In Defense of Nandini

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Posted: 2018-09-14T23:06:31Z
Don't throw stones n tomatoes at meLOL
I can't stand Kunan, and my full sympathies are with Mauli. But I was just discussing Silsila story with My cousin who is a pyschatrist and I learnt something which wud explain why Nandini behaves the way she does (Coz it isn't possible for us normal mortals to understand her reactionLOL)

Nandini has suffered so much of abuse, that for her to fanthom that a man can treat her like a human instead of degrading and treating her as a sex object is Cry
It's almost like u see an oasis in a desert. Kunal literally worships her and Though she does feel guilty (only at times) but like a moth, She is unable to stop loving him.
And We all know Nandini does like Mauli in her own twisted way but for her, HER own Happiness is the most important. 
Years of abuse, neglect etc lead to a person developing personality disorder and Nandini has developed Covert Narcissism.

She is a I,Me, myself narcissist but Not the usual In-Your-Face ones.
She is a different type of narcissist .it is Called covert.
Covert Narcissist are Introvert and vulnerable.
They aren't a clich of a grandiose, self-obsessed, "look at me" narcissist. Instead, they behave in a much more passive-aggressive way.
One typical quality is False Humility - 
In covert narcissist, will be shown in a self-deprecating way. Narcissists will play the victim and put themselves down so that they bait you.

And secondly,  Lack of Empathy-
They only want to be served. Not to serve. They can't understand what the other person is feeling. They keep justifying their actions as they can't Empathise.

And third, They are Selfish. It's always I, Me, Myself. But people mistake them for being goody goody. Infact they themselves think they are goodSleepy

covert narcissist are wolf in sheep's clothing. The reason for this is because a covert narcissist pretends to be something he/she is not in order to hook people into their trap. 

A covert narcissist is someone that is often times thought of as the "nice guy or "sweet girl.

A covert narcissist plays the role of the boy next door or girl next door very well. They volunteer, do charity work and help out as much as they can. They seem to be an extremely caring and compassionate person. 

Some coverts might be shy, insecure or passive. They may seem to have very little self-esteem and confidence in themselves. 

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Posted: 2018-09-14T23:16:42Z
Hello Sneha!!! Bahut dino baad mili ho tumSmile

I had never heard of Covert Narcissism but if your cousin says, then it must be the case. Quite possible ki yahi ho Nandini ke saath since she knows Mauli is hurt but still desires Kunal. I was indeed trying to give the benefit of doubt to Nandini, due to the years of abuse she has faced but when they make her speak dialogues like, "I can't live without both", it just irritates you after a point.

If the writer is planning or has this in mind, I hope they deal with it sensibly and carefully since people hate women like Nandini, so justification of her behavior is very hard. Medical terms being used for justifying the wrong behavior often doesn't go down well with audience. Especially an audience that is so in sync with Mauli now. 

But I still don't get how Kunal will be justified or will he ever be. He had everything he wanted in life. He was a good guy. Some people suggest the white knight complex but his character seemed too good for all that, at least in the initial days. He loved everyone then how he could betray his lover is beyond me. The male ego also seems like a weird thing for such a loving person. The only thing I can think of is he took Mauli for granted. People often take their love for granted and do something out of the blue damaging the relationship built over years. But that won't justify Kunal's behavior either. Maybe he'll repent and pay for his mistakes in his own way.

And thank you for sharing this new POV with us.   
Edited by Priya_18 - 2018-09-14T23:18:35Z
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Posted: 2018-09-14T23:43:19Z
Thanks for the post and a different insight . Although i hate both kunal and nandini for doing this to mauli but if we think rarionally and study human behavior , kunal is responsible for this mess and leading nandini into this abyss..for a woman who never got any love or reapect , getting a lover like kunal must be like a dream come true ..for someone who has been abused throughout her life , her craving comes across as natural ..i feel kunal took advantage of her vulnerable mind and played upon it ..nandini needed a secure life ..as a woman i cant forgive her or forget but cant wish bad for her because she needed therapy and support ..if mauli or kunal understood this , she may have acted differently..it was important to build that self confidence in her so that she knows that men are not the only saviours..not all women are strong , not all humans are strong ..mauli being a strong woman couldnt handle this shit ..i mean she will take time ..rational mind says that women must be strong , nandini should have done this or that but emotional mind says its easier said than done , she held onto the anchor who came her way..its kunal who is more guilty or the two ..although i can never forgive nandini for doing this to mauli (who helped her against rajdeep) but just as kunal , nandini gave into her temptations ...certainly nandini is not justified even if her behavior is linked medically but she has reasons , kunal has none..
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Posted: 2018-09-14T23:50:07Z
Yes for Nandini it is possible.
She is not in a healthy mental state.
Kunal being a doctor ,lusted after her,broke her already weak resistance and then slept with her.
If this would have been a real life case and the person would have been a doctor,i would have said ,the doctor took advantage of mentally weak person,who had nowhere to go  and was blank about her future
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Posted: 2018-09-15T00:06:37Z
had u seen shaubhagyavati bhava serial which use 2 come on life ok 
sriti jha played d lead role of jhanvi  & karan singh vohra played viraj role

when u say abuse , then i suggest u see that serial,  u will understand d real meaning of abuse , how nandini was in a much better condition than jhanvi,  still jhanvi never gave up on her morals


yrs of torture also dint made jhanvi loses her morals  


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Posted: 2018-09-15T05:02:54Z
Possible but there is treatment for any psychological disorder.
What is the treatment for a covert narcissist.

What about rapes/murderers some people do it coz of some disorders , but innocents have to pay a price.

And nandani upon realising her feeling of love towards kunal did feel guilty, then why after few days slept with kunal & felt happy about it next morning

Even if you have a disorder you know what is wrong & what is right. sleeping with kunal & cheating on her friend who saved her and gave her a new life was her choice 
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Posted: 2018-09-15T05:10:36Z
Originally posted by deepikagupta9


had u seen shaubhagyavati bhava serial which use 2 come on life ok 
sriti jha played d lead role of jhanvi  & karan singh vohra played viraj role

when u say abuse , then i suggest u see that serial,  u will understand d real meaning of abuse , how nandini was in a much better condition than jhanvi,  still jhanvi never gave up on her morals


yrs of torture also dint made jhanvi loses her morals  



true abuse dosent change the true nature of a person. If we see the past nandani has always been like this. Choosing a few days man's love over her friends true love. For her love from the opposite sex was always more important. Even then she dint trust mauli that rajdeep misbehaved with her & literally accused her of leading on rajdeep and being jealous.
Even then she was the same, Mauli, righteousness, morals  was never important for her. Mauli should have known better to trust her again. But Mauli falls weak in front of her love for nandani. im sure even now she will not wish any bad for her. that is how her love is
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Posted: 2018-09-15T12:04:24Z
Originally posted by deepikagupta9


had u seen shaubhagyavati bhava serial which use 2 come on life ok 
sriti jha played d lead role of jhanvi  & karan singh vohra played viraj role

when u say abuse , then i suggest u see that serial,  u will understand d real meaning of abuse , how nandini was in a much better condition than jhanvi,  still jhanvi never gave up on her morals


yrs of torture also dint made jhanvi loses her morals  


I kind of expected jhanvi like transition in Nandini, how foolish of me! There viraj was a psychopath who needed treatment but Kunal don't even has that excuse.
Also jhanvi falling in love again shown brilliantly. They didn't just made her fall for a man just like that. Raghav-Jhanvi built a friendship and understanding, still their love didn't affect their priority. Later jhanvi was shown as NGO worker who helps Domestic violence victim. 
But comparing Jhanvi and Nandini now is just sounds wrong. This show made mockery of Domestic violence victims who thrive to lead respectful life.
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