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Now, Without further ado...
70.La Douleur Exquise...
Literally, "the exquisite pain of longing for someone you cannot have.
instinct that is found in any man is in all men. The instinct of
possession and protection and the instinct of dislike for any other man
who is a potential danger or could be one, brings out the predator that
the male specie has been bestowed upon.
silence between them lay heavy on them, between the two men who share
the mutual feeling of protecting one woman that they love and care
about. To Raj, the bold accusation didn't fit well from a third person
like Maan and for him to have been making comments on his personal
matters made him seethe.
as natural as it came to him, he wore his cold and hard exterior with
pride and indifference. To think that his little storm, his Geet still
pined for this man made him angry at this man who thought he knew what
was best for her. Not that he disliked Raj for not falling in love with
Geet but he just couldn't stand the thought of anyone hurting his woman.
"And who do you think you are to pass judgments on other people's choices?" Raj spat at him.
Maan relished the taste of wine, "Her name is Geet..."
He corrected Raj and continued, "And it is very obvious, knowing she had been in love with you, she probably still is."
Raj took a sharp breath in, calming his nerves, not wanting to continue this discussion anymore with a man he so despised now.
I don't think I find you worthy enough to discuss this with you. I hear
that you have proposed to her and that she refused? Boy, that must have
stilled, making Raj smirk. Nothing hurts a man more than a rejection
and nothing is worse than being reminded of that rejection.
He took his time to reply, "the hurt that she went through and the hurt that you would never understand Raj."
smirk on Raj's face vanished. He cared about Geet and he loved her. He
knew she was hurting but then he thought she was moving on. But Maan's
words said otherwise.
turned to him and smiled, "You are a lucky man Raj. Very lucky. And
probably that is why you could never understand Geet. Even today, you
stood quietly as he watched Maan walk inside and take his leave from
everyone. It took him some time to gather his wits and walk inside and
found Geet standing at a corner, watching Maan who was busy talking to
"Maan, you are leaving so soon? You will be going back to New York?" uncle sighed.
Geet longed for his one look.
"Yeah. I am actually traveling to Delhi before I go back."
Pooja raised a brow, "India?"
"Yeah. Got some work there."
"When are you leaving?" her uncle asked, thoughtfully.
"Day after tomorrow."
The old man looked at Maan and then at Geet, "Geet beta, you were thinking of visiting Shimla too right?"
Geet's eyes widened in shock and surprise.
don't you travel with Maan? That way, we wouldn't have to worry about
your safety too. And from Delhi, you can take a flight or train to
couldn't believe what just happened. And neither could Maan. Before
they could say anything, Pooja and the rest agreed for the same too.
Geet. That would actually be great. Else dad would have worried until
you came back. Now that Maan is here, he can actually relax a bit..."
"But..." Geet looked at Maan who caught her gaze.
"Uff... no ifs and no buts. Pooja turned to Maan, "you are okay with this right?"
Maan looked at his little storm lovingly, "I will be more than happy.."
He whispered softly which didn't go unnoticed by Pooja.
uncle thanked Maan profusely for taking care of his little daughter but
all Maan could do was to watch his nervous little storm. She was a
paradox. He knew. She was fighting a battle and she was losing it.
And this time, when he walked out, he did turn and glanced at her once and smiled softly, "I will get the tickets done."
She stood by the door, long time after he was gone, holding her restless heart.
Ohh dear love, why do you play with me so?
bittersweet pain that he always leaves behind made her laugh and cry at
the same time. She'd be traveling with him to India. The thought just
made her so jittery and so happy for reasons she didn't dare to admit.
As she walked towards her room, she heard Raj and Pooja talking about Maan in the living room.
"I tell you Pooja I don't like that man. I am very happy that Geet said no..."
Geet froze on her steps.
"But Raj, what happened, tell me na..." Pooja tried to calm him down.
man..." Raj vented out, "he is just so self obsessed and rude. Gosh, how
does even his family handle him with that bitter mouth?"
Geet gasped loud, something clawing painfully at her heart with Raj's words. She
watched Raj stand up and walk towards her and hold her by her
shoulders, "I am so happy that you said no Geet. He is not good for you.
We are going to find someone really great for you.."
Geet heard none of it perhaps. She pushed away Raj's hands, not knowing
what came over her but he was wrong. He was so wrong about that man.
About her Maan...
"No..." she spat, "he is not what you see. You don't know him. No one knows him. He isn't what you think... You are wrong."
"You guys don't know anything about him." She screamed.
even Raj could even say anything, she ran away to her room, feeling
angry at Raj to have even thought of something like this about Maan. No
one knew him.
No one! And she hated everyone who wronged him.
Be ready by 10am. I will pick you up.
She had read and re-read that text from Maan like a thousand times since she had received the previous night.
"I am upgrading your ticket!"
"Upgrading? But why?"
"You aren't travelling in Economy and alone! I am getting you to the business class."
"What? Ohh No..no.. you are not doing that!"
"Shut up! You are not travelling in that. Just give me a sec..."
"what is your problem? I am upgrading you to the business class you silly woman!"
"and I don't want to be upgraded you monster! Don't show me your money. I am travelling in whatever I have paid for."
"You don't want to travel in business class because of money?"
"well then excuse me for being poor!"
fell on the bed and giggled at the memory. There was this anxiety
brewing up inside her, just like when you don't know what to feel
between nervousness and excitement.
"Geet... Maan is here. Hurry up."
heard Pooja's voice from down the stairs and she rushed to her window
only to find him standing by the car, waiting for her. She quickly
picked up her bags and rushed out, quickly bidding everyone goodbye.
The moment she stepped out and saw him, she almost lost her footing.
Oh my! Those rimless specs...
breath hitched just at that. With that off white sweater and denims,
and not to forget those specs complimented by that stubble, she felt her
heart beating so fast, like a teenager secretly watching her crush.
He opened the door for her as she approached.
Always the gentleman...
She looked at him nervously and he gave a soft smile.
"So adorable..." Pooja whispered in Geet's ears making her conscious.
The drive was silent throughout for he was on call back at home.
"Yes mom. I will reach Delhi and call you... yeah and Geet is with me...yeah yeah.. she is fine..."
He sighed and looked at her, "Mom wants to talk to you."
Before she could even say, he shoved the phone into her hands and looked away. Very cautiously she pressed the phone against her ears, "he...hello?"
"Geet beta... Oh dear God...we all missed you so much..."
felt overwhelmed with all the love she was being showered upon. And
what did she do but run away like a coward without saying proper
goodbyes to anyone. She talked to his mother, his father and Kabir and
Ana and blinked a couple of times to hold back those tears. Gosh, she
missed them terribly.
Ana snatched away the phone from Kabir and chimed, "You are with Bhai? Oh I cannot believe..."
Geet bit her lips and looked at Maan. He was looking out of the window. she sighed and looked away.
"Its not so Ana..."
"Then? But you are with Bhai right?"
"Yeah because I am traveling to India too."
Ana hung her head in defeat, "Geet yaar... don't do this to yourself and Bhai please."
"Mi Bella...please say Yes..." Kabir spoke from behind.
"Say yes please. He loves you so much..." Ana cried.
She glanced at Maan one more time and whispered, "I know..."
Ana hit her head, "then say yes you fool."
"I will speak to you later. We are almost near the airport."
"I just don't understand your reasons Geet. I just don't. I give up."
Ana whined and disconnected the call.
She handed the phone to Maan and rested her head against the glass of the window.
What were her reasons?
knew by now that it wasn't Raj. Yes, at one point of time, he was one
of the reasons, probably the time when she had run away to find solace
in the hustle and bustle of NYC. But the advent of certain people
changed everything about her. Even her own perceptions! Raj or
Pooja...none of them were her reasons anymore. She knew they have moved on
in their lives. And she had too. She had moved on in certain aspects
like this. She has walked miles ahead and fallen in love with a man so
incredible and so amazing that she felt blessed to have found him when
she did so.
were always some unasked questions and answers that needed answering.
She sighed and closed her eyes in the comfortable seats of the flight.
"Anything for you Ma'am, Sir?"
She woke up to the voice of the air hostess, dressed impeccably like a doll. She glanced at Maan who was reading some magazine.
"One Irish Coffee for me please..." Maan ordered and looked at Geet who was still groggy.
"Geet...order what you want.."
He excused himself to use the restroom.
Drowsy that she was, she knew Maan ordered some coffee and maybe that'd help her sleepy bones.
"the same as him.."
"Right away ma'am.."
yawned and stretched and looked out to see a beautiful bed of clouds,
white and gray, playing with the sunlight. She had slept off the moment
the flight took off.
He came back after a while and saw her taking off her shoes and folding her legs up in a comfortable position.
"Did you order anything?"
looked at him and her heart skipped another beat at the sight of him in
the rimless glasses. The sunlight from the window fell on his face and
she kept watching him lovingly.
"Geet?" he found her lost.
"did you order anything? Where are you lost?"
"yeah... I did."
And just then the air hostess served their drinks and left.
He picked his mug and then gasped in horror as he watched his little storm sip in the same drink that he had ordered.
"Hmmm... this is nice.." she hummed licking the cream off her lips.
He gaped at her for a few seconds and called out to her lovingly.
"Hmm?" she turned to him with a smile.
"What have you ordered?"
She looked at his glass and then at him and shrugged innocently, "Coffee."
I knew it.
He slapped himself mentally.
He sighed and kept the mug on the bay, not knowing whether to laugh at her innocence or her lack of knowledge.
"Coffee?" he asked.
She looked at her drink and then answered meekly, "Yeah, I ordered whatever you did."
He was tempted to lean closer and kiss those cheeks but smiled instead.
"this is an Irish Coffee."
She cocked her head to the side, "yeah. So what about it?"
He sighed, "do you know what an Irish Coffee is?"
"Coffee with whipped cream?" she made a cute confused face.
He couldn't hold the laughter anymore.
"why are you laughing?"
He shook his head and pointed towards her mug, "you don't drink whiskey Geet."
"what?" her eyes widened and her jaws dropped.
"Yeah. Irish Coffee is a blend of whiskey and black coffee, topped with whipped cream."
"Oh my god..." she made such a scared face as if she had committed a sin and put it away.
"Why didn't you tell me before?"
He shrugged, "How would have I known that you'd order whatever I did."
She twisted her lips and looked away, feeling stupid.
"Geet." He called out.
She didn't reply.
"Geet, listen.." he tapped her shoulder, trying to hold back that laughter.
"What?" she snapped.
"Listen to me first."
She turned to him and looked at him pointedly, "done laughing?"
He bit his lips to stop that smile from escaping, "Umm yeah. Now tell me if you want something to eat."
She sighed and relaxed back, reclining the plush backrest, "I'll have a Mac and Cheese and a coke."
He shook his head and called for the attendant to order her food and when he was done, he found her looking at him thoughtfully.
"What?" he raised a brow.
She picked up her mug and forwarded it to him, "what do I do with this?"
"Don't worry. They'll take it away."
then, there was silence again. He watched her looking out of the
window. The sunlight falling on her eyes, reflected the beautiful brown
in her orbs. How long has it been that they had even spoken properly?
Only he knew how crazy the past three months had been for him. She was
there, so close yet she was too far. He couldn't touch her even if he
wanted to; couldn't reach out to her despite being capable enough. And
it was sheer luck that she was even talking to him now. He flipped
the magazine when her food arrived and she dug in like a hungry lioness.
He smiled lovingly when his eyes fell on the corner of her lips. The
cheese sat there proudly as a mark of her appetite. He took the napkin
and swiftly wiped it off without a warning.
She was taken by surprise at the sudden action.
"Eat properly." he kept the napkin back on the tray.
"Ohh..." she watched him getting back to his magazine and asked, "you aren't eating?"
kept quiet for a while, watching him lost in his thoughts. She hadn't
spoken to him for so long and now that they are this close, all she
wanted to do was talk her heart out to her.
"Maan?" she called after a long pause.
"Hmm?" he glanced at her.
"What are you thinking?"
kept looking at her for a while, going back in time when things were so
easy between them. And now, she had to think before she said something.
"Nothing." He shrugged. "just some things I need to take care of back in Delhi."
"Dadima's stuffs?" she asked softly.
Their eyes met and a known look passed between them. The memories of dadima still remained fresh in his mind and hers too.
"Umm." he nodded, "tell me again, why are you going to India?"
He avoided the topic as quickly as it had escalated. She understood it too. He didn't talk much about dadima to anyone anymore.
gulped down her coke, "I have to meet the people who take care of my
parent's house. Apparently they want me to put it up for rent."
He watched her eyes droop with the memory of her parents.
"Do you want to put it up for rent?"
don't know. I have my entire life there. I still have all the things
intact and they are important to me. I just cannot give it away. But if I
think practically, the house will actually be taken care of in a proper
way if people live. The rent will bring capital for me. But I just
don't think I can let go...I'm torn."
"Hmm..." he closed the magazine and kept it on the bay.
what do I do Maan?" she looked at him helplessly, "everyone tells me to
put it up for rent. But then that is the only thing I have left of my
"What did I tell you before Geet?" he asked with a I-told-you look.
"That do what you want to do and not what others want you to do!" he narrowed his brows at her.
could vividly recall that evening when she had found him in the study
and told him about her land issues. And how easily he had cleared all
her dilemma...just like he did now.
or bad... that only time will tell. But it takes a lot of courage to
take a stand, knowing where you come from. And I am so proud of you for
doing that... taking things in your hands and abiding by them.
do what you want to. If you don't feel like putting it up, then don't.
It is as simple as that. Do it when you are ready. I don't know why do
you over think...you..."
"Because I cannot be you." She cut him in between.
He stopped and gazed into her eyes filled with so many emotions.
"I cannot be you Maan. I don't have that much experience or the patience or anything that takes to be you."
He let out a soft breath, "And I don't want you to be me."
at her troubled expressions, he leaned closer and cupped her cheeks,
"You are YOU Geet. No one can take that away from you. You don't have to
be like me or Raj or Pooja or whosoever. You are perfect just the way
you are. That is your individuality. Don't you want to preserve that?"
knew this man loved her and that she had run away from that very
feeling before even acknowledging that. But to be this close to him and
feel that love was something she was experiencing for the first time.
And that overwhelmed her.
Her hands held his over her cheeks as she smiled softly, "how?"
He moved away from her, not wanting to scare her with his feelings that always surfaces whenever he was in her proximity.
"How can you solve everything so easily?"
eyed his hands sadly as they remained far away from here, clasped on
his lap. The warmth of his touch still tingled on her cheeks.
He smirked, "That's just the way Maan Khurana is."
She sighed and rested back on her seat, trying to calm that thudding heart, "so full of yourself still, eh?"
"What? You don't agree little storm?" he smiled smugly.
just happened to say the right thing at the right time. There is
nothing more to it." She tried teasing him but she knew he'd come back
with answers she wouldn't be able to counter.
"That is what exactly people need Miss Handa. You must understand how the human brain works."
She looked at him pointedly, "who are you? Some saint or what?"
He smiled and shook his head, "you are free to imagine."
She ignored that and continued, "So, how long are you going to stay in Delhi?"
"Umm... a week may be. Depends upon how fast the work gets done. How is your new workplace?"
"It's good. Great actually. But I miss New York." She spoke that out loud for the first time in three months.
"Then come back to us." He looked straight into her eyes, telling her and not asking.
She stilled, watching that affectionate look and wished if she could ever reciprocate.
"I know it is too much to ask but you are a free bird Geet. Do what pleases you..."
gave her a weak smile and turned away, closing his eyes. They still had
a few hours before they landed. Geet sat there, watching him slowly
drift off to sleep. She was tempted to touch him and see how it felt to
be close to him after ages but she held herself back. They had talked
after so long and it was so easy to be around him. It felt as if
everything was okay between them except the fact that it wasn't. She
missed this. She missed him. She missed everything about him. She gulped
down that knot in her throat, chiding herself to believe that some
things are just not meant to be.
parting at the airport was more painful than she had imagined. He had
asked her about her whereabouts and she had chosen to go on her weary
way, bringing up that ice once again that had started melting during
their journey. She slowly walked away towards the exit, she had this
urge to turn back and run to him. She wanted to but she couldn't. The
train journey to Shimla was filled with nothing but the thoughts of the
man who had made his place in her life and sat there adamantly.
"How are you doing Geet?" Ana asked over the phone.
"Aahhchii.." she snorted, "I... I am good Ana. How is everything there?"
"You aren't well?"
"I am alright. Just cleaning the house. There is dust everywhere."
talked about their lives and Ana told about Aarush and everything under
the sun. The few days at home had really calmed her nerves. She felt so
much at peace. It gave her the same warm feeling that it used to, when
she was just a little girl. The empty house seemed haunted to everyone
else. To Geet, it was her hide out. A place where she knew she could be
herself and no one will bother. She could live with her own thoughts
was only a few days later that she sat by the window watching the rains
of the hills, sipping hot cup of coffee, when a frantic call from Ana
"Geet, did you talk to Maan bhai recently?"
"Ohh god..he hasn't been taking our calls from morning. Mom is so worried. He hasn't even called back yet."
"He might be busy..."
"He has never done so Geet. We are worried. Has he called you?"
"No... he hasn't since the time we landed in Delhi..."
"Oh my god..."
reaction scared Geet now. She quickly disconnected the call and dialed
to Maan. To her utter dismay his phone came unreachable. She tried a few
more times but then she just couldn't connect. Worry filled her head as
Ana's fears seeped into her. She paced restlessly across the hall
thinking who to call. She knew no one in Delhi.
But her face fell immediately because she knew Adi hadn't travelled with Maan this time.
couldn't even have her dinner in peace and decided to watch TV to
distract her mind. Weird thoughts filled her head but she kept changing
channels until she stopped at one particular news channel that brought
back everything that she had forgotten.
had been some accident in NH8 owing to heavy rainfall and there has
been a heavy traffic jam. Her face paled with the details being aired
live on the channel and she felt her life draining out.
Could it be...
"Maan?" she fell on her knees, not able scream and neither being able to cry.
>>Alright, we stopped at a wrong point. But guys, 4000+ words...
the longest update of the season!
>>What do I deserve now but lots and loads of likes and comments.
loved the updatee.. maan and raj having a small argument.. maan a]making raj realize what geet went through... geets family wants to send geet wth maan to india.. geet have a small argument about maan wth raj.. geet and maan going to india together... maan and geet talking to each other.. both missed talking to one another.. after the flight both go to their destination... geet thinks maan has an accident... i hope its not true.. update soon... i think after this geet will realize her love for him and not runaway from maan
Nice update dear Raj not like Mann talking to him like that may be he is hurt as he showed what he done and he is blaming him Geet is angry on Raj that he saying Mann is not nice person mann and Geet travel together to delhi and talk normally Annie called Geet and asked about Mann as he is not picking up there calls and mom is very worried Geet got tensed about Mann