Previously On...
Armaan & Billy show down.
Armaan has Billy arrested.
Track 38 - Titanium, Sia ft. David Guetta
Unable to see his condition, Rahul sat in front of Armaan and wrapped him up in a big tight hug. He soothed Armaan the best he could, but Armaan's sobs refused to subside.
"She's... She's going to h-h-hate me, Rahul. S-s-s-she'll be so disa-a-appointed in me," Armaan wailed in Rahul's shoulders, his words muffled by sobs. "I called the c-cops on my own father. What kind of a son am I? Bua Maa will be so disappointed. How will I ever face her?"
"Hey, hey, hey," Rahul soothed, running his fingers in Armaan's head. He pulled back and cupped Armaan's face, making Armaan look at him. Armaan turned his face away, unable to meet Rahul's eyes. He was suddenly feeling so ashamed of himself. He'd gotten his father and uncle arrested!
"Look at me, Armaan," Rahul said. Armaan only shook his head slightly, refusing.
"Look at me," Rahul commanded, turning Armaan's face.
"She's not going to be disappointed in you," he told Armaan. Armaan scoffed. "Shut up. She's not going to be disappointed in you. In fact, I'm sure she's proud of you."
"Proud of me for throwing my father out?" He asked sarcastically.
"Listen to me. You remember the promise you made her?" Rahul asked. Armaan nodded. Of course he did. All of this had been about keeping his promise to her.
"You promised her that you'd protect Jaanhavi from everything. That you'd never let anything happen to her. That's what you did today. You kept your promise to her. You were in a situation that caused Jaanhavi pain, and you dealt with it. You made it so that she wouldn't be in pain anymore. Those two vile excuses of humans have given Jaanhavi nothing but grief for the past 18 years. And today, they got their own. Shalini Aunty would be so proud of you. You kept your promise to her. She'd be so proud," Rahul told Armaan.
"Jaanhavi's so lucky," he continued. "You're the best brother, Armaan. You're not a failure, you hear me? Not at all. You're one of the strongest people I know. And, you're the best son, the best brother, the best friend anyone could ask for. Anyone would be lucky to have you in their life. You're such an amazing person. I'm so lucky to have you in mine. And, I'm so very proud of you."
Armaan scoffed again. Rahul sighed.
"Listen to me," Rahul commanded. "I am proud of you, Armaan Mallik. So very proud of you."
"Even after today?" Armaan asked him, his voice uncharacteristically vulnerable.
"Especially after today," Rahul assured him.
Armaan hugged Rahul again. "You really think Bua Maa is proud of me?" He asked Rahul.
"I know she's really proud of you. How could she not be? You're the best son," Rahul replied.
Armaan smiled through his tears and pulled Rahul into a hug. "I love you, Rahul."
Rahul smiled at that, his eyes get teary. "I love you, baby," he replied. Armaan always did like being called baby whenever he was sad. It made him feel as though he wasn't alone, that someone was there who cared for him, who thought of him affectionately. Yes, it had started out as a joke, but it was anything but a joke now.
Rahul sighed when he felt Armaan have an anxiety attack. The tell-tale heavy breathing, the shivering and the jumbled whispers gave it away, like they always did.
Rahul had been through too many similar situations with Armaan to know that. The abandonment issues that Armaan battled each day, were staggering. All his life, people who he loved had left him, making him feel like he didn't have anyone. His parents, his aunt, Jaanhavi, Nikki, his friends, and even Riddhima.
Really, it was a miracle that Armaan was able to trust anyone after everything he'd been through, that he was able to forge new relationships with people everyday.
But, any mentions of his past always brought the vulnerability that Armaan tried to bury deep inside of him and made him extremely anxious and jittery. It was only in those moments that Armaan really let the wall he'd built around himself drop. He gave himself over to his grief, wanting to plunge it out of his system and purge himself of the hatred and helplessness he felt, but he was never successful, because they all returned tenfold after something like this happened.
It was only Rahul who'd been able to successfully calm Armaan down on the occasions that it had happened. Yet, it never helped much because Armaan would always be a bundle of nerves after every incident and it took him a few days to pull himself out of his funk. Rahul could already foresee increased therapy sessions in the near future.
As if the 3 days a week that Dr. Reynolds had prescribed after the recent events wasn't enough. Rahul prayed for a day when Armaan would be able to finally overcome all his issues, the day when his mental illnesses, his panic attacks and anxiety would leave him behind. He knew that it was a long way away, but everyday was a step forward in the right direction and with everything that Armaan had already achieved, Rahul knew that one day, Armaan wouldn't need therapy anymore. Or his anti anxiety medication.
Rahul sat with Armaan on the floor, hugging him tight and soothing him best as he could with murmured words of comfort and periodic movements of his fingers along Armaan's back. Sometime later, Armaan stopped shivering and his breathing returned to normal, his panic attack seceding.
Rahul didn't let go immediately though. He sat there for a few more minutes and ran his fingers through Armaan's hair and rubbed Armaan's back, bringing him back to reality.
When Rahul was sure that Armaan was okay, he pulled back. Armaan smiled at Rahul and held his hand out. "Chal ab."
Rahul took Armaan's hand without hesitation and hoisted himself off the floor. "Where?"
"Where else? Gotta check on the ladies," Armaan murmured, smiling softly.
Rahul nodded his assent. Jaanhavi had been so shaken on seeing those two men at their doorstep. He'd never seen her so scared, so helpless. She hadn't even uttered a word before running back upstairs to the sanctuary of her room. She would definitely need some strength right now. And, in this situation, he didn't think anyone would be able to handle her better than Armaan.
When they reached Jaanhavi's room though, he stopped Armaan from opening the door. There was just one thing.
"What?" Armaan murmured.
"Um... After that... Uhmmm... That very... Uh... Very public display of hatred... Um... I'm sure that... Uh... That the others will have questions," Rahul stated anxiously.
Armaan sighed. Of course. He'd been so wrapped up in everything that he'd forgotten that everyone had been there to witness everything that had transpired a few minutes ago. And, they would definitely have questions. All of them. They were his friends, and he knew that they were all fond of Billy, too. Riddhima & Anjali had told him time and again, how much they adored him, and even though Muskaan was wary because he flirted with her so much, it was obvious that she held some affection for Billy, too. He didn't like that. He didn't like that at all.
But, they didn't know what he'd done. How he'd ruined Armaan's life, Jaan's life. How he'd separated Armaan from Jaan. How he'd hurt them all. How, he didn't think there was a way he'd ever be able to come back from it all, how he wouldn't be a part of Armaan's family ever again.
"Tell them," Armaan whispered, determined. They all needed to know what a vile man Balvinder Mallik really was. "Tell them everything."
"Are you sure?" Rahul asked, surprised. Armaan hated to people about his past, his childhood.
Armaan nodded. "They deserve to know, Rahul. They adore him, too," he said. Just like Rahul once had, before he'd found out what had happened.
"I'll tell them," Rahul promised. Armaan passed him a grateful smile.
Their little discussion over, Rahul opened the door to see Jaanhavi crying on Tamanna's shoulder. They both looked up on hearing the door open.
Jaanhavi immediately flinging herself in Armaan's arms, clinging to him tightly.
"Shhh, bas, Jaan. Bas. Tu toh mera achcha bachcha haina?" Armaan soothed her, just like Bua Maa used to do for them, whenever they were upset.
Rahul and Tamanna smiled seeing them together and quietly left the room, closing the door behind them. Once outside, Rahul hugged Tamanna really hard.
"It'll be okay, right?" He asked her, worried.
"It has to be," she replied.
Rahul nodded against her shoulder, kissing her head. "I'm so worried," he said.
"Don't worry," Tamanna assured him. "They'll be okay. They have us. And Jeeju and his family. We'll pull through this. Like always."
Rahul came out of the hug and smiled at her. "Thanks, Tammy," he told her, kissing her forehead. Tamanna smiled and pulled Rahul downstairs with her.
Here, everyone was stunned seeing Armaan behave like that. No one knew what to say or think. They'd never seen Armaan that way. They knew Billy had done something huge to warrant this kind of reaction from Armaan. But what? Riddhima refused to believe that the man she'd come to respect like her own father could have done something so heinous that his son didn't even think twice before calling the cops on him. In all these years, she'd never seen Armaan lose his cool like this. Not even when he found out that she was married. The only instance that came close was when Tamanna's ex had shown up, but even then, Armaan's eyes hadn't held such deep hatred. It was like, if he could have, he would've killed Billy Uncle and Jaanhavi's dad on the spot. What was wrong?
Seeing Rahul and Tamanna coming down the stairs, Nikki rushed to them. "What happened?" She asked. Rahul sighed. He knew this was coming. He knew. But, he didn't want it. He didn't want to tell them, if he could. It would cause them so much pain, especially Nikki. He didn't want that.
Rahul knew, just how much Nikki adored Armaan & Jaanhavi. Jaanhavi had once told him all about their childhood. How her and Armaan had been together since she'd been in diapers, and how Nikki had joined their little duo when she was just a kid. The three of them had been each other's lifelines. In Nikki, Armaan had found a friend, a confidant, and she'd found an adoring elder sister who loved her almost as much as her own family did. When her mother had passed away, after Armaan, it had been Nikki who she'd turned to for support. Nikki had also been immensely protective of Jaanhavi, almost as much as Armaan. Knowing what had happened would hurt her so very much.
"Rahul, please. Don't do this. What don't I know?" Nikki asked desperately. Armaan & Jaanhavi were her family, and they were in such intense pain. She wanted to be there for them, so very badly.
"I..." Rahul hesitated. He didn't know what to do. Yes, Armaan had given him permission to tell them everything, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. So much pain, so much heartache. How would they even deal? He'd known for almost 5 years now and there were days he still didn't know how to deal with it. This was the kind of stuff that changed people, gave them nightmares.
There were times he wished he could undo it all, that he could go back to before. Before he knew what had happened, before Armaan had given into his therapist's suggestions (really, they were demands) and told Rahul everything. Before he knew just how much Armaan & Jaanhavi had actually suffered in life at the hands of the people who were supposed to love them the most.
"Rahul, please!! Tell me. I need to know," Nikki all but begged.
"Nikki," Rahul sighed, "it's just... It's... I don't... I just... I..."
"Rahul, Nikki is right. Armaan is... He's family. We all love him. We care for him. We want to know what's wrong," Atul cut in.
"Please, Rahul," Anjali added. "We only want to help."
"Rahul... Please. Armaan is... I've never seen him that way. He's never behaved like this. Please, tell us," Riddhima all but begged. This all started because of her. She was the one who'd called Billy here. She was the one who told him that she'd found Armaan. She'd told him that Jaanhavi was getting married. It was all her fault!
She'd only wanted to do something nice for Armaan. Never had she thought that it would all go so horribly wrong.
"Rahul... I... I'm sorry! I didn't know!" Riddhima wailed. "I... I thought... I only thought I was doing something nice for Armaan. I thought... I thought he'd be happy on seeing Billy Uncle. I never thought... I didn't even imagine..." She trailed off, sobbing.
Rahul looked at her, stunned. "What?"
"I..." Riddhima hesitated. "I... I called Billy Uncle, Rahul, she admitted. "I mean... The other day... But I just... I thought... I thought it would be a nice thing to do. That it'd make him happy. I never even imagined..."
He couldn't fathom her reasons for thinking that, but it was clear that she was really regretting doing so.
But, seeing her like that, sobbing and so upset, Rahul was unable to turn her away. He hugged her hard and shushed her. "Okay, okay. I'll tell you. Just, don't cry. It's okay! You couldn't have known," he tried to comfort Riddhima.
No matter what, Riddhima was his friend. And, much as he was uncomfortable to admit, Armaan's too. He'd seen how she'd silently supported Armaan through everything, especially when Aniket and Adhiraj had come back. She'd leaned on Armaan when she found the truth about Shilpa. They'd come to trust each other with such stuff and were becoming friends again.
She was their friend, and he couldn't see her so upset over this. He couldn't see anyone upset over this. Armaan and Jaanhavi were upset enough.
Riddhima passed him a small smile as they came out of the hug. "Please tell me."
Rahul nodded. "I'll tell you. I promise. But... I just... I want to let you all know that... Well... This is a part of Armaan that he's never really shared with anyone. Just his therapist. And... Me. Because, well... Because his therapist thought it'd be good for him to talk about it with someone other than him (his therapist). Armaan has told me it's okay to talk about this now, without him here, but after this, if he doesn't want to talk about it... Just leave it alone. It's a big thing for him to do even this, I'm sure you all know that. Umm... Jaanhavi doesn't know everything. So, please... Don't tell her."
Turning to Tamanna and Nikki, he added, "Especially the two of you. Please... Don't talk to her about this stuff."
Nikki nodded immediately, used to Armaan's overprotectiveness when it came to Jaanhavi. "I won't tell her, I promise. I have a lot many secrets of Armaan that I've collected in all these years. It's not gonna be difficult for me to keep one more."
And, it was true. Nikki was the bearer of many of Armaan's secrets. She always had been. She could keep one more. Satisfied, Rahul nodded.
Then, he turned to Tamanna. "I need you to do this for me, okay? And for Armaan. Please."
Tamanna nodded her assent.
Relieved that no one would talk, Rahul began talking.
"Armaan... Ever since he was a baby, he'd always been really close to his aunt, his dad's sister - Shalini Bua. I think we all know that he doesn't have the best parents out there and that's where it all really began.
Billy & Ananya Aunty never wanted to marry each other. Annie Aunty was one of Shalini Bua's closest friends, and the two had grown up together. Armaan's grandparents loved Annie Aunty like her own. So, they suggested the alliance, wanting to bring her home. But, Billy & Annie Aunty had never liked each other. And they didn't want to get married. In the end though, succumbing to family pressure, they both gave in, and were married shortly after.
Of course, with an unwanted marriage, came tons and tons of issues and problems and fights. Divorce wasn't really an option back then, so, the elders suggested that maybe having a baby would make things better for them. Thus, Armaan came into this world. Of course, his presence didn't solve any problems for the couple, only increased them, because now they had one more topic to fight about - their son.
But Shalini Bua didn't want their fights to affect Armaan, so she kept him with her, almost all the time. Of course, spending all his time with her, he grew really close to her. For him, she was his mother, not Annie Aunty.
When Shalini Bua got married, Armaan was affected a lot. She did her best, but of course, she couldn't give Armaan as much time as she used to before. So, his grandparents tried their best to make it better for him, to make it so that he didn't miss her as much. Those few years, he became really close to them also.
Armaan was 4 when Jaanhavi was born. He quickly became really attached to her. She was his mother's daughter, his sister. And he took the role of being a big brother very seriously, spending as much time as he could with her and Bua Maa.
A couple years after Jaanhavi was born, Armaan's parents sent him to boarding school, because they thought that would be best for him. He didn't want to go, neither did his grandparents want him to leave - he was only 6 then, after all. But, his parents won in the end and he went to Mussourie. Dadi couldn't handle the separation. It became too much for her, and she passed away soon after Armaan was sent there. And then, Dadu, heartbroken over his broken family and the absence of his wife and grandson, followed her soon after.
That changed Armaan. He became even more protective of Jaanhavi, of Bua Maa. Now, those two were his only family and he couldn't let them leave him too. There was a time when he was obsessed with knowing they were okay. He would call back home often, almost daily. Sometimes twice or thrice a day. It got so bad that the authorities had to have a talk with his parents about it. He was put in counselling sessions, but they weren't really fruitful because he didn't speak at those sessions. In the end, the counsellor decided that they should all let Armaan grieve the way he wanted to. He was only a little kid at the end of the day.
And... Things smoothened out eventually. He was about 10 when Nikki joined his school," Rahul recollected what Armaan had told him.
It was such a heartbreaking tale, riddled with pain and loss everywhere. He still remembered how traumatizing it had been for Armaan to talk about all this. His pain on losing his grandparents, his fear that maybe he'd lose someone else too. Rahul had never known Armaan carried so much heartache every single day.
He looked at Nikki, who also had tears in her eyes. She was someone who had seen Armaan go through all of it in person. The fear, the anxiety, the loss, the pain, all of it. She'd been through it. With him. Armaan had told him several times that had it not been for Nikki, he might not have survived. She'd been his strength. His entire support system.
"He really admires you, Nikki," Rahul said, holding her hand in his own. "And he loves and respects you so much! He's always saying that if he wouldn't have had you, he wouldn't have been able to even move a finger, that you'd been the most amazing friend he could have asked for."
"He does?" Nikki asked, surprised.
"Yes," Rahul replied. "All the time. He really missed you."
"I missed him, too!" Nikki said, absolutely ecstatic to know that Armaan still thought about her after all of it.
Yeah, right! Rahul scoffed at her words, but wisely kept his mouth shut. He didn't need to create another drama on top of what was happening.
"Armaan was..." Nikki sighed. "He was the best best friend anyone could have asked for," she said, smiling fondly, as she remembered all the times that he'd been there for her and supported her. It was true that she'd seen him through some really tough times, but he'd been there for her too. She never would have been able to get over her parents' divorce if not for him.
"Yes... But that doesn't explain his behaviour with Billy today," Shashank cut in. Listening to what Rahul had said had definitely softened him towards Armaan, but it still didn't excuse his deplorable behaviour with Billy.
"I'm getting to that, sir," Rahul answered. "So, where was I? Haan. Nikki. So, things definitely turned around after Nikki came. She was this terror, Armaan told me. So loud and in the face. Always ready for a fight. And, she fought for him, when some idiot kids were bullying him. Uss din se, the two became friends and slowly, Nikki helped Armaan break out of his shell.
Armaan was getting better, leaving behind the sadness that had been his shadow since his grandma's death. He would laugh more, smile more. He told me that Shalini Bua said that she felt like he'd born again. Looking at him smile, play, joke... It was all such a big relief for her. He was slowly becoming her happy boy again.
And then... Everything changed. One little oversight, one promise... And Armaan's life changed forever."
"What... What do you mean?" Riddhima asked hesitantly.
This look into Armaan's life was horrifying, to say the least. No wonder he'd never wanted to speak about it, the few times she'd tried. Who'd want to remember all this? She remembered all the times she'd tried to talk to him about it and felt guilty for putting the least bit of pressure on him. At the same time, she felt cheated that Armaan wasn't telling her all this himself, Rahul was. She felt like she'd fallen short somewhere, in convincing Armaan that she loved him, that she cared about him. Why else would he have told Rahul all this and not her? Somewhere, she realized that it was because of therapy, that Armaan had told Rahul all this because his therapist had insisted on it, during a time when she hadn't been a part of Armaan's life. But, she couldn't help but wonder, if she had been, would he have confided in her? Would he have trusted her? She hated the fact that she was in a position that she was questioning Armaan's beliefs, his faith. There was once a time when she knew that he trusted her blindly, a time when she knew that if something was going on in his life, she'd be the first person to know. More than that, she hated that she was making this about herself, when this was all about Armaan, and how much he'd suffered during his childhood.
"Rahul?" Atul asked, taking a tight hold of Anjali's arm. "Kya hua? You're scaring me."
Rahul shook his head sadly. How was he supposed to continue? The only thing on his mind were Armaan's nerve-wracking sobs as he told him about the accident.
"Rahul, it's okay. I've got you," Nikki said, reassuring. "It's in the past. It can't hurt him again. It's okay."
She knew what he was feeling, because she'd felt the same way once too. Just as helpless, just as hopeless. Rahul nodded and smiled gratefully.
"Shalini Bua... She passed away in an accident," Rahul finally said out loud. His declaration was followed by multiple gasps across the room. He sat there quietly, his grip on Nikki's hand tightening.
"Yes," Rahul continued. "She did. But... Before that... She made... She made Armaan... She made him promise that he'd always look after Jaanhavi. For Armaan, that promise was everything. It was the one thing he held most dear. They'd been the last words he'd said to her, the last conversation they'd had, and he'd spoken those words with all his heart and soul. For him, nothing means more than that promise to her. Absolutely nothing."
"But... Rahul... I don't understand..." Nikki said. "Um... Why did... Why did he lose it with Billy Uncle so badly? I know that their relationship has always been rocky, and Armaan isn't fond of him. But this... This was something else."
"Would you believe me?" Rahul asked her. "Would you believe me if I said that he did to keep his promise?"
"Rahul!" Nikki exclaimed. "What are you saying? Avinash Uncle is Jaanhavi's dad! You think he'd do something to hurt Jaanhavi? And... And Billy Uncle? Billy Uncle loves Jaanhavi more than he loves Armaan!"
"Loved," Rahul corrected. "Loved, Nikki. You think they'd have gone so quietly if it hadn't been their fault? All those years that you knew them, did you ever think either of them is the kind of person who would do that? Who would suffer such humiliation without saying a word if they were right?"
Nikki shook her head disbelievingly. No, it couldn't be true. It couldn't. They both loved Jaanhavi so very much. They'd never hurt her. Never.
"You're lying," she told Rahul, just as tears fell down her face, because she knew he wasn't. He wouldn't lie about something like this. Ever.
"You know I'm not," he replied. "I'd never lie about this."
He took a deep breath before continuing, "Jaanhavi never told any of you, but nothing was the same after the accident. Mr. Sarcar... He blamed Jaanhavi for Shalini Bua's death. He forgot she was his daughter. Hit her many times. He was always drunk, no matter what time of the day. Jaanhavi was almost left to fend for herself in that house. The cook made them food, but other then that, she had to do everything on her own. It was... It was a really difficult time for her.
Thankfully, one day, Annie Aunty saw Mr. Sarcar hit her. She'd gone to check on them, to make sure they were doing okay, and she came face to face with a cowering Jaanhavi as Mr. Sarcar stood over her, ready to strike. That was the day that Annie Aunty brought Jaanhavi to the Mallik House, hoping to take her away from all of that.
Little did she know, things wouldn't be all that great in her house either. The same Balvinder Mallik who swore to anyone who would listen that Jaanhavi was the light of his life, that he loved her more than anyone could now not bear to even look at her. He would always taunt her, shout at her. He didn't like to see her anywhere near him. If he did, he'd shoo her away. He... He absolutely loathed the sight of her."
"NO!" Nikki screeched. She held Rahul by his collar and pulled him close. "You're lying, you're lying, you're lying!"
"I wish I was, Nik. I really wish I was. Jaanhavi admitted to all this to Armaan herself," Rahul replied.
"No, no, no!" Nikki sobbed. "This can't be true."
Unable to do anything to soothe her, Rahul pulled her into a hug. "Shhh," he murmured. "I know it's really difficult for you, Nik. I know. But... You have to know, this is the truth. It's not easy to digest, I know. But it's all in the past now. Jaanhavi is here with us and she's happy. That's what matters, right?"
Nikki nodded infinitesimally. "Yes," she agreed.
Hesitantly, she added, "Is this... Is this why she ran away?"
Rahul nodded. "Yeah."
"Why didn't... Why didn't she tell us? Armaan? Anyone?" Nikki asked him.
"Things were really complicated back then, weren't they? Armaan told me that he was slipping into depression because of Shalini Bua's death. It had really affected him badly. And then... Your parents' divorce. Even you weren't in the right frame of mind. So... Jaanhavi decided not to tell either of you about all this," Rahul explained.
"Armaan ko bhi abhi pata chala, a few years back. Jaanhavi finally told him the truth about why she'd run away from home, why she'd never contacted him. Before that, Armaan used to think it was because she couldn't handle Shalini Bua's death."
"Jaanhavi ran away from home?" Riddhima asked, shocked.
"Yes," Nikki replied. "She would have been 15/16 then. Armaan and I were in Kasauli by then, in college, but Jaanhavi was at home, in Delhi. We were all coping with different stuff, but were getting better, or that's what I thought. And then one day... Out of the blue... Armaan got a call from his mom saying Jaanhavi had run away from home. Armaan lost it after that. Everything that kept him grounded seemed to have been snatched. I tried my best, but... All those losses, so quickly, so young... He couldn't handle it.
He thought... Well, he thought that Jaanhavi ran because she couldn't deal with Shalini Aunty's death. And... It hurt him because he knew he hadn't done enough to help her, to support her after she passed away, like he'd promised her. It was a lot for him to handle, because he felt like he'd broken the promise he'd made to Shalini Aunty, that her dying wish would not be fulfilled because he couldn't cope."
"Where did she go though?" Anjali asked.
"She'd gotten a scholarship from NYU. The Dean of the Admissions Office at the time, Dr. Rebecca Holden, was very sympathetic of Jaanhavi's plight and had her flown to New York almost immediately after Jaanhavi called her. She left the country within a couple of days after running away.
Back then, she didn't tell anyone where she was going, just that she was leaving, that she'd gotten a scholarship and so they didn't have to worry about her because she'd be safe at school," Rahul explained.
"I remember," Nikki continued. "We'd all gone crazy then. Looked for her everywhere. All her friends, a few relatives, her school, bus stops, train stations, even the airport. We couldn't find her anywhere."
"Yes," Rahul agreed. "Armaan told me that Mrs. Holden had chartered a private plane for Jaanhavi under her own name so that no one would be able to join the dots."
"Why would... Why would a complete stranger go to such lengths to help Jaanhavi?" Tamanna asked, speaking for the first time since the conversation had started.
She'd known that there was trauma, a lot of trauma, in Jaanhavi and Armaan's past, but she'd never known it was so deep, so aching.
"Well, according to what Jaanhavi told Armaan... Mrs. Holden herself had gone through abuse when she was younger at the hands of her father, and even an ex boyfriend, which is why she was very understanding and empathetic for Jaanhavi. She offered to help her in anyway she could. In fact, till the dorms opened, Jaanhavi lived with her," Rahul said.
Nani was really taken aback with everything. She was feeling really guilty for shouting at Armaan after hearing this story. "Itna sab ho gaya," she cried. "Armaan ne toh kabhi humein bhanak bhi nahi lagne di ki uski zindagi mein yeh sab..." She trailed off. "Aur aaj maine usse kitna sunaa diya!" Padma Aunty consoled her by hugging her.
They'd all been thinking it, but only Nani had said it. None of them had liked the way Armaan was talking to Billy. But then, none of them had known his reasons behind doing so either.
Now, knowing what they knew... It was so difficult to comprehend that Armaan could have behaved in a different way after seeing Billy and Avinash. He shouldn't have to either. None of this was his fault. But yet, he still felt so guilty about everything. And, instead of trying to understand his reasons, they'd all thought the worst of him, just like they always did.
How many times had it happened before that they'd all jumped to the wrong conclusion about Armaan without knowing about his motivations? It had happened so many times that they'd lost count, especially Riddhima and Shashank. They'd always misunderstood Armaan and judged him too fast, too harsh, just like Shashank had done today.
Riddhima, on the other hand, was drowning in guilt over calling Billy Uncle here. She'd only done it to make Armaan happy, to do something special for him, to let him know how much she cared about him. She'd never imagined that the truth behind Billy and Armaan's non existent relationship would be so bitter.
In trying to make Armaan happy, she'd caused him such insurmountable pain. And for that, she'd never be able to forgive herself. Ever.
xxx
Heavy af chapter, I know! And, some insight into Armaan's past. This isn't all of it, but yes, it covers a major part of why Armaan is the way he is and why he is so overprotective of Jaanhavi, why he was always so overprotective of Riddhima when they were together.
What Billy & Avinash did to Jaanhavi qualifies as abuse, and knowing this, Armaan could never let them be anywhere near her because he would never want her to revisit those unpleasant memories.
I hope y'all liked it! Hopefully, the next chapter will be up soon.
You shout it out
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm criticized but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium, I am titanium, I am titanium, I am titanium
Cut me down
But it's you who has further to fall
Ghost town, haunted love
Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones
I'm talking loud not saying much
I'm bulletproof nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall
I am titanium, I am titanium
Stone-hard, machine gun
Firing at the ones who run
Stone-hard, thus bulletproof glass
You shoot me down but
I won't fall, I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium
You shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium
I am titanium
- Titanium, Sia ft. David Guetta
Previously On...
Rahul tells everyone about how Billy mistreated Jaanhavi.
Track 39 - When We Were Young, Adele
The entire day passed in a daze as everyone mulled over Rahul's story. There were gaps, so many gaps, but they could all see that it had taken a toll on Rahul to talk about it, so no one asked him anything further. It was anyway so difficult for them to imagine the Billy they'd known could do something like this. Knowing more would hurt them more, like Rahul had cautioned.
Of them all, Nikki & Riddhima were affected most deeply. Nikki had known Billy Uncle almost all her life. Yes, she didn't think he was a great father, but she'd always been fond of him because of his playful and jolly nature. On the few occasions that she'd gone to Armaan's house and met him (which was even lesser than the times she'd gone to his house), he'd always made her laugh with his silly jokes and over - the - top persona. And, even though she knew that he wasn't a good father, she'd seen him be a great uncle. He would shower Jaanhavi with affection whenever she was around him - hugging her and kissing her forehead, buying her presents be it books or toys or clothes, always making sure she ate properly, having her favourite meals cooked all the time - she'd seen it all. She'd never seen him do the same things for Armaan.
There were many occasions when she would be stumped that Armaan didn't seem to be the least bit jealous of Jaanhavi and she'd see him watch Billy love on Jaanhavi with a soft, happy smile on his face. Finally, she'd mustered enough courage to ask him why he didn't envy Jaanhavi and his answer was something she'd never forget.
"Why should I be jealous of her? Jaanhavi is my little sister! And I'm happy that Dad at least loves one of us, makes time for one of us. Aur... mere liye haina, Bua Maa. You know... I'm sure she loves me more than Dad loves Jaan. Jab tak woh haina, I don't need anyone else to love me. Her love is more than enough."
Hearing a 14 year old boy talk with a maturity level that most adults couldn't achieve was not something she was expecting. She'd always known that Armaan had been mature, that he understood the workings of the world better than an average teenager, but that was the day she realized just how much he'd had to grow up at such an early age because of the circumstances at home.
But, his words had soothed her. She adored Jaanhavi and she didn't want there to be any sort of bad blood between her and Armaan because she knew that Jaanhavi was one of the very few people who genuinely cared for Armaan.
They'd always been so close. Armaan had been Jaanhavi's safe harbour, just like she had been Armaan's, in some ways. Jaanhavi always told Armaan everything, no matter how trivial. There were days when she'd tell him how many times she'd sneezed. So, she'd never ever imagined that Jaanhavi could keep something so huge from Armaan. It had shaken her deeply to find out that Jaanhavi had been so ill treated in her own home. Jaanhavi, who had once upon a time, been the closest thing Nikki had had to a sister.
She couldn't bring herself to shake the image of a young Jaanhavi, alone and scared, wanting escape in anyway, out of her mind. Everytime she closed her eyes, she saw those frightened eyes, the quivering lips, felt those shallow breaths, the shaking limbs. Now, she wished she didn't know, that she hadn't talked Rahul into it. She understood his reluctance to share it with her, and with everybody else. But, what was done was done. She'd make it better somehow. She knew she would. That was all that mattered anyway.
Riddhima, on the other hand, was going through a torment of her own. She'd done it again. She'd inevitably hurt Armaan. So deeply. Sometimes, she wondered if that was all she was good at - hurting Armaan, whether intentionally or unintentionally. Why did she have to use her idiotic brain? Why did she have to do this? She could've done something else to cheer Armaan up, to bring a smile to his face. But then, she remembered the way she'd felt when Rahul had said those words - he wasn't in the habit of calling home to tell someone he'd be late - and knew that nothing else could have cheered him up as much as meeting someone who cared so much about him would have.
And, Billy Uncle did care. He cared so much. She would know, after all, she'd been the one who'd been on the receiving end of the endless calls he'd made, desperate for any tiny bit of information he could gather about him, desperate to find him. It had been 7 long years, and Billy Uncle had spent a lot of them trying to find Armaan, to bring him home.
But, she'd never known that Armaan's issues with Billy Uncle ran so much deeper than his fights with Ananya Aunty. She'd never known that Armaan's past had been so much worse than she'd imagined. And, she didn't even know all of it. How bad had it actually been? She couldn't even fathom all that he'd gone through, to become the person he had. Her heart ached for him. Her heart ached for him so badly.
She had to make this right, and soon. She'd come clean with Armaan, she decided. She'd apologize to him, explain that she only had the best intentions at heart. She couldn't let him suffer, wondering how Billy found him. She'd tell him the truth. She'd already told him a thousand lies to cover up the one truth she was hiding from him. She couldn't bear the burden of hiding anything else from him.
On the other hand, Jaanhavi had, finally, after hours, fallen asleep as Armaan hummed for her and caressed her hair lightly. She'd been completely hysterical all day, crying and sobbing. It just reminded Armaan how terrified she was of both of them. He couldn't even come to imagine how she'd gone through all of it. He would always be so very proud of her for coming out of it and achieving her dreams, becoming the person she wanted to be ever since she was a kid. He would always admire and respect her so much for doing that, for not backing down, for not letting her fear rule her life, and never letting her past affect her future. She was so brave, so strong.
But, she was at the same time, so vulnerable. Times like these, he would be reminded just how much. She'd become the Jaanhavi he'd known before. Shy and soft and a little withdrawn, just so very easily impacted by every little thing. The Jaanhavi he'd vowed to protect. And, he would. He would keep his promise this time - the one he'd made to Bua Maa, and also the one he'd made to himself. He would.
Late at night, after everyone else had gone to sleep, Tamanna finally managed to coax Jaanhavi into eating something. The girl hadn't eaten all day, wallowing in her grief. It had been very difficult for Jaanhavi to face her past all of a sudden, without any prior warning. She'd been taken aback, not knowing how to react, what to say, what to do. Maybe because she'd never ever envisioned a scenario where she'd see them again, unlike Tamanna who'd always told them that she knew that she hadn't seen the last of Aniket when he'd been imprisoned.
The suddenness of the visit, couple with her complete unpreparedness for such a situation, and the fact that she did not want to embarrass herself in front of all those guests had her running to her bedroom the second she'd seen them. She hadn't come out since, not that Tamanna and Rahul hadn't tried. But, after a few attempts, they'd decided it would be better to let Jaanhavi, and Armaan, deal with it the way they wanted to.
But, it was almost midnight now and Tamanna was worried because neither Armaan nor Jaanhavi had eaten a single morsel in the entire day. So, she'd talked Jaanhavi into eating, if only a little.
Rahul and Riddhima were waiting for the trio in the living room. Despite multiple protests and assurances from Rahul, Riddhima had insisted on staying there till she was sure that things were getting better. She was blaming herself for everything even though Rahul knew none of this was her fault.
Yes, she was the one who'd called Billy Uncle here, but how was she to know the reality of that man? Armaan himself hadn't known till 7 years prior. And, she was only trying to do something nice for Armaan. Rahul really appreciated the thought and he knew that once Armaan found out, he would too.
"Ah, here they are!" Rahul exclaimed as he saw them descend the stairs.
Riddhima smiled and immediately got up. "I'll get the food," she announced.
"Riddhima Di, it's not necessary! We can manage," Tamanna said, yet again.
Riddhima had told her and Rahul that once Armaan & Jaanhavi came to eat, she'd look after serving dinner and that the four of them should just concentrate on eating. Both, Rahul and Tamanna, had tried to talk her out of it but she was a stubborn lady and refused to budge.
"Tamanna! I told you. I don't mind. You guys haven't eaten anything all day. So, just stay put and let me worry about the food, okay?" Riddhima replied.
Tamanna nodded, sulking.
Ever since Riddhima had found out about Tamanna's past, and seen how hard she was trying to help make things right between Rahul & Muskaan, her behaviour towards Tamanna had changed drastically. Earlier, Riddhima used to shy away from any direct conversations with Tamanna and ignored her as much as possible.
But, in the past couple days, she'd spent sometime with Tamanna over wedding preparations and gotten to know her a little. Riddhima was surprised to find out that she actually enjoyed Tamanna's company a lot. She was right. Tamanna was similar to herself in many ways, which made it easier for them to understand each other. They had similar likes and dislikes, a similar set of values that they grew up with and a similar outlook in life.
"Let me help you," Tamanna told Riddhima, but Riddhima shook her head.
"Stay right there, Tam. You're not doing anything. Kabhi mere haath ka khana khake bhi dekhlo. I'm not that bad a cook, you know?" Riddhima teased.
"I'm sure you're great," Tamanna said, smiling. "But... I can help."
"You can," Riddhima agreed. "But I don't want you to. Just sit back and relax a little. Waise, I've cooked Gobi Parathas because Rohan told me they're Jaanhavi's favourite."
Riddhima looked at Jaanhavi and smiled. Jaanhavi returned it with a tentative smile of her own.
"Oh! Jaan!" Armaan exclaimed. "You're in for a treat. Riddhima is an amazing cook."
Riddhima was surprised to hear Armaan say this, but grinned wide when he did. Armaan caught her eye and smiled at her, silently thanking her. Riddhima just shook her head at him, indicating that he didn't have to thank her for anything.
Rahul watched intently as the two talked without words, like they used to when they were together. He was worried about the growing closeness between the two, because he knew that it wouldn't end well for either of them. In all these years, the one thing that Rahul had learnt was that no matter what, Armaan would never be able to forget Riddhima. She was the one love of his life. He'd learnt to be happy without her, but he hadn't learnt to love someone else like he loved her, and Rahul knew that he never would. Observing Riddhima in the past few days, and knowing her as well as he did, Rahul knew that it was the same for her. They'd both found semblance and peace in their lives without each other, and it hadn't been easy. Now, spending all this time together was a sure shot way of spiraling. Because, no matter how beautiful or comforting their friendship was, the simple truth was that Riddhima would leave after the wedding, with her husband. And then, how would the two of them cope without the other?
Shaking himself out of those thoughts, he tried to concentrate on good things, happy things. Like, Muskaan. And the time they'd been spending together. It had been such a delight. They had so much fun together - arguing, pulling each other's leg, laughing, and frolicking. For a minute it felt like the last 8 years hadn't happened, and they were just hanging out together. It was a balm to his aching heart.
Riddhima served dinner to the quartet, and as Armaan expected, Jaanhavi loved the food. She ended up eating more than he thought she would, and that was absolutely great.
"I'm gonna go get some sleep," Jaanhavi announced once she was done eating. The others nodded sympathetically.
"Do you want me to...?" Armaan trailed off, silently asking if she wanted him there. He didn't want to impose if she wanted time to herself. He knew he could get smothering at times, and Jaan wasn't fond of it when he hovered. He'd already spent the entire day with her and he wasn't sure if she could deal with more of his overbearing nature.
"I'll be okay. Don't worry about me," Jaanhavi replied, smiling back at him. He worried so much. He needed a break too.
"Okay," Armaan agreed. "But if..."
"I need anything, I'll let you know, yes, I know," Jaanhavi finished for him. "I'm not new around here, you know."
Armaan chuckled. "Gotcha." He pulled her into a hug and kissed the top of her head. Rahul did the same. Tamanna & Riddhima hugged her too, and then she went back to bed.
And then, Tamanna and Rahul left too, but not before Rahul had hugged Armaan and assured him, once again, that it would all be fine. Once, he was alone with Riddhima, Armaan turned to her.
"Come," he said, "let's get some food in you."
Riddhima looked at him, absolutely shocked. How did he know she hadn't been able to eat after everything?
"Don't look so surprised, Riddhima. Itna toh tumhe jaanta hu main," he said. She passed him a small smile, which he returned with one of his own.
"Come, sit," he gestured to the dining table. Riddhima shook her head. "Armaan, it's late. I'll just go sleep and eat tomorrow."
"No way. You're eating. Sit. I'll heat some food up," he instructed.
Knowing he wouldn't budge, Riddhima took a seat, in the same chair that he'd been sitting on just a few minutes ago. It was so silly, but it made her feel closer to him. She watched as Armaan puttered around in the kitchen, cooking something, as opposed to reheating like he'd told her he would be doing. A few minutes later, he'd come out with a plate of poha.
Nothing could have stopped the huge smile that graced Riddhima's face. He remembered. She'd told him, once, so very many years ago, that poha had been a late night indulgence for her. Whenever she'd stay up late at night to study, and got inevitably hungry, she'd always cook herself poha. And he remembered. It warmed her heart so much that he remembered these little details, that even people around her forgot, or didn't pay attention to.
"Here you go," he said, placing the plate in front of her with a smile. He sat down next to her and encouraged her to eat. She ate a morsel or two, playing with her food instead of eating it.
"Is something troubling you?" Armaan asked, genuinely concerned.
Riddhima nodded mutely. Something was troubling her alright.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" He probed.
Riddhima sighed. "Armaan... Woh... Billy Uncle..." she hesitated, not knowing what to say.
An understanding smile lit up Armaan's face. Of course that's what she was thinking about. Riddhima had always been a sensitive & empathetic person. She could never bear to see anyone in pain. A small part of him scoffed at that, remembering all the times he'd been in pain, because of her, but he quashed it. That wasn't important right now.
"Riddhima," he stated, "don't worry about it, okay? I know finding out about all this must have been a shock, but it's fine. Jaan & I... We'll be okay. I promise."
Riddhima passed him a small smile. "I know. You're the strongest person I know. But... That's not... That's not what I wanted to talk about."
"What did you want to talk about then?" Armaan asked, confused.
"Armaan... I... I..." she trailed off, hesitating. She wanted to tell him that she'd called Billy, but it was such a big thing, a huge unknown. She didn't know how it would affect their already complicated relationship. Would Armaan forgive her? Would he blame her for everything? What if he decided he never wanted to speak to her again? She didn't want that. But, she also didn't want to lie to him, or hide the truth.
"You what, Riddhima?" He pried.
"I... I was the one who called Billy," she finally told him. She had decided she'd tell him, and she also knew she couldn't back off now. He needed to know. He had the right to know. And, Armaan had changed a lot from the impulsive boy he'd once been. He wouldn't just react without understanding the situation.
But still, she immediately closed her eyes after saying the words, not wanting to witness the impact of them.
"What?!" Armaan asked, shocked.
"Yeah... I... I called Billy Uncle here," she confessed.
Before Armaan could get a word in, she continued, "I... I'm really sorry, Armaan!! I so am. It's just... These past few years, Billy Uncle has been really worried about you. He used to... He used to call me almost every week, hoping to find out about you. He even... He... He spoke to a lot of your college friends and... And... And Nikki & some other people, all in hopes of finding you. He really was worried. And then... The other day... I just... You were missing Rahul's mom and I wanted to do something... Something nice for you, something... I wanted to make you smile. So, I... Um... I... I thought that..." She trailed.
"So you thought you'd bring him here," Armaan finished, with a soft smile.
"Yes," Riddhima whispered meekly. "But I just... I never thought that... Well... You know... I didn't know things were so bad. If I had known... I never... I would've never called him here, I promise."
Armaan nodded in understanding. "It's okay, Riddhima. I know... Um... If you would've known the entire story, you wouldn't have done this. I know. It's okay. Don't... don't think about it anymore, okay? It's fine. You only had the best intentions behind this. Ab... Ab tumhe sab pata nahi tha... that's... That's not your fault! For so many years, I also didn't know. But... Now... Now, I do. I know so much better. So, yeah. It's all good. Don't beat yourself up over this."
"I really am sorry, Armaan," Riddhima replied.
"I know you are, but you don't have to be. It's all good. Really. I don't blame you for anything," Armaan assured her.
She gave a meek smile in response, that came off more as a grimace. "Chalo, yaar. Ab toh kha lo! See, you told me everything. And I'm not even mad at you," Armaan joked.
Riddhima laughed at that and nodded. And so she ate, this delicious meal that Armaan had cooked, specially for her, only her, while he sat beside her and talked about anything and everything to keep her entertained while she ate.
When she was done, Armaan escorted her to her room, but before leaving, said, "Riddhima... Yeh... um... The Billy thing. Mujhe bataya... That's great. But... Um... Please don't mention it in front of Jaan."
"Of course," Riddhima replied immediately. "I won't."
Armaan smiled thankfully. "Awesome! Thanks. Good night."
"Good night," Riddhima answered, walking inside.
It had been a huge roller coaster, this day, but... At least Armaan wasn't mad at her. And that was enough. For now.
xxx
Um, so yeah! For all of you thinking Armaan would have gotten mad, NO WAY! He knows it wasn't her fault. Mature Armaan, remember?
I know there are holes in the story that Rahul told everyone, but I did that on purpose because I wanted Armaan to talk about it, too. So, we shall revisit this topic later, mostly when Armaan talks to Riddhima about all this. But, basically what you need to know is that after Jaanhavi's mom, who was basically also Armaan's mother, died, Billy and Jaanhavi's dad treated Jaanhavi very badly. Armaan didn't know at the time and only found out a few years ago, which is why he is so very mad at Billy now, but wasn't back then when Billy had come to Mumbai to talk about the AR wedding. Armaan didn't know what had happened then, so his issues with Billy were strictly because of Billy's fights with Ananya.
Also, IM SORRY! I forgot to reply to comments! Woh toh maine abhi update karne thread khola toh dekha ki reply hi nahi kiya hai. Oops! Will be replying to them now. :)
And, yes, hope y'all liked this one! :D
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