Gotcha! You fell for it, didn't you?! Bwahahaha... Mind... woh bhi mera... too much time spent watching the DearMrs dearies, sangat ka asar and all that.
Anyways (sic... I have a sniffy editor guys) since you're here let me tell you something. Just because I may or may not be a little cuckoo, that doesn't justify me being cuckolded, now does it? Oh alright, I confess the former matter is still being deliberated over... where, you ask... Sigh, in the Agra wala institution. Bas, khush?
Let's get back to the main point. I have been privy to all the unending discussions taking place around here and no one seems to sympathise, let alone empathise, with me being the victim here. I too have feelings, you know. And they're hurting. I mean how could the DearMrs even bear to look at another man after me, that too that gormless Kunal, let alone get in bed with him. Kaise, I ask. Waise, I note the shivers continued here as well, albeit slightly different ones. Hmmm.
Now, I have a theory about the going to bed bit. She heard all those bells clanging and random Sanskrit shlokas playing and assumed the Gods themselves had come down to show her the way. Well, I wasn't there to guide her, now was I ;) I always knew that dratted Mrs Sharma had her telly on way too loud! And the DearMrs is nothing if not a bit... how shall I put it, naive? Which is why she has, or should I say had, a best friend who's sailing in the same boat.
Did you note the number of times I tried to warn her? I sent her video evidence for the love of God! I bribed all those random people who were going to her house for darshan to point her towards reality. As an aside, where on earth did they pop up from?! But, would she listen? Would she believe? Would she hell! Even now she doesn't realise her best friend and husband don't just coochie coo holding hands. Oh no siree. The kheer has been eaten.
A small corner of me did feel a bit bad for Mauli when reality finally dawned on her at the visarjan. In my defence, I guess I got carried away in the moment seeing my myriad attempts finally come to fruition Btw, you guys call me clueless, but did you notice how not even a single person paid any notice to a woman collapsing in a heap and going all Stopwa. Big cities, I tell you, smh.
Speaking of big cities, one thing I have noticed is that fortuitousness is a thing here, especially late at night. The right person always tends to wander by at the right time. Tabhi toh I have a handy bamboo on the ready in my car. The alcohol is just for personal lubrication since you ask. I knew I'd come upon Kunal at some point! And lo and behold, wahi hua. You people had better give me brownie points for aiming a few at him on behalf of Mauli.
Until, keeping with the fortuitousness, the DearMrs turns up to save her lover boy. Well, that was an eye opener. Either she had misread the dates for Durga puja or had binge watched Jayaji's scene in K3G. Standing up to me like that! Whatever next?! I feel I can confide in you now that you'll know me a little better, thoda darr toh laga tha.
But then I saw her grabbing lover boy's head and shaking him crazily while weeping all over him. Uh, that wasn't the wisest thing to do given I'd just attempted to open his mind for all to see, literally ;)
That wasn't a chastened me getting back in my car, guys. I had an epiphany as I saw the DearMrs with lover boy. That English wala banda got it all wrong. It is not Opposites who attract... kya bolun, my intelligence stumps even me sometimes.
