BADLAAV -(Akshan SS)Final part updated in page 4*

vinlora thumbnail
Visit Streak 365 0 Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 0 Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 5 years ago
#1
Hi guys,it's short story on my favourite AKSHAN. .I love intense and emotional stories. ..since very long I had this sequence in my mind. ..I'm very bad in writing stories...so I requested many wonderful writers here...but I feel they are busy...but the sequence revolving in my mind every time so I couldn't resist and thought to give a try...since I don't have a good command over English I'm writing this in hindi. ..plz read this and give your valuable views and support me...
Ps:I'm not a writer so sorry for mistakes

This story is based on the sequence where guddan got kidnapped by dutta and Parv, ...the struggle,aftermath, AJ's reaction, his Tadap, Akshan emotions everything. ..

So let's start...

Shaam ka waqt tha...sab log apne apne kaam mein vyast the...Guddan apne kayaalon mein koi huyi chal rahi thi...aaj huye incident ke baare mein soch rahi thi... Kuch acha karne chali thi aur kuch gadbad hogaya.. Waise ye koi nayi baat nahi thi...har baar eaisa yi ho raha tha...isiliye sab log kehte the 'Guddan tumse na ho payega'.... Shuru shuru mein bahut bura lagta tha lekin dheere dheere farak nahi padne laga... Lekin aaj bahut Dino baad pata nahi kyun bahut bura lag raha tha Guddan ko...
Guddan:"wo AJ uncle hai na bada kadoos hai...apne aapko samajthe kya hai?...maana ki humse galthi hogayi lekin sabke saamne itna sunane ki kya zaroorath thi... Hume Papa ki bahut yaad aa rahi hai..hum Papa ke pass chalte hai ...waise audition dene ka mood bhi nahi hai...mera mood off kardiya uss uncle ne...saand kahin ka... wahan nahi rahenge tab pata chalegi humari ahemiyat uss akdu AJ uncle ko...ab kabhi baat nahi karenge unse..."
Flashback
Ek taraf Guddan ne parv ki sachchayi sabke saamne layi aur AJ ne usse dhakke maar ke bahar nikala...lekin jaane se pehle Parv Guddan ko apne tappad ka badla lene ki chetavani dekar gaya tha...lekin Guddan tho darr ne walon mein se nahi Na... Usse koi farak nahi pada...lekin humare Sher AJ ko thodi chinta hone lagi ..apne liye nahi apni Mrs.Jindal ke liye...kyunki wo jaanta tha ki Parv kitna Gatiya aadmi hai...dusri taraf AJ ne ghar ki chabiyaan Guddan ko di thi...aur Guddan apne atarangi andaaz se Jindal parivaar ko sambhalne ki koshish kar rahi thi...ghar mein sabko Kush dekhna chahthi thi isiliye naye naye tarkeeb aazmathi thi...lekin jaane anjaane mein galthiyaan karthi thi...anjaane mein ki huyi eaisi yi ek galthi ki wajah se aaj Guddan ko sabke saamne beizzat hona pada...
Uss subaha Guddan ko kisi ka call aaya tha aur lead role ke liye audition pe bulaya tha...Acting tho Guddan ka dream tha isiliye wo bahut Kush thi aur achche se ready ho kar audition ke nikli thi...Theeno bahuvone prathirodh kiya lekin daadi ne support kiya aur AJ ko manane ka zimma liya...Itne mein ghar ke bahar hungama mach gaya ...AJ restaurant gaya tha...ghar ke sab ne bahar aakar dekha tho kuch log AJ ke restaurant ke kilaf protest kar rahe the ...media bhi aayi thi...Darasal saru bahu ko restaurant mein kaam karna tha tho uske kushi ke liye Guddan ne usse restaurant ki zimmedari sambhalne di thi...lekin saru ki galthi ki wajah se kuch gadbad hogayi...kisi customer ke ghar veg order ke badle non veg khana pahuncha diya...aur uss customer ne Media ko leke aake zindal mansion mein bada hungama kiya..lekin AJ ne ahem mauke pe aakar kaise bhi kar ke apne restaurant aur ghar ki izzat bacha li...
Lekin uske baad Jo huva...ye bhagavaan...AJ ka gussa saatve aasmaan pe tha...Wo Guddan ko keench ke ghar ke andhar leke aaya...Guddan tho bahuth darr gayi thi...
Guddan: "ye kadoos AJ uncle tho aaj humari chatni banadenge ya phir Hume kachcha chaba denge...hey Lord Krishna plz iss raavan ke keher se Hume bachalo"...
AJ: "tum apne aapko samajthi kya ho Guddan?..hamesha apni manmaani karthi ho...kisi ki baat nahi sunthi...ab tak tumhare har harkaton ko nazar andaaz kiya ..kyunki maa ne kaha 'Guddan nadaan hai kuch nahi samajthi... Dheere dheere seekhegi..usse thoda waqt do...' Isiliye mein chup tha...lekin
aaj tumne jo galthi ki hai uski wajah se mera restaurant barbaadh hote hote bach gaya..Jo restaurant jiski wajah se ye ghar ye parivaar hai aur wo restaurant meri antara ka sapna tha...usme meri aur antara ki yaadein hai...isse mein hargiz bardaash nahi karunga Guddan...tum apne aapko bahut smart samajthi ho na?...tumhe tho sabkuch pata hai na...lekin sach ye hai ki tum sabse badi bewakoof aur badhimag ladki wo...galthiyon ki dukhan...jab dekho tab chatar chatar chatar...sirf munh chalta hai tumhara dimaag nahi...kitna baat karthi ho takthi nahi ho kya?.. Sab log teek yi kehte hai 'Guddan tumse na ho payega'..."
Ye baat sunte yi Guddan se reh nahi gaya..
Guddan: "Oye uncle ,...maana ki humse galthi hogayi lekin itna sunane ki koi zaroorath nahi...aap karele ki taraha hamesha kadwi baatein kyu karte ho...aap na aap..."
Guddan phir se shuru hogayi lekin AJ itna gussa tha ki aadhe mein yi Guddan ki baat rok li...
AJ:" chup ek dum chup Guddan...tumhare iss fizool ke baatein sunkar mein Pak chuka Hun...pura Indore jantha hai muje galthiyon se aur galthiyaan karnewalon se sakt nafrat hai...lekin pata nahi kyun bhagavaan ne galthiyon ki dukaan ko yi mere ghale baand diya...badnaseeb Hun mein pehle antara ko kho diya aur ab tumhare wajaha se antara ke sapne aur yaadein bhi kho raha tha...sach kahun tho tum panauthi ho mere liye...mera sukoon tho cheen yi liya saath yi Saath meri izzat aur meri zindagi mera restaurant dhaav pe laga diya...ab bas karo Guddan muje sukoon se jeene dho...tum apna munh bandh rakhna seek lo agar nahi ho payega tho humare nazaron ke saamne math aao ...humse dhoor raho.."
Ghar ke sab log shock hokar AJ ka taandav dekh rahe the...3 bahuaien Kush horaye the kyunki AJ ne band jo bajaayi Guddan ki...lekin daadi bahut dukhi thi.."ye kya bol rahe ho lalla"
Guddan: "oye uncle ,...bol diya...hogayi aapki bakwas...ab mein bolungi aur aap sunoge...muje koi shauk nahi aap jaise boring insaan se baat karne ka..aur muje nahi chayiye aapke restaurant ki aur ghar ki zimmedari...le lijiye ghar ki chabiyaan ...apko aapka restaurant, aapki izzat ,sukoon aur aapki antara ki yaadein aapko mubarak ...mein ja rahi Hun heroine ban ne..muje auditions ke liye dher ho rahi hai..." Guddan ne apne style mein ghar ki chabiyaan AJ ke hath mein tama di aur swag se boli "Aur ek baat uncle,...aapko mere bolne se problem hai na...tho aaj ke baad hum aapse kabhi nahi baat karenge...aap kahe tho bhi nahi... na hi pareshaan karenge..ye Guddan ka waada hai aapse...aur ye Guddan se zaroor ho payega...aur daadi hum audition ke liye ho kar aate hai...aap fikr math kariye..."aur wahan se nikli.
Flashback Ends
Guddan ne apne paapa ke ghar jaane ka mann kiya tha tho wo auto ke liye rukhi thi..tabhi ek car aata hai aur usme se gunde aakar guddan ko behosh karke usse kidnap kar lete hai..
Jab guddan ko hosh aaya tab wo ek andheri room mein padi thi...uske haath paav bandh diye the...usse bahuth darr laga aur chillane lagi..
Guddan:"Hello ..koi hai...kisne hume bandha hai..plz hume chodiye. ."
Kidnapper1:" Itni aasaani se kaise chode Mrs.Akshat jindal..."
Guddan shock hokar "dutta uncle tum...tumhara munh kaala hone ke baad bhi tumhari itni himmat hogayi ki hume kidnap karne ki"
Dutta:" Himmat tho karni yi padi Mrs.jindal...meri beizzathi ka badla jo Lena tha "
Kidnapper 2:"Aur muje mera tappad ka badla "
Guddan shock hokar dekhthi hai tho wahan Parv khada tha..
Guddan: "Parv tum...tumhari bhi itni himmat?... Agar AJ ko pata chala na wo tum dono ki chatni banadenge..."
Parv aur Dutta jor jor hasthe hai..
Dutta: "kaun kiski chatni banata hai wo badh mein dekhenge...apne aapko bahut smart samajtha hai na wo AJ...mera sab kuch cheen liya na usne..ab dekh na tumhare zariye uss AJ ko hum kaise barbaad karthe hai..."
Guddan:"tum ne teek kaha dutta uncle ...AJ uncle na thode akdu hai lekin bahuth smart bhi aur genious bhi..."
Parv:" kya saasu ma...uss budde mein kya smartness hai...? Meri taraf nazar tho daalo...smart ,handsome navjavan..."
Guddan gusse mein " chup karo Parv apni ye bakwaas...mere pathi ke baare mein aur ek shabdh bhi mat bolna... Tum dono ki ek baar mein chutti kar denge wo"..
Parv:"kaise chup kare saasu maa...? Muje jo ghar se beizzat kar ke nikala tha uska aur uss tappad ka hissab tho Lena hai uss AJ se..."
Guddan thoda darr gayi lekin inn logo ke saamne dikhana nahi chahthi thi..
Guddan:"Hum keh rahe hai chod dijiye Hume...Varna bahut bura anjam hoga tum logo ka."
JINDAL MANSION
Aaj huye tamashe se ghar Mein sab log upset the...AJ bahut gussa tha ... apne room mein idhar udhar batak raha tha..tabi daadi wahan aathi hai...
Daadi:" Ye tune achcha nahi kiya lalla..maanthi Hun ki meri Guddan ne galthi ki hai lekin jaan booj kar tho nahi kiya na..?"
AJ bahut irritate hogaya..
AJ:"Plz maa...ab aap phir se uski tarafdhaari mat kijiye..sirf ek kaam us se bahuth achche se hota hai wo hai galthi karna aur muje irritate Karna.. "
Daadi: "chup karo lalla...tumne aaj Guddan ko sabke saamne itna suna diyaa bahuth bura kiya...wo kabhi bhi kisi ka bura nahi chahthi.. Jo bhi karthi hai dusron ki kushi ke liye karthi hai... Aaj bhi kuch achcha karne chali thi na...?Saru ko jiss kaam karne mein kushi thi uss kaam ki zimmedaari dhi thi Guddan ne...lekin saru ne kuch gadbad ki tho meri Guddan ki kya galthi hai usme...wo jaise bhi hai bahuth masoom hai ,saaf dil ki hai.."
AJ: "lekin maa..."
Daadi ne AJ ko aage bolne nahi diya..."muje kuch nahi sun na lalla..muje Guddan ki bahuth chinta ho rahi hai...Maine bahut baar phone try kiya lekin nahi uta rahi hai wo...pata nahi kaisi hai ..kis haal mein hai meri gudiya..."
Maa ko rote huye dekh kar AJ pareshaan hogaya.
AJ: "aap chinta math karo maa ...aapki gudiya ko kuch nahi huva...wo kahi jaake kisi ko pareshaan karke baiti hogi ya apne baaton se kisi ko pagal kar rahi hogi...jab uska mann bharega tab aa jayegi"..
Daadi:" Muje kuch nahi sun na lalla...muje bas meri Guddan wapas chayiye...jab tak tum usse sahi salamat wapas ghar na leke aate ho tab tak mere saamne math aana"aur daadi ro kar wahan se chali jaathi hai..
AJ frustrated ho jata hai .
AJ:"kahan gayi ye pagal ladki...?"

To be continued...
Precap: ek haadsaa

Note: sorry guys it was little boring...but coming story is interesting...
It's my second story... My first story was on SUKOR...
Plz do comment and share your views...will update the next part soon..
Thank u
Lora Vincent



Edited by vinlora - 5 years ago

Created

Last reply

Replies

40

Views

7.5k

Users

10

Likes

70

Frequent Posters

1154991 thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago
#2
Lora!!!!!!!! How could u say that u don't write well?????
In fact this was superb 😳
Please next part bhi aaj hi update kar do aap or else kal
I can't wait PLEASEEE
plmzaq thumbnail
Anniversary 7 Thumbnail Group Promotion 5 Thumbnail + 2
Posted: 5 years ago
#3
Awesome start
Love it
Continue soon
Chit15 thumbnail
Anniversary 15 Thumbnail Group Promotion 4 Thumbnail Networker 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago
#4
Good story
I liked the way you described whole scene
Waiting for next update
vinlora thumbnail
Visit Streak 365 0 Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 0 Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 5 years ago
#5

Originally posted by: Raglak_akshan

Lora!!!!!!!! How could u say that u don't write well?????

In fact this was superb 😳
Please next part bhi aaj hi update kar do aap or else kal
I can't wait PLEASEEE

OMG. ..thanks a lot dear. .I'm glad that u liked it...hopefully I will try to update within 2 days ...the last part ..
vinlora thumbnail
Visit Streak 365 0 Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 0 Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 5 years ago
#6

Originally posted by: plmzaq

Awesome start

Love it
Continue soon

Thank u so much. ..will update soon..
vinlora thumbnail
Visit Streak 365 0 Thumbnail Visit Streak 180 0 Thumbnail + 4
Posted: 5 years ago
#7

Originally posted by: Chit15

Good story

I liked the way you described whole scene
Waiting for next update

Thank u so much. ..will update soon. ..
nish_vir thumbnail
Anniversary 9 Thumbnail Group Promotion 4 Thumbnail + 3
Posted: 5 years ago
#8
Lora😛, this was worth reading, all right! So dont say you dont know how to write :)
I liked Guddan's response to AJ after he was done pinning the blame on her. She was cool as a cucumber😎 and nailed it, with her words. This is how Guddan actually is, unmindful of those jo uske peeche pad jate hai😆. How royally she told dadi ki i'm going for audition ;)
Aj bhi aj hi hai. Thoda gussail, otherwise very sensitive towards his mother and he does think of Guddan highly😆 'kisi aur ko pakaa rhi hogi!'
Eagerly waiting for nxt update.
1048973 thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago
#9
Beautiful writing lora pls do continue soon
Krina_Patel thumbnail
Group Promotion 1 Thumbnail
Posted: 5 years ago
#10
Nice start
Update soon😊😊
Top