Patriarchal thoughts and Silsila | Silsila Badalte Rishton Ka

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yurimehta11

@yurimehta11

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 5 years ago

Man support patriarchal society and many women also joins the league. For centuries women were treated as pleasure things and had no say against men. Slowly things start changing and women start voicing their thoughts so in process wife is divorced and discarded by man.Happiness of a man matter the most which should be satisfied at any cost. A women is nothing without a man.

Writer and makers of this show also has same thought process.

Nandini a domestic abuse victim, after going through so much in life doesn't stand on her own. Writer never give her character strength to shine on her own. She jump in the bed of next good man she grab and that's it. In short a woman always need a man and all other relationship can be put stake for the same.

Mauli financially independent and did wonder in ema revelation track but now she is also victim of husband worship syndrome. He can use her, humiliated her, discarded her but love doesn't happen second time. She doesn't have courage to back question him about never turning back and never look after his family.

Kunal a complete patriarchal man.He thinks love can happen more than once and act for gaining his happiness whoever comes between his happiness should be punished whether it is his family.

He can send them money but he didn't why?

He just run away from his responsibility and not even once he realized what destruction he did. Writer didn't write a dialogue for his cowardness and his family too act like its their mistake to disown him.

He can be bad husband but not bad father. How come?

If there is choice will he choose Mishti over Pari. This is tough question which writer doesn't want to answer.

Father loves all children equally is their assumption but in real life one child among the siblings is favourite of parents. So favoritism happen in normal household how he escape that.

Usually the kids from the woman a man love always gets best treatment and this fact very well explored in zindagi gulzar hai. Kashaf and her sisters always treated secondary by their father. So no Kunal won't love Mishti wholeheartedly like he claims to dilute his mistakes.

All three characters of this show behave in total patriarchal way. EMA isn't progressive or something refreshing like makers claims.

It would be refreshing if they showed woman choosing each other over man.

Nandini and Mauli choosing each other's friendship over love.

Both M and N ditched Kunal and find two new different men, keeping their friendship enact.

They can dare to show a woman can be a great mother despite being a bad wife and break the stereotype that a bad wife is bad mother.

Woman involved in ema usually restrained from meeting her kids as she is bad influence.She can be good mother and human. They can explore that angle too via Nandini if her kid hadn't died.

Infidelity of men is very common and well explored genre and makers doesn't showcase something bold like they claim.

Edited by yurimehta11 - 5 years ago

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prettywomaniya

@prettywomaniya

Dazzler

Posted: 5 years ago

Originally posted by: yurimehta11
Man support patriarchal society and many women also joins the league. For centuries women were treated as pleasure things and had no say against men. Slowly things start changing and women start voicing their thoughts so in process wife is divorced and discarded by man.Happiness of a man matter the most which should be satisfied at any cost. A women is nothing without a man.
although i never saw kunal mauli thing as a man woman thing, i mean never promoted their breakup as a man walking out of a marriage but whatever u said is true. and i cant deny that if mauli had behaved the way he had then the things would have been different today.. as in, more difficult more bitter.. and probably unpardonable!!

Writer and makers of this show also has same thought process.
Nandini a domestic abuse victim, after going through so much in life doesn't stand on her own. Writer never give her character strength to shine on her own. She jump in the bed of next good man she grab and that's it. In short a woman always need a man and all other relationship can be put stake for the same.

nandini was a weak and selfish woman and represent the real face of society except when she is shown as some innocent woman.. i wish they had shown her a more layered and selfish woman.

Mauli financially independent and did wonder in ema revelation track but now she is also victim of husband worship syndrome. He can use her, humiliated her, discarded her but love doesn't happen second time. She doesn't have courage to back question him about never turning back and never look after his family.

i am repeating again that i never saw maunal thing as a man vs woman thing and thought it is her love that she wanted him back then.
but then i wonder what if not kunal but she was the cheater??
she is still stuck in the past memories. i thought that bad memories still haunt her
and if it were a man then also it could have been the same. but she recalls old memories, imagines a happy family and sees a dream of ex husband. and now she is regretting her decision for which she was proud once.. i dont know if kunal would have undergone all this .. i guess no..

Kunal a complete patriarchal man.He thinks love can happen more than once and act for gaining his happiness whoever comes between his happiness should be punished whether it is his family.
He can send them money but he didn't why?
He just run away from his responsibility and not even once he realized what destruction he did. Writer didn't write a dialogue for his cowardness and his family too act like its their mistake to disown him.
He can be bad husband but not bad father. How come?
If there is choice will he choose Mishti over Pari. This is tough question which writer doesn't want to answer.

kunal... what do i say about him.. 😕 have taken his favour so many times. even asked people if are going too harsh on him.. wrote zillions of things in his favour but i didnt know writers want to show him that bechara that they dont want him to share his part of mistakes..

Father loves all children equally is their assumption but in real life one child among the siblings is favourite of parents. So favoritism happen in normal household how he escape that.
Usually the kids from the woman a man love always gets best treatment and this fact very well explored in zindagi gulzar hai. Kashaf and her sisters always treated secondary by their father. So no Kunal won't love Mishti wholeheartedly like he claims to dilute his mistakes.
All three characters of this show behave in total patriarchal way. EMA isn't progressive or something refreshing like makers claims.

It would be refreshing if they showed woman choosing each other over man.

Nandini and Mauli choosing each other's friendship over love.

Both M and N ditched Kunal and find two new different men, keeping their friendship enact.

They can dare to show a woman can be a great mother despite being a bad wife and break the stereotype that a bad wife is bad mother.
mauli wasnt a bad wife.. nor she is a bad mother..

Woman involved in ema usually restrained from meeting her kids as she is bad influence.She can be good mother and human. They can explore that angle too via Nandini if her kid hadn't died.

Infidelity of men is very common and well explored genre and makers doesn't showcase something bold like they claim.

in short i really wanted to believe that atleast maunal breakup and evrrything related to them wasnt a man vs woman thing.. but it is!!

love can be an explanation for some deeds but not in these circumstances.. and we should also think what if mauli was the cheater not kunal..

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yurimehta11

@yurimehta11

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 5 years ago

@Anahi thanks for dropping your thoughts. I didn't wanted to imagine it like man v/s women thing but it is like that.

A man's desire is well accepted and understand by society. Phrases like A woman age but man doesn't age is told very often whenever such things happen.

Shows and movies time to time explains infidelity of man to society and somewhat justified or diluted the hate. We are programmed to accept man's cheating.

On the other hand women is responsible for keeping a relationship strong. Morality's burden is on her shoulder while men can roam freely. A women's sexuality is dormant and taboo subject.

A man can leave his wife and kids because he is fall out of love but a woman can't leave a man for the same. If she does so she is s**t shame and called wh**e by society but man can get lawyer for his favour within society. This is sad reality of society.

The writer and maker both are females so if they dared to show ema female and make her understable it would be pathbreaking. Jab we met is only movie where kid (Aditya) forgive his mother for leaving him and choosing love but dozen movie where father get forgiveness.

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prettywomaniya

@prettywomaniya

Dazzler

Posted: 5 years ago

Originally posted by: yurimehta11
@Anahi thanks for dropping your thoughts. I didn't wanted to imagine it like man v/s women thing but it is like that.
pleasure is all mine.. i find the post really interesting.. 😊 if i had to reply to this post when mauli wanted kunal back and he was telling her that he just couldnt come back then my reply would have been different.. for me that time she did it for love.. and i totally understand , u dont need to explain. even i never looked at it as a man vs woman thing until now.. things have changed and now it is a man vs woman thing to some extent..

A man's desire is well accepted and understand by society. Phrases like A woman age but man doesn't age is told very often whenever such things happen.
Shows and movies time to time explains infidelity of man to society and somewhat justified or diluted the hate. We are programmed to accept man's cheating.

@red -- fact!! truth!!

On the other hand women is responsible for keeping a relationship strong. Morality's burden is on her shoulder while men can roam freely. A women's sexuality is dormant and taboo subject.

A man can leave his wife and kids because he is fall out of love but a woman can't leave a man for the same. If she does so she is s**t shame and called wh**e by society but man can get lawyer for his favour within society. This is sad reality of society.

same feelings.. leave society. we all wouldnt have accepted this if mauli had done the same thing.. u are right when u say "we are designed to accept man's cheating.."

The writer and maker both are females so if they dared to show ema female and make her understable it would be pathbreaking. Jab we met is only movie where kid (Aditya) forgive his mother for leaving him and choosing love but dozen movie where father get forgiveness.
ohh!! finally . finally someone mentioned this example.. i wish it were some pathbreaking show.. i still have hopes from these writers..
i wish they dont consider "path breaking" is equal to "achieving impossible" .. as in first kunan and now maunal..

my answers in bold..

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kiransgirl

@kiransgirl

Navigator

Posted: 5 years ago

Originally posted by: yurimehta11
Man support patriarchal society and many women also joins the league. For centuries women were treated as pleasure things and had no say against men. Slowly things start changing and women start voicing their thoughts so in process wife is divorced and discarded by man.Happiness of a man matter the most which should be satisfied at any cost. A women is nothing without a man.
Writer and makers of this show also has same thought process.
Nandini a domestic abuse victim, after going through so much in life doesn't stand on her own. Writer never give her character strength to shine on her own. She jump in the bed of next good man she grab and that's it. In short a woman always need a man and all other relationship can be put stake for the same.

Mauli financially independent and did wonder in ema revelation track but now she is also victim of husband worship syndrome. He can use her, humiliated her, discarded her but love doesn't happen second time. She doesn't have courage to back question him about never turning back and never look after his family.

Kunal a complete patriarchal man.He thinks love can happen more than once and act for gaining his happiness whoever comes between his happiness should be punished whether it is his family.
He can send them money but he didn't why?
He just run away from his responsibility and not even once he realized what destruction he did. Writer didn't write a dialogue for his cowardness and his family too act like its their mistake to disown him.
He can be bad husband but not bad father. How come?
If there is choice will he choose Mishti over Pari. This is tough question which writer doesn't want to answer.

Father loves all children equally is their assumption but in real life one child among the siblings is favourite of parents. So favoritism happen in normal household how he escape that.
Usually the kids from the woman a man love always gets best treatment and this fact very well explored in zindagi gulzar hai. Kashaf and her sisters always treated secondary by their father. So no Kunal won't love Mishti wholeheartedly like he claims to dilute his mistakes.
All three characters of this show behave in total patriarchal way. EMA isn't progressive or something refreshing like makers claims.

It would be refreshing if they showed woman choosing each other over man.

Nandini and Mauli choosing each other's friendship over love.

Both M and N ditched Kunal and find two new different men, keeping their friendship enact.

They can dare to show a woman can be a great mother despite being a bad wife and break the stereotype that a bad wife is bad mother.

Woman involved in ema usually restrained from meeting her kids as she is bad influence.She can be good mother and human. They can explore that angle too via Nandini if her kid hadn't died.

Infidelity of men is very common and well explored genre and makers doesn't showcase something bold like they claim.

I do not now nor have I ever seen the hand of patriarchy behind Silsila. I did not see it when Nunnu's supporters were grasping at straws trying to justify her characterless, despicable actions of having sex and an on going affair with her best friend's husband. However, the domestic abuse storyline definitely did have patriarchal roots; it should be noted that domestic violence is a byproduct of male anger and belief of superiority and control of women (and even their children.) No denying that. The writers did handle that storyline well by showing Nandani escaping her abusive husband and starting a new life. I believe you can be a victim and evil at the same time; Nandani was a victim of domestic violence but she was an evil, characterless user who did not think twice about having an affair with a married man, married to her best friend no less.

As for Mauli, I see no patriarchy😕 Patriarchy is, at the most basic level, defined as the subjugation of women to the benefit of men; it is undergirded by societal rules and norms that result in economic, political, social and cultural inequality between men and women. It is systematic and you are correct: SOME women do benefit from perpetuating a patriarchal system. Tell me how patriarchy applies to Mauli? How is she being subjugated? She has CHOSEN a cheater over a good man; she has choices. She is just making bad ones. She is an financially independent doctor with familial support; she is not being abused in any way, nor is she facing systemic discrimination in any way. Mauli suffers from that syndrome known as dumb a$$..

As for the writers, they suffer not from patriarchy but from God worship. It's the worship of the Divine Kunalji. Every woman worships at the altar of the great God Kunal. So, it's not patriarchy; it's worship of a useless, cheater.

The problem with people using patriarchy as a justification and excuse when it does not apply is that it strips it of its real and true face. It is no longer taken seriously. It is no longer given the weight and burden that it is. This is not patriarchy; this is just a bunch of weak, stupid women, in fact that is the true disgrace in this whole sordid show.

Edited by kiransgirl - 5 years ago

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Anjali

@arshi_asya

Dazzler

Posted: 5 years ago

And you have mentioned everything debatable thing I have found with the characters of this show and the writers as well.

Even now, Kunal will be justified and hailed for single-handedly nurturing Pari but Mauli is still faulty at times.

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yurimehta11

@yurimehta11

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 5 years ago

@Kiran you are right that patriarchy is about discrimination between the gender. Mauli didn't abused by anyone for being a woman but she is the one taking blame of things she didn't responsible. Doesn't it expected from a woman in patriarchal society to forgive sin your husband for family.

There is no dialogues where Kunal said if I checked before leaving, my kid won't suffer just like patriarchal society where man is not responsible for any mistakes. Mauli did mistake by lying but he got scot-free for everything.

There is no dialogues from her if you hadn't involved in extra marital affair our kid wasn't deprived.

His fault isn't pointed out by makers just like in our society where people say forget his sin and move on.

A man has right to be father and his wife has no say in denying that, its said norm but can we say vice versa, I guess no. How many examples are there where a woman allowed to be mother after choosing another man.Its said norm a bad wife is bad mother but a bad husband can be best father if this is not gender discrimination what it is.

Just reverse the place of Mauli and Kunal's place in EMA and things will be crystal clear that how this show support patriarchy. Kunan has supporter despite being wrong but Mauli and other man will not be supported by anyone.

The crime is same but punishment is different and according to me favour one while denying another is wrong. A woman having sex with more than one man has insulting name like s**t and wh**e but man hasn't any why??

Because a man is driving force and his needs to be Adress and women is second class citizen so one ounce of her mistake should be corrected by punishment.

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yurimehta11

@yurimehta11

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 5 years ago

Originally posted by: prettywomaniya

my answers in bold..

thanks Anahi for agreeing that we are designed to accept man's cheating. The programming done so cleverly that we didn't realise.

"Jo tumse pyar kare usse shadi karo na ki jisse tum pyar karti ho" countless time this phrase use to prepare girl what to choose. Its not important what your heart want.

If some woman run away and want to come back later to meet her children than society will say "jab bhag rahi thi tab bacche yaad nahi the."

We can't differentiate between a mother and wife both are same for woman if she fail in one front she will automatically declared failed in another without giving chance. Its okay for a kid to not know her/his birth mother but not okay to not know about biological father.

Its okay for a kid to attend second marriage of his father and friendly with his second wife but its crime to give a glance to your mother and step father.

Actually we put so much burden on the shoulder of a woman that she forget her essence and than man claimed I am fall out of love.

I am not saying woman should be selfish and mean. Loyalty and selflessness is quality of women but if she failed don't demonised her.

If a man deserve a fair chance with his children despite of adultery than a woman too deserve the same.

If we can't digest this fact and give her the same chance of being a mother like we give to a father, we as shouldn't advocate for man.

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yurimehta11

@yurimehta11

Dazzler

+ 3

Posted: 5 years ago

Originally posted by: arshi_asya
And you have mentioned everything debatable thing I have found with the characters of this show and the writers as well.
Even now, Kunal will be justified and hailed for single-handedly nurturing Pari but Mauli is still faulty at times.

I am glad there is people in the forum who shares same opinion as mine. This writer is so unfair with female characters first she gave cringe worthy dialogues to Nandini now she turned Mauli desperate. In short women in love has no dignity and Kunal the great is always right whatever he do.

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Charaiveti

@Charaiveti

Rocker

+ 3

Posted: 5 years ago

#10

The show shows that a man can walk in n out of his wife's life ,use her,abandon her, then find new woman,then again forget her n come back,or maybe not.

But a woman,the wife,she can't move on. She should be waiting for the husband n in the end she has to be with the husband only,she has to forgive him n accept him back,even if he didn't even apologize.

Totally patriarchal,irresponsible writing. Im dissapointed by all the characters n the writers. There rr already enough shows propagating patriarchal thoughts,couldnt this one just once be progressive?

Edited by Charaiveti - 5 years ago

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