| Holding On & Letting Go : AR FF | chapter 15 - pg 76 | 11 Nov - Page 54

Posted: 4 years ago

Originally posted by sunsetnvine


I am moving to college by last second week of July, let me settle around will give an update ASAP. 


all the best!

Posted: 4 years ago

yes !!!! still waiting though

Posted: 4 years ago

okay so i am going to update 2 days after tomorrow. hang on there. inspiration is striking. 

Edited by sunsetnvine - 4 years ago
Posted: 4 years ago

Image

(italics: flashback)


When did I become so numb?

When did I lose myself?

All the words that leave my tongue

Feel like they came from someone else


Armaan felt resentment, he felt anger and he felt his movements becoming hazy. He was angry, confused, he was in pain. He pressed the buzzer in his room as the nurse came and helped him lay down on the bed and injected him. He hardly felt the needle piercing his skin, his emotion pain numbed his senses to feel the physical pain. His breathing became normal but vision stayed hazy with sweat and tears. His dream flashes in his mind over and over again. His inner demons overpowered his unconscious mind and it was scary. He just wanted the pain to end. He just wanted to see her being okay. He wanted to touch her and feel her, not because he wanted her but because he wanted to know that his dream wasn't real.

He didn't feel like himself. How could he shout at her? It wasn't surprising she questioned if he would understand her or not because he was the one who made himself unapproachable. Of course, he was hurt but it wasn't his place to shout at her. She wasn't the one who asked him to leave then, she wasn't the one who ran away when she came to know the love her life was hurt. 'Love of her life', he chuckled, he hardly might be now. It's been so long and maybe it's just the memories that brought her here. For all he knows, it was just for closure. He was broken and damaged and who would want a person who would leave you when you need them the most and leave you doubting yourself.


I'm paralyzed

Where are my feelings?

I no longer feel things

I know I should

I'm paralyzed

Where is the real me?

I'm lost and it kills me inside

I'm paralyzed

He didn't want to question her feelings, of course, he doesn't, why would he? He had no right and also he doesn't want it to be true. He wanted to apologize to her, talk to her. He knew she wouldn't come here until he asks her too, she made it clear. He wanted to say so much to her, to get closure, to be in peace and let her be in peace and let her leave that if she wanted to, once and for all. He almost got up but then he realized he was couldn't, he was sedated.

He laid there in silence, his toes curled, fists tightened and teeth gritted, with tears in his eyes.


Ridhima laid there on the bed as she tears ran down her face soaking her pillow wet with her earplugs in as she talked with Rahul. 

"Rahul you didn't see him. I saw when he said all that to me, he was so hurt. I did hurt him again Rahul despite me trying to make it all okay, maybe I am just not right for him. Rahul, I am coming back the day after tomorrow and he didn't even call me yet. If he wanted to, he would've. It just hurts so much."

Rahul didn't know what to do. He thought it was going to be okay. He thought there wouldn't be much crying except for the reconciliation. It hurt him how he couldn't be there for them because this was something they have to do on their own. How he wished he could've told her Armaan where doubts way before and he knew it was the time she knew that he hid it all from her. 

He also realized how his actions might have hurt Muskaan and vowed to apologize to everyone. He felt helpless, he didn't want to give her false hopes.

"Shhh, Ridhima please stop crying because you are alone there, I really can't do anything here on the phone. Yes, what you did was wrong but it isn't all your fault Ridhima. Ridhu I told you it wouldn't be easy, no one said that you will not make mistakes because mistakes are bound to happen. It's been more than six months Ridhima and you can't just continue from your engagement day ignoring the time in between, you guys just have to start over step by step and if it means hurting each other in between then be it. It will be okay." Rahul sighed as he sipped his coffee.

Ridhima pondered what he said as they stay on the phone in silence. He was right, it just hurts her because she went through all that and she didn't remember how she felt when someone behaved with her the same way she did with him. Her own sister undermined her, doubted her and made her break piece by piece, while she wasn't blood, that doesn't mean it didn't hurt her. They haven't talked for months and she didn't plan anyways but she knew she hurt Armaan in a similar way, on a very small scale- yes but being hurt isn't measured on a scale, it's repercussions are.

When did I become so cold?

When did I become ashamed? (oh)

Where's the person that I know?

They must have left

They must have left

With all my faith

Shashank increased the volume of the television as he heard his daughter cried. He wanted to go to her but he knew this time he shouldn't. This was definitely not his place to intervene, she was wrong somewhat on her part and besides, he knew she was talking to someone and it was okay if she stops crying on her own. His kids are grown-ups and he understands it now. They are individuals and responsible for their own actions.

Billy came in and sat beside him and gave a small smile. Both wanting to talk about their minds to someone.

"So-"

"So-"

Both of them said at once and laughed. Strange how life works, two people who didn't really were fond of each other, now just knew what the other person had in mind. 

"It just makes me sad how much it hurts them. She affects him and we can see that, in a good way. She challenges him to become confident in himself, to realize his worth. They are human and are supposed to get hurt in the way, it just makes my heartbreak that we can't really do much here." Billy sighs and removes his shoes and keep his legs on the center table.

"He changed her too. He makes her question on her mistakes, he makes her feel confident as well, to work for things and not run away. He makes her stronger. He makes her fight for herself and make decisions for herself. I know we can do much but we can do one thing and that is, get them to one place because why not? It's hardly any intervention and not sorry to say but our kids are walking on eggshells that they think there are and we are leaving the day after tomorrow, at this pace I don't think anything will happen and being a catalyst isn't any wrong, is it?" Shashank raised his brows.

Billy looked at him funnily and wondered what changed this man so much but realized, it's the same reason he did, their kids.

"Armaan got an attack but I think he'll be okay, we can work something up I guess." Billy smiled and got up taking his shoes as he leaves for his room. Shashank opened his phone to make some arrangements. His kids will be able to work it up. He hoped. Because hope was the only thing they all had. It was the only thing that kept them all okay, all alive.


Sid stitches the wound and looks at her. She looked tired, she looked drained and he wondered what type of lady she was. He was happy they were leaving tomorrow, he couldn't bear another day of her bossing him around. Of course, she would do that even in Sanjeevni but at least there would be people along with him to bear her. He rolled his eyes as she got up and stretched and went to her car and sat in the passenger seat with doors open and closed her eyes.

 Ridhima sighed as she felt fatigued, it was a slow day. She had little hope that he would ask her to meet him. Her eyes open as soon as her phone vibrates and opens it as a message pops on - 'from billy', she opens it as it read-

"Hey, Ridhima beta. I was wondering if your schedule is free tonight, I would love to chat up and have dinner. I know it's been a tiring and tough week and it would be okay if you have a change of plans later but you up for a date? With your handsome billy uncle?"

Ridhima smiled and replied yes. So what if Armaan didn't want to talk to her if he wants to then they can set up a different time. She was definitely up for this father-daughter dinner, why wouldn't she? Whatever happens, Billy will always be the funny father figure of her life.

She hoped it will be okay. They are human, loyal and good. They made their mistakes but they'll keep fighting for each other, it might be hard right now but she just knows that this time it will be all okay.


Billy smiled when he saw Armaan in his room as Shashank and he talked. Armaan didn't have the courage to message her anymore, he figured that much. Surprising how night changes someone's thoughts and their plans.

Shashank smiled as he patted Armaan's back. That man changed his way of thinking and he was so proud of him and her daughter. They are just dealing through this hard phase and he might have been one of the reasons for their pain in the past and he is so damn apologetic for that but he knew it was time for him to help his kids.

Their life is messy and painful but everything will be okay and the hurt will go away, they'll be together one day and that is the hope they all had that they'll be happy, together and at peace. That after the long day of pain and hurt, they'll all win and find each other again.

a/n : this is for paaki. imy and you need to read this as soon as you come back because it's just written for you.

song : paralyzed by NF

Edited by sunsetnvine - 4 years ago
Posted: 4 years ago

Let the stalking commence....

Posted: 4 years ago

Where is part... waiting for it

Posted: 4 years ago

You're a b****. This made me cry. Billy Uncle & Shanky are >>>>>>>

I love how you're portraying them here. It's so, so, so good!! 😍

And ofc, you know how much I love my RidRahul. So, yay for them!! Rahul is really the best friend anyone could ever have.

And finally coming to my baby boy. Gods. He makes me weep. 😭😭😭

Idk what to tell you. This was so good even if it was sad and made me cry. My Armaan needs to get better soon, okay? Please!! Do that!

Posted: 4 years ago

awesome part.part ki liye bohot sukriya.love the part.rahul is such a good friend.feeling bad for armaan.jaldi armaan thik hojaye.Beautiful story.eagerly waiting for next part

Posted: 4 years ago

Sanjuuu you updated and didn't even inform me😳🀧


Tune to rula dia man.. Amazing update...



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