"Who the hell does he think he is?" My aunt Kavita is screaming on the landing whilst I sat on the stairs trying to figure out where my life was headed.
I didn't once imagine my future without Maan in it, my thoughts, my decisions, my dreams all surrounded him in one way or another. How do I simply wash my hands away from the dreams I'd woven? Maan was... no he is my world.
"I'm going to kill the bas***d" my grandmother curses. "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, the mother was like that and now he. I knew my girl could do better than him" she snaps angrily.
"At least his mother wasn't a coward" Kavita aunty adds.
"Hey Kavita, call your ex Nicholas. Get him to visit the pussy and give him a beating he'll remember" my grandmother urges.
"Yeah, I'll do that" my aunt agrees.
"Neither of you are going to do anything" I stand climbing down the steps and look between them. "And you're certainly not going to send someone to beat Maan up" I narrow my eyes at my grandmother.
"The boy deserves a whipping then hung from a tree" she mutters sharply.
"You're still not going to do anything" I reply shaking my head, "I need to figure this out and get my head around it".
"There's nothing to figure out!" Kavita aunty snaps at me. "You're going to serve the bas***d with divorce papers tomorrow, tell him to keep the mistress. I'm going to get Nicholas to beat the shit out of the wh**e instead" she pulls out her phone.
"Please aunty!" I pull her phone away from her hand. "Grandma, tell her".
"No, I'm going to side with her on this" my grandmother shakes her.
"Fine hear me out" I cross my arms in front of me. "Firstly, I am not going to divorce Maan. Secondly, tonight we're no longer speaking about him anymore. I am exhausted and I want both my favourite people holding me as I sleep" I state firmly.
They both slowly nod, I gesture to the top of the steps and follow behind them as they start climbing the stairs.
A few minutes later, I'm in the middle of the bed with my grandmother and aunt on either side holding on to me. I refuse to cry, I know they must be pained seeing me like this. Not once had they let my heart break since they took me in after my parents died when I was 3yrs old. They didn't allow any tears flow from my eyes and now they're having to ignore the man who'd filled my eyes. I close my eyes forcing myself to switch off and just sleep.
I'm sorry I repeat many a times as I stand under the shower. I curl my hands into fists by my sides squeezing my eyes closed, Geet's cries echoing repeatedly.
I press my hands to my ears trying to block it out. I just wanted her to stop.
I didn't want to hear it anymore.
I done the one thing I promised myself I will never do.
I cheated on my wife.
"Maan" Geet squealed as her husband banded his arms around her waist lifting her swiftly off her feet and swung her around. "Stop... stop" she giggled.
Maan turned her to face him cradling her cheeks and lowered his head for a deep kiss, his hands pressed into the small of her back.
"What's brought this on, Looney?" Geet smiled pleasantly sliding her arms around his nape and tiptoed kissing him again.
"I'm just showing my wife how much I love her" he muttered against her lips and backed her to the wall caging her in his arms.
"Oh really?" Geet giggled tilting her head back as he pulled back and peppered kisses down her throat.
"Mmhmm" he hummed trailing his hands to the zipper of her dress. "Also, I f**king missed you".
"I was gone for a day" Geet laughed.
"Don't tell me that you didn't miss me" he sunk his teeth into the softness of her shoulder and bit her making her hiss.
"What's going to happen if I say I didn't?" Geet giggled reaching for the buttons of his shirt and tugged at them impatiently.
"Baby, I'm going to show you what you missed" he smirked pulling her dress down and pushed them down her hips leaving her... "You're fully naked underneath" he gasped. "You got into a taxi and came home like this".
"I wanted to be ready" Geet winked.
"f**k" he murmured and lifted her into his arms. "Keep your heels on" he whispered pressing her against the wall, her legs curled around his hips and her arms wrapped around his shoulders holding onto him.
"He's gone" Varun informs me.
"I know" I sigh, "he's a financial adviser, he knows how to move money, how to make money disappear, it wouldn't be hard to make it hard for us to find him" I reply.
"I'm sorry, Geet. I really am" Varun looks apologetically. "I... never thought bhai would ever do this especially..."
"That's why I find it so hard to believe that my Maan would have done this" I stand moving to the fire place and brush my fingers on Varun's wedding photo. It was a picture of him with Ellie, Maan and I on one side, with their mother and step father on the other side.
"It's my Maan, Varun... I... I need to know the truth" I turn around to face him. "I need to know the truth behind all of this... there's ... there's going to more..."
"I feel there is more, but what can we do?"
"For the last couple of months, all I could think about is Maan's behaviour changed before the accident, or during. He had told me he's going to be away on this business trip for two weeks, something happened on this business trip. I need to find out what could have led to Maan cheating on me".
Varun stood, he approaches me and stops before me. "What if you find out he'd... he'd just cheated with no reason?"
"Then I will truly accept that I lost Maan" I whisper.
It hurts all over, my body shudders as I wake with the night terrors taunting me. I see Geet breaking down, I hear her echoing scream.
I shove off the duvet stepping out of the uncomfortable bed, my fingers tremble as I pour myself a glass of water and guzzle down trying to soothe my dry burning throat.
It doesn't help.
I slump onto the edge of the bed cradling my head.
The dark room, the scented candles, the unfamiliar touches of another woman assault me reminding me of the pain I caused my wife.
I look down at my hands, these very hands touched another woman who wasn't my wife. I lift my head staring into the mirror straight ahead.
I dip my head down pressing my hands to my ears, tears sliding down my cheeks as I recall the hurt on my wife's face. I ruined her life.
The distraught look on her face broke me when she learned Sara was pregnant with my baby.
I'm sorry... I'm sorry Geet I repeat inwardly as I stand and dress, I grab my keys and pull open the door disappearing into the dark night once again.
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