Love Binds them, Hatred blinds them - Part 15 Updated 05 June

            There was a time Khushi used to love loud music, noise and too much of activity around her. There was a time she used to run here and there and her buaji used to call her Titiliya (butterfly) because of her over jumpy nature. Now she don't even talk more than a sentence to anyone. She stands in the balcony of the Raizada guest house watching into the vast garden and into the sky but don't even utter a word. For a person who don't know khushi, they might think she is dumb and deaf. There was one instance where Payal got terrified seeing Khushi standing for 4 hours straight that she thought Khushi slept off standing or in trance

         Arnav Singh Raizada is restless. It is his daily ritual to see Khushi once from far and have breakfast on the same table. Even though they don't talk anymore he is happy she is in the same house before him. Today was no different, he wants to see Khushi on dining table so that he can have his share of mental peace and he can work properly

         He waited for few minutes. Back of his mind so many thoughts are bugging "Did she get wet again and got fever?" "Did she leave him again?" "Is she in her own mood of not seeing anybody or Is she getting panic attacks?"

          He knows that Payal and Akash are before him and having peaceful breakfast means Khushi is safe and sound. He knows if she is missing or sick - Akash and Payal will make whole house upside down and would spend time with her.

          His restless mind didn't stop assuming things even though his rational mind knows she is safe in the house because he knows if anything happens to her, his heart will know. That's a unique connection they have. Why and how they have, he don't know the statistics or cause of it but if she is not good, his heart knows. Everyone says he doesn't have heart but only this incidence makes him feel he has heart and it beats for Khushi.

         He wanted to ask Akash or payal or for that matter his sister but he doesn't even know how to approach the topic without facing the glaring eyes of his family. His thoughts were broken by his Bhai Akash calling him "Chote, are you ready? Shall we start?"

           For the past 2 years there is no day he went to office without seeing Khushi and his heart is restless. "Bhai just one moment" he said and rushed to his room without even hearing to his Bhai answer

         The moment he reached the first floor where all bedrooms are there, he took a detour and went to Khushi room. He has checked her room but he couldn't see her anywhere, he checked her bathroom - he knows his limitations, if Khushi sees him in her room she will react very badly and might get panic attack too. He has to take risk, he has to for his restless heart and mind. Again she was standing in the same position in the balcony watching the vast garden he maintains with so much love. She stood like a statue.

       "When will she be his khushi, when will she become the old Khushi he loved dearly, when will he see a smile on her face?" He can wait for his whole life time to get back his Khushi and make her his. He can survive with her anger, he can survive with her hatred, with her ignorance, her tantrums but can never see fear in her eyes for him. And when he has experienced that fear in her eyes because of him, he backed off.

     That's the breaking point for both of them. He never attempted to come in front of her and she never bothered if he is there in the house or not. Sometimes he feels - his existence is of no importance to her. Kaash he can be little important in her life. Kaash he could win the little space she has for hariprakash. She searches with her eyes whenever hari prakash don't serve dinner or break fast. His place is not even that in her life. Hope he could create a place in her heart. Hope he gets that Khushi who has loved him with no boundaries. The importance of anything is known only when we loose it.

      The unconditional love he received from Khushi is something he craves now. Kaash their past is not that complicated. Kaash he has realized the value of her love then... there are so many may be's in his life

     Its been 2 years he hugged her, its been two years both of them has stared each other, its been two years he has seen her laughing, its been two year he bloody touched her.

     He wanted to touch her. He want to be selfish once, only once. He want to touch and just hug her for his sanity.

    He went near Khushi and has hugged her from back. Its just a moment where he wanted khushi to realize he was, is and will be always her lover who can only has the right to touch her. Khushi didn't even move or flinch which is a good start. Very good start. This is the first time in 2 years she didn't panic with his touch.

   He just kept his head on her shoulder and was trying to watch what her plain eyes can't say. He don't know for how many moments he stayed like that, he wants the moment to be his memory forever. He can listen his Bhai calling distantly "Chote, where are you?"

    His trans was broken with his Bhai shout and he was about to go outside when he has felt her hands on his hands on her stomach. Khushi just touched him

    Khushi just touched him after 2 years. She kept her hands on his hands which are on her stomach. He is ecstatic, happy, ballistic, emotional and most of all content. The click of door has brought both of them to this insane world. The little moment of wonderful trans is broken

    Khushi has instantly removed his hand as if she had realized what happened is not according to her like and turned with that shocking face that he wants to just erase whatever has happened. He knows what is coming, he bloody knows it. She will shout and get panic attack. He don't want that, he never wants that