An Arshi story: Bin Tere A/N | Pg 137 - Page 2

"Khushi! Careful! Watch where you are going. You would have tripped and dropped the hot subzi all over yourself, you silly girl." Admonished Payal as she held Khushi to stop her from tripping and falling, " what were you thinking of? Or rather why were you not thinking?" Asked an exasperated Payal. Her sister was an adorable, chulbuli young thing, always upto some mischief and her attention somewhere else. And if Khushi had dropped the malai kofta that her sasuma had specifically asked for, Payal shuddered to think of the barrage of verbal complaints that Manorma would let loose. 

"Kuch nahi jiji" mumbled the young lady in question as her eyes darted again to her Arnavji sitting in the living room talking to his friend Sheetal. It had been like this for the past few weeks. Arnavji and she had run into Sheetal, Arnavji's friend from his Harvard days in the market few weeks ago. She was new in the city, along with her young son Aarav and no place to stay. Khushi being the good kind soul and the impulsive thing she was, could not let the young single mother and her son, stay alone when her friend had such a big house. So she insisted on getting her home and staying with them, till Sheetal could find a house to move into.

Arnav had been taken aback by Khushi's insistence that Sheetal stay with them and had expressed his displeasure subtly to Khushi but when had he ever been able to say no to Khushi?

Her Arnavji! Always the grumpy Laad Governer! He had tried, not very subtly she must confess, to tell Sheetal that she should stay elsewhere. But Khushi would not hear of it. 

Arnav had tried protesting, but then Anjali's happiness at having a child in the house had sealed his lips. He could see how talking to Aarav had brought Di to life in just those few hours. Against his misgivings, he had given his assent for the mother and child to say in his house, much to Khushi's delight.

The first few days had been nice, Khushi mused. It had taken some cajoling from Khushi to get Arnav to come sit with the family, Sheetal and Aarav. But slowly he had relaxed and Sheetal and he would talk about college days and she had seen Arnavji laugh at some old memories and sometimes even talk animatedly about college. Her loving heart was so happy to see her Arnavji relax and enjoy a few moments she knew how hard he worked for the family and the weight he carried on his broad shoulders.  

And then slowly she had started to feel alienated in her own home, from her own husband. It seemed that Arnavji seemed to have time to spend with everyone except her. Or was she being unfair? He did still come to bed and chat with her; they talked about her and his day and then promptly fell asleep. But the time they seem to spend together seemed to getting shorter and shorter. Arnavji seem to be spending longer and longer in the family room with Sheetal and their family. The man, who could barely sit in the lounge after dinner would loiter around chatting with Sheetal and Anjali and the conversation would often revolve around Aarav, his similarities with Arnav and how having a child in the house made the whole house full of laughter and joy. And Khushi could see how Aarav's presence had made a differenec to Di. And that stopped her from saying anything to Arnav. Arnav was spending more time with Di  as well, even though it also meant he was spending more time with Sheetal but the important thing was that Di was happy.

She had, in an inexplicable bout of courage, even explained some of her insecurities to her husband, who had laughed them away and assured her that he only loved her. Sheetal was just a friend. And she trusted him. Even when she had got to know that at one point in time, Sheetal had been more than just a friend. And then the little boy Aarav. He was so much like Arnavji. And they seemed to bond so well. Just like father and son.  

But she trusted her Arnavji. Then why did she feel so unsettled and her heart so heavy, she wondered as she placed the subzis on the table and turned back to the kitchen to get the rice. Arnav had told her time and again that the servants were there to serve, but she liked doing this for her family. And if she was honest, she did this more so now so that she could escape to the kitchen and not see how comfortable Arnavji was with Sheetal.  It seemed to her that every day Arnavji seem to be drifting away from her and it didn't seem to bother him at all.

She could hear Arnav and Sheetal talk in fluent English. 

 Something that she could not do. 

She saw how Sheetal wore clothes that women of Aranvji's society and workplace did.

 Something that she did not do. 

She saw how Sheetal talked about and discussed work with Aranvji. 

 Something that she could not do. 

She saw how Sheetal and Arnavji had so much in common college, friends and experiences.

 Something that she, Khushi Kumari Gupta, a halwai's daughter from Lucknow, could never do.

She saw how Sheetal called him Arnav .

 Something that she could not bring herself to do.

Note: While they are more authentic and true to the characters, I struggle a little to read stories where Hindi dialogues are written in English. Not because I can't read or understand Hindi, but because it is not easy nor fluid, reading Hindi that has been written in the English script. So for the ease of my own writing and hopefully for reading comfort, I have written dialogues which were meant to be in Hindi, in English. These have been highlighted in red. So shall ask the readers to take a leap of faith 😊 and assume that where the dialogues are in red italics, they are being spoken by the character in Hindi even though I have reproduced them in English!! Confusing? Hope its not and you will understand as you read along.

Five months ago, she had joined English speaking classes. She had wanted to surprise Arnavji. She wanted to be the wife that Arnavji would not be ashamed of, the wife that he could take with him to his office parties, a wife who could be the hostess of his office parties, a life partner he could introduce to his friends, a woman whom he could talk to without sometimes having to stop and think of what a word meant in Hindi, a woman who would be able to watch, enjoy, understand and discuss his English movies with him, a woman who could read the papers for his business world news and talk to him about it, a woman who could share more than just his home and his bed, a woman who could be his equal. She did not want to do this because he asked it of her but because she wanted to be a life partner who could match him every step. She knew or had thought that her Arnavji loved her no matter what. Now she wasn't so sure any more. 

After meeting Sheetal, did he regret marrying her? Did he regret the fact that his wife was not a modern woman who could hold her own in his social circle? Is that why they had never really hosted any parties for his friends at home? Was he worried she would not be able to talk with his friends? That she could not speak English nor wear the kind of clothes Sheetal wore so comfortably? Was he ashamed of her? She had hoped to surprise him by speaking English, but was that enough? She had so much more to learn but no matter what she did, she would never ever be a match for Sheetal.

"Khushi? Arnav voice shook her out of her thoughts, "come for dinner, what are you doing standing at the kitchen door, lost in thoughts? Arnav smiled, patting the chair next to him as he sat down. Khushi shook her head, smiling at his gesture, her heart lightening at her Arnavji's concern for her. As she moved towards him, she stopped in her tracks, as Sheetal came and plonked herself on the chair next to Aranv.

"Yum, the food smells delicious! Sheetal remarked, as she picked up a piece of alu from Arnav's plate, your wife is a fabulous cook Arnav. No wonder you married her. 

"That she is, Arnav agreed, " no one makes food quite like Khushi.

"That is a big compliment Khushi Sheetal remarked, "Arnav was known to be  a foodie in college. He has exquisite taste. I should know, I have had to deal with all his fussiness. You know all our friends used to wonder how I could tolerate him?

"Rubbish! Arnav smiled a the memory, " but Khushi knows that very well. She has had to tolerate all my moods, whims and tantrums long before she became my wife. But yes, if I was to wager that anyone in college knew me well, it would be you. Those were fun times, despite all my struggles.

"Chote it is wonderful to see you lighten up. I haven't seen you like this in years. Anajli gushed, " Sheetalji, having Aarav and you has been like a fresh lease of life for this house.  It seems like khushi has returned to this house again and-

Khushi smiled slightly as she quietly slid into the seat next to Nani. How could Arnavji allow Sheetal to take her place? Did it make no difference to him whether it was his wife or his friend who sat next to him? And did Sheetal really know him as well as she did? Then how was she different from Sheetal in terms of her place in his life? 

"What are you saying Anjali bitiya" a slighty displeased Nani chided Anajli, "this house has seen happiness walk through its door when Khushi and Payal bitiya came in as Raizada bahus especially Khushi bitiya. If I had looked myself, I would not have found a better girl for my chote. Madhumatiji is absolutely right. Khushi bitiya is like her name. She spreads happiness (khushi) wherever she goes."

"Haan Nani, I know that but it is wonderful to have a child in the house" Anjali smiled as she gazed affectionately at Aarav.

"Yes bitiya, I understand that, but it is not good to get so attached to another woman's child, Nani tried explaining, " he will leave this house one day and go live in his own house."

"But why nani, our house is large enough" Anjali whined, "Aarav can always stay here. Hai na Chote? she turned to her brother seeking his concurrence. She knew her Chote would never deny her anything.

" Nahi Anjali bitiya. Sheetal is an independent working woman" Nani spoke before Arnav could respond, "Yes this is her friend's house but she is a guest and guests don't stay permanently. Plus I am sure she wants her own home and her own space and not be beholden to someone else." She conveyed her disapproval as tactfully as she could. Sheetal looked up hearing the old woman's firm refusal of Anjali's plea and made a mental note to work harder to win over Nani.

"Nani is right Di. Sheetal will need to move to her own place sometime, "Arnav gently supported his grandmom. Of recent, he had started to notice how Di's world seem to be revolving around Aarav and was worried at the attachment Anjali appeared to be forming with Aarav, "they are a family and we need to allow them to be one. But of course they will come visit here as often as you want."

"Its ok Arnav, I understand Di's attachment to Aarav. In fact, Aarav is lucky to get her love and affection." Sheetal intervened.

"See even Sheetalji has no objection, then why can't they stay here?" Anjali pouted at her brother, knowing that her Chote would never ever refuse her anything she really desired.

"because I say so" the matriarach firmly said, "And Sheetal bitiya, you are sitting in Khushi bitiya's place.  You are a guest so I will overlook this, but from next time please be careful." 

"Sorry Naniji, I didn't realize." Sheetal mumbled, her face red at the humiliation at the hands of the old woman. It's a matter of time Naniji, she thought as she got up, there will come a day when this will be my rightful place.

Arnav looked up guiltily at Khushi on hearing Nani's words. What was he thinking? Or rather, why was he not thinking? He had called out to Khushi to come sit with him but had got so involved in the conversation that he did not even register that Sheetal had sat in Khushi's place.  It was like he would sit down with a colleague at a dinner if he were chatting to them, but he knew to Khushi these things mattered and to his Nani certainly.

But before he could say anything, Khushi surprised him, "Nahi Naniji, koi baat naahi. Arnavji baat karte karte baith gaye. Jagah ki toh baat hai. Aur main apni favourite nani ke paas baithi hoon." Khushi smiled gratefully at the old woman. Arnav couldn't help but smile at Khushi's response. She would never let anyone say anything against him.

"Nahi bitiya, there are somethings and some house traditions that need to be respected. Go sit next to Arnav" Nani admonished gently, "It is good to be nice and accommodating but not to such an extent that people take advantage of your goodness." Silence greeting her firm words, as Sheetal and Khushi quietly exchanged places.