers on his entire being and soaks deep in his soul... and the wrath against the cause of the pain is what inscribes Advay...in spite of all that he has now, he does not let go of the past.. ...not Naani, not Pooja, not myself,nobody can make him do that...only perhaps his own child!'
The thought struck Chandni like a thunderbolt.
'Yes,that's the real happiness for my Dev!...being able to call me Achchu ki mummy...that's the true gift of love I can give him...that's the only way to compensate all the pain that I have caused him...to bring Dev alive in Advay...'
'Oh god!...When was my last period? Have I crossed my cycle already?... it should have happened yesterday...maybe it won't happen even today...I can wait for a few days and then test it...and then tell Dev about Achchu's coming...'.
A rainbow of emotions danced in her heart...her eyes sparkled in happiness...bright smile broke on her lips...the air bustled with excitement!
Suddenly Advay pulled her close, hugging her tight to his chest, " Kya baat hai? Merikatto badi khush hai aaj?"
(What's the Matter? My Cutie pie looks very happy today?)
"No...nothing...kuchchh nahi!" I can't tell him anything yet!
"Come on now!... you have been watching me for so long...then suddenly you start smiling...something is the matter! Better tell me; otherwise I'll tickle you." There was laugh in his voice.
"Don't you dare! When I say nothing is the matter, nothing is the matter... and if there is something I'll tell you when time comes..." smiling she ruffled his hair.
"Ok then!Give me my Good morning kiss!", Advay pulled her tighter but she pushed back.
"Dhaatt! Aur kuchchh soojhata nahi kya? Don't you ever think of anything else? Always the same thing! I have lots of work to do... Naani must be awake already...I'll be late for pooja."
Happily Chandni went away for her chores...Advay allowed his eyes to close for a little longer, thoughts churning his mind.
'I have a meeting with all stakeholders today...need to explain my strategies, need to involve Miku...need to catch up with Mamaji...meghna...I have to thank her when I meet her...such sweet brave girl...how she honestly admitted without any fear that the baby was hers and I had been falsely accusing Chandni...The baby!', his eyes opened in a shock!
Chandni stood in the pooja room with hands folded and eyes closed in prayer,
'Aap Mahadev hai mere!
Dikhate nahi par saath hai mere!...
(You are my Mahadev, The Great God. I don't get to see you, but you're always with me.)
you have reunited me with my Dev...now please...please bestow this gift on me... give me my Atrangi Singh Raizada's dream...give us our Achchu!'
While putting the pooja stuff together, she hummed happily
"Voh MeraHoga, voh sapna tera hoga...
Mil julke manga Voh tera mera hoga"
(He'll be mine, he'll be yours
We jointly ask for him, so he is ours)
"Kya baathai? Aaj humaari chandu bahut khush hai..." (What's the matter? Our Chandu looks very happy Today)
Nani intervened with a broad smile on her lips...
"Pranaam Naani! Bas aise hi..."
(Morning, Grandma! Just like that)
"You were angry with Chiku yesterday...now everything OK?"
"Yes Naani! Everything perfect!...it's just your grandson, you know? I don't understand him at times... was Nanaji like that?"
"Absolutely...rather much more than Chiku! Chandni beta, let me share a secret... in logon ke gusse mein pyaar hota hai aur pyaar mein gussa!" ( Love is hidden in their anger; and in their Love, always anger)
Naani laughed heartily!Maasi came smiling in the room.
"What was baba like; only Ma knows...but Advay? Let me tell you, his love is his love and his anger will always remain his anger...and it's right, too! After what happened to him..." her voice hardened.
"Leela,tera yeh Hitler mood kum kar jara...anger is right, but it should never get out of control... Krodh is our biggest shadripu...that applies to Chiku also and you as well."
(Abate your Hitler mood a little. Anger is our biggest enemy)
"Maasi, you are like his mother... you have saved him... you have raised him...your right on him is very valid and will always remain valid...and your anger is also righteous...what happened to Maa-baba was totally incorrect." Chandni grew serious.
Advay stood in the common gallery sipping his tea...his eyes were far on the horizon lost in deep thought... a whistling Veer passed by and stopped suddenly...
"Good morning, Bhai! What happened? You look quite serious... company work bothering you?..."
"No Chiku... not company work... I was thinking of Allahabad"
"What about Allahabad? I already told you, I'll move there as junior mahant...The priests there have already accepted you as mahant...Now what's worrying you?" Veer was perplexed.
"It's not about the priests, Chiku... it's about people... people talk...My wrong step to expose Chandni as unwed mother is going to backfire on us once you go there...That matter will need to be settled very carefully before people accept her or Shikha as Mahantanis...Then there is that baby to betaken care of...", Advay was suddenly grim...lost in thoughts.
"The baby is in orphanage..." Veer hesitated, "I know it's not very right...but as Mamaji said why disturb it?..."
"Come on Miku...if not anybody else, you and I must understand what it's like to bean orphan... and it's not right at all when the child's mother is alive."
"Bhai, you have lots of love for him, don't you? But thinking so deep about the baby..." Veer looked in puzzlement.
"I am indebted to that baby, Miku! Uss bachche ka ek karj hai mujh par... if itwas not for the baby, your Bhabhi would never agree to marry me...I blackmailed her about exposing the baby secret."
"Bhai, if you want myself and Shikha can adopt the baby, once we are married."
"Your marriage is still far, Miku... the need to clarify the baby's association with Chandni is imminent."
"Then why don't you and Bhabhi adopt him?" Miku spoke excitedly.
"It's a possibility, yes! But not the best option...because it's not right for Meghna...she will see the child everyday, yet the child will not call her Ma'...it will be daily suffering for her which she does not deserve...and someday, when the child comes to know about his birth, it will be his suffering which he does not deserve."
"But then...what's the option, bhai? This is not London...an unwed mother is taboo in society today also...they both will never be accepted or respected in Allahabad...what do we do?...should we have Meghna settled in England with the baby?" Veer was quizzical.
Advay sighed heavily, "yes, that could be an option Miku...but we must not rush upon that...my worry is whether such a huge change management Meghna will be able to handle or not...she is young...never stayed alone in life, never ever even remotely connected with culture abroad... and then motherhood...that too as a single parent... life will not be easy for her..."
Veer nodded his agreement, "you are right, Bhai... maybe we keep all options open and then act the way life plays us...Abhi toh bhook lagi hai..I am hungry. shall we go for breakfast?"
Advay smiled at his bro, "Tu toh hamesha ka bhukkad hai...(You are always Voarcious)
You have a stomach or some big valley there?..."Advay pointed to Veer's belly. Both laughed heartily.
The Raizadamansion buzzed every morning with the happy breakfast time of the familytogether...Chandni bustled around happily serving everybody at the table...
"Your transfer of ownership completed, Advay?"Maasi asked happily.
"Transfer of ownership??" Chandni jerked suddenly... her face clouded with worry,concern.
"Arre Chandni, don't panic... Bhaiyya has divided the company in three parts...One unit for Miku, one unit comes to me." Pooja consoled.
"Oh! Was it why there were so many photographers present yesterday when we went out?" Chandni asked Advay.
"Yes Chandni! The company is currently in big news... I will be tied up the whole day, don't wait up for me..."
Advay turned to his bro, "Miku, you must come with me for stakeholder's meet."
Veer nodded munching food in his overstuffed mouth.
"That's nice...the company will remain between the three siblings."Chandni smiled.
"Chandni, bhaiyya doesn't get anything. The third part comes to you...you signed the document yesterday, don't you remember?"Pooja looked at Chandni in astonishment.
"Me? Why me? ...And what comes to him then?"Chandni was baffled.
"Oh Chandni! Don't be filmy...It's Advay's strategy...his way to diversify...it will be group of companies now... and knowing my Advay,he'll add something very new, very trendy from his side to this group...after all he has to go beyond the skies... Aasman ke paar jaana hai"Maasi smiled at Advay.
"When you finish your breakfast, come up to the room... I'll keep your stuff ready."Chandni smiled at Advay and left from there.
"Jaa beta,beewi bula rahi hai."Naani teased Advay.(Go, Your wife is calling you)
Advay smiled dabbing his lips with napkin. "Pooja, I want you also to come at least for little while in stakeholder's meet... you must start getting involved along with Miku...you both can learn together."
"No bhaiyya... I don't understand a thing in the company matters... na baba na!"Pooja was in complete denial.
"No Pooja... Chiku is right... myself and your Ma will take care of Adi...he is growing up now and is busy in his school activities the whole day... you must start engaging yourself slowly in something productive...Chiku is not asking you to start work immediately... But as he says there is no harm in getting involved and start understanding the matters...you must not restrict yourself to home just because you're a woman... Times are changing...so must we."Naani was serious.
"Haan Mummi... you must do as CM says... then you'll have better things to do than be after me the whole day..."Adi raised his brows.
"Chup kar Shaitaan! You just want your mother to be away so you can do your mind's freewill."Pooja scolded.
"No Pooja,Ma is right... Start going to the office... You will start learning...There's nothing to fear... you have your brother's full support."Maasi advised.
"Chalo...Have a good day, everybody!...I'll take your leave now."Advay got up from his seat.
" Haanhaan... jaao jaao... beewi ne bulaya hai!"(Wife has been calling)
Pooja teased and everybody laughed.
Chandni stood at the window her face serious yet vulnerable...Her profile looking incredibly fragile... Advay's blood hummed in response and he slided his arms around her hugging her from behind...Out of its own volition, Chandni's body leaned against him relaxing involuntarily.
"What's the matter, Chandu?"
"Dev...why are you doing this? You know very well that you and I are not separate...then what would have been the harm to keep the company in your name? As such, you handle the company completely...why keep my name?"
"Ohhh Chandu"Advay chided lovingly, "When you know that you and I are one then why resist keeping your name? Kal ko mujhe kuchchh ho gaya toh?"(If something happens to me then?)
He teased but Chandni's eyes widened in shock and she kept her hand on his mouth.
"If something happens to you ever, I shall not remain either...remember that always!"her tone was serious. Advay raised his hands in resignation.
"Ok...Ok...Nothing is happening to me... don't take it seriously... but one thing you must take seriously, Chandu... you must have signed the document without reading yesterday...don't ever do that.." Advay's tone was serious.
"Miku had brought me the document."Defended chandni.
"Doesn't matter... whenever you sign, read the document beforehand... Always Chandu Always!"
"Ok Ok...now don't get serious about that...as such you never discuss these matters with me beforehand,"Chandni's tone was complaining.
"boring office stuff... not worth our precious time...you have to learn to just trust me in these matters."Dev hugged her tight but his face was serious.
"Ok baba... now keep your mood good... you have lots to do in office today..."
"You know how my mood will get better."
Cupping her shoulders, Dev slowly turned heraround to face him. He looked at her with warm eyes, pulling her closer into his side to drop a tender kiss on her forehead... he lifted his hands from her shoulder and cupped her face seductively caressing her cheeks with his thumbs...the whole morning he had to battle to control himself...not to give in to the urge to ravish her lips.
Even after having experienced his touch almost every day, Chandni's heart fluttered and her legs grew weak...'Will this fluttering never stop?' she leaned closer to him.
"How?"She asked breathlessly just as their lips met in a carnal answer, in a deep kiss with tongues tangling together and dancing happily.
What happens next? Is Advay being able to formulate his strategy step by step for being official Allahabad Mahant?
Does Chandu give Dev her happy news or another twist in the story?
The Baby was just thrown on our face from thin air during the show. I am trying my very best to put some sense into it. A baby is not a veggie to stuff someplace and forget all about it; it's a life! And Advay would always care for a life however cynic life made him. That was proven when he saved a puppy from the pool in first shot. What will he do now?
Don't forget to hit like button...the more likes... the faster next episode
The beautiful Song of a mother's dream. Here the original with the Great Dev Anand in Bollywood superhit of 70's Era Tere Mere Sapne.Edited by Loving2Missing2 - 9 months ago
IPK3 Saga Continues...Lingering Moments Chapter 20
Advay's car was approaching the gate of Raizada mansion...The evening had grown dark...the world getting ready to sleep...Advay looked tired...ready to hit the bed but he knew, it wouldn't be soon...His telco was still on...
"Mamaji, what are you trying to say... we have been looking forward to this Europe trip...Meghna would have enjoyed it!"
"Nahi Beta! As I explained you, her mind is completely changed now...and this is new happiness in her life...I don't want to hinder it...I am very happy for her...for so long the girl has suffered in so many ways...almost similar to how my banno had suffered earlier before you married her...now Banno is happy in her life, Shikha has found her soulmate...Meghu also deserves it."
"I agree Mamaji... I agree completely... but this man?"
"Beta, he's changed... he's a different person now than what we knew before... he comes almost every day here...I see both of them...I speak to him...yet, I could be wrong...you are our trusted head now...I know you are very busy..company matters, your own family matters and further this...I know I am troubling you..."
"Don't ever say that, Mamaji" exclaimed Advay. Then his eyes focused far and his demeanour grew quiet, "I respect you hugely, Mamaji. When nobody else was ready, you volunteered in my marriage to tie Chandni's gathbandhan with me...You have always been a father figure in her life...when things were not sorted out between me and Chandni even after our marriage, your sister had given up on her but you didn't... you were always Chandni's support."
"Don't call that woman my sister, Dev beta...it feels like a bad word now...How many times I tried dissuading her from her vile deeds...how many times I tried cautioning Banno about her...but Banno was blind in her trust."
"That's true Mamaji...The mistakes which happened from Chandni were due to her naivety...even now she is so gullible...she trusts everything blindly."
Mamaji smiled, "She will always be like that, beta...I am not worried for her now because you and your family take full care of hers. I am worried for Meghna. I cannot trust anybody else other than you, beta...could you come and check him out?...if there's any wrong in his intention, we must discourage Meghna immediately before things get out of hand."
"Yes Mamaji... I agree...I'll let you know when I can come over."
Advay climbed the steps of his home fast... his face smiling in happy expectation of Chandni's loving arms... "Chaaandni!"he called out from the door expecting his swagwaali katto to come and greet him...
One look at her and his expression changed instantly...an immediate sense of panic gripping his heart...she looked dejected...devastated...lonely...lost...immeasurable pain in her entire being...he had lately never seen her like this...
"Chandooo? he gasped... She raised her eyes to him momentarily...anguish riddling her face...all the air felt punched out from his lungs... something was terribly wrong...he couldn't fathom what exactly ...he just knew there was something...Disastrous...he felt a punch to his guts leaving him just speechless...
"Your food is ready on the table...Pooja and Miku are there...please eat" She pleaded, her voice scratchy with pain.
"You?" the word left his mouth in a near whisper, wondering, instantly feeling her hurt... almost! He leaned forward wanting to hold her, hug her, comfort the pain... She side stepped him.
"I'll wait in our room." She voice barely audible like there was tennis ball sized lump in her throat, fighting back a barrage of tears that started pooling in her eyes, she turned her face away and hurried to their room...yet, he saw it!...the distress splashed across her face twisting an ice spear through his heart...
"Chandniii..." he called out in desperation. He wanted to physically stop her, go after her but something stopped him...a rare sense of trepidation!
Feeling dangerously unmoored, as if he was plummeting down a steep cliff with nothing to hold onto..., he rushed to dining table "Pooja, What happened to Chandni?"
"Bhaiyya, She is not feeling well... She did mention it....but somehow she looked pretty depressed ...I was in the office, so I didn't know...I asked her what the matter was but she just left... Come, sit and have your food."
" No!" Advay dashed in Chandni's direction almost colliding with Murli but ignoring completely.
Advay paused and pulled a deep breath in, just outside the door, calming his nerves to handle new demons inside...
'Maybe all my past girls had made her sad again...Naani said she would need time...I will deal with it'...
He gently pushed open the door...The air was poignant inside the room...gloom soaked deep in...Chandni was at the window her gaze fixed on far horizon... her eyes shimmery with the deluge of pain in her heart... she looked anguished ...beautiful...
"Chandni" he whispered.
Chandni turned...a disturbing determination on her face...a wave of uneasiness rolled over Advay as million thoughts invaded his mind.
"If I ask something from you, you'll give me... right, Dev?"
A heavy breath gushed out from Advay...he realised he had been holding it till now...
"Of Course, Chandni!...Anything...just anything you want."
"Promise me, Dev." Chandni held out her palm.
Relief was fleeting...something was terribly wrong here...something indefinable but terribly wrong!
"Why do you need a promise? You trust me, right? Then why bring a pledge or oath between us?" Advay's unease was clear in his voice.
"For my sake, please marry Sasha or any girl you liked in the past...pleaaase...please do this for me."
Chandni spoke fast, words ripping from her heart...her eyes begging...her voice beseeching.
Advay stilled, and very slowly, all colour drained from his face. 'It's about my past...but why is she taking such extreme?'
He moved towards her...wanting to reach out...desperately needing to appease her mood...all his love in voice, he called out, "Chaaandniii...??"
Chandni stepped back...fighting the instinct to let him swathe her...her gaze fell to the floor...she'd cave in...fall apart if she looked in his eyes.
"I will never be able to give you a child...your dream...your deepest desire...this family and haveli's need...my past trauma was not just emotional, the physical impact has left me barren."
Her voice broke...Advay lunged but Chandni stopped him with outstretched palm.
Advay was confused, what's that? Then shock began to seep in along with a knock out confusion...
'what is she saying?'
"I got my periods today...I should have been pregnant by now but I am not... I will never be...all our nights gone to vain..." her voice faltered again.
Advay's shock started to simmer into anger as everything started clicking into place. He closed his eyes trying to contain his temper and losing the battle.
"Chandni, are you gone out of your mind...this is just one time...we must wait!"
Something inside Advay struggling terribly to cope.
"Nahi Dev...I have been thinking the whole day...hope is a sad thing...it only brings hurt in the end..."
Chandni was in complete denial...a force in her voice...her face contorting...and with that his heart in anger!
Anger mixed with intense pain, almost injury, gathered in his eyes.
Rile in his eyes, his equilibrium waned completely and he lunged forward holding Chandni in a desperate grip and hissing through gritted teeth, his voice with an almost metallic knife like feel to it,
"So, you want me to marry someone to get a child? And you decided this all on your own? This is the only solution you think of?"
Fire and hurt combating for turf in her eyes, "Why not?...You need a child...the family needs a junior Mahant...it's been tradition to marry again...My baba had remarried, then why can't you??... Rather, the earlier the better!"
Her words ripped through him, world crashed around him... A never before like pain in his heart...excruciating and way beyond fixable...
"Main Tumhari kismat hoon Chandni! I am your fate! Apni kismet se bhaga nahi karate...told you before also!"
(never try to run from destiny)
Advay seethed...the pain was cutting...like almost a mortal blow...There was blood everywhere.
"Aapne yeh bhi kaha tha ki maine aap ki jindagi barbaad kar dee...and it's true...I have destroyed your life already...not any further...I won't allow it!"
(You had also said that I destroyed your life)
Her eyes seemed to bore into him, pained, angry yet entreating.
A layered cascade of voices raced through his mind...all their heated discussions much earlier... building up torment in his heart, the sense of impending doom. His lips pursed, his nostrils flared, his grip tightened on her arms hurting her...
All sorts of emotions he was trying hard to control but they would not listen...an inferno began within.
"YOU ARE MY LIFE! Reason for my very existence...either in hate or in love, it's been you, you and YOU only! The rest are all just extensions...additions when you and I are together as one."
His tense taut body seemed to want to hurtle into her... and she stood stunned... a tense exchange...
The same emotion called love drowning two people!
"I love you, too Dev! I want you to have full complete life...if not with me then with someone else."
She defied, holding onto her last hope to make him see her reason.
"There cannot ever be anyone else...I can't touch another woman...forget fathering a child...by even mentioning this, you have hurt me, Chandni!"
Words ripped through him...exposing his bleeding heart...
"You think like this again and you'll truly lose me."
He hurled her away and started walking out...flight in full rage same as the one when he had left her angrily in childhood. The same ancient anger finding its territory back inside him...struggling to find expression...perhaps also an expunging...
Chandni remembered that fateful night when she had naively asked him about his mother being a witch...
Her heart felt ripped out, trampled on and shoved back into her chest ...a battered mess.
With his words and his every step away...putting distance between them... Becoming empty space...She felt somewhere between grief and devastation...
The most painful thing as she had experienced then! Her life had fallen apart then!
Suddenly, she felt empty, battered, lonely and lost. The only person that could make any of this better was the person who made it all happen. 'I am never ever going to recover from this.'
"Dev, please don't leave like this... please don't go away...mujhse Galati ho gayee." pleaded Chandni desperately trying to stop him.
(it was my mistake)
Winds raced through the window and howled, an omen in them, a feeling of all hell breaking loose. In the tightly packed pain in his eyes was the message of a world ending.
"Yeh Galati nahi, Chandni...Gunah hai! (This is not a mistake, it's a CRIME)
hissed Advay...His tone arctic but scalding angry scorn emanating from his eyes...
Rage...Advay's friend as well as his foe, his all time mate...right from that day from hell ...when his parents were torn from him, suddenly and terribly...his world was burnt away along with his mother...Little Dev had survived that calamity only with rage inside...Advay needed that same rage again when once again as his newly formed world was burning!!... At the hands of the same girl...the same girl whom he loved the most in the world!
What happens next between the two souls absolutely, totally, completely in love?
Love is never easy...Ek Aag ka dariya hai, bas doob ke jana hai (It's the sea of fire and you need to immerse yourself in it)
Will the lovers survive?
Don't forget to hit like button...it's your way of bookmarking in IF whatever you readEdited by Loving2Missing2 - 9 months ago
Trials Of Fire!! Adni Untold Saga Chapter 21
IPK3 Season 1 Episode 91
"Yeh Galati nahi, Chandni...Gunah hai!...it's not a mistake...it's a crime."
Advay's words reverberated in Chandni's ears...Every aching muscle gave way, including her heart, and she collapsed to the floor in a heap.
"Devvv" She sobbed uncontrollably "Aise mat jao... Don't leave like this...not again..."
A frantic desperate justification laced with anger ripped from her heart, "Tum meri jagaha hote toh tum kya karate?"(What would you do in my place?)
Dev halted...stunned... without moving, without talking he just watched her... Her question innocent but timeless...a sudden ice dagger getting twisted into his heart...piercing deep... the pain so very lethal.
A palpable, dense, tense moment between lovers...both just saying I love you so much...in the middle of all the nasty words.
Chandni was bordering on hysteria...she grabbed Advay's legs not letting him go...her sobs choking her breath... pulling her into the turmoil of love.
Pulled by an unknown force, Advay gathered her up and embraced her. She was the most precious thing life had given him..more important than his hurt...his rage...
She was vaguely aware of arms wrapped around her, rocking her back and forth...arms that were always meant to comfort but comfort wouldn't come...not unless he had forgiven her for her once again naivety.
"Chandni...Chandni" Advay tried pulling her out of her hysteria...he enfolded her with his arms and walked to the bed... With utmost care, he laid her down...
She was frantic, refusing to lie down...refusing to leave him, she clutched him hard...her trauma returning back to hound her...he could not lose her...not even in his rage...
"Chandni...shaant!...Chandni...shaant!(calm down) Somehow he managed to make her lie down...but she held on to his lapels as if her life depended on it.
"Don't go Dev...Don't leave me again...everything will burn...like last time...don't... don't Dev...what could I do?...you tell me, what would you do?"
"I am here Chandni, right here with you...look at me!"
"Everything will burn...you should burn me...I deserve it...Maine tumhari jindagi barbaad kar dee...".(I destroyed your life completely)
"Shut up Chandni...just shut up!" He simply couldn't handle it...a million memories hounding both... the trauma killing both...
Fast, he pulled out his sleeping pills from bedside drawer... pushed them through her mouth and then made her drink water.
"Why does this happen to us, why Dev? I want Dev back... my young Dev back..."She clenched her fists...her teeth.
"Chandni, I am here...look, I am right here...with you...Shaant Chandni!" he softly patted her head...
There was chaos inside... there was raging storm inside...Yet, he wanted this moment...he and his love in each other...connected!
Her trauma took over her in delirium... disturbing her in fitful sleep.
"Tum jaante ho na, Dev...Main sab sah sakati hoon...lekin tumhari aakhon mein mere liye naarajagi nahi..."(You know, right?...I can bear everything but I can't bear indignation in your eyes against me)
He sighed deeply watching her...all her memories cascading in his brain...the air pulsed with his throbbing heart... the whole room knew what he felt.
Tujh se naaraj nahin...jindagi ... hairaan hoon main...hairaan hoon main
Tere masoom savaalonse pareshaan hoon main...
(I am not angry with you, Life
Simply baffled, By your innocent questions)
He continued patting her head; his mind lost in all her happy memories with him.
Jeene ke liye... socha hi nahi...dard sambhaalane honge
Muskuraaye toh...muskuraane ke karje utaarane honge
Softly , he removed his palm from under her head and walked to the window, a distracted air around him.
Jeene keliye... socha hi nahi...dard sambhaalane honge
Muskuraaye toh...muskuraane ke karje utaarane honge
Muskuraao kabhi...toh lagata hai...jaise hothon pe karj rakkha hai
(I never thought that in order to live
I would need to hold on to pain
Never thought life would extract
A price for every smile
Now whenever I smile
It feels like these lips are pursed in debt)
Her question hounded at his heart...he knew she was not right...he should not listen to her...yet a part within him rebellious with the rational , articulate him...a struggle to acknowledge and submit to that deep seeded fear...
'Yes, it could be me!'
An entire life's helplessness trapped in a tiny spec of time.
'I have taken a huge physical blow in childhood...I don't have one kidney...maybe, it's meresponsible for her not being pregnant yet!'
'So what? ...'anger flooded his eyes... 'nahi hai toh nahi hai...what difference does it make?'
Suddenly in his heart...the memory of her with the young crying baby... She called herself 'Maa'...she wants Adi to think of her as Ma...a woman finding fulfilment of her identity in becoming a mother...
'it makes a huge difference...bloody hell, huge difference!'
'So we'll wait... we'll see...if it doesn't happen,there are medical treatments...' his articulate brain argued.
'and after all those treatments, if we still face failure... then what?...like she says...hope gives hurt in the end.' his heart screamed, 'can I make her face that hurt someday?'
Tormented Advay turned away from the window...his eyes flowing to her face...finally some peace on it due to drug induced sleep...his heart swelled in love...a feeling so tender in his heart...his feet pulled towards the bed wanting to join her... by her side...his dream place.
'What would you do if you were in my place? ...Aap meri jagah hote toh aap kya karate?'
Her question plagued his mind again...halting him...ripping him apart...
'what would I do?...rather, What will I do?...if it's me, do I expect her to sacrifice her maternal urge?...or do I allow her to fulfil it with another man...Chandni with another man?'...
The thought bit him like a snake...spreading poison in his veins...hitting his jugular!
All his anger, his jealousy earlier by simply seeing her with PP flew back in his mind...how he hated every moment he witnessed...however simple, however platonic it had been.
'Nooo...Ican't... I can't...'
Total loss of control as his heart and his brain both refused to reason.
'Does she expect me to...am I supposed to...if my love is true, I should let her go as she's letting me...but how can she? Is it that easy for her...just like that?...'
'That Chandni who fought with her life to throw Sasha out of my life...today that same Chandni asks me to father a child with Sasha?'
A layered cascade of thoughts invading his mind...building torment as he struggled with this treachery of life!
'Once Hurt was your Gift to me Chandni...I had said to you,
Dard tumharaTohfa hai aur main tumhara har tohfa sambhalke rakhata hoon..'(Pain is your gift to me and I cherish each gift of yours)
Even today,it's the same, Today this gift of hurt, I'll keep with me for life time!
He couldn't look at her...he couldn't breathe in the same room...pain bludgeoning in his heart, he left the room. The halls were quiet...eeriness surrounding...an impending doom!
He slid down as something started dying in his heart... 'Chandni...Chandni...'howled his heart... all her memories, all her images
Jhootha jagrain basera
Saancha dard mera
Mrig-trishnasa moh piya
(This world, night and dwelling is false My pain is the truth Our relation is like a mirage)
Naina.. josaanjhe khwab dekhte the
Naina..bichad ke aaj ro diye hain yun
(Eyes which used to share the same dreams, Those eyes are crying on being separated )
Naina.. jomilke raat jaagte the
Naina.. seharmein palken meechte hain yun
Eyes which used to stay awake together at night, Those eyes close their eyelids in the morning
Mann pareshaan hai
Ho rahi si kyun ruaansa ye meri jaan hai
(Breath is bewildered, Heart is tensed Why is my soul growing frail?)
Kyun nirashase hai
Aas haari huyi
Kyun sawaalon ka utha sa
Dil mein toofaan hai
(Why has hope lost to despair? Why is there a storm of questions in my heart?)
Bheegenaina.. jo khidkhiyon se jhankte the
Naina.. ghutan mein aaj band ho gaye hai yun
(eyes wet...Once they peeked from the windows, but today they are closed in suffocation)
'Why us? As she says, why us? Why me? Haven't I lost enough already?' Questions and questions ...just questions!'
He could not breathe...he needed fresh air...as if pulled by a magnet, he left the house.
His mind waging war against his own...gone away was the earlier collapsed Advay denying vehemently, I can't do this...
But his marriage vows made him her protector...it was his duty to fight her wars, not ask questions, never give up...
And then in his heart, he picked up his trident and took aim...piercing his own heart...such was the tyranny of time slaughtering him again!
'She cannot lose...I am her warrior, her protector...I laid my hand under her foot once, now I'll lay my heart on her path..'
I lost before...I'll lose once again...I already lost maa-baba...' a whimper left his throat ...
she wants Dev back...where? Where is that Dev without his maa-baba'
Memories of his maa-baba swam in front of his tearful eyes...his maa's pallu...his heart held onto it...he let his insides roar out against it all... the injustice, the pain...
He drove...away from the girl he loved as his own...the one whose images wouldn't go away from his mind...he drove towards his dark past...seeking the comfort of his parent's memories in Allahabad.
Yes! He would need to convey her about his departure... I'll call Naani early morning first thing...she'll understand...till then, I'll just drive...because I can't drive my life, I'll drive a lifeless machine' He drove into oblivion of darkness.
Chal, chal ve tu bandeya uss galiye
Jahaan koi kisi ko na jaane
Chal, chal ve tu bandeya uss galiye
Jahaan koi kisi ko na jaane
Kya rehna wahaan par sun bandeya
Jahaan apne hi na pehchaane
come to that street, O man,
where no one knows anyone.
because what's the point of living in a place
where your own people don't recognize you.
Reh gaye hain jo tujhme
Mere lamhe lauta de
Meri aankhon mein aake
Mujhe thoda rula de...
return me the moments
which have remained in you.
come to my eyes
and make me cry a little.
Chal, chal ve tu bandeya uss galiye
Jahaan koi kisi ko na jaane, hmm...
Khwab jo huey hain khandar
Khwab hi nahi thhe
Ik neend thi neem si... haaye
Kho diya hai tune jisko
Tera hi nahi tha
Ik haar thi jeet si...
the dreams which have become ruins,
were never dreams.
it was a half-sleep...
the one you have lost
was never yours.
it was just a loss, that felt like a victory.
What happens next when one wants to go to future and the other one walks towards the past?
What happens when Chandni wakes up alone? What does Advay do in Allahabad.
Will the lovers survive?
Don't miss the beauty of the songs used. While Barun would ace in expressing the sentiments, Naseeruddin shah and Aamir khan do a fantabulous act.
Arijit Singh his god gifted voice and diligence come together and bring depth to simple lyrics. That depth could be emoted by one and only Barun!Edited by Loving2Missing2 - 4 months ago
"Laa...lalaa...lalaaa" Pooja hummed softly, a happy smile lighting up her face as she finished pooja preparations.
'Feels so good in heart to do these things...only problem is getting up too early...If I didn't relish losing myself in slumberland in early mornings; I would never ever offload this task to Chandni.' Smiling to herself, Pooja noticed Naani walking in pooja room.
"Good Morning, Naani!" chirped Pooja, "See? I have done the preparations exact as I did in London all these years, haven't I?"
"Yes beta..."Naani was lost in thoughts... her brow creased in frown...her eyes desolated...
"Should I keep the Shankh(konch shell) on right like Chandni or is it OK on left?" Pooja was reveling in her work but noticed Naani's listlessness.
Pooja brow creased in a frown.She stared at Naani.
"I'll take Adi out from this school and send him to boarding."
"Naaani!"yelped Pooja, "where are you lost? Are you paying any attention to me at all?"
Naani did not respond...Her look worried Pooja.
"Naani...What's the matter?...tell me fast...I am getting worried now."
"Haan?...No no!... Nothing is the matter...Don't worry." Naani corrected but her voice had no conviction. Anxiety was written all over her face. She thought back about her call with Chiku.
Advay had been driving incessantly...His rage taken out on the accelerator...Impotent, futile rage that eased nothing...found no recourse...just exhausted him completely...Towards the morning, the all consuming rage driving him started dousing out...
He hadn't drunk even a drop of water since last evening...The dull pain giving him sign of kidney trouble start was already there...Throat parched out, he stopped his car as a Dhaba fell in his sight... 'I need water...Allahabad is still far away. I need to call Naani, too.'
"Chiku beta, why are you calling me within home itself...that too this early?"
"I am not at home, Naani. I called to update you the same...I had to come away to Allahabad urgently...Mamaji needs me to decide about Meghna... "Advay went out to explain all his convo with Mamaji to Naani.
"What's the matter, Chiku? What has happened?"
The agony surging inside Advay so overwhelming that he needed a moment to close his eyes and manage his composure.
"Don't lie to me...I'll give you a flying thappad from here...Have you had a fight with Chandni?"
"Naani aapko humesha bina dekhe sab kaise pata chalata hai? "(How do you know every time without seeing?)
"Haven't I told you already? Tu mere dil ki dhadkan hai!I know you inside out. Tell me Chiku, what happened?"
"Nothing Naani...just something small...but you are the first one to sense it...Always!...When you came first time from London;..."
The memory of Chandni putting nails in his path hit him. Agony lanced through him, making his voice acerbic.
"Tab bhi Chandni ne Dard ka tohfa diya tha aur aap maraham lagaane aaye the. (Chandni gifted me with pain and you came to heal)...Today again you want to soothe me ..."
"Women are like that, Chiku...it's not easy to understand a woman, even when she is your own wife."
"True Naani...As it's said, we men are from Mars and women are from Venus." Advay laughed bitterly.
"Maybe Chiku...but I look at it differently...Women look from another plateau of emotion, Men view from glasses of rationality...So conflicts are bound to arise...as a couple, it's all about getting the other's perspective and keeping your home planet in balance...remember that, always!"
"Naani, life does not give all answers to you easily, does it?"
"Answers will lie within you, Chiku. View life in a way that the answers can be found easily..."
Duniya mein kissi ko mukammal jahaan nahi milata
Kabhi jameen nahi milati, kabhi aasmaan nahi milata"
(No one ever gets the complete universe
Somewhere the earth and somewhere the sky is missing)
"Chikuuu..." naani was worried.
"Don't worry Naani. I'll make everything alright. Main sab theek kar doonga...Naani, Chandni is not feeling well, would you please make her rest today? I left in a hurry and could not tell her about my allahabad trip either, you please update her when she gets up...I won't get time to call during the day...I'll be busy."
In his heart Advay knew that he could not face Chandni, yet. He needed time to assimilate himself and find the right answers. Naani knew it, too. She did not poach him any further.
"Yes Chiku, I'll do that. You take care, Beta."
Next call he dialed to his bro, family's next caretaker after him.
His words kept reverberating in Naani's ears...Chandni's gift to me is always hurt and pain...What might have happened this time to make him so desolate?
"Naani, you are not sharing what's on your mind. Is it something about Bhaiyya?" Pooja persisted in her questioning.
"Yes Pooja, he left for Allahabad in the night..."
"Allahabad? Suddenly?... I spoke with him last night...he was worried over Chandni...for that matter, I found Chandni very sad...couldn't fathom why?...It's just normal monthly process for us; why despair so much over it?"
Naani was startled...her wisdom gave her a hunch...but she couldn't be sure.
Miku entered yawning wide..., "Naani, Bhai had called. He's gone to Allahabad. So he wants me to take care of the family."
"You first take care of yourself , Miku! Why are you in Pooja room without bathing?"criticized Naani. Miku shrugged.
"Don't shrug so, Miku! Once you're officially mahant(main priest)...these things are important." Pooja warned...her voice fake stern...her smiling eyes giving her away.
"Did Chiku share anything with you, Miku?" Naani queried.
"No...I mean" Naani hesitated, not knowing how to ask him,"He sometimes shares his thoughts with you...did he say anything today?"
"Not today... but yesterday, he was worried about the baby...He was wondering how to ensure that the baby suffers no injustice whatsoever."
"Has Bhaiyya gone to Allahabad urgently for the baby matter?" wondered Pooja.
Some pieces of the puzzle were falling in place; yet Naani was not clear about Chiku's agony.
"Maybe!... As such he has lots on his plate today, he said...He'll be meeting Mamaji, discussing about Meghna's future. He is also going to meet up with priest community there...Also, important authorities of the Temple...The new system will have to be put on the table before I go there as Junior Mahant."
Naani nodded, jerking away her earlier thoughts and her gloom.
"What Pooja says is true...Your frivolity will hinder your acceptance as mahant in Allahabad, Chiku!"
"I am trying Naani" Miku hugged her lovingly.
"Not just you, Miku, even Shikha has to mold her ways. I love doing the Pooja preparations; but frankly, Shikha must also practice this every morning. It will be helpful for her later." Pooja spoke her thoughts aloud.
"That's true Didi. Don't worry, I'll tell her. I'll make everything alright."
"Both Chiku and you say that; but both you make me worry. Things are hardly ever right in your worlds."Naani shook her head in despair... "Chiku could have gone in the morning to Allahabad. Leaving at night in sudden hurry like this upsets me."
"Oh Naani! That's because you love him so much..."Miku cupped Naani's cheeks.
"Voh mere dil ki dhadkan hai, usse dekhu nahi toh bhi sunkar pehachanati hoon!"(He's my beating heart. Even when I don't see him, I can recognise him by listening)
"Aur Main?" (And me?)
"Tu meri saas hai, Miku "(You're my breath)
"OK Naani, don't forget you have a granddaughter as well. What about me?"Pooja hugged Naani from behind.
"You are my happiness, Pooja. You have made life worthwhile by just your birth Naani smiled...but the smile faded fast, "Somehow, we could not ensure your happiness...we all failed, me, Leela, Chiku...We couldn't find you a good life partner."
"Oh Naani. I am perfectly happy... I have all of you, I don't need anybody else...Stop worrying about me...There comes Ma... Come, let's do Pooja. Miku, please finish your bath and come for prasaad at least."
"Where's Chandni? She didn't come?" Leela queried entering Pooja room.
"Good morning!" chirped Miku and Pooja happily in unison...Miku left the room.
"Chandni has her monthly cycle, she won't come.",informed Pooja.
"Oh! But she gets up and goes in kitchen everyday...she's not there either."
"She's not feeling well. Chiku instructed specifically not to disturb her. She needs to rest." informed Naani.
"Where's Advay?...on terrace in his calls?"
"No Maa, Bhaiyya is gone to Allahabad."
"What??? ...what's happening in the house?? Nobody tells me anything anymore."
"Leela!"chided Naani, "Don't make everything about yourself. He did not tell anybody. He left in the night suddenly in hurry...poor child of mine, driving all alone."Sighed Naani.
"Oh! Why did he do that? He should have taken a driver...It's such a long drive...it will exhaust him completely...What these children do nowadays?"
"Who can say anything to Bhaiyya? You know, he left from London also without telling anybody. Thank God he had taken Murli along. Murli kept updating us."
"Advay always makes us worry like this. At least now, he should think about Chandni and mend his ways."
'Maybe this time Chandni is the cause of his sudden erratic way!' thought Naani silently, a deep sigh escaping her lips.
Life doesn't make answers easy, does it? Will Advay find his answers?
Is Naani getting some premonition that things are not right in both her grandsons' life?
Will shikha's transition to Mahantani's role be smooth?
Will the pain about Pooja's failed marriage be always there?
Will Advay kick start the process of Leela Maasi's revenge in Allahabad?
Keep watching the episodes to find out what happens next. Gift me with like hit after reading... It's christmas time
IPK3 Saga continued...Lingering moments- Chapter 23
Chandni jerked up from her delirium. The room was lighted up with late morning sun; but bereft of warmth of Dev's presence, suddenly leaving her cold.
His wrath last night came rushing back in her heart...'You have hurt me!'... Her heart pounded in her head...his harsh anger burning her soul.
'He is gone; but surely, he must have left notes for me...he always does.'
In desperate hope, she threw away her blanket and rushed to the bathroom...nothing!... Frantic, she dashed to the wardrobe, yet nothing!
Loneliness hit her with a force of hurricane!
'He's angry and he won't forgive me so easily...I wanted him to have all the happiness in the world...if not from me; then from somebody else, whoever makes him complete...I never ever expected this outburst of anger from him...What does he expect me to do?'
In a mad hope for reconciliation, she dialed up his number; but his mobile was switched off. Feeling completely empty inside, she crumpled to the floor, heavy sobs raking her body...
Veer pounded loud on Shikha's door ...no response, "Oh Shikha... Ohhh meri raani...Uth jao raani..."
Veer stumbled as the door was yanked open by an irate Shikha, "What's going on? Why are you blasting off my door early morning?"
Veer took in her disheveled sleepy state and without a word, with a content smile, he circled his arms around her clasping her in his possessive embrace, placing a good morning kiss, currently restricted to a light peck on top of her head.
"Oh my darling Shikha, early morning is past two hours now!I know you love your beauty sleep; but you are beautiful enough now... So get going, Girl!"
Wiggling hard to shove him away, she growled, "Who has given you the right to disturb my sleep? Till date, not even my mother or Chandni jiji dared to wake me up before my time. Tum koun se laat sahaab ho?" her voice pitched low over the last words to avoid anyone else overhearing.
"Laat Sahaab?? I like that name...may be better, Lord Governor! I don't mind you calling me that instead of your earlier petite "Aji sunte ho...doesn't suit you so well... Laat Sahaab is better!"
He was teasing her; his face radiant with his happiest smile, almost boyish...
"And Shikha darling, getting up early is going to be your prime duty very soon...so better practice from now itself."
"I absolutely hate waking up early." Shikha whined her lips pursed tight.
"Things that we hate most in life, life requires us to do those most!" Veer shrugged.
A nagging voice at the back of her head warned her. 'He is perhaps right. Life would change completely very soon. But I won't concede easily.'
"I don't care. I need my sleep, that's it! "Her voice pitched high, her eyes defiant.
Veer was taken aback with her suddenly hostile demeanor.
"Ok Dear! Accepted...We'll work around it. For the time being, now that you are woken up, why don't you freshen up and go to kitchen?"
She wrinkled her nose and reluctantly gave in.
She went inside to finish her chores and Veer turned back whistling softly to himself.
Advay entered the Dhaba...An old man, perhaps the owner approached him immediately,
"Come in, Beta. Take a seat."
"May I get some water?"
"Yes of course. I'll get you Gur-Paani (Jaggery and water)."
"No...No! May I get a bottle of water...I mean mineral water."
"Beta, you look tired. You must have come a long way. We do have a bottle but it's a month old... I can give you fresh spring water that we keep in Matka(pot)...It's cold enough and also very refreshing...And then, drinking just water on empty stomach may give you pain, have it with Gur and it will replenish your body..."
More than anything else, the soothing caring tone of the old man calmed Advay's senses making him nod; a little bit absent minded.
The old man brought water and gur. "What will you like to eat, beta?
"Nothing." Advay's reply was terse as he drank water fast. It did quench his thirst and sooth his throat...the physical relief eased out the stress from his body a little.
"Beta, you look much stressed...There's pain in your eyes...your mind is troubled...but why punish the God given body?...If god has given trouble, he will give solutions also...to search those solutions, you'll need to strive..."
Advay looked up suddenly in the memory of Naani's earlier words. He looked hard at the old man. The man looked very sincere while he continued talking.
"...and for striving you need strength... If you eat something, I shall get some business and feel better...If you leave without eating, I'll only get worry...whether something happened to you on way further...so why not choose to make us both feel better...
Advay suddenly looked up at the last words.'Only if life's choices were easy to make both feel good. At least here, the choice wasn't so difficult.'
He had never till date allowed anybody to preach him... Yet the voice displaying subtle authority and the rational argument were taking a grip on his inner turmoil.
He smiled, "Don't worry about your business."
He placed a five hundred rupees note on the table.
The man stepped back and spoke vehemently, "No beta... It's not about money... We are poor but we earn honest living from our own work...I will never ever take money for just water... It's given by nature... It's free...My wife has been making hot parathas...She makes them well... You'll like them." The man urged sincerely.
'Not better than my Chandu.' Advay thought of Chandni's loving eyes while serving him breakfast. Her fond memory was everywhere...in everything that he did...
He nodded again, "All right. Bring whatever you have."
"Di...Are you busy?" Chandni called out from Pooja's door.
"Chandni...you woke up? Come in...How are you feeling today?"
Pooja beamed happily ushering a hesitant Chandni in.
"I am OK Di... Have you had breakfast? And others?"
"Yes Chandni, we all had. Only you two sisters were missing."
"Didi...Naani..." Shilpa halted halfway in her speech as she barged in. "Oh my god! Pooja di, you'll be taking all these clothes?? They are so modern...you'l look so different, so young!...so refreshing..."
In excitement, she could not find next words.
"Yes Shilpa! When you are in Rome, live like Romans...These clothes you haven't seen; but I always wore them in London...I was very different then...I have left a life back in London."
Pooja grew serious...her thoughts going back to her life before marriage...She suddenly became aware of everybody watching her and shook her thoughts away.
" I am very comfortable in these clothes. You can also take something like this with you. I can loan you some of my tighter clothes."
"Oh Di..That would be so nice!I haven't started packing anything, and see? You are almost done here...I have never seen you so excited."
"Of course, I am! Very much! I love travelling. This is best Diwali gift from Bhaiyya. I wanted to go on Europe trip from my college; but times were different then...he could not allow me though all my other friends had gone. Yet, he has remembered after all these years..."
"Yes Di, Sir is very openhearted...
"No Shilpa!... Earlier, he wasn't like how he is now... He was a closed person...never ever sharing anything...He hardly spoke to me during the college days...He became more open after Adi's birth... He never ever listened to others either...always did his own thing... But yes! There's no one as genuine hearted as he is."
Chandni smiled agreeing with Pooja completely, her mind reflecting on Dev with Adi.
"Di...did he have breakfast before leaving to office today?" She was hesitant but very worried.
Both Shilpa and Pooja turned with a shocking look on their face.
"E matar ka dana! Naani gave you a message and you are chit chatting here with didi?" Murli interrupted the girls.
"I am not chit- chatting." Shilpa made a face at Murli, "We were all discussing about Europe trip."
"Europe trip?... God knows whether it will happen or not? Bhaiyya has gone to Allahabad now...if he does not return early..."
Now Chandni turned to Murli in a shock, "Allahabad??" her voice a mere whisper.
"Yes Chandni!... Bhaiyya is gone to Allahabad...he left in the night itself. Must be halfway now..."
Pooja held a shocked Chandni in her embrace; but Chandni just stood still... Fear pulsing through her... The air, relaxed earlier, suddenly thickening with grief.
'He went to Allahabad?? And without telling me? In the night itself?... He left me?... He left me!...Oh God!... no! Not again!...not again please!'
Fear slammed into her chest causing pain through her whole body. her eyes, her head, her arms, her legs, even her gums...as she clenched her teeth!
"Didi, naani has called you to her room.' Murli quietly informed, his head bowed down in fear.
Things were not right! Everything was going wrong. Chandni just stood still...frozen in her place...unable to respond to anybody.
"Chandni, you must go ...meet Naani...She's also very worried." Pooja cautioned.
Chandni could not move... Pooja held her and walked out. As they approached Naani's room, she pushed Chandni towards the door.
"Come beta, come sit with me." Naani called out to Chandni as she lingered on the door...fear gripping her.
"Naaaniii..."Chandni forced herself to speak...but her voice hardly a murmur!
"Are you feeling OK?"
Naani's loving tone sotthed Chandni's troubled mind. She forced her frozen feet to walk and sat near Naani's feet..
"Naaani? He is gone? He went to Allahabad? Why?"
"You tell me why. What happened between you two last night? Can you share it with me? My Chiku is hurt but he will never open when his wounds are deep...at least you tell me."
"Naani..."Chandni hesitated, "he is angry with me..."
"Yes...I know that...but why? What happened? Is it something related to your getting your period?" Naani was anxious.
Chandni was finding difficulty in talking as last night's events came back. "I got my periods yesterday..."
"Aaand?" Naani urged.
Chandni knew she could not lie or hide anything from Naani. Naani knew people in and out. And perhaps Naani was the best family member to counsel her now. With a burst of forced confidence, she made herself speak.
"Naani...We have both been hoping for a child... but yesterday I knew that something is wrong with my body...I was kidnapped and drowned...then jumped in a waterfall...my body is damaged, naani...I shall never be able to conceive... "
Agony made tears stream down Chandni's eyes.
"That's not true...is that what you told him?"Naani patted on her head.
"Yes naani...And I asked him to get married to someone who can give him child."
There! it was out...out from her heavy heart.
"Whaat?? ?...You said that?"
Naani couldn't believe her ears. She jerked up in anger. Chandni stumbled at her feet. She was shivering in fear.
"You asked Chiku to get married again? How could you even say that to him?" Naani was getting angrier by the second.
"What else can I do, Naani? ...He wants a child...He needs a child...Only a child can help him find his inner peace."
"Yes Chandni! But a child with you! You are his life!
"No Naani! I cannot be...He has already suffered hugely because of me. I will not let him suffer further."
"That's nonsense." Naani rubbished her claim.
"Why? Just because I love him, should I hold onto him? Should I deprive him of his life's ultimate happiness?"
"Chandni? Have you given any thought to what you are suggesting to Chiku?... A man who has been day and night bound to you...even when he despised you and only revenge drove him...but there wasn't a night or a day that he would not think of you...and now you are the purpose for his life, for his happiness...you expect that loving heart to go and mate with another woman, just to have a child?"
Chandni knew this! They had always been bound to each other. As long he remembered her, even his anger was acceptable...
Yet now, what he needed was a child. Chandni steeled herself.
"Yes Naani. I want him to do that."
"Chandni... you are a woman yourself! How can you expect some other woman to be with Chiku?... just to give him a child but Chiku incapable of loving her? Would you as a woman accept such arrangement? Then how can you expect another woman to do it?" Naani's voice had risen.
Naani was a strong feminist. She would never allow disrespect of any woman. That was the reason why she had stood firmly behind Chandni when Chiku ditched her on first night itself. She had fought against her grandson to give Chandni her due respect and allow her to stay with him.
"And will such child, not coming from a loving coupling, give him peace? Or will it torment him all his life that it is not an outcome of his love. What will that child remind him of?" Naani's scorn poured on Chandni.
"And where's the assurance that it's your fault that there's no baby yet? If it was something to do with Chiku; would you then make such choice?"
"No Naani... never! I cannot even think of anyone else but Dev!"
"Then why do you expect him to be different? Why don't you understand his love for you?" Naani shook Chandni by her shoulders.
The mere suggestion of being with someone else apart from Dev... Chandni could not get air in her lungs... was this a dream? A nightmare? Her Dev had gone away. Naani was asking her questions which she had no answers to...
"You were the girl to fight against Sasha. You did everything to make her leave. Where have you lost that Chandni who had so much faith in her love?
Why do you want to be a martyr now? Learn to be selfish for your love. Want it always. Protect it with your life.
Only then, my Chiku will have his peace."
Chandni stood frozen in her place. Life's blood was draining out of something precious...very precious to her heart. What have I done? Why did I not think from his side? No wonder he said I hurt him... Oh God! I hurt him again...I wanted to see him happy...but everything that I do, I always end up giving him pain.
"Naani...Naani, I'll go and bring him back...I'll go and bring him back, naani."
"No Chandni" Naani was stern, "You shall not go anywhere...you always act on impulse. Learn to assimilate yourself...That's what Chiku is doing. He needs his time. Alone."
"Let.him.be! He will return back! You take this time and think yourself...what it is that you want from life? Are you ready to give up on your love which you almost lost once before in life? Will that make anyone happy?"
Shikha had a close group and was much coveted by her friends... a bindhaas badaas girl always chatting happily!
She was leaving college with her friends chirping constantly...Suddenly she yawned feeling very tired.
"What happened? You were sleepy in the class as well today. You did not answer any questions from the professors as you always do." A friend asked.
"Don't ask me, yaar! Veer, my fiance, woke me up early morning. Could not get my sleep complete... My whole day goes bad when I don't get my sleep...and can you imagine? He says, after we go to Allahabad, I will have to get up early everyday."
Shikha showed her unhappiness in her voice as well as her face. The friend stifled a laugh.
"He is right, Shikha. As you said, both you will be mahant and mahantani in your ancestral place...it will be naturally expected of you."
Friends always tried to console her.
Mihir was Shikha's close friend in the group. Very sincere and mature...She liked him a lot because she found him very similar to Veer.
"Shikha...have you given it any thought? I mean... Becoming Mahantani is a great thing in your life...We all understood your enthusiasm when you had told us about it. But being a mahantani will mean changing yourself completely...your badaas mannerism, your clothing style, your food habits...you won't be this Shikha at all..." He pointed to her up and down.
She looked at him, her eyes suddenly confused. The nagging voice from the morning deep down in her heart resurfacing. 'He is right. I won't be myself.'
Mihir placed his hand on her shoulder consoling her confusion yet he could not stop telling her the truth.
"Not only that, all this education of yours will be kind of wasted. You won't have a progressive career. You will be limited by what community expects of you. Have you accepted that life?"
"But My family, my jiju and Veer are both very progressive..." Shikha protested refusing to delve too deeply into the nagging thought.
"Agreed. But are they allowed to speak against or go against the community, especially when related to your ancestral temple. Won't religious beliefs and customs predominate there?"
"Yes, that's true, Mihir."
Shikha thought about her mother, the way she had to live, making sure everybody was satisfied in the temple. "What can I do? Nobody can change that."
"Yes, I know. I am just saying so that you reflect on it and take a conscious decision. Don't regret it later."
Shikha just nodded. Life is not easy. I hope I don't repent later.Edited by Loving2Missing2 - 1 years ago
Topic started by Loving2Missing2
Last replied by Loving2Missing2