Chapter 1
Bela stared at her computer screen and brought her mug of tea toward her mouth. Gently breathing out over the surface of the liquid, she willed it to cool. It had been three years since Bela had left Seghal company. Two and a half of those years she had spent at McCloud Designs & Graphics in Buffalo, New York, where she now headed up the real estate arts division. It was a commanding job that even Bela was unsure she could handle, but her immediate supervisor at the time had encouraged her to apply. On a whim, she had relented. For the most part, the risk had been worth it.
It had been a risk to leave for Buffalo in the first place. She would be leaving behind the comfortable life as a receptionist at Seghal company, along with office Olympics, pranks on Ajitabh, bouncing castles and Mahir Seghal.
Mahir Seghal.
Every Monday, he was pushed to the forefront of her mind. Since she'd left Seghal company she had tried to repress the feelings he evoked from her. But every time she went on a date, every time her sister or her coworkers tried to introduce her to someone new, she couldn't help comparing. They weren't as funny as Mahir. Their hair was too short, too light. Their eyes weren't black enough.
Sighing, she put down her mug and moved her computer mouse. She clicked on her "Favorites" tab and did what she did every Monday.
She was fairly certain that she was certifiable. Checking the website had now become habit. Every Monday for the past year she would click on to the bookmarked link that took her to Facebook. She felt completely juvenile having set up a page in the first place, but her secretary had convinced her, telling her about all the friends she'd reconnected with because of it.
So far, the endeavor had been completely useless. She didn't even have any "friends" on Facebook. It felt like she was in high school again, sitting at a table with Vikrant, listening to football plays while the cheerleaders tried to make forced conversation with her. All the while, she desperately wanted to sit with the art kids, discussing the merits of Bernini. Yet, despite the obvious uselessness of Facebook, every Monday she continued to log into the website.
Each week she began in the same way, a methodical process of leading her cursor to the top left corner. And every Monday she would type: Mahir Seghal
There were plenty of Mahir Seghals who had accounts with Facebook: one from Atlanta, one from Los Angeles, even one in Canada. None, though, were from Mumbai.
If asked, Bela would have denied that she thought of Mahir as often as she did. She doubted that a day went by where she didn't find herself remembering something about their time together at Seghal company. Ridiculous things like jello, winter ski gloves, coffee mugs, yogurt lids, paper clips... they all somehow tortured her in the same way.
There were days when she felt terrible about leaving the company as abruptly as she had. Toward the end, each day had become consistently more stressful and more awkward than the one that preceded it. It was painful to see Mahir every day, ignoring her, barely saying two words to her. Even more painful was watching him laughing, smiling and joking with someone else, someone new. It constantly reminded her that they were no longer the same friends that they had once been. Their dynamic had been destroyed by her inability to communicate what she really wanted, to just make him understand.
After she had moved into her sister's apartment, Suhani had questioned her about her abrupt move to Buffalo. It was so uncharacteristic of Bela to just leave everything- her job, her apartment, art classes; especially after she had made such strides in leaving Vikrant before the wedding. But there she had been, quiet as always, admitting to nothing.
"I just needed a change of scenery," she had explained with a simple shrug of her shoulders. And that had been the end of it.
Suhani knew her sister, and that even if pushed, it was unlikely that she would confess the truth behind her move. She suspected that her sister had buried whatever hurt or fear that had sent her fleeing to Buffalo, buried.
Now Bela sat, as she did every Monday, oddly relieved that she again had avoided confronting her past.
...
"Seghal company, this is Rehan," chirped a voice from behind the reception desk.
It had taken a while for Mahir to not cringe every time the phone rang. The very greeting that in a distant past had once haunted his dreams was now drowned out by thoughts of business deals and the shuffling of paper work.
Even though its was mahirs fathers company he was not interested to work here for a long time. His interest was never in construction business.
He had at one time hoped that he could return to school, maybe get a degree in recreation and start a sports camp for kids. Now he was so entrenched in his job and his relationship, he doubted that that goal would ever be realized.
Andy had made it clear from very start that he is not going to help him in any sports camps and that being his only son he have to take this company further.
"Setting up a camp costs money, Mahir," his girlfriend had reminded him. "And if you go back to school then factor in all the start up costs," she began to list each on her fingers. "Sports equipment, advertising, location, insurance. How are we supposed to pay for all of it? We've got to be realistic Mahir."
We've got to be realistic.
She was right. He was being selfish and not thinking of the fact that he was no longer free to make choices that would benefit his own pursuits. He had to think about them now; their future together. That future brought expenses: a house, car payments, and perhaps even children. In addition, if he ever mustered up the courage, there would be one very large expense.
He carefully looked around the office to make sure that no one was looking and opened his desk drawer. Right where he'd left it sat a small blue jeweler's box. In it lay the very ring with which he planned to propose.
Since he'd bought it, he had refused to let it out of his sight. It came with him to work and it went home with him each night. He supposed that by carrying it around might make him less nervous, might even give him enough strength to just ask. Instead, it just sat in the same box he'd purchased it in. Whenever she would come over to his house, he stashed it in his sock drawer. When she wasn't around he let it sit on his dresser. It seemed to mock him when he left it out, reminding him that it had been over three years since they'd started dating.
Get a grip,Seghal, he often thought to himself. God knew he had tried multiple times to find the perfect moment to propose. But each time he couldn't bring himself to just do it.
Anu made him happy, he certainly admitted that. There were nights that he couldn't fall asleep because all he could think about was the next day and when he would see her again. When he was finally able to admit that he loved her, it had taken him by surprise. He didn't think it was possible that he could love again. There had been a time, in the distant past, when he was afraid that perhaps he'd permanently shut himself off to love. Many days he had even supposed that he was doomed to be alone, never to have that feeling again.
His relationships in the past had been different than his current one with Anu. She was forthright, she never held back and she certainly was not afraid to speak her mind. He had admired that about her from the start. When they'd first met she had seemed like the opposite of Bela and that's what had initially attracted him to her. She didn't tug at her necklace when she was nervous; she was rarely distracted from her work. He hardly ever caught her tucking her hair behind her ears, and he never saw her eyes dart for the floor. She was certainly different than Bela.
When Bela had worked as Seghal company's receptionist his relationship with Anu had been strained. He was constantly afraid that he would ruin it by doing something stupid like offering to prank Ajitabh with Bela before even considering Anu. His feelings for Bela had constantly crept up on him and pushed him to her. It was a bad habit; of that he was certain.
He had, for years, known that there was something between him and Bela. The chemistry was too palpable; he would steal glances at her from his desk, and he would oftentimes catch her doing the same. The smiles they would share, the jokes they would tell... they just got each other without even having the words to say anything at all. They were best friends until that night, when he'd finally taken a chance. They could have and should have been more than just best friends.
But he had gambled and lost. She rebuked his kiss in the end, later dismissed their relationship when he had returned to Mumbai and they were never the same. One day he came in and found that she had quit and left Mumbai, altogether. He'd heard through Kuhu that she was living with her sister in New York. For months he wondered if she'd left because of him. But he never called to find out, always assuming the worst: she still didn't love him, still didn't return his feelings for her, and still didn't want to be more than just his friend.
For months after her departure it had hurt to breathe. He had even gone to his doctor who found nothing physically wrong with him.
Eventually, the pain in his chest dissipated, taking with the feelings he had for Bela- or at least that's what he'd assumed.
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