As I write this, I'm cringing with fear. I was asked to give the male perspective on the #MeToo movement. Imagine my horror. I mean, what have I done? Or rather, what do they think I have done? Is the Women's Association of Womanhood (W.A.W.) upset with me? Are they trying to trap me?
Ladies, I'll be honestthe #MeToo movement was bound to happen. In the west, through all the empowered film actresses. Here, through the Karni Sena, the first and only group to accept female empowerment as more dominant than male empowerment by their unending civil polite campaign to save the honour of Padmavati.
The #MeToo campaign is now the second biggest campaign in the world. Second only to Save the Olive Ridley Turtle' campaign (with genders). And yes, we men are feelingforgive the punthe pinch. The worst part is the bloody internet. For me, it is the world's worst invention. (The best being air conditioners, obviously) . If #MeToo had happened in the 1960s, it wouldn't have amounted to much. (Of course the 60s had a much more fun movement called free love', but no one here wants to write abut that.)
What is not clear is what are the Rules of Engagement'? In the words of India's greatest poet: "The nation needs to know. Both genders need to have an outlined, detailed understanding of what constitutes consent. For example, in the time of Homo erectus, consent meant one blow with a club to the head. Two blows meant leave me alone'. Three blows meant you were searching for something.
I, with some help from my wife, have produced two childrena boy and a girl. I have sat them down to have a serious conversation about this whole Rules of Engagement' fiasco. As their earplugs were on, I'm not sure if they heard anything. But, here's my two cents on the subject. The answer to all future dates is one wordM.O.U. A memorandum of undertakings by both parties before going on a date is imperative.
Friends, ladies and countrymen, lend me your ears... Now please carry your M.O.Us with you. And you can draw your line on where consent ends, and love-making in the subcontinent begins.
Cyrus Broacha is a comedian, columnist and TV anchor.
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